Crimson Earth:
The Journal of Himura Yukina

Saisho no Peji



Natsu, 1903

Otousan always said that life had a way of turning out for the best; that storms had to end sometime after drowning out the land, but the sun will always break through the storm clouds and give back the earth its colors.

Maybe it was the way that he said it: so hopeful, so heartfelt, and always with a smile grazing his fair, scarred face that made it a little too... ideal. I was amused, for the most part. I really didn't mean to find it so funny; I guess it was just his way of telling me to brighten up whenever I needed to.

I've always looked up to my father for that. His intristic ability to lighten anyone's spirit is astounding; he needs only to step into a room to chase the shadows away. So whenever I needed a smile, all I had to do was run to him and he'd share his smile with me. And we'd be happy.

I remember Sano-papa had said otousan hadn't always been this way. For some reason, I knew that right from the moment I could think for myself, and I believed it completely. I knew that there's more to that calmness my father always wraps himself in, and it was definitely more than just a reflection of the Zen he was always practicing.

But when I asked otousan what Sano-papa meant by what he said, guess what... he just smiled and gave me a gentle pat on the head and said that I need not know about it, at least not yet. He explained that these were happy times; it does us no good to dwell in the past.

I never really felt disappointed about being left in the dark after that.

And thanks to otousan, I never quite knew what loneliness or sadness exactly was.

Himura Kenshin is not really my father -- at least not in a biological sense. Though I bear the Himura family name, I'm not exactly his flesh and blood. Nor is Sano-papa -- or anyone else in the dojo for that matter. And if you're asking, I don't feel bad about it at all. I don't feel any different from other kids who have a family of their own. Besides, I never thought of myself as 'normal' anyway, considering that my entire life was destined for a different path, but instead ended up where another had entirely lead me to the Kamiya dojo. And how.

It doesn't bother me, though, nor will it ever. It never has in my whole nineteen years, so why now?

In fact, it made me feel unique.

I was given the name 'Yukina' after the circumstances in which I came (literally stormed in, really). Kenshin-tousan told me how he and Sano-papa found me on their way home by the side of the river one snowy December night, crying my lungs out and almost half-frozen with only a tattered blanket to keep me warm. And when they took me home, how the whole dojo was like hit by a storm... and especially how Kaoru-neesan almost hit the roof when she realized how serious otousan was about keeping me.

Not that she minded. Startled her most of all.

When I was younger, I would ask 'tousan to tell me the story about the baby in the snow again and again when it was time for bed, and through the years I came to understand that I was that baby, and that I was not at all 'unwanted'; that in truth, I was a blessing. I was Yukina of the Snow.

Sano-papa had told me that he had wanted my name to be 'Kaede' instead of being named after something so cold and potentially dreadful. "Maple", he said. He never really told me why he wanted it, he just did. Megumi-sensei would recall how Sano-papa didn't have a chance with the others as they debated on my name, and I would laugh at how Yahiko-niisan mercilessly teased him about being outnumbered and stupid until Sano-papa's ears turned red.

As usual, I would come to his rescue, defending my papa's intellect, and Yahiko-baka and I always ended up bickering like two-year-olds not even Kaoru-neesan's flying slippers could stop.

Once in a while, though, Papa would still call me his "Kae-chan" when no one was listening. And that made me feel ever more special.

I can hear Kaoru-neesan calling; it's finally time for supper. I sure hope otousan cooked this time! Oh no... if he did, I had better hurry! A second too late for me and Sano-papa and Yahiko-baka wouldn't have left a speck of food on the table even for the pigeons to pick!

They had better not touch anything yet or else I'll KILL them!

o.O.o

After dinner, I went out to the porch to bask in the afterglow of having a full stomach, courtesy of an exceptionally delicious meal prepared by otousan. Tonight was a full moon, and everything in the garden was surreal, like luminous spirits were dancing atop leaves, rocks, and the silent rippling waters of the pond.

I propped myself up the wall in the far corner of the house's façade, where shadows met every night, and sighed contentedly. The spot offered a picturesque view of the whole back yard: the pond, the stone garden just beyond the cobbled path that led to the bath, and the dojo itself looming in the background. Life couldn't have gotten any better.

