A/N: Ok, here I am with more! See? Told you! Didn't I? Oh, well. Anyway, enjoy!! Hooray for Ranger 3 who's got the best line ever! Ha, no...sugar!!!! CHOCOLATE!!! Yep, my magic supplement!

Boromir: Aragorn

Frodo = Gimli

Gandalf = Pippin

Gimli = Sam

Legolas = Frodo

Merry = Merry

Pippin = Legolas

Sam = Gandalf

Denethor= Eowyn

Eomer= Denethor

Eowyn= Theoden

Theoden= Eomer

Gollum= Gollum

Chapter Six: Riding to Helm's Deep and The Headquarters!!

At The Headquarters (which really has a name but I don't care)...

"Well, are you here to kill us? Didn't I say they'd probably be?" Faramir asks.

"Yes, your paranoid delusional lordship." Ranger 3 says.

"Ok, you, the shorter one, what's your motive?"

"To destroy an evil ring, your wackiness."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that...anyway, blondie, what's your motive?"

"Same as the short one, except I really don't want to be here. I wanna go hoooooooome!" Legolas says.

"Wow. Maybe they're not here to kill us!" Faramir says.

Ranger 3 faints from the shock of what he just said.

"What?" Faramir asks.

Ranger 3 gets up and looks dazed.

"Ok, man, can you let us go?" Legolas asks.

"Sorry, blondie, but you have to come with us."

"Where?"

"H2."

"GASP! The Secondary Crime Scene! I saw something like this on CSI: Mirkwood! We can't go with them!" Legolas says.

"Er, unfortunately for you, you can and you will." Faramir says, going from paranoid to evil. Ooh, evil Faramir!!

"NOOO!" Legolas screams. Faramir and his rangers march the group out of the caves and towards H2, also called Osgiliath.

Meanwhile, in Edoras...

"I can't believe how twisted this story got!" Denethor moans.

"Hey! Read from the script!" Eowyn screams, tossing a large book called, 'SCRIPT: ADSOL'S Way' at Denethor, who picks it up and reads out if it.

"Ahem. 'My Lord Aragorn! You're very handsome and I don't think I can live without you! Swoon and faint...' what?"

"You only read the stuff in normal print, not italics!" Eowyn yells.

"OK, ok, sheesh." Denethor says.

"Try again." Eowyn says.

"'Lord Aragorn! You're very attractive and I love you! I think I'll die if you don't love me, so let's get together and go for dinner! Is Friday night good for you...'" Denethor faints from what he's reading.

Boromir is standing there getting paler by the moment and now looks like parchment.

"Er, Boromir?" Pippin asks.

"I...don't...feel...well." Boromir says quietly.

"I wouldn't either, if I had to go through what you are." Eowyn says.

"Well, whatever, Mrs. King." Boromir says.

"That's no way to talk to the King!"

"Yeah, well I'm gonna be king of all Middle Earth, so pah!" Boromir says.

"Oh yeah?"

"I'm back. Aragorn, kill me now so I don't have to suffer." Denethor says.

"Sorry, but I think that that'd be against the books..."

"SCREW THE BOOKS!!" Denethor yells.

"I never knew you felt so strongly..." Pippin says.

"Ok, I really think we should all go to Helm's Deep..." Eowyn says.

So they all ride to Helm's Deep.

A/N: Yes, kind of short, forgive me. Review, dears, and get the magic Elvin Fizz: Drink of the Sugarhigh! Don't tell me you don't want that...hehehehe!! Yay! Er, I'm sorry for scarring your lives with images of Denethor in a dress and hitting on his son...it's wrong of me, I know...but I don't care!!