Part 2: Trying to console
[A/N
This part was harder to write, but here it is. I'm trying to keep 'em in character…]
Andie McPhee could only watch as Pacey Witter disappeared into the hospital room, to have one last look at his brother, slightly behind his father. The last 15 minutes had been a painful blur. She hadn't been able to speak to Pacey since the arrival of the nurse, which she was slightly glad of.
She didn't know what to say. She'd looked at him while the nurse had been talking. She'd looked into his pain-filled eyes and hadn't known what to do. She wanted desperately to take that pain away from him, but she didn't know how. He'd already been through so much… all of them had.
Andie's thoughts abruptly changed to his father. Pacey obviously had a hard time with his him. Even if he hadn't told her this some time before, she would have been able to figure it out just by the little interaction they'd had that morning.
She remembered the way his father had been looking at Paceywhile the nurse had been explaining the details of Doug's death, and all compassion left her, being replaced by a boiling rage.
His father had been staring at Pacey with the UT-most hatred.
Andie celdum got angry, and didn't recall a time when she'd felt real, unadulterated hatride towards someone, but that's how she felt about Pacey's father.
Pacey was a sweet, lovable guy, who only wanted to please his family and have his father think of him as more than a complete screw up, and John Witter clearly hated his son's very existence.
This made Andie mad - no, more then mad. She felt a burning anger so strong for John Witter that words couldn't come close to describing it.
The door to Doug Witter's hospital room opened abruptly, and Pacey emerged. His eyes were wide, and he looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Are you okay?" Her anger dissipated at the sight of him, and she moved to stand beside him. She already knew the answer to her question, but she still asked it.
He opened his mouth as though to say something, and then simply shook his head. He turned to look at her, and his eyes were those of a small child in search of his mother, looking for consolation, for shelter from the storm, for protection and love.
Andie wondered briefly where Pacey's mother was, but decided it didn't really matter for the moment.
She reached out and put her arms around him. He was rigid in her embrace for a moment, before letting his head slump against her shoulder, and his body lean against hers for support. She tried to let her love and compassion flow into her embrace, saying nothing but feeling beyond comprehention.
They stood like that for a few moments, both lost in thought. The door to Doug's room opened again and John Witter stormed out.
"Pacey, he growled the word, "what did you-" He stopped abruptly as he saw Pacey and Andie.
They pulled apart, and both looked at John with different emotions.
Pacey's eyes were filled with a fearful sadness, whereas the hate had returned to Andie's in full force. She didn't want that man anywhere near Pacey, ever again.
Finally, Andie turned to Pacey and spoke quietly. "You want to come over for a while? Or would you rather go home and get some sleep? You really look like you could use some." She didn't want him to go home, because she knew that that was most likely where his father was going, but she suggested it anyway, if it would help him
He looked away from his father and back at her, relief in his eyes. He reached out and took her hand, holding it tightly, for comfort and for both their protection. "I'll come over," he said quietly.
--
Joey Potter looked up from the television as the front door of the McPhee house opened. Jack McPhee looked up as well and muted the TV, to Joey's relief. Sunday morning TV really did suck.
The two watched as Pacey and Andie entered the living room.
"Where'd you go off to so early?" Jack asked Andie, but Joey's eyes were on Pacey.
In all the years she'd known him, she'd never seen him quite like this. His expression looked lost, his eyes full of unmasked pain. There were dark circles under them, and he looked as though he hadn't slept in days.
"Whoa, Witter," she said after a shocked pause, "who died?"
Jack and Andie's conversation stopped abruptly, and Andie shot her a look. Joey blinked, confused. Had she said something wrong?
"My brother," Pacey responded quietly, and Joey's jaw dropped.
"I… I'm sorry Pace," she said after yet another pause, getting up and touching his shoulder. This was probably the most compassion Joey had ever shown towards Pacey, and he managed a small and obviously forced smile of thanks.
"Thanks Jo," he murmured quietly, the trembling of his voice noticed by all.
"Let's go upstairs," Andie murmered to Pacey, and they left with out another word from any of the teens.
--
Pacey had been in Andie's room quite a few times before, but this seemed different. He lay back on her wonderfully soft bed, her bedspread smooth against his cheek.
He sighed quietly, wishing he could forget the events of the last hour. He glanced at the halfway open bathroom door, Andie's back just visible to him.
Somehow, thinking of Andie made him think of Doug as well. The image of Doug's unmoving body and icy skin flashed into his mind, and the realization seemed to hit him like an electric shock.
His brother was dead.
His brother, the only member of his family who he'd ever really cared about and who might have cared about him at times was dead.
He'd heard it too many times in the passed hour, even said it aloud once. It hadn't seemed to hit him until now, but it suddenly felt as though he'd been punched in the stomach.
