The Twelve Days of Christmas

Yuugi heaved in a shaky breath as he stood in front of Lieutenant Tiyaku's door. Captain Malik had given him the five-digit pass code to open the door. He was told that he'd have a total of five second to walk inside before the door quickly shut again.

He still couldn't believe that he was going to go through with this. Ishtar not only threatened to kill him if he didn't, but Lieutenant Motou had a feeling it was a hearty promise, swearing that he saw Ishtar cleaning some rather large pieces of metal in his own bedroom whilst on his way to Yami's room.

Perhaps he was being a bit paranoid. After all, what all could possibly happen? Surely Yami wouldn't have the force to actually, say, crush his pelvis bone, could he? Would his captain put him in that much danger?

…Knowing Ishtar, Yuugi had a feeling he would, which only helped to heighten his growing panic.

Just breathe, Motou. You'll get through this. It's just one night. After all, who was the one saying 'sex god!' when you first laid eyes on him?

Yuugi scowled at his own thoughts. Yeah, right. Like I expected to get in his pants this way. 'If you don't have sex with him, he'll die. No way around it.' Yeah, that sounds exciting.

Cursing Aldar habits for the umpteenth time that night, Yuugi extended a not-so-steady hand over to the number panel placed in the wall next to the door.

…6…3…9…3…6

He winced as he looked at the encrypted code in the numbers. '696969' was the famous number sequence for, as his friend Honda always called it, 'mattress dancing' or 'getting it on!' Not to mention the fact that both numbers were divisible by three.

If that wasn't an omen of some sort, he didn't know what was.

With a small puff of air, the door slid soundlessly into the wall, allowing him quick entrance.

Yuugi forced himself just inside of the door, slowly counting in his head. 1…2…3…4…5…

Whoosh! The door closed just as quickly.

The Lieutenant looked around at the room, noticing that it was quite dark. Maybe just as well. Gods know what he might see were the lights turned on. He looked around, waiting for his pupils to dilate enough to allow him to see.

Before he had time to wonder where on earth Yami actually was, he found his back thrust up against the door, a hot mouth tasting of honey and rum and exotic spices and a little something he couldn't quite place firmly latched onto his own. He suddenly understood the term 'tonsil hockey,' as Yami started to memorize his every crevice.

Well, suppose that he wasn't going to have to wonder about formalities at all. Yami didn't even seem coherent.

Well, that would explain why he had to be detained.

A knee wedged its way between Yuugi's legs, and he suddenly realized that he was not, by any means, going to get the upper hand tonight.

Still dealing the earthen Lieutenant a bruising kiss, Yami's hands searched around Yuugi's body, finding his left hand pushed back against the door. Yuugi swore that he was going to have a bruise on his back come morning, with how hard he was being pushed.

Taking Yuugi's hand, Yami placed it firmly on his neck, adjusting his head slightly to allow for more space. Yuugi thought that perhaps Yami wanted him to partake as well.

Might as well make the most out of the evening that I can…

Yuugi ran his hand down Yami's neck, stopping at the collar as he began to fiddle with the buttons.

Yami growled into the kiss, placing Yuugi's hand right back on the Aldar's neck.

He's got a thing with the neck? Some sort of Aldar erogenous place? I can deal with that.

Desperately needing a chance to breathe, Yuugi pulled his head sharply back and off to the side, instead choosing to give Yami a small hickey. Of course, the moment his lips touched Yami's neck, the Aldar gave out a guttural moan, pulling Yuugi away from the door and landing on top of him harshly on the floor.

Yuugi had never seen anyone remove clothes as fast as that before. Some sort of new record he was going to have to write down someday.

Yami squeezed hard around Yuugi's bare rib-cage as he began to settle himself down, making for another sore spot that Yuugi was going to have to be careful about once morning came around.

That is… if it ever came around…

~ * ~

Ishtar sat in one of the couches in the overly-large living room, silent and contemplative. For a flittering moment he wondered just how Yuugi was fairing with an Aldar that was currently beyond all logic.

And this was really rare, considering the Aldars were practically comprised of logic.

Malik was also silent, seated in a recliner with a mug of hot-cocoa.

"You don't think that Yami will actually hurt my Lieutenant, do you?"

Malik looked up from his contemplating, a small amount of worry still etched in his pale lavender eyes. "I…I do not believe so. Not severely, at any rate. Aldars of the past have been known to kill a partner while mating, but it is usually only the females who do such things, and there has not been a recorded case of such actions in over three hundred years." He shook his head. "I am just not entirely sure how he could have possibly been thrown into his mating period so early. If anything it might occur a couple of weeks early, which is why we allow for it in our scheduling methods. And we've never mated outside of our species before…I'm not entirely sure what is going to happen."

Ishtar raised an eloquent eyebrow. "So their gender is no issue?"

Malik looked up confused. "Why would it be? Do not people of your race mate in the same fashion?"

Ishtar sat forward just lightly. "Well, it's typically male-female relations, there are many that still frown on same-sex relations."

Again, the Aldar captain did not seem to follow. "Our people may mate with any gender they choose. No matches are frowned upon, but only conception may happen between a male-female relation. It is the same with you?"

Ishtar merely nodded.

A muffled moan filtered down into the living room. Yami's room, apparently, was placed directly on top of the living room.

Then came the first pound.

Ishtar mused to himself. "Well, it sounds like their making progress up there."

Malik looked skeptical, casting a wary eye upward.

Pound…pound…

"Oh dear," he frowned, wondering just who might be on the receiving end of those pounds.

Seto bounded down the stairs looking violated. Ishtar looked at him, simply waiting for a response.

The Ensign noticed the frown, noting that if he said anything, Ishtar was going to fry his rear end with barbecue sauce. "I'm going out to my igloo."

Grabbing the nearest coat off the rack, he opened the front door. Another moan from upstairs.

"I'm going with you!" Jou leaped down the stairs two at a time, grabbing a jacket too.

"Oh no you're not!" Seto snarled.

Pound…pound…pound…

Both ran out the door in a blind fury.

Malik had a pillow over his ears. Ishtar was struggling to block out the noise. If he had any sense, he knew Yuugi was going to probably kill him in the morning, if he could still move.

Suddenly, a head of white hair bolted into the living room, a small male looking panicked coming into view.

"What's going on, these walls are supposed to be nearly sound proof!" Ishtar looked up at Ryou's wild brown eyes.

"Don't panic. Just some interstellar business being attended to."

Ryou noted that the other one's face, the kinder looking twin, was beat red under the pillow. He muttered to himself. "Damned space freaks. If Bakura hears this he's going to scream about the repair costs…if that lamp up there goes…"

Crash! Pound…pound…pound…

Shuttering, he walked back to his end of the cabin, praying that his partner was still sound asleep. Hey, he had slept during the earthquake that knocked half of California into the ocean, right?

Yes, but it's funny how he sleeps through the deaths of millions of people, but if one person cracks open a can of his beer they'll find their neck snapped in five seconds flat…

Pound…pound…pound…

Did Ishtar just hear Yuugi scream? Already?

"Why do not we go stargazing for a moment, captain Ishtar?" Malik tried a feeble attempt to leave the cabin for a little while.

"Yeah, good idea."

"Gaah!"

The door was closed faster than Malik could blink.

~ * ~

The Captain stood outside of the door, shifting uncomfortably. According to his timing, the two had been at it for almost an hour. Still, they waited another twenty minutes after the silence had started to make sure they weren't intruding, for Jou had a very good point. They might want to see if Yuugi needed any medical attention before they got to bed that evening.

"You open it," Ishtar said to Malik.

"Oh no, please, be my guest," he said with genuine sincerity. Ishtar saw right through it.

"You're the one with the over-right code."

Malik frowned, punching numbers with a wobbly hand.

The door slid obediently open, revealing a dark room. Shards of glass were strewn about the floor. Clothes were left forgotten in multiple heaps across the room. The curtains had been ripped down, and there were more stains on the carpet than Ishtar or Malik cared to notice. In the light shining in from the hall, two forms were revealed slumped on the carpet in front of the bed, two heads of spiky hair not giving away who was on top and who was on bottom.

Ishtar walked cautiously in. He may be an obnoxious man, but he wasn't stupid.

Yuugi was lying on his back, eyes closed, with a snoozing Yami curled up on top of him for a good night's sleep.

"Motou, wake up." He nudged his Lieutenant with the toe of his shoe.

One purple eye was pried half-way open, barely reveling the tired and blood-shot state it was in. "What," he half snarled, half choked, voice hoarse from screaming.

"You alive?"

"No."

"Ah, good."

Malik looked hesitant. "How are you doing, Lieutenant?"

Despite the fact that I just had the best sex of my life? Yuugi didn't even bother to roll his eye upward to gaze at his questioner. "My back hurts, my hips hurt, my ass if chaffing, my abdomen hurts, my legs hurt, and I'm going to sleep for the next eight years. Other than that? Peachy-fucking-keen."

Ishtar chose this time to not correct his Lieutenant.

Malik clapped his hands together quietly. "Oh good, I am glad to hear it!"

Yuugi didn't bother to suppress his groan this time at the Aldar's seemingly endless pool of stupidity.

"It might be a good idea to not get up before Yami does, Lieutenant. Aldars have been known to go mad before when they wake up to find their mating partner missing," Malik spoke up.

"Captain Malik, I am not moving for a long, long time." His one eye closed, and Yuugi had a strong feeling that he wasn't going to get it back open any time soon.

"If you don't leave now, I will personally kill you, then spend the rest of my life dancing on your grave the moment I can actually move again."

The two captains began to shuffle out of the room.

"Ishtar," Yuugi growled, Yami still asleep on top of him.

"What," Ishtar asked.

"You. Owe. Me. Big."

Ishtar gave a feeble grin that Yuugi couldn't see as he allowed the door to close for the rest of the night.

~ * ~

*Cackles* Poor, poor Yuugi. How could it get any worse than this? *chuckles* Just wait for the following chapters to come, our little Lieutenant is in for more trouble than he bargained for…