The Price of Love

He awoke with a start the next morning around ten O'clock to find that he had not fallen off of a cliff, but off of his bed.

He had never had one of those dreams before, actually. It had started out like the ones that had him walking around with all of the fog, but when he tripped and fell, he was surprised to find that he didn't land. He just kept falling, like his broomstick had just bucked him off.

He awoke in a heap on the floor.

He lay there for almost a minute, trying to comprehend what, exactly, had just happened, and why we was in so much pain. He had landed on hardwood floor, which wasn't pleasant. His bed was near the corner of the room that wasn't covered by the carpet.

"I'm really sorry!" Sirius apologized to him from on the bed.

He let out a string of groans. He had jostled his tender ribs and landed on his abused back. "Hey! There's my other shoe." He had thought, looking underneath the bed.

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm –ffFFinne." He replied, yelping as he tried to stand up. His back cracked painfully as he did so.

"Get back in bed."

He complied without protest. He stretched out appreciatively. It couldn't be very good for his back the way he slept: curled up in a ball, trying to be as small as possible.

"Did I kick you? I know I stretch out too much when I sleep. I'm really sorry if I pushed you out of bed."

"You've done worse." He thought to himself, though he felt bad. "No, I'm fine. Really." He said the latter out loud.

"Sit up real quick. I want to look to make sure I didn't leave a bruise." He sounded concerned.

If this was how Sirius reacted to the possibility of kicking him, he didn't want to imagine the reaction he would get from lifting up his shirt.

"I'm fine, Sirius." He said with a lot less anxiety then he felt.

"You sure? I could get you some ice."

"It's alright. You didn't even kick me. I'm sure." That was a lie, but technically, he hadn't kicked him in the past twenty-four hours.

He sat up, and Harry realized that he should do the same. His back protested loudly, and to add to his pain, Sirius had thought it would be a good idea to grab his shoulders as if to give him a back massage.

He cringed, knowing this was – in all normality – supposed to feel good. It wasn't. Not in the slightest. He felt like someone had stabbed him in the shoulder, and began hacking away like an axe.

"It's all right! I'm fine." He half groaned.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm all right." Why was Sirius being so anal about hurting him?

"You should go back to sleep. It's too early in the morning for you to be up. I'll make breakfast."

"Take the hot pockets out of the cardboard box this time."

"Trust me, Harry. That is something you only do once."

"I'm sure." He concurred.

"I don't feel like going back to sleep. I just want to get up."

They headed towards the kitchen. "What did you break this time?"

"A vase."

Realizing that Sirius would probably get suspicious about things being broken only on days he got drunk, Harry had taken it upon himself to solve that problem.

It lay shattered in the middle of the floor. "What is this? The fourth, or fifth time you've broken this particular vase?"

"No idea. I'm going to make breakfast."

"How about we just go out to eat?"

"Works for me. I'll get changed."

"I'll have the chipped beef, and a stack of pancakes. Maybe an omelet as well.

"Would you like hash browns with that?" The waitress smiled in an exasperatingly cheerfully voice.

"Yeah, sure."

"Take it easy, Harry! This isn't your last meal."

"Your son here has quite an appetite."

"Oh, he's my god-"

Harry was careful to hide behind his menu at the waitress's remark, and remained that way for the entire period of awkward silence.

"On second thought, I'll just have an order of scrambled eggs. I'm not really all that hungry after all."

He handed the waitress his makeshift shield reluctantly and looked down at his arms crossed on the table.

He sipped his coffee and added another packet of sugar to preoccupy himself. He could practically hear Sirius's mind shuffling through all of the plausible conversation subjects.

"How's your homework coming along?"

"I've been done for two weeks. Remember? You helped me."

"You've been practicing Quidditch an awful lot."

"I want to be captain this year."

"Sucks for Slytherin." Harry looked up with a smirk.

There was another pause, but Harry knew what this one was leading up to.

"What do you think we should do about these dreams?"

"What are we suppose to do? I guess I should start taking dreamless sleep potion." He lowered his voice so that no eavesdropping muggles overheard him.