When Andie walked out of the bathroom a few moments later, her eyes fell on the figure curled up on her bed. Pacey suddenly looked so small lying there. Quietly, she walked over and lay down beside him.
His eyes were half closed, and he was staring off into space.
Andie's hand brushed against Pacey's, and he turned strangely overbright eyes to look at her.
In the 6 months she'd known Pacey, she'd seen him show quite a few emotions. But she'd never seen him cry.
But now, she watched silently as first one tear and then another trickled down his cheeks.
He could feel her eyes on him, and tried to move away. He moved to stand, the hot tears blinding him.
A few seconds later, Andie stood as well. "Pacey," she spoke quietly, "come here."
He kept his back to her, refusing to let her see the tears that stung his eyes and clouded his vision.
He was unable to reply except for a shake of his head as he drew in an unsteady breath in an attempt to regain some semblance of control.
"Pace," Andie spoke again, her tone quiet yet firm, "come here."
She touched his shoulder, and he slowly turned around as another tear slid down his cheek.
Soft fingers brushed his face as Andie gently wiped it away, acting like the mother he'd always wanted but never had.
"It just hit me, you know?" His voice was a broken whisper, as he tried with out success to stop the tears, which streaked his cheeks and were cold and salty on his lips.
Andie didn't know what to say to that, but her heart ached for him.
"I mean," Pacey continued, "we weren't even all that close. He hated me, for heaven's sake. But… I just feel…"
He broke off, his lower lip beginning to tremble. More tears formed, the small droplets falling silently down his cheeks, splashing on Andie's hand, which still cupped his face tenderly.
Andie didn't think, simply acted. She reached out and embraced Pacey for the third time that morning, pulling his head down on her shoulder. A mix between a whimper and a strangled sob escaped his lips as his tears began in Ernest.
He clung to her as though she was the only thing keeping him alive, the pain that he'd been feeling all morning finally being fully exposed.
"Shh," she soothed gently. "It'll be okay, Pace. Shh…"
Somehow, she managed to move them both back onto the bed, and she lay on her side, holding Pacey close against her, his tears soaking her shirt as his ragid sobs shook them both.
Eventually his tears ceased and he laid in her arms, exhausted both emotionally and physically. The room was silent save for Pacey's breathing, which was loud and shaky.
He opened his mouth to speak, and then changed his mind.
He kissed her, his lips slick and salty with tears. They lay there kissing each other for a few minutes, until Pacey's exhaustion finally took over and he fell into a restless sleep, calmed slightly by Andie's presense and gentle embrace.
Andie wiped at her own eyes as she gave Pacey's hand a little squeeze. It made her heart break to see him in pain like that.
Slowly, as not to wake him, she slid him out of her arms and stood up.
Walking over to her closet, she pulled out a wool blanket and laid it over Pacey.
Walking into the bathroom once again, she washed her face and then returned to her bedroom. She didn't want Pacey to know she'd been crying, but it just reminded her so much of Tim's death…
Stop that, she told herself sharply. You can't be feeling sorry for yourself now, Pacey needs you.
She sat down next to Pacey and took his hand in hers. She ran her finger over his palm absently, listening to his shaky breathing, and noting the tear stains on his face.
Sometime later, the bedroom door opened. Jack stuck his head in, Joey just behind him.
"How is he?" Joey asked in a whisper, walking into the room with Jack.
"How are you?" Jack asked of his sister, both their voices filled with concern.
"I'm all right," she told him, making sure to keep her voice low, and strong.
"Dawson just called," Joey said, a slight note of bitterness in her voice at mention her x's name, "Jack told him what happened. Jen knows, too."
Andie nodded, barely listening. She sniffed. "He's asleep now," she said, squeezing Pacey's hand. He moved closer to her slightly, and Andie bent down, kissing his cheek as she attempted to hide her tears.
"We'll be downstairs if you need anything," Jack told her, and the other two left the room.
Andie lay down beside Pacey, draping her arm over his waste and closing her eyes.
She soon fell asleep, holding Pacey close.
---
Pacey's body jerked, waking both Andie and himself.
For a few moments he was confused to his surroundings, and to why he had been asleep in the middle of the morning, but then the events of the previous night came back sharply.
"Are you okay?" Andie's voice was soft, and she sat up on her bed.
"Sort of," he said truthfully, sitting up as well.
She reached out and put her arms around him, not really sure if she wanted to give him comfort or ask for it herself.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice muffled by her hair.
"I will be," she reassured him.
He raised his head and looked down, his eyes apologetic. "I know this must be hard on you, too."
She held him tighter, and spoke softly, a small smile on her angelic face.
