Chapter 9: Inside the Psychotic Lion's Den
Disclaimer: I disclaim FY. Questions?
A/n: sorry if I misspelled a term or something, or get it wrong.
"Hmm, well, this is a pretty pickle." Akire woke up, and as expected, all tied up. Her chains were fastened to a rough wall inside her cell, which just looks like a miniature cave. In a similar cavern opposite her, Tasuki hung a foot or two from the ground, chains fastened to his arms and feet. Still powerless from her previous attempt to track Ikegai down, she deemed the time too early to use her powers again.
"Oh, good, the high and mighty Akire has awaken from her slumber," Tasuki said. His face as well as his nose is dripping with blood, though a crude bandage was wrapped around his wound. Safe to say he looked more messed up than Akire.
"Look, I don't need to hear this right now!" Akire screamed, her voice echoing in the dungeon. She tried standing up, but her chains were too short, and her effort caused her to jerk back and hit her head on the wall. "Hey, you're not the only one with the problem here, lady!" Tasuki retorted teeth clenched in anger and pain (it ain't no picnic tied up and hanging from the air after falling from a cliff). "The only reason I'm still alive is because your cuckoo ex-boyfriend wanted me squirming when he executes me, which I think is very, VERY SOON!" he continued.
Akire bit her lip, looking at his condition. "Look, Tasuki, I never asked for your help," she said softly. "And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sorry if I dragged you here in some way." Tasuki, after a minute of silence, calmed down a bit. A bit. "Boy, that Ikegai's brain's all messed up, huh?" he finally said.
"It's gone to pot, that's what it is," Akire laughed, finally relieved they weren't going to do another scream fest in the least likely of places.
"How'd you end up with a guy like that?" he asked. Akire shook her head and said, "Believe me, if a guy tried to do what he did to me now, I'd stick my fist in his craw!" She balled up her fist to stress her point, and then came a wave of heart-rending shock. The ring is gone! She tried looking over her shoulder to see for herself, and found that all that's left of her ring was the indentation it made on her finger.
"I lost my ring, THE ring," she whimpered, thinking that Ikegai took it. Tasuki, after wiping some blood off his face with his shoulder, said, "You worry about jewelry in a place like this? All you women are bonkers. What's so important about it?" Still unable to tell the truth, she replied, "It, it has sentimental value."
Tasuki smiled maliciously and said, "What, did Hotohori give it to you?" Akire narrowed her eyes and said, "What do you mean?" Tasuki flashed that toothy grin of his, saying, "Oh, don't you try to hide it, missy, I bet you have a thing for him!" Akire's jaw dropped, and she said, "Hey, I treat him with respect. R-E-S-P- E-C-T, Tasuki, not infatuation. A few smiles here and there don't count as 'a thing'. Unless," she continued, this time having the same spiteful smirk, "you're basing it on personal experience. Tell me, do YOU feel that way for Miaka?"
"NO!"
"Aw, c'mon, fang boy, I see the way you stare at her!"
"Stare at her? Maybe 'cause starin' at someone when you talk to her isn't a crime!"
"You sure?"
"Hey, I ain't the one in love with an aristocrat!"
"What's wrong with that? I mean, I'm not in love with Hotohori! Maybe you are in love with, with, with NURIKO!"
Tasuki's eyes widened, and then closed tight, as he stuck out his tongue and grimaced. "You realize what you're saying, Akire?"
"What? She doesn't look bad at all!" Akire replied.
"Eh, she?" Tasuki said, "heh, when we get outta this mess, I'm gonna havta clear up a coupla things for you." Akire smiled, admiring his optimism and said, "If, no, when we get out of here, I won't be bothering you again, and you stop with the Hotohori cracks. So, truce?"
The seishi replied (after spitting out a tooth that got loose), "Ah, what the hell, why not? But don't bring up the Nuriko thing, you hear? You'll give me nightmares!" Akire said, "I still don't get why Nuriko seems so loathsome to you. Am I the only one who thinks she isn't that bad?"
