A/N: Here we are with exciting chapter TEN! And I've got a name for RotK when I get there: The Reverse of the King! Aha! See what I think up at midnight? Anyway, we're gonna explore wonderfully frozen Osgiliath and enjoy a long section of the Battle of Helm's Deep! Hooray!! I lied. Elrond and Arwen are coming NEXT! I swear!! They are! They rate their own chapter, so this story is gonna be 12 chapters instead of 11. Happy?
Boromir: Aragorn
Frodo Gimli
Gandalf Pippin
Gimli Sam
Legolas Frodo
Merry Merry
Pippin Legolas
Sam Gandalf
Denethor Eowyn
Eomer Denethor
Eowyn Theoden
Theoden Eomer
Gollum Gollum
Chapter Ten: NAZGUL!! Helm's Deep!!! Battle images!!
Tagging along with Faramir and the Osgiliath gang..."Oh my god! It's raining! IT'S RAINING!! MY hair is RUINED! I'm SOGGY! Who on EARTH wants a SOGGY ELVISH PRINCELING???" Legolas whines.
"I'm sorry, the irrelevance of your question has been noted, thus making me unable to answer it." Faramir says.
"Can you answer ANYTHING? You've said that for the LAST 12 HOURS!!!" Legolas screams.
"So? Anyway, all you've been asking is beauty questions! Maybe it's because I grew up in a normal house, but NO ON in my FAMILY except my MOTHER who DIED wore MAKEUP!!" Faramir screams.
"What?"
"NeverMIND!" Faramir screams, stalking away towards Osgiliath.
"Now you pissed him off!" Ranger 3 says.
"What?" Legolas asks.
Meanwhile, with the Helm's Deep Crew..."All right, Frodo, I mean, Gimli, if you die, I'll carry your remains." Pippin says.
"What?" Frodo asks, looking pale.
"I mean...let's just...er, fight?" Pippin says.
"Who's bad? Huh?? WHO'S YOUR DADDY???" Boromir screams.
"What?"
"I'm BAD, I'm SEXY, and I'm a LEAN, MEAN, KILLING MACHINE!!" Boromir screams.
"He's scary!" Frodo says.
"Ok, Uruks, you goin' DOWN!!" Boromir says.
"Er, shouldn't you be yelling in ELVISH??" Haldir screams.
"Right! Ok, Tangaldo Haid!" Boromir yells.
"Wow. For a pathetic human he speaks Elvish pretty well." Says Elf 200.
"Lethio I Phillinn!!" Boromir screams, as a rain of arrows rains down on the Uruks.
"Wow. Good shot, Pippin!" Frodo says.
"Thanks."
About 30 minutes later..."Hey! Pip! How many've you killed?" Frodo yells.
"Er, lemme think...about 18?"
"WHAT? CHEATER!!"
"Yeah? Well, I have 30 so pah!" Boromir says.
"HOW?" Frodo and Pippin yell.
"Because I'm a fighter!" Boromir says, doing a spin move and chopping the Uruk.
"What a man!" Breck sighs from the sidelines. Wait! What??
"Er..." Breck says, dancing away. Yeah...
"Anyway..." Pippin says, shooing off more arrows.
"20" Pippin says.
Meanwhile, with Gandalf, Merry, and Treebeard..."So, we're going to Isengard??"
"Yep."
"Good. Can't wait! It'll be sooo much fun!"
"No it won't."
"Yes it will, Merry, don't be a pah."
"A what?"
"A PAH. Pah." Gandalf says.
"Ok..."
Back to Helm's Deep..."Anyway, this makes...36!" Pippin says.
"25! No fair!" Frodo says.
"50!" Boromir screams.
"That man got SKILLS!" Breck screams.
"Yeah?? OH, YEAH??" Frodo screams.
"What?"
"I'm sexy! I'm cute! I'm popular to boot! Who am I? Just guess!" Boromir says.
"Yeah...?" Pippin says.
Everyone resumes the fighting.
"This is cool! I love this!" Eowyn screams.
Meanwhile, in the caves..."They're breaking in!!" screams Terrorized Woman 3.
"Really? Great! Everyone's gonna DIE and I can get OUTTA HERE!!" Denethor says.
"WHAT?" Everyone else asks.
"Er, I mean, that's a shame...I sure don't want that!"
"CROSS DRESSER!!!" Screams someone.
"AHH! AM NOT!!"
"Then why are you wearing a dress? Unless you're a queer!"
"A WHAT? Woman, do you have any idea who you're talking to?"
"A queer?"
"NO! I'm Denethor, Steward of Gondor, and unfortunate picker of the name Eowyn in this stupid little game."
"That's a happy thought."
"I'm happy. All the time. Oh, yes." Denethor moans.
"AAAAAAH!!"
"What?"
"I have no idea."
"OMG!! They're INSIDE!!!!"
Denethor lets out a girly-man scream and runs around.
Meanwhile, back on the wall..."65!"
"40! DANG!"
"103!"
"Curse you, Boromir!"
"Why?"
"I DUNNO!!"
"Well...whatever..."
Suddenly, an Uruk with a torch runs around, trying to find the hole.
"Togo han dad, Legolas!" Boromir screams.
"What?"
"Bring him down! Kill him!!" Boromir yells, giving Pippin a kick.
"All right! Sheesh!" Pippin says, firing off an arrow into the Uruk and killing it.
"Er...." Everyone says.
With a planned charge, the bomb blows up and everyone on that part of the wall is blown away, but not blown up. And we suddenly hear...
"I'm FLYING!!"
"Shut UP, FRODO!!!!"
A/N: Enjoy? Leave a review, and tell me other stuff you'd like to see! This story is winding down, to be followed up in THE REVERSE OF THE KING!! And then to be followed with FOURTH AGE REVERSALS! And other great stuff!