Sirius lay on his bed, staring up at the stone ceiling miserably. There were times when it seemed entirely too complicated to go on being . Times when fighting everything that had made you, everything that surrounded you and shaped your existence seemed so pointless. He swallowed, the lump in his throat like iron. Did the values he clung to so desperately really merit being loathed by his own family? What if for some reason James, and Peter and Remus decided that he was no longer worthy of their company? He'd be alone – A Black without Blacks, a Slytherin with pretensions to Gryffindor.

The door to the room opened, and he heard footfalls on the stone flagons. He couldn't be bothered to lift his head to see who it was.

"Sirius?" Remus's voice never revealed much of his emotions, only hinting at the intricacies of his thoughts. A note of concern was there now, Sirius noticed, the familiar tone penetrating some of the grey gloom fogging his mind.

"Sirius," Remus sighed, walking over. He stood beside the bed, looking down at him. Sirius's over-long black hair formed an inky aureole around his face on the white pillow. A balled up piece of parchment lay scant inches away from the boy's hand, as if he were too tired to cast it further from him.

Remus picked it gently from Sirius's grasp, his robe sleeve brushing him as he leant over to take it. Remus had long fingers, delicate looking, the skin stretched across the bones was clear and pale, his wrists finely veined. The strength of them was deceptive, Sirius thought distantly, about anything but the letter, as Remus carefully smoothed out the parchment and read it without sound, his eyes moving across the page quickly. His hand dropped to his side and his gaze moved from the crumpled page to Sirius, his eyes meeting Sirius's steadily.

"Sirius, they don't change anything," he said quietly, a calm reminder of all that Sirius had to lose. "Don't let them change it. You're not one of them. You're one of us."

Remus bent forward, almost on top of him, looking directly into Sirius's eyes. He was so close that Sirius could feel the warmth of his breath on his cheek, and the intensity of his gaze was unavoidable.

"We couldn't do without you," Remus said, lowly, his voice barely above a whisper. "None of us. Not even me." Sirius was incredibly aware that Remus was scarce inches above him, his skin prickled with feeling and longing. He couldn't speak, his voice caught in his throat, he could only look up at Remus, his eyes burning with the nexus of emotions that he couldn't communicate.

The moment seemed to catch, and hang in the air forever, time was afraid to move for fear it would change. And then something shifted, and it shattered. Remus stepped back quickly, and coughed, his eyes moving quickly, anywhere but Sirius.

"Look, you stupid prat," he said with the old fondness, as if Sirius wasn't filled with confusion and fear and desire among the other fierce and new sensations fighting to be heard, "We love you, so forget what these idiots say." He tossed the parchment, balled up once more at Sirius, and held out a hand.

Sirius looked at it, the same, strong as steel, delicately beautiful hand that he'd admired before, and slowly placed his own into it, shaking off the thoughts that dogged him to try and assume his own carelessness.

"Now come on," Remus said impatiently, apparently with all the old camaraderie, "James is trying to think up a new way to ask Lily out, and we're going to bet on how long she listens to him before she turns him down." Laughing, Sirius found, became easier, and he left with his friend.

/

"So, why d'you think we should make you Sirius's date for the Halloween Ball?" James looked straight into the brunette's blue eyes, and smiled in a – he hoped – suave manner, and ran a casual hand through his hair. Peter hit him with the roll of parchment, over the back of the head.

"Oi," James looked aggrieved, glaring at Peter, who rolled his eyes. "James, mate, we're trying to get Sirius a date. Not you a shag." The brunette frowned, and adjusted her robes a little more loosely around her chest.

"Um, I thought Sirius had asked you to ask me out," she said, her forehead creasing in puzzlement. James inspected his nails with a smug smile, and glanced up.

"My dear, this is an audition," he said coolly. "Sirius is a mate." Peter nodded, sitting back against the cushions of the sofa.

"We don't want a dog with him," Peter added, with a sly smirk at James. The small pun was not lost on the black haired Quidditch player.

"An audition?" The brunette raised her eyebrows, and regarded them with contempt from the now steely blue eyes. "So let me get this straight. James Potter and his merry band of wankers are auditioning poor sods to end up being groped by Sirius Black at a Ball, abandoned for the next piece of crumpet that crosses his line of vision, and drooled on when the idiot overdoses on the fruit punch that the aforementioned wankers will undoubtedly have spiked." She sighed, shaking her head and sending a mass of silky brown hair flying.

"You complete and utter prats. You're sixth years, not almighty sex gods. I'd be bloody surprised if you'd even managed a grope behind the greenhouses," she scoffed contemptuously. She laughed, and a faint thought that this idea might not have been the best one they'd had began to dawn in each boy's mind.

"I can't wait to see what Lily Evans makes of this," the girl added, tossing a disgusted look at James. "You're the twat that's trying to get into her good books, right?"

Oh dear.

"Um, Peter, did you post the audition notice everywhere?" James asked in a very small voice, swallowing hard. Peter nodded.

"Yeah. Except Slytherin common-room, we've got them everywhere," he replied awkwardly, trying to smile at the brunette who had just decimated them and failing.

"There you are, mate," James declared with a relieved and happy grin as he rounded the corridor to meet Sirius and Remus. "We thought you'd gone off somewhere." Remus frowned, trying not to display his amusement.

"I thought you were propositioning Lily," he raised his eyebrows at Peter, who shrugged. "Again," Remus added, with a little grin. James shook his head.

"Nah, that plan went tits up when Peter here," he shot an annoyed look at the smaller boy, "Decided to completely bugger the ide-"he trailed off as his gaze slipped to Sirius. "Never mind."

"Go on," Sirius encouraged with an almost completely carefree grin. Before James could continue, however, a voice piped up behind him.

"Sirius." Sirius turned, annoyance rising in him, his muscles tensing instantly. Regulus stood before him, burning impatience in everything about him. Sirius almost choked with laughter when the nasty little whelp actually nodded an acknowledgement at James, Peter and Remus. He noted the disgust with which James stared, bewildered at his brother.

"I need to talk to you," Regulus pleaded, urgency eminating in his voice. "It's important." Nervously, he looked behind him, and then back up at Sirius. Sirius stepped back. He was a Gryffindor, he wouldn't be dragged down, he couldn't. Regulus couldn't make him. With rising panic, he shook his head firmly.

"No," he answered, backing away. "Go away, Regulus. I'm not doing anything for you. You'd only report back to Mother like a good little boy," he sneered.

With one furious and desperate look at Sirius, Regulus turned and almost ran he walked so fast away from him. Trying to forget the interlude, Sirius turned back to his friends.

A/N: And the tension heightens! Please review!