The Twelve Days of Christmas

Lieutenant Yuugi Motou frowned as he looked at the piece of fudge in his hand. The caretaker of the large cabin they were staying at, some fellow human by the name of Ryou, it seemed, had been the one to make the holiday treat. Everyone felt obliged to eat a piece, along with the fact that they tasted exceedingly well, because of the threats that went along with the aforementioned fudge.

You see, the caretaker's spouse Bakura had mentioned that if someone didn't eat the fudge and hurt Ryou's feelings, heads were going to roll.

Captain Ishtar had scowled, but eaten a piece anyway.

Yuugi downed the rest of the chocolate substance, wishing that he were basking in the rays of a warm tropical sun, secluded from all contact.

He heard one of the Aldars' sigh at the snow falling outside of the window.

"Such an odd thing Earth has. Did you know this? Wondrous and yet so cold."

Lieutenant Motou winced as he heard Malik speak in that strange, aloof haze of his. These people seemed to have no end to their dense mind-frames. Seto said that they were too trusting. Not to mention the fact that they almost always pointed out the obvious, and had no sense of sarcasm.

"Oh, yes Malik. Very wondrous. Just wait till you meet a Timber wolf out in that wondrous cold."

The blonde captain was silent for a moment. "That sounds truly exciting!"

Yuugi collapsed on the couch. He gave up.

"Motou! Move it! Outside with you!"

Yuugi sat up and glared at his captain. "Aye, aye, sir. What's on the mission schedule for vacation today?"

Ishtar's steely purple eyes narrowed. "Don't you give me lip. We're going to acquaint the Aldars to the snow. Now get up and prepare for battle!"

Yuugi groaned. Not a snowball fight.

He saw Yami look over at Malik. "Give lip?"

Yuugi needed a wall to hit his head against. He was coming to find out that he had very little patience these days with people who didn't seem to know too much. It wasn't exactly lip he was giving, just a highly annoyed tone to his response.

He looked over at Jou rubbing his hands together. The Elsarian walked up to his closest friend with an insane look of glee in his eyes. "Come on," he whispered, "let's get revenge on the captain."

Yuugi saw Malik look back at Yami. "Battle?"

"I'm not going, captain," Ensign Kaiba spoke up. "I have no use for your silly human games out in the snow."

"Oh come on, Kaiba. It's not that bad. You can make yourself an igloo!" Jou spoke up.

Seto's left eyebrow went to his hairline. "Pardon?"

"It's a little house made of ice. It has a little hole in the top, so you can have a fire, and it's quiet. Perfect for…ah…meditation!"

Steel blue eyes studied the Ensign for a moment. "Fine." He grabbed his coat, now seemingly eager to get out of the cabin.

Malik walked up to Ishtar. "Battle? What is going on?"

The blonde captain was wrapping a scarf around his neck, opening the front door and allowing the cold breeze to filter through. Much to their own luck-as Ishtar had so politely put it-the upper half of Minnesota had received in excess of almost thirty inches of snow in a total of three days. The only mode of transportation they had was by way of snowmobile, and there were only three of them. There were eight people at the cabin total, including the two caretakers.

It was, after all, a rather large retreat nestled in the heart of Minnesota wilderness. Two stories, the first level for food and recreation, the upper level for bedrooms and bathing facilities.

But although it was large, when inside Yuugi felt right back on the star ship, sitting on uniform furniture and rooms complete with automatic sliding doors.

"Battle," Ishtar grinned, his Ensign and Lieutenant now ready to go out the door themselves. "We're talking about a massive snowball fight."

~ * ~

Yuugi crouched down next to his large pile of snowballs he'd just finished creating, an evil grin smothered on his face. Jou had one that was similar to his, making the third person on their team, Yami, quite nervous.

"You two look troubled," he stated.

"Quite possibly," Yuugi grinned. "Revenge on a grouchy captain is ever so sweet…"

Yami's eyes grew wide all of the sudden. "Mutiny?"

"We wish," Jou growled, smoothing out the ball of fluff in his hands with infinite care. "But the rest of the NASA administration would kill us if we were ever caught."

"Sounds rather vulgar," the Aldar replied. He was beginning to wonder if, perhaps, these human people truly were as crazy as the rest of his colleagues had mentioned back home. And did they corrupt the other species they came in contact with?

"You'll have to realize that a lot of what humans say they don't really mean. It's mostly wishful thinking or simply a way to express their aggravation," Yuugi explained, eyeing Seto across the field behind his own defense wall, working on his snowballs to defend his new igloo.

"Some species it's innately inside of them," Jou started. "It's a precious little thing we call sarcasm. I think that we've been rubbing off on the Vulcan over there, too." He motioned over to Ensign Kaiba.

The Aldar Lieutenant rounded yet another perfect ball in his lithe hands. "You people in this sect of the universe sure are strange."