Shaking his chains, Tasuki tried again to see if his hand slips through the manacle, but it's just too tight. "I feel like my arms are gonna fall off, Akire, any bright ideas?"
"I have a few! Why don't I execute you in, oh, say 30 minutes, and it'll end your suffering?" a voice said. Craning their necks, Akire and Tasuki saw Ikegai with 9 more replicates of himself standing at the entrance. "After, of course, I get married to Akire! If I execute you earlier, that would ruin the atmosphere!" Ikegai continued.
"YOU ARE SICK!" Akire spat. Ikegai frowned at the remark, and summoned two of his replicates. "You know what to do," he said. To Akire's horror, the two servants took hold of Tasuki's chains, hoisted him a few feet higher, and then releasing the chains. "Just a little incentive, Akire," Ikegai beamed. "It won't matter, you'll kill him either way," she replied, teeth bared. "Sheesh, Akire, I ain't dead yet!" Tasuki remarked weakly, before receiving a kick in the mouth.
Ikegai shook his head. "The youth of today are so rebellious! And since I anticipated your unwillingness, I have something for you, Akire." He took out a small bottle, grabbed Akire by the chin and forced her to drink it (half of the drink, of course, got spat onto his face). Wiping away the drink from his face with his sleeve, he said, "No matter, half will do the job." Akire, a few minutes later, found out what this means, as slowly but surely, her body became numb, though she can still be able to breathe. Barely having strength to speak, she mouthed something just foul enough to surpass the PG-rating of this story by a bit.
A cruel grin curled from Ikegai's lips as he watched the concoction take effect. When he made sure Akire can't do a thing, he untied her and carried her on his shoulder. "Bring the other one along," he commanded his other selves. "Hey, I have a name, you whacko!" Tasuki hollered, before being hoisted to his feet.
Tasuki's POV
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Hehe, oww! Hurts to think when you're gushing with blood, tied for an hour while dangling from the ground, then hittin' the floor afterwards. Ain't no picnic, that's for sure. Heck, the guy who did this to me isn't even one of those seryuu guys. Guess it's what you get when you deal with foreigners, you never know what they drag along. But then again that's exactly why I'm a Suzaku seishi right now.
Regrets, Tasuki, m'boy? Kinda too late for that now, kid. Better think of something fast before you get shoved into the big, fat pot roast. But what has Her Highness Akire done this whole time, anyway? Should've known what I was gettin' into in the first place. Ahh, 'least I ain't marryin' Ikegai.
Wonder what the crackpot's plannin' for me? Not often I think about how someone's gonna do me in. He gonna burry me alive? Trap me in ice? Tie me to a stake and feed me to the sharks? Cut off my body parts limb for limb? Poke my eyes out and let 'em bleed? Yuck. It'll probably be nicer if he just dropped me into a cauldron of fire. Nice n' quick.
H-how long are we gonna walk? Sheesh, you'd think that foreign executioners are gonna show ya a bit of pity before they chop of your 'ead. Far ahead, I see Akire dangling like a rag doll from Icky's shoulder, mouth half-open, pale complexion, but eyebrows slanted into a permanent frown. Tell you the truth, I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't feeling sorry for her right now. But anybody else finds out, I'd stuff a rock in my mouth an' deny it. "Faster, worm!" The Icky clone tells me. Faster, huh? I'll show him faster, right while I kick him in the groin, and that's exactly what I did. While he rolls on the ground in pain, clutching his you-know-what, his groupies gather round and tried to pound me. Heh, can't say they failed, but 'least they all won't try to have any kids in the near future when I was through with them.
And so at last I arrived in the wherever I'm supposed to die, all bloody n' bruised. They now tied my feet together, though it took 'em a while, considering I was kickin' and screamin' like the entire underworld broke loose. They now shoved me to the ground and one of 'em stepped on my head, so's I can see Icky.