"No. You're not taking that shit."

Harry looked up startled. "What? Why not?"

"Because I said no."

"What kind of an answer is that?"

The waitress interrupted them by coming back with their food. He picked at his eggs for a couple of minutes, staring pryingly so that Sirius didn't forget that he was still being questioned.

"I told you, Harry. You're not taking any goddamn drugs." He said it loud enough that a few heads turned.

"Oh, that was smooth." He scowled. "It's not a drug. I mean, come on. People take it all the time."

"The conversation is over." His voice was low, and scary. He wrapped a shaking hand around his hot coffee mug, and ran the other through his hair.

"Then I guess I'm back to taping my mouth shut."

"The hell you will."

"Well what the fuck do you propose? I don't see you volunteering any ideas, here." His patience had run thin.

Sirius stared at him in silence. The look he was getting was alarming him. He kept his eyes on him, staring unblinkingly until he felt so self-conscious that he felt his eye start to twitch. He wrapped the other shaking hand around his cup.

Sirius was going to kill him tonight, and he knew it. He could practically feel the beating he was going to get. His teeth had started chattering, and he was pretty sure it looked suspicious as it was eighty five degrees.

"Check please."

Harry ignored the stitch in his side. He was tired of walking at the pace he was going, but the fact that Sirius was actually behind him gave him the motives to keep going.

After paying, they had left, heading for the shortcut into the forest in order to get to their house. Harry had rushed ahead, avoiding the talk that he knew Sirius and him where going to have when they got back to their house. His plan was to get ahead of him so that he could lock the door to his room and pretend to be sleeping.

He smiled as the house came into view. He got to the door, and walked inside. At least, that's what he would have done if the door wasn't locked. He had been the last one out of the house that morning and knew he hadn't locked it.

Sirius came up next to him about a minute later.

"Lets sit down on the couch."

He complied forlornly, curling up against the side, putting his head against the armrest.

"For starters, I don't want you cursing. Not so much, and definitely not at me." He could add that to the list of things he would be screamed at for that night.

"When I tell you that I don't want you to do something, you're going to have to trust me."

"I still don't know what the big deal is…"

"I'm telling you… you just have to trust me!"

"That isn't an answer! Why should I trust you anyway? It's not like you've given me any reason not to do it."

Sirius gave him another look. "You really want to know?" His voice was a forced calm that sort of freaked him out. It was low, like he was giving him a last warning.

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's just a potion. It's not like it's going to turn me into a drug addict."

"You know… those are almost the same words my brother used a couple of days before he died. I found him dead in his house about a week later… he died from overdosing the same shit you want to use."

There was silence. Dead silence. Harry didn't even breathe at this revelation. He stared unblinking into the eyes of his Godfather, his mouth open a bit.

"I'm really sorry, Sirius! If I had known, I wouldn't have said anything… I feel like shit." He felt really bad. He knew from experience that what Sirius was doing now – resting his forehead on his hand – meant he was upset.

"Yeah, well, maybe you should just listen to me when I tell you not to do something." He nodded, promising he would.

He let a couple of moments of silence pass before he asked. "Then what should I do?"

"I don't want you taping your mouth shut just so that you don't scream."

"But I don't want you to wake up, either. Maybe you could cast a silencing charm on me?"

"I don't think that would work either."

"Then… what?"

"I want you to start talking to me about this. That's your problem… you're keeping all this to yourself. Of course you're going to have bad dreams."

He nodded hesitantly. He wasn't good at talking about his problems with people. He wasn't good at telling people anything. Just look at what had happened the last time…

"What if it doesn't work?" He was afraid to ask. "Are you- going to send me to a shrink or something?" He didn't want that to be answered.

"Harry- lets just take this a step at a time."

"I don't see why I can't just tape my-"

"Because you could choke."

"I've been doing it all summer. Nothing has happened so far."

"You shouldn't have to though. Any respectable parent wouldn't let their kid tape their mouth shut."

"Well you're all ready unorthodox as it is."

"That doesn't mean I abuse you."