"Don't worry about me," she told him, her voice both firm and gentle. "I'll be okay. You just try to get through this, all right? And when you need someone… I'll be here."
"Always?"
"Always."
"Thanks… so will I."
"I thought so."
Their voices had become softer as their faces drew closer.
After Andie's last statement, their lips finally touched in a kiss so full of emotion that it was almost painful in its intensity.
---
About an hour later, the doorbell rang. Pacey and Andie came down from where they had been exchanging stories about Doug and Tim respectively. Both their faces were tearstained, but they were smiling.
"Hey," Jack was saying to Dawson. Jen was just behind him, as was Joey with Jack.
Dawson and Joey avoided making eye contact, and Jack and Jen exchanged a nervous glance, sensing the tension between their friends.
"Hey, guys," Pacey said from the bottom of the stairs.
All 4 teens turned to face Pacey and Andie, who stood watching them hand-in-hand.
"Hey, man," Dawson greeted hesitantly. "I'm real sorry…"
Pacey nodded, exchanging a look with Andie.
"Get used to it," she said. "I'm sorry never helps the pain go away, but everyone says it anyway."
"Nope," Jen agreed, walking towards them. "Never does."
She reached out and abruptly hugged Pacey, breaking his and Andie's hands apart.
It wasn't as awkward as he'd expected, and he returned the embrace, smelling her perfume and feeling the dampness of her hair against his cheek.
"How you holding up?" She asked softly, rubbing his back.
"Living," he said honestly, leaning his face into her hair.
"Hang in there," she murmured, drawing back.
He managed a weak smile as they broke apart completely. "Will do," he promised, his eyes straying back to Andie. 'And she'll help me,' he thought, an immense feeling of gratitude and warmth filling his heart as he saw Andie looking back at him.
Author's notes:
I'm sorry this has taken so long! Scarily enough, last night I was considering deleting this fic for good and sticking with writing Smallville fics. Then I looked through the Dawson's Creek section, and seeing that mine was the only P/A fic for aaages, I decided I couldn't.
I don't now when the next part will be up, but it'll most likely contain child abuse… and more crying Pacey!
Oh, and that last part between Jen and Pacey was just suppose to be andI know how you feel' scene. Jen and Pacey have a sweet friendship in my opinion and can really relate to each other a lot in certain things.
Anyway, please review!
Thanks bunches!
Bunches? Since when do I say 'bunches?' Freaky… I need sleep… and more P/A. ::Nudges readers:: Get busy writing!
[A/N
This part was harder to write, but here it is. I'm trying to keep 'em in character…]
Andie McPhee could only watch as Pacey Witter disappeared into the hospital room, to have one last look at his brother, slightly behind his father. The last 15 minutes had been a painful blur. She hadn't been able to speak to Pacey since the arrival of the nurse, which she was slightly glad of.
She didn't know what to say. She'd looked at him while the nurse had been talking. She'd looked into his pain-filled eyes and hadn't known what to do. She wanted desperately to take that pain away from him, but she didn't know how. He'd already been through so much… all of them had.
Andie's thoughts abruptly changed to his father. Pacey obviously had a hard time with his him. Even if he hadn't told her this some time before, she would have been able to figure it out just by the little interaction they'd had that morning.
She remembered the way his father had been looking at Paceywhile the nurse had been explaining the details of Doug's death, and all compassion left her, being replaced by a boiling rage.
His father had been staring at Pacey with the UT-most hatred.
Andie celdum got angry, and didn't recall a time when she'd felt real, unadulterated hatride towards someone, but that's how she felt about Pacey's father.
Pacey was a sweet, lovable guy, who only wanted to please his family and have his father think of him as more than a complete screw up, and John Witter clearly hated his son's very existence.
This made Andie mad - no, more then mad. She felt a burning anger so strong for John Witter that words couldn't come close to describing it.
The door to Doug Witter's hospital room opened abruptly, and Pacey emerged. His eyes were wide, and he looked as though he was going to be sick.
"Are you okay?" Her anger dissipated at the sight of him, and she moved to stand beside him. She already knew the answer to her question, but she still asked it.
He opened his mouth as though to say something, and then simply shook his head. He turned to look at her, and his eyes were those of a small child in search of his mother, looking for consolation, for shelter from the storm, for protection and love.
Andie wondered briefly where Pacey's mother was, but decided it didn't really matter for the moment.
She reached out and put her arms around him. He was rigid in her embrace for a moment, before letting his head slump against her shoulder, and his body lean against hers for support. She tried to let her love and compassion flow into her embrace, saying nothing but feeling beyond comprehention.
They stood like that for a few moments, both lost in thought. The door to Doug's room opened again and John Witter stormed out.
"Pacey, he growled the word, "what did you-" He stopped abruptly as he saw Pacey and Andie.