Sure enough, he's there right in front of me, holding a torch. He shot one look at me, and then dropped the torch into this deep pit in front of him. He then ordered one of his minions to pull me to my feet. "I really, really, really HATE pyrokinetics," he said, though I had no idea what a pyrokineewhatchacallit is. "And so I built this pyre befitting someone with as lame and ordinary powers as you. Final words?"
"Yeah, if my powers are lame, what happened to your arm?" I snickered. I see his mouth twitch, just itching to give the command to push me into the flamin' pit. At least my guess came close. Ikegai said, "Well, I know you just cannot resist childish remarks, so I'm giving you a moment to choose your farewell speech carefully. Make sure, though, that Akire hears," here he points to Akire, lyin' on the ground mumbling something I bet she copied from me.
But, come to think of it, I guess I do have something to say. With my hands tied behind my back, I reached for my belt, and pulled out something I stuck between it. See, when we were bein' dragged to the dungeon, I woke up, and noticed somethin' shiny on the floor of the dungeon. Before the Icky guys hoisted me in chains, I slipped it into my belt. And the more I talked to Akire, the more I think it really belongs to her.
"Uh, Akire, you listening?" I looked at her, and I see the corner of her mouth slowly curving into a frown. She's probably thinkin', nitwit, I'm numb, not deaf. "uh, right, okay," I stuttered, clutching the Thing, "I know I've been a jerk for some time now, and I ain't sayin' I take it back, but there is one thing I wanna say sorry for." I wiggled my fingers, trying to wave the something for her to see. Looking at the recognition on her face, I said, "Well, guess I don't need to tell you, I found your Ring. Or took it." Hmm, is it just me, or is the look on Ikegai's face telling me he wants the ring too? Boy, sentimental value, yeah right. This ring must be worth a million.
(M. Quavers: For those people who just can't accept it, TO-BE-CONTINUED! Ah- ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
Disclaimer: I disclaim FY. Questions?
A/n: sorry if I misspelled a term or something, or get it wrong.
"Hmm, well, this is a pretty pickle." Akire woke up, and as expected, all tied up. Her chains were fastened to a rough wall inside her cell, which just looks like a miniature cave. In a similar cavern opposite her, Tasuki hung a foot or two from the ground, chains fastened to his arms and feet. Still powerless from her previous attempt to track Ikegai down, she deemed the time too early to use her powers again.
"Oh, good, the high and mighty Akire has awaken from her slumber," Tasuki said. His face as well as his nose is dripping with blood, though a crude bandage was wrapped around his wound. Safe to say he looked more messed up than Akire.
"Look, I don't need to hear this right now!" Akire screamed, her voice echoing in the dungeon. She tried standing up, but her chains were too short, and her effort caused her to jerk back and hit her head on the wall. "Hey, you're not the only one with the problem here, lady!" Tasuki retorted teeth clenched in anger and pain (it ain't no picnic tied up and hanging from the air after falling from a cliff). "The only reason I'm still alive is because your cuckoo ex-boyfriend wanted me squirming when he executes me, which I think is very, VERY SOON!" he continued.
Akire bit her lip, looking at his condition. "Look, Tasuki, I never asked for your help," she said softly. "And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sorry if I dragged you here in some way." Tasuki, after a minute of silence, calmed down a bit. A bit. "Boy, that Ikegai's brain's all messed up, huh?" he finally said.
"It's gone to pot, that's what it is," Akire laughed, finally relieved they weren't going to do another scream fest in the least likely of places.
"How'd you end up with a guy like that?" he asked. Akire shook her head and said, "Believe me, if a guy tried to do what he did to me now, I'd stick my fist in his craw!" She balled up her fist to stress her point, and then came a wave of heart-rending shock. The ring is gone! She tried looking over her shoulder to see for herself, and found that all that's left of her ring was the indentation it made on her finger.