"No- of course not." He didn't let anything slip into his voice. What he could hear of it. His heart had leapt to his throat and he barely hear.

"Lets watch some TV." He requested, still not quite recovered from that statement.

"Yeah, lets."

Notes: Well, up until now, I haven't answered reviews for this story. I mean, if there seems to be a big huge rush of questions, I answered them (like… last chapter). But now I've got withdrawal. I want to answer you because you've got excellent questions, and this is the most reviews I've gotten in… ever I think. I mean, fifty reviews for three chapters? Nice! So, I'll answer reviews. I mean, this chapter was pretty short, and nothing really big happened.

Angel72: Well I think you should go for it! There aren't enough out there as it is. I'd love to read it. : )

SweetSuzanne: Yeah, I've had problems with FF.net too. It's easy to curse them out when they're annoying, but since I spend all of my time here, it's like biting the hand that feeds you. I feel the changes in Sirius's character make him seem more of an enigma. Glad you feel the same.

Doneril: Well now, I can't answer the last part of your review, but I think you're being a bit harsh to cannon Sirius… actually, I think you hit the nail on the head, actually…

Pip3: Actually, that is how he acts in day time. When he isn't being neglectful that is. I meant to show the difference between drunk and sober Sirius.

Nemati: I'm glad you think so.

Felinity: Now, do you really think I can answer that? (I'm starting to feel a bit like JKR in her interviews) I can't give the plot away though.

Sondy: Well that made me feel great! A loyal 'checks to see if I've updated everyday' fan. Thanks a lot!

Malletwielderofdoom: Well someone gets it! I feel like a stand up comedian who just told a joke and only two or three people laugh. Not that great of an analogy, I know. And yes, can't you tell? Harry already does have some sort of complex or something.

Froboy: As soon as I can, I do.

Prd2bAmerican18: As soon as I can!

Natural Anthem: You- you don't? Wow, you are an individual! Half the population of fanfiction readers love to see the main character beaten to a bloody pulp! But yeah, even though I love Sirius, and up until book five found him perfect, that was my aim for this story! It's cool… how you can feel bad for the abuser, huh?

Doublemint: Sort of neat, huh? I like stories that mess with peoples mind, and make them ask "Who am I suppose to hate?"

Srialb: Since we've all ready talked, I guess I don't really have much to say. Sorry I haven't been on much.

ShardWing: Thanks. Glad you like it.

Prongsblacks: You think it's sad? I find it tragic, and confusing a bit more then sad.

Atticus J. Finch: Oh, I love To Kill a Mocking Bird! There isn't enough fanfiction for that story! I'm glad you like it.

Frizzy: I wish everyone else got it. Of course, with controversy like that, I wasn't surprised by the windfall of "Why didn't Remus believe him?" Snape? See, I would, but Harry hates Snape, and it would be fifteen more chapters before Harry would even consider talking to him about his problems. I hadn't planned that much, and I've already got an idea for how the story will go.

Someone: Well, I've now updated both, (Or I will by the time you read this). I hope you're happy. : )

Elessar: thanks

Katini Petitedra: I'm glad. Can you tell which ones you read though? I've never found any before.

Savor Truffle: Every time I read your name, I get a chocolate craving. Thank you.

Dailynn: Thanks.

Pears: I hope this was soon enough.

ERMonkey, Queen of Insanity: Well that's a new one. McGonagall? I've never heard that suggestion. I don't think Harry likes her very much. And if he couldn't tell his friends, I can't see him telling a professor. (Remus is the exception since he's a friend of Sirius's)

Sword Wielder – Firebreath: Thanks a lot!

RubberDuckie713: Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Sirius wouldn't come out of nowhere and just start swinging at his Godson… and it wouldn't be too accurate if he did. I'm glad you saw that. No one else mentioned the years in Azkaban part. You shouldn't overlook that. Remus coming over would be a bit too coincidental, don't you think? Well, you'll be able to see how Harry deals.

So thank you everyone. If I didn't say it in a response, that's because I'm getting a cramp in my hand from all of this typing. Lol. Keep reading!

KD