"Amen," Yuugi commented, steadying himself. He sat up a little straighter. "Ready," he grabbed a snowball. "On one…" Jou took one in each hand. "Two…" Yami looked rather nervous, holding one in his hand with uncertainty. "Three!"

They pummeled the opposing team with a dire accuracy.

"Motou! You worm! You're going to pay for this!" Ishtar started throwing his pile of not quite finished snowballs like a machine gun. Yuugi laughed in a small victory, hiding behind his wall of snow. "You're dead captain! Not even you have been able to defeat my battle tactics in the training room or out in the field!" A snowball landed on Seto's head, and Malik actually started to laugh.

The Vulcan growled. "Eat snow!"

Jou clutched his sides, trying hard not to crack as he starred at his comrade's snow-covered face, his skin slowly starting to turn red under the cold.

War broke loose. There were so many snowballs Yami couldn't even keep track anymore. If he did remember correctly, Yuugi took but a mere two hits, Jou a surprising eleven, and the other team was simply demolished, in snowball-fight-battle-criteria. Malik took fourteen hits, a particularly nasty one to his rear-end, Seto an amazing nineteen, and Ishtar himself carrying an impressive thirty hits in his snow-covered hair.

Fresh out of snowballs and tired and cold, they all collapsed on the ground, looking at their handy work. The front yard of the cabin retreat was a total mess, the front becoming lost amidst the white background with its white covered wall.

Yuugi looked back at his team mates in accomplishment. "And that is what you call a good victory." His gaze suddenly found Yami who was devoid of almost any snow. "Didn't you get any hits?"

The Aldar looked at himself with his vivid crimson eyes. "I suppose not."

"Oh, that's not right," Jou began.

Yami noticed Yuugi pushing more snow together next to him. "Y-you…you wouldn't…"

"No one is going in tonight without getting at least a little wet…" Yuugi shifted position slightly to be able to spring at any moment.

"But…I was on your team!" Yami tried to reason, suddenly feeling betrayed.

"What do you say, Jou…does a white-wash seem to be in order?"

Yami looked confused, not liking the sound of whatever a 'whitewash' was.

"You get his arms, I'll keep a hold of his legs."

Yami jumped up to run, finding himself suddenly crushed into the white ground beneath him, immobilized. "Captain…help!"

Malik lazily walked over, looking at his Lieutenant as Ishtar stood beside him. Seto was now hiding in his new igloo, allowing his snow to melt off of himself with the small fire he'd made inside. "No hits. Doesn't seem very fair, does it Captain Ishtar?"

Ishtar frowned. "No, although seeing my own men turn against a team mate is a little unsettling." He shrugged. "Oh well. I'd probably do the same anyway."

Yami looked abandoned as he starred up at his captain. Malik felt bad for a moment, but didn't have too much time to dwell on that feeling as he was suddenly filled with surprise as Yami cried out loudly.

"That's cold!"

Yuugi laughed as he continued to shove more snow down Yami's jacket. "That's sort of the point!" He washed a bit of snow through the Aldar's ebony black hair.

"Captain help me!" He struggled to get up, but the two on top of him held firm.

Ishtar laughed.

Yuugi did one last final thing, which was probably a dirty trick, but he dropped a few dozen clumps of snow down Yami's pants.

The Aldar was huffing when he was finally aloud to sit up, shivering with the cold he had now been entirely exposed to. "That.." he began.. "was mean."

Yuugi laughed, he and Jou giving each other a high five.

"Lieutenant," Malik started.

Yami glared at him. "Traitor."

"Turn about is fair play," Malik said.

Lieutenant Motou's deep purple eyes became as wide as saucers when he saw Yami rocketing his way, latching on to him and stuffing snow down his coat. Yami seemed to be having an easier time with Yuugi, being that he was, indeed, a bit bigger than the human beneath him.

"All right, all right! I give!" Yuugi wailed. He remembered back to his child-hood when his grandfather would come in and stuff a snowball in his spiky hair, laughing good-naturedly.

"Never trust you for interrogation," Ishtar muttered.

Yami laughed, sitting up and offering Yuugi a hand. The Lieutenant began to take it, wanting to get up and go inside to get warm. Taking off his sopping wet glove, Yuugi reached up his hand. Yami did likewise, also knowing that now was the time to go in.

Just as their skin made contact, Yami yelped, jumping away before Yuugi could blink.

The Aldar stood shaking for a moment, looking as if he were confused. Shaking his head, he rushed back into the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

Yuugi blinked in shock. "What was that all about?"

Malik looked troubled. "Oh, dear. I'd better go and talk to him. I'm not sure."

Ishtar shrugged, thinking that perhaps Yami had been pushed too far.