"I lost my ring, THE ring," she whimpered, thinking that Ikegai took it. Tasuki, after wiping some blood off his face with his shoulder, said, "You worry about jewelry in a place like this? All you women are bonkers. What's so important about it?" Still unable to tell the truth, she replied, "It, it has sentimental value."
Tasuki smiled maliciously and said, "What, did Hotohori give it to you?" Akire narrowed her eyes and said, "What do you mean?" Tasuki flashed that toothy grin of his, saying, "Oh, don't you try to hide it, missy, I bet you have a thing for him!" Akire's jaw dropped, and she said, "Hey, I treat him with respect. R-E-S-P- E-C-T, Tasuki, not infatuation. A few smiles here and there don't count as 'a thing'. Unless," she continued, this time having the same spiteful smirk, "you're basing it on personal experience. Tell me, do YOU feel that way for Miaka?"
"NO!"
"Aw, c'mon, fang boy, I see the way you stare at her!"
"Stare at her? Maybe 'cause starin' at someone when you talk to her isn't a crime!"
"You sure?"
"Hey, I ain't the one in love with an aristocrat!"
"What's wrong with that? I mean, I'm not in love with Hotohori! Maybe you are in love with, with, with NURIKO!"
Tasuki's eyes widened, and then closed tight, as he stuck out his tongue and grimaced. "You realize what you're saying, Akire?"
"What? She doesn't look bad at all!" Akire replied.
"Eh, she?" Tasuki said, "heh, when we get outta this mess, I'm gonna havta clear up a coupla things for you." Akire smiled, admiring his optimism and said, "If, no, when we get out of here, I won't be bothering you again, and you stop with the Hotohori cracks. So, truce?"
The seishi replied (after spitting out a tooth that got loose), "Ah, what the hell, why not? But don't bring up the Nuriko thing, you hear? You'll give me nightmares!" Akire said, "I still don't get why Nuriko seems so loathsome to you. Am I the only one who thinks she isn't that bad?"
Shaking his chains, Tasuki tried again to see if his hand slips through the manacle, but it's just too tight. "I feel like my arms are gonna fall off, Akire, any bright ideas?"
"I have a few! Why don't I execute you in, oh, say 30 minutes, and it'll end your suffering?" a voice said. Craning their necks, Akire and Tasuki saw Ikegai with 9 more replicates of himself standing at the entrance. "After, of course, I get married to Akire! If I execute you earlier, that would ruin the atmosphere!" Ikegai continued.
"YOU ARE SICK!" Akire spat. Ikegai frowned at the remark, and summoned two of his replicates. "You know what to do," he said. To Akire's horror, the two servants took hold of Tasuki's chains, hoisted him a few feet higher, and then releasing the chains. "Just a little incentive, Akire," Ikegai beamed. "It won't matter, you'll kill him either way," she replied, teeth bared. "Sheesh, Akire, I ain't dead yet!" Tasuki remarked weakly, before receiving a kick in the mouth.
Ikegai shook his head. "The youth of today are so rebellious! And since I anticipated your unwillingness, I have something for you, Akire." He took out a small bottle, grabbed Akire by the chin and forced her to drink it (half of the drink, of course, got spat onto his face). Wiping away the drink from his face with his sleeve, he said, "No matter, half will do the job." Akire, a few minutes later, found out what this means, as slowly but surely, her body became numb, though she can still be able to breathe. Barely having strength to speak, she mouthed something just foul enough to surpass the PG-rating of this story by a bit.
A cruel grin curled from Ikegai's lips as he watched the concoction take effect. When he made sure Akire can't do a thing, he untied her and carried her on his shoulder. "Bring the other one along," he commanded his other selves. "Hey, I have a name, you whacko!" Tasuki hollered, before being hoisted to his feet.
