A/N This is my first fic. Please be kind.
Disclaimer : I own nothing.Wish I did, but I don't.
« Here we are. We don't have to do this you know. We can get back in the truck and drive home. The lunacy of our town might be preferrable to Emily Gilmore when she's at her best. Or worst, depending on your perspective. We could also... »
« You're rambling », Luke interrupted.
« She brings that out in me. At least we've got a two-against-one scenario going here. You can, and will, be my buffer », Lorelai warned him, shaking her index finger at him.
Luke grabbed the finger to get her to stop fidgeting. « Will you calm down! She's your mother, she is not out to get you! »
Lorelai rang the doorbell. « Don't say I didn't warn you. Wait until I say something inappropriate... »
« ...you always do... »
« ...and she goes into her well-rehearsed and often-performed speach about Lorelai, the big dissapointment, the embarassment, the evil...Mom, hi! » Lorelai smiled quickly as Emily opened the door.
« Lorelai! And you've brought your friend from the diner! Luke, isn't it? » Emily lead them inside and motioned for the maid. « Greta, come take my guests' coats », and then, softly « I swear, it's getting harder and harder to find good help . You constantly have to give them directions!»
Greta relieved Luke and Lorelai of their coats.
« Thank you, Greta. I'm Luke Danes, nice to meet you,» he stuck out his hand, then lowered it when he caught sight of Emily's incredulous stare.
Whoa, Lorelai thought, better diffuse the tension.
« Hey, I've seen Greta before! I was ten and just got back from camp...I can't believe it's finally happened! Emily Gilmore has exhausted the entire world's supply of maids. She has now come full circle and must hire one's she's previously fired. It's a wonder that they even want to come back here. The pay must be fabulous!»
Emily arched an eyebrow. « Are you done? »
Lorelai put on a serious face. « Yes »
« Because you're thinking of Annabelle. She was of similar height and weight. We had to let her go because she was a little too fond of your father's gin. So Lorelai, how have you been? » Emily turned and led the way into the parlor, glancing over her shoulder as she went.
« Same as I was this morning when you called to ask exactly the same question. Re-hiring maids, asking the same question over and over...Mom, have you finally gone loopy? » Lorelai sat on the couch and motioned for Luke to join her.
« That's a fine way to talk to your mother, but then again, it's what I expect of you. What would you like to drink? Luke, can I offer you anything? We have white wine, gin, soda... »
Luke hesitated, and Lorelai took pity on him. « How 'bout a beer, Mom? »
« No that's ok, I'll have a soda. »
Lorelai looked at him strangely, then shrugged. « Ok, make it two glasses of carbonated water, artificial flavoring and a really unhealthy dose of refined sugar. With a twist of lime please » She fluttered her eye-lashes at Luke.
Emily glanced back and forth between Lorelai and Luke, comprehension dawning on her face. « Lorelai, is there something you want to tell me? »
«Well, uh, actually...see the thing is... »
Emily's face fell. « Oh, Lorelai, not again! I should have guessed the moment you ordered a non-alcoholic beverage. Or maybe when I opened the door and saw you with a man. You're pregnant! How could you do this again! I thought that if you were to have a second child, you would have the decency to do it in wedlock this time. I'll be the talk of the DAR again. I can hear them now, saying that I can't control my own daughter, that I'm a failure as a mother. Lorelai, answer me! How could you do this? »
« Whoa, Mom, take a chill pill and step down from the conclusion you've just jumped to! I am not pregnant! » The situation was so ludicrous that Lorelai tried to stifle a giggle. Tried being the operative word; it escaped, and Emily wasted no time in noticing.
« You're laughing at me! Really, Lorelai, you should be ashamed of yourself, you almost gave me a heart attack! » To prove her point, Emily placed her hand over her heart and took a deep breath. She stood like that for a moment, as if in a trance, and then her gaze sharpened on Lorelai once more. « You've eloped! How could you exclude your own mother from your wedding? You're my only daughter, I've been waiting for this moment since the debutante ball you ruined twenty years ago. »
« Mom, take a look at my left hand. You know me well enough to know that if I were married, I'd insist on some serious bling! » Lorelai held up her left hand, devoid of rings, for Emily's inspection.
« Good to know, » Luke muttered under his breath. « I'll put the diner up for sale in the morning. Wouldn't want you to be bling-less.»
Lorelai turned to face Luke on the couch. « Shush, you. You so can't pull off the hip-hop lingo» She got up and went to stand next to Emily. « Mom, how could you say that? I would never do that to you! »
« Lorelai, I found out you were in labor from a note you left as an afterthought. Sookie is the one who told me you were engaged to marry some man I had never met. I discovered you were dating Digger Stiles, of all people, from his parents. You have never in your thirty-six years as my daughter felt it necessary to share any of your important, life-altering, happenings with me. Whatever this thing you have to tell me is, I'm sure I've already read about it in the papers. » Emily turned away from Lorelai.
Exasperated, Lorelai turned to Luke, who was still on the couch, looking at his shoes and desperately wishing he was somewhere, anywhere, else. After failing to make eye-contact with him, she grabbed Emily's arm gently and forced her to face her. « Well, see Mom, there'a a first time for everything. I came here tonight, with Luke, because I wanted you to find out from me that we're dating. I didn't want you to find out from Sookie, Michel, Rory, Greta, or anyone who could reach you before me. I wanted to tell you first. I thought you'd be pleased. »
« Oh, well that very kind of you. Shall we proceed to the dining room? I don't want the salad to wilt. »
With that, Emily left the room, leaving Lorelai and Luke staring after her.
« You know, that didn't go quite as I expected. I figured the fireworks would be after I told her, not before. She really loves to keep me on my toes. » Lorelai shook her head in amazement.
Luke put his arm around her. «Give her time. Maybe we'll get a reaction out of her by desert. If anything, I'm convinced you can nag it out of her. » He pulled her to her feet and let her lead the way to the dining room.
« Luke, you're such the optimist! Hold that thought, you're going to need it for when we tell my father. »