~ * ~

Yuugi stood at the stove, grumbling about having to cook dinner tonight. Lucky for them, there was no food replicator, and all things had to be made from scratch. Of course, Idaho Spuds probably wasn't exactly scratch, but it was as close to home-made food as Yuugi was going to make.

He finished stirring the packaged gravy, pouring it over the mashed potatoes and biscuits he had set up on each plate. Yami had been rather quiet all evening, and Malik was only confiding with Ishtar about what was going on. Yuugi still wasn't sure what exactly had gone wrong that afternoon. Had he gone too far with the whitewash? Yami had laughed, hadn't he?

Too weird.

"Dinner!" he called, placing the plates at the large table in the dining room as people began to sit down.

Ensign Kaiba plopped himself in a chair, looking at the plate that Yuugi set before him. "No vegetables? No fruit? Roasted beef? What is this, liquid fat day?"

"Damn straight," Yuugi snapped. "And don't question the cooking preference of a superior officer. If you want different food, you go cook it yourself."

Kaiba frowned hard, but began eating anyway. He sooo hated how Yuugi was, indeed, a superior officer.

He got the plates for Malik, Jou, and Ishtar once they sat down.

Only two left. Himself and Yami. Grabbing the two plates off the counter in the kitchen, Yuugi made his way back into the dining room one last time to begin his meal.

Yami was at his seat, looking much like he had before the snowball fight. Everything appeared to be fine. Coming up behind him, Yuugi leaned over and put the plate down, his arm brushing past Yami's shoulder.

The Aldar Lieutenant yelled again, jumping up as he knocked his chair over, then scurrying out of the room.

Yuugi looked back at Malik. "Well, might I inquire as to what's wrong with him?"

Malik frowned. "I'll be right back." He got up and went left the room.

Frowning, the Lieutenant sat down and glared at his captain. "Well? Will you tell us what's going on? I know that he's told you."

Ishtar scowled. "It's not my place to say. Quiet and eat your meal."

Confused and highly annoyed, Lieutenant Motou began to consume his food.

Five minutes later Captain Malik walked back into the dining room looking extremely upset about something. He held his hands together in front of himself in subtle anxiety.

Retaking his seat, he looked around at the rest of the table. "It's about time that I explained to all of you what is going on with my Lieutenant."

The table was silent. Malik took a breath. "As I am sure all of you can probably guess, such behavior in an Aldar is unheard of, except…"

"Except," Yuugi pressed.

Malik sighed. "Except when an Aldar enters their mating period."

Ensign Kaiba sat up abruptly. "You brought your Lieutenant along when he was about to go into his mating period?!"

Jou looked from Seto to Yuugi in confusion, wondering if his friend knew what was going on. Yuugi shrugged in confusion.

Malik vigorously shook his head. "No, of course not! He wasn't due for another six months!" His eyes looked pleading. "As I'm sure some of you know, the Vulcans too have a mating period, where every so many years the chemical levels in their body change drastically. Aldars are very similar in this area. We have to keep careful track of our individual mating periods. However, unlike the Vulcans, we Aldars don't have an antidote to stop this rather violent part of our anatomy."

Yuugi wondered why Malik used the word 'violent.'

Malik looked almost desperate now. "My scans of my Lieutenant have shown that his body chemical levels are indeed at the mating period highs. He has somehow been thrown into it prematurely. If he doesn't mate with another individual, he will be dead by morning."

Yuugi was left stunned at what he heard. Jou's mouth had gone slack. Ishtar was unreadable, and Seto looked sympathetic.

"What…what are we going to do," Jou wondered. Yuugi too was rather worried.

Captain Ishtar pushed his plate back. "Motou, you're up."

Yuugi was silent for a moment before he could bring himself to speak. "Excuse me?! Me? Why the hell do I get picked?"

"Mind your tongue!" Ishtar snapped. "You're the only other Lieutenant in a three-hundred mile radius. I will not have other ranks fraternizing, even if we're on vacation. Especially if we're on vacation. Get going."

It felt as if the air had been sucked out of Lieutenant Motou's lungs. His captain had to be going insane.

You call that fraternizing!!??

"If it helps at all, I have heard that you Humans have a very high stamina, especially in this…ah…department," Malik tried to console.

Kaiba snorted as he fought back a grin, and Jou almost choked on his potatoes.

"Lieutenant Tiyaku has already been detained in his room," Malik stated.

Yuugi's eyebrows went to his hairline. Detained? The gears in his head began to turn.

… Violent… Detained… High stamina…

Oh, Kami-samma, what was he in for?

Yuugi looked over at his captain, lavender eyes clearly stating- be responsible for the death of an Aldar, and I'll be responsible for the death of one of my crew…

This Christmas just seemed to be getting better and better.

~ * ~

Heheheheh, boy this took a while. It's okay though, now it will get more fun. Hope you enjoy what to come….. you'll see what I mean by a rather…frightening…experience in the future.