Beyond the Mask

Author: Illussen

Chapter 10: It's Not My Place

She sat on the roof watching the sunset, her dark blue eyes lost somewhere behind the horizon. Eyes that were crying. She cried so much that she ran out of tears. Her eyes looked at the abrupt age of the Institute's roof and wished that she'd have the courage to jump of it. To smash her head on the cold cement of the driving way. But she couldn't.

Isolated. She was again isolated. She realized that in the moment she was getting close to someone, something connected with her would mess its life together with hers. The X-Men had left the Institute to their families leaving her practically alone. With two students on hospital beds, two instructors and the leader of the Institute. But she had been avoiding them. Since the moment they came back from the South Pole she rushed to her room and got on the roof. She couldn't sleep. She stayed there all the night without closing an eye and watching in the morning the departures of her friends. She watched Mina and Storm looking sadly at her before getting in a car and leave. She watched Logan this morning as he drove on his motorcycle to God knows where. She had stayed and watched every move. And think. Think about the disasters she had caused since she came here. Hard steps on the roof startled her as she turned her head. It was Hank.

"Why, hello, miss. Nice view." he said. Anna shrugged not answering. "Watching sunset is so romantic. Not too many teens know to appreciate this natural beauty." he added. Again she didn't say a thing. An awkward silence fell between them but Hank decided to break it. "How much longer do you want to stay up here?" She shrugged again not looking at him. "Rogue woke up and asked to see you. Do you wish to see her?" She shook her head. "Why's that?"

"I couldn't look at her without remembering that I have brought her in that hospital bed." she said simply.

"It was her choice to come. But it's also your choice not to see her. But you should eat. Or sleep. Or maybe both of them." Hank suggested.

"I am not hungry. As for sleep, every time I close my eyes I see her face hauntin' me like a ghost."

"The face of your mother?"

"Do not call her my mother." she said raising her voice. "She doesn't deserve this title."

"I am sorry. But she is dead. Her memory haunts you now because you keep remembering her. You can't let her go."

"All of you have suffered because I trusted her. Rogue and Dean are now hurt because of my stupid trust. I almost killed you."

"It was our choice to come along and help you. Even if your trust leaded us to failure, you are the hero in this story." Anna looked at him puzzled. "You faced your responsibilities. You risked your life to save ours. You endured the effects of the M.P.A.S.S. and saved us. That shows the great person you are." Anna looked down. "Come, child."

She opened the door of the infirmary and entered. Anna saw Rogue lying on the bed next to the window and Dean in the bed next to hers. She went next to Rogue's bed and sat on a chair next to it. She looked at the window, staring at the sun outside. A question came into her mind. Why? Why her? She didn't have a mother, she didn't have a father, she didn't have a family. A soft moan interrupted her thoughts as she turned to her eyes other bed where Dean was waking up.

"Where am I?" he asked probably confused.

"Hell." she said slowly but enough for him to hear it.

"You?! What are you doing here?" Anna looked at Rogue then at him. "My head hurts. And my back. What happened?"

"Y'don't remember?" she asked. "North Pole, cold, Emma Frost, big pain in the back." she explained but not in her usual ironic tone but in a sad one.

"Yes, yes, I remember that." he said and helped him self in a sitting position. "What happened after the big pain in the back?"

"We got out." she said avoiding the answer.

"How did we get out?"

"Why the fuck do y'ask?" she said angry. "We got out and that's all. Y'don't have to know the details."

"Answer the fucking question, Anna. Face your responsibilities. You got us in that, the least you can do is to tell me what happened!!!" he said trying to be calm. But in that moment he realized that he said the worst thing that he could say.
"Thank you!!! I was wondering how many time did it take for someone to spit it out right in my face. But sooner, the better. Thank you again, Anders! I will go now, so that I wouldn't infect this place with my presence!" she shouted. "If Rogue wakes up, tell her that I'll come visit her tomorrow. Bye. And have a good day." she added and shut the door with a loud thud.

"Oh, my friggin' head." Dean commented.

"Dean, where do you think you're going?" Hank protested as he saw Dean Anders leaving two hours later after the argument.

"Out." he answered.

"But you have to rest."

"Oh, I'm fine. I have a healing factor."

"Still,-"

"Hank, please. I feel fine."

"Okay. I will not argue anymore. But I'd like to know where you're going."

"Around. Looking for someone." Hank looked skeptically at him.

"Okay. By the way have you seen Anna? Mina has been calling asking to talk with her sister but I haven't found her."

"Why didn't you pass her to me?"

"She asked of you but I said that you were resting."

"Hmmm... If she calls again tell her to call later or call on my cell phone."

"I will."

Anna sat into the darkest corner of the bar, her attention focused on the design of the wooden frame of the table. 'What am I doing here?' she thought as she watched the glass of whiskey in front of her and the bottle a little further. 'I have sworn that-"

"You know that if the professor founds out you'll be grounded forever." a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What the fuck do you care, Anders. Why don't y'go and fill him in with these news?" she said slightly angry. Dean sat at the table and looked at her.

"I think that we had this conversation some weeks ago and I think that you've understood that you are my team mate and that I care about my team."

"Give me a break with these speeches. Sounds cliché." she replied taking the glass to her mouth and sipping from the drink.

"It might be but it is the truth."

"Face it, Anders. Y'hate me. And I don't give a shit. Which leads to the question: Why isn't Logan here? Usually he was the one coming to blackmail me to come back or to be social." she added and stared into his eyes then back at the table. /Why did I do that? I just showed him that I'm weaker. Stupid! Stupid!/

"Logan wasn't at the Institute." he answered.