And that was when I caught a glimpse of my otousan; in the darkness, his bright red hair was like a beacon that drew wandering glances wherever it appeared, and although streaked with a little gray at some parts, it was still as vibrant as ever. When I was younger, I was fascinated with his hair, how it slid like fire through my little fingers. As the years drawled by, it grew longer and I always had something to play with when my hands became idle.

He was sipping tea then, when Sano-papa came in with his gruff and clumsy elegance that always seemed to ripple otousan's calm waters and sat down beside him. As always, my father cuddled onto the taller man and they sat there -- if not engaged in conversation, then in affectionate silence. On some nights, I could have sworn that otousan would make little excuses just for papa to come out and hold him.

I didn't think they even noticed me, then again I don't mind. That was their time. And they were happy. I felt that in my father's ki, which was very strong -- it all the more seemed to magnify whenever papa was around him, and vice versa.

I remember Kaoru-neesan telling me that it hadn't always been like that. There was a time when papa had to go away. Then, a year later, otousan left as well. Another two years crawled by before papa finally came home... and astonishingly, with otousan -- sick and helpless in his arms.

"He was a ghost," so nee-san said. "A spirit still trapped in a body that refuses to die."

A few months passed and, thankfully, otousan got back his health under the unyielding vigilance of the whole household. His spirit was just as fiery as before, but his body was not as strong as it used to be. Nobody knew what it was -- everybody hazaarded a guess that it was from years and years of battle, that his fate had finally caught up with him. Then again nobody questioned more than what they were not ready to know.

Despite everything however, Sano-papa was the one constantly there by his side the whole time. He would throw a nasty, bone-breaking, asphyxiating fit if anybody persuaded him to leave otousan for even a minute. Nee-san quipped that she had even been jealous of papa then, (at this point, the image of a very vindictive shinai-weilding nee-san couldn't leave my mind. Hell hath no fury than Kaoru scorned indeed) as he fought fiercely for monopoly of otousan's bedside.

Kenshin-tousan slowly regained his old, peaceful self again. Nobody knew exactly what brought him back: Megumi-sensei's healing genius or Sano-papa's constant presence. Either which, I'm glad that he is here now.

And that was about the time when, one December night, they came across a baby near the river...

Neesan said that the years before they found me were riddled with uncertainty, sadness, and loss, and the only way to survive them was to look forward to happier days.

I believe those days have come.

When I saw how my papa wrapped himself lovingly around otousan, who in turn purred contentedly in that warm embrace, I couldn't agree more.

Maybe this was one of my father's philosophies at work: life would turn out for the best?

I'd say it most definitely did. For Nee-san, Yahiko-baka, and even for Megumi-sensei and her two charges: Ayame-san and Suzume-san... But most especially for otousan -- who loved life and sit on the porch... and Sano-papa who always sat beside him.

And they were finally happy.

TBC...



Revised: October 20, 2004 1:23am

o.O.o



Author's Notes:

Just a quick one. I've been toying around the idea about seeing Sano and Kenshin's relationship in a different perspective, so here it is. It's a bit cliché, but hey, it's a start. I'm still thinking if I should just cut off the idea about it being a journal, and just post this as a stand-alone; then again, I'd leave so many plot holes that I won't have a choice but do a multi-chapter fic. Unless of course I'd just explain everything in the start, deshoo? Demo, that wouldn't be fun, now would it? grin

...and yes, there is a plot there somewhere.

Revision notes: I've seriously screwed up with the timeline, so I revised some parts to coincide with the timeline I had in mind. I'm still debating whether I should include the year of the Revenge arc or not, or just base the whole thing on the anime and take off from the year they came back to Tokyo. Come to think of it, the Revenge arc finished in the same year so there's virtually no difference ;;; I'm trying to figure things out.

The Revenge arc concluded in late 1879, just a few months after the Kyoto arc. I'm still not sure of this, but let's just say that I've been granted artistic license by the King of Gondor and I can screw it up anytime I please; it is, after all, my fic. KIDDING! :D I haven't read the manga either that's why I'm not completely sure of this; I'll have to get back to you on that.

Anyway, if our assumptions are correct -- and the timelines are in order -- then Kenshin in 1903 (which is approximately the present date for this story) is in his 50's... and Sano in his 40's, but don't fret, dear ones... they're still as gorgeous as ever.

When all else fails and I can't get the compromise I need... bleh...

C&Cs are very much appreciated!