They pulled apart, and both looked at John with different emotions.
Pacey's eyes were filled with a fearful sadness, whereas the hate had returned to Andie's in full force. She didn't want that man anywhere near Pacey, ever again.
Finally, Andie turned to Pacey and spoke quietly. "You want to come over for a while? Or would you rather go home and get some sleep? You really look like you could use some." She didn't want him to go home, because she knew that that was most likely where his father was going, but she suggested it anyway, if it would help him
He looked away from his father and back at her, relief in his eyes. He reached out and took her hand, holding it tightly, for comfort and for both their protection. "I'll come over," he said quietly.
--
Joey Potter looked up from the television as the front door of the McPhee house opened. Jack McPhee looked up as well and muted the TV, to Joey's relief. Sunday morning TV really did suck.
The two watched as Pacey and Andie entered the living room.
"Where'd you go off to so early?" Jack asked Andie, but Joey's eyes were on Pacey.
In all the years she'd known him, she'd never seen him quite like this. His expression looked lost, his eyes full of unmasked pain. There were dark circles under them, and he looked as though he hadn't slept in days.
"Whoa, Witter," she said after a shocked pause, "who died?"
Jack and Andie's conversation stopped abruptly, and Andie shot her a look. Joey blinked, confused. Had she said something wrong?
"My brother," Pacey responded quietly, and Joey's jaw dropped.
"I… I'm sorry Pace," she said after yet another pause, getting up and touching his shoulder. This was probably the most compassion Joey had ever shown towards Pacey, and he managed a small and obviously forced smile of thanks.
"Thanks Jo," he murmured quietly, the trembling of his voice noticed by all.
"Let's go upstairs," Andie murmered to Pacey, and they left with out another word from any of the teens.
--
Pacey had been in Andie's room quite a few times before, but this seemed different. He lay back on her wonderfully soft bed, her bedspread smooth against his cheek.
He sighed quietly, wishing he could forget the events of the last hour. He glanced at the halfway open bathroom door, Andie's back just visible to him.
Somehow, thinking of Andie made him think of Doug as well. The image of Doug's unmoving body and icy skin flashed into his mind, and the realization seemed to hit him like an electric shock.
His brother was dead.
His brother, the only member of his family who he'd ever really cared about and who might have cared about him at times was dead.
He'd heard it too many times in the passed hour, even said it aloud once. It hadn't seemed to hit him until now, but it suddenly felt as though he'd been punched in the stomach.
When Andie walked out of the bathroom a few moments later, her eyes fell on the figure curled up on her bed. Pacey suddenly looked so small lying there. Quietly, she walked over and lay down beside him.
His eyes were half closed, and he was staring off into space.
Andie's hand brushed against Pacey's, and he turned strangely overbright eyes to look at her.
In the 6 months she'd known Pacey, she'd seen him show quite a few emotions. But she'd never seen him cry.
But now, she watched silently as first one tear and then another trickled down his cheeks.
He could feel her eyes on him, and tried to move away. He moved to stand, the hot tears blinding him.
A few seconds later, Andie stood as well. "Pacey," she spoke quietly, "come here."
He kept his back to her, refusing to let her see the tears that stung his eyes and clouded his vision.
He was unable to reply except for a shake of his head as he drew in an unsteady breath in an attempt to regain some semblance of control.
"Pace," Andie spoke again, her tone quiet yet firm, "come here."
She touched his shoulder, and he slowly turned around as another tear slid down his cheek.
Soft fingers brushed his face as Andie gently wiped it away, acting like the mother he'd always wanted but never had.
"It just hit me, you know?" His voice was a broken whisper, as he tried with out success to stop the tears, which streaked his cheeks and were cold and salty on his lips.
Andie didn't know what to say to that, but her heart ached for him.
"I mean," Pacey continued, "we weren't even all that close. He hated me, for heaven's sake. But… I just feel…"
He broke off, his lower lip beginning to tremble. More tears formed, the small droplets falling silently down his cheeks, splashing on Andie's hand, which still cupped his face tenderly.
Andie didn't think, simply acted. She reached out and embraced Pacey for the third time that morning, pulling his head down on her shoulder. A mix between a whimper and a strangled sob escaped his lips as his tears began in Ernest.
He clung to her as though she was the only thing keeping him alive, the pain that he'd been feeling all morning finally being fully exposed.
"Shh," she soothed gently. "It'll be okay, Pace. Shh…"
Somehow, she managed to move them both back onto the bed, and she lay on her side, holding Pacey close against her, his tears soaking her shirt as his ragid sobs shook them both.
Eventually his tears ceased and he laid in her arms, exhausted both emotionally and physically. The room was silent save for Pacey's breathing, which was loud and shaky.
He