"Yay..." she exclaimed sarcastically.

"So here I am." Dean continued.

"And yay again." An awkward silence fell between them.

"I'm sorry." Dean said finally making Anna to look at him surprised.

"What?"

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I think I was delirious because I'd never say this while being normal. I'm sorry."

"Save it." she retorted bitterly.

"I suddenly realize that I'm the only one to set things right between us. But if you don't help me, I can't." he said taking the glass from her hand, spilling the content in his mouth then making a face.

"Why do y'drink? Y're the good boy here, y'shouldn't do things like that." she commented and took the glass from him as she refilled it. Again silence. "Y'know," she said after a while "sometimes I think that The Institute is not my place. So I shouldn't try to set things right with you or anyone else, I should go straight to the Brotherhood and serve that Mystique bitch." she added and drank all the whiskey from the glass.

"I'd say you're drunk but when people get drunk they enter the la la land and are so happy. You, get anti-social so I'm putting this on your usual depressed mode."

"Think whatever y'want, I don't really consider it."

"As I said." Silence. "So, do you forgive me?"

"No."

"Jesus, tell me what to do so that you'd forgive me."

"Please, cut the bullshit. This works with Mina, not with me."

"And what the heck works with you?"

"Nothin'." she answered. "Wait. Somethin' works. Y'LEAVIN' ME ALONE." she added raising her voice. The people looked at them then they heard some random woman saying. "The bastard probably cheated on her."

"Anna, I'm going to say this just once. Forgive me. I think you know me better than this and you know that I didn't want to hurt you." She didn't answer. Dean wanted to leave but for a moment he looked down at her. She was holding her head low. She was crying. One tear fell on the table. Dean put his hand on her shoulder.

"My life is a mess." she whispered. He didn't know what to do.

"Anna, please, let's go home. We don't need more problems. And please calm down." Anna obeyed. She got up and went outside. He was hiding the fact that he noticed that she had been crying. For someone like her it would be hard to be comforted. And he knew it. The way to the Institute seemed endless even if it was only one mile. Dean formed the security code and waited for Anna to enter as he followed her. Suddenly she stopped walking and sat on a stair. She had been crying silently all the way.

"Y'don't need to hide the fact that y'know I've been cryin'." she said sobbing. He looked at her.

"Then I can tell you: 'Please, stop crying.'"

"I wish I could. But when I think-"

"She doesn't deserve your tears. She doesn't deserve you as a daughter." he said and sat next to her.

"What?"

"Anna, believe me, I know how you feel. I really know."

"How could y'know?" He turned his head and breathed heavily.

"I shouldn't tell you this but if it will make you feel better, I will. My father was a scientist. For years he tried to come up with the perfect DNA molecule. To create someone like Superman. Smart, powerful. He came with a formula and duplicated it. Unfortunately in one of it another DNA molecule was mixed something else accidentally. He planted these two perfect cells in my mother's body and nine months. Later me and my brother Jonathan were born. Our powers developed since we were little. Jonathan was what my father had expected it. Strong, smart, invulnerable, he could fly. Me, on the other hand, I was insignificant. My powers were nothing compared to his in my father's opinion. Since that moment I was his guinea pig. He tried to make me like Jonathan for years and years and years. When I attacked you on Asteroid M, I threw at you with something. That wasn't my power. Just something temporarily that my father implanted in me before I ran away." She looked amazed but he didn't know why. "Do you want me to help you go upstairs? Maybe, you should sleep." he added. She shook her head.

"No, I'll go in the Rec Room to watch somethin'. I don't feel like sleepin'." she replied and got up.

"I'm heading to the kitchen. Do you want something?"

"A glass of water." she answered and left the room.

When Dean entered the Rec Room he found Anna looking at the tv, hugging her knees.

"Here." he said and offered the glass. She took it and drank the water then placed it on the coffee table.

"Thank you." she said. He sat next to her and looked at her face.

"Anna, may I ask you something?" he said. She turned to him and nodded. "You seemed surprised earlier when I told you my story. Why?" Anna breathed deep then began.

"Because... it's surprisingly the same with my story. 17 years ago Emma Frost and an unknown mad and powerful mutant decided to make the most powerful mutant from the world. But... they failed. Indeed I was stronger than other mutants but I couldn't control my powers. Emma decided to kill me, the other decided to give me to Mina's family until my powers, that he somehow made them disappear for the moment, will reappear." A tear fell on her cheek but she quickly erased it. "Y'see, I don't have parents, only a donator father and a bearin' mother. Nothing more! When I first realized that she was my mother I really thought that I will have the chance of a real family. But as always, when things seem to settle down something happens and my life is ruined!" This time she couldn't hold her tears back. Dean approached slowly and took her in his arms.

"Don't cry. She doesn't deserve your tears." he said pulling her closer. She didn't pull away, but she buried her face in his chest still crying. Moments later she fell asleep, he joining her after watching her for some moments.

I like the chapter so much but I hate my grammar in this particular moment. Well, I also have to apologize for making you to wait, I could have posted this a week ago but I played Sims 2 all the day. I also have something else. I only update on weekends. I have my computer restricted for the rest of the week. (I'm going to kill my daddy but this doesn't matters now.)

Oh, and don't forget, I'll start a new story (what, you thought this is the ending?), continuing this one. Well, I do have problems with the title and first chapter title but that will be solved until next weekend. Bye, and have fun reading.

PS: If you haven't played Sims 2 until now, you really have to. That game rocks!

Bye. (Really.)