Tasuki's POV
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
Hehe, oww! Hurts to think when you're gushing with blood, tied for an hour while dangling from the ground, then hittin' the floor afterwards. Ain't no picnic, that's for sure. Heck, the guy who did this to me isn't even one of those seryuu guys. Guess it's what you get when you deal with foreigners, you never know what they drag along. But then again that's exactly why I'm a Suzaku seishi right now.
Regrets, Tasuki, m'boy? Kinda too late for that now, kid. Better think of something fast before you get shoved into the big, fat pot roast. But what has Her Highness Akire done this whole time, anyway? Should've known what I was gettin' into in the first place. Ahh, 'least I ain't marryin' Ikegai.
Wonder what the crackpot's plannin' for me? Not often I think about how someone's gonna do me in. He gonna burry me alive? Trap me in ice? Tie me to a stake and feed me to the sharks? Cut off my body parts limb for limb? Poke my eyes out and let 'em bleed? Yuck. It'll probably be nicer if he just dropped me into a cauldron of fire. Nice n' quick.
H-how long are we gonna walk? Sheesh, you'd think that foreign executioners are gonna show ya a bit of pity before they chop of your 'ead. Far ahead, I see Akire dangling like a rag doll from Icky's shoulder, mouth half-open, pale complexion, but eyebrows slanted into a permanent frown. Tell you the truth, I'd be lyin' if I said I wasn't feeling sorry for her right now. But anybody else finds out, I'd stuff a rock in my mouth an' deny it. "Faster, worm!" The Icky clone tells me. Faster, huh? I'll show him faster, right while I kick him in the groin, and that's exactly what I did. While he rolls on the ground in pain, clutching his you-know-what, his groupies gather round and tried to pound me. Heh, can't say they failed, but 'least they all won't try to have any kids in the near future when I was through with them.
And so at last I arrived in the wherever I'm supposed to die, all bloody n' bruised. They now tied my feet together, though it took 'em a while, considering I was kickin' and screamin' like the entire underworld broke loose. They now shoved me to the ground and one of 'em stepped on my head, so's I can see Icky.
Sure enough, he's there right in front of me, holding a torch. He shot one look at me, and then dropped the torch into this deep pit in front of him. He then ordered one of his minions to pull me to my feet. "I really, really, really HATE pyrokinetics," he said, though I had no idea what a pyrokineewhatchacallit is. "And so I built this pyre befitting someone with as lame and ordinary powers as you. Final words?"
"Yeah, if my powers are lame, what happened to your arm?" I snickered. I see his mouth twitch, just itching to give the command to push me into the flamin' pit. At least my guess came close. Ikegai said, "Well, I know you just cannot resist childish remarks, so I'm giving you a moment to choose your farewell speech carefully. Make sure, though, that Akire hears," here he points to Akire, lyin' on the ground mumbling something I bet she copied from me.
But, come to think of it, I guess I do have something to say. With my hands tied behind my back, I reached for my belt, and pulled out something I stuck between it. See, when we were bein' dragged to the dungeon, I woke up, and noticed somethin' shiny on the floor of the dungeon. Before the Icky guys hoisted me in chains, I slipped it into my belt. And the more I talked to Akire, the more I think it really belongs to her.
"Uh, Akire, you listening?" I looked at her, and I see the corner of her mouth slowly curving into a frown. She's probably thinkin', nitwit, I'm numb, not deaf. "uh, right, okay," I stuttered, clutching the Thing, "I know I've been a jerk for some time now, and I ain't sayin' I take it back, but there is one thing I wanna say sorry for." I wiggled my fingers, trying to wave the something for her to see. Looking at the recognition on her face, I said, "Well, guess I don't need to tell you, I found your Ring. Or took it." Hmm, is it just me, or is the look on Ikegai's face telling me he wants the ring too? Boy, sentimental value, yeah right. This ring must be worth a million.
(M. Quavers: For those people who just can't accept it, TO-BE-CONTINUED! Ah- ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)