A/N: Hey, everyone! I've decided to finally finish up this story so we can move on to part 3! Isn't that spiffy? It's not. Ok. Anyway, we're all going to have some fun and all that. To be continued in...THE REVERSE OF THE KING!!

Boromir: Aragorn

Frodo Gimli

Gandalf Pippin

Gimli Sam

Legolas Frodo

Merry Merry

Pippin Legolas

Sam Gandalf

Denethor Eowyn

Eomer Denethor

Eowyn Theoden

Theoden Eomer

Gollum Gollum

Chapter Twelve: The Battle for Middle-Earth is about to...go completely down hill.

The Battle for Helm's Deep has been won, in part by Sam riding down a steep slope with Theoden and company behind. Boromir, Frodo, and Pippin have just decided that the only way to celebrate is to go back to Edoras to have a wild 'n crazy party. So, that's just what they're about to do...until everyone's favorite cross-dressing steward shows up.

"You WON? Now I've lost 2,000 dollars in the bet! I though you were gonna lose!" Denethor yells, wearing a lovely dress that he really wasn't meant to wear.

"Wow, dad, I'm so happy to see your genuine concern and care for your eldest and most beloved son's life." Boromir says.

"Yeah, and if we lost, you wouldn't even get anything, know why? You'd all be DEAD!" Pippin screams.

"Jeeze, hobbit man, take a chill pill!" Denethor says.

"I WON'T!!!" Pippin screams, walking away.

"Anyway, can't we all get on with our lives? I mean, dad, me, Frodo, and Pip are planning a wild party in Edoras. I mean, come on!" Boromir whines.

"Talk it over with his majesty herself over there." Denethor mutters.

"She said yes."

"Than what are we waiting for???"

So everyone decides to ride off to Edoras.

Meanwhile, with the others...

"At last we're leaving this grungy city!" Legolas whines.

"Keep your shirt on, dude." Gimli says.

"Why? All the ladies want to see me topless! And you know what? I think I'll let them have their birthday wishes!" Legolas says.

"NO!" Faramir screams.

"Why? It's what they want..."

"It's not what they want. Somewhere in that twisted little brain of yours, you think that's what they want! Well, it's not! OK? Everyone wants to see GOLLUM TOPLESS!!" Faramir screams.

"But he already is!" Legolas whines. "They all want to see me!"

"Do not! That's a lie! Besides, the Gondorian Women's Magazine did a 'Who Would You Like to See Topless?' article, and DENETHOR WON!" Faramir screams.

"EEEEW! That's SICK!" Legolas screaches.

"Keep your pants on!" Gimli interjects.

"Are you suggesting the ladies want to see me in the nude?" Legolas asks.

"Eeew! Now that's disgusting!" Gimli says.

"At least it's not GOLLUM in the nude!" Faramir says.

"Now that is truly sick and disgusting!"

"Why are we having this conversation?" Gimli asks.

"Er, good question!"

"Yeah, Faramir, maybe you should just let us all go...or something." Legolas says.

"Aww, man! You were the best person to capture, you pansy elf!"

"Haa, he's got you there, Legsy! He's got you there!" Gimli chortles.

"He calls you 'Legsy'?" Faramir asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Gimli! What on earth is wrong with you?? You...dwarvsie...you..." Legolas shrieks.

"Now that was stupid." Faramir says.

"Whatever, man, can't you just let us go? I mean, come on! I love this city and all, but some other time!" Gimli whines.

"Whatever. Hey, where's that annoying little freaky friend, Gollum or whatever his face his?" Faramir asks.

"We isss right heresss, you idiot." Gollum hisses.

"Aren't you nice? Well, I'll just drop you off at this tunnel...and if you harm one hair on that Elf's head..." Faramir says.

"Aww, doesss Ranger feel attraction for Elfie?" Gollum wheezes.

"EEEEW! How about NO!" Faramir screams, drop-kicking Gollum down the tunnel, which Legolas has already started down.

"See ya, man. Keep the Elfie in line, and give him a good punch for me." Faramir says.

"You got it, dude!" Gimli says, walking down the tunnel.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! IT'S DAMP AND DISGUSTING IN HERE!" Legolas whines.

And with that, we come to the close of the Two Towers.

A/N: There you have it! We're on the last chapter! Hooray! It's time for the next installment! Look for it sometime soon! Review, me hearties!