Author's Note: I'm assuming that Buri married Raoul (LK timeframe) in her late thirties, and that in Tortall people's lives, and women's childbearing years, are shorter than today.
Some may find this out of character for someone so exuberant as Buri. I propose, however, that even the K'miri warrior is emotionally invested in the prospects of family and motherhood.
Alanna, Raoul and Buri belong to Tamora Pierce; the interaction that follows is mine.
Remains
"I'm sorry," Alanna said quietly. She sat next to the cot, taking one of Buri's hands in hers.
Buri bit her lip. "Don't be," she said. "I know it was too much to hope for, at my age."
"That doesn't stop it from hurting, I wouldn't think." The Lioness spoke gently, but with conviction.
Buri opened her mouth and then closed it against the words as laughter rose in her memory, a whirl of happy days she could not only look on with the bitterness of one betrayed. All lies, illusion and false hope.
"I'm, ah…" She stared straight ahead. "I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well."
Alanna nodded, understanding. "I'll bring you another dose of the potion in a hour or so. If you get any more bad cramps, call me." She stood, then stooped to kiss Buri's forehead. "Be well."
"Thank you."
Alanna left and Buri sank back into thoughts of nothingness.
There was another knock at the door and suddenly she curled into herself, drawing her knees up. She hated being helpless like this, bedridden and lonely and needing to be alone, having lost a battle to something she couldn't even fight.
"It's me. Can I come in?" It was Raoul.
"Yes." She cleared her throat and called more clearly, "Yes."
He came in almost shyly, holding out a bunch of daffodils like a shield. She took them and smiled her thanks, and he sat on the bed and put an arm around her.
"How do you feel?" he murmured.
"Empty."
He was silent for a moment. Then, "Buri, I just want to make sure… you don't think you've got a noblewoman's duty around this."
She would have spoken with irony if she thought she could carry it without breaking. "You should have an heir."
"Buri."
"No, I don't think I exist to bear you children, and yes, you should have an heir. And yes, I wanted to be a mother." The last word trembled.
"But you never needed to."
Pause.
"I… I'm sorry." She felt strange saying it, because it wasn't quite what she had wanted to express.
"Why?"
"For leading you on. For making promises. I should have known we were being idealistic. Raoul, I know you're hurting too."
"Buri, I'm sorry. I think I made you feel you had to have children, and if I did… I'm half responsible for this."
She turned to look at him. "And?"
"What?"
"You don't think that?"
He leaned back against the headboard with a sigh, playing his fingers through hers. "It would have been nice, but it's not possible, and one thing I've learned is that you can't go through life wishing for things you can't have. You should be as happy as you can with what you do have."
She thought about this, and tried to pull it together with the loss of something she'd thought she had. The edges didn't quite meet.
"So," she asked, "do you think you can be?"
His hand tightened on hers. "It's you and me, Buri. That's how we started, that's how we'll end. It's more than enough."
She nodded, glad to him say that, and leaned back against his shoulder. His arms seemed firm enough around her.
"Be well, Buri." His breath grazed her ear.
Time would tell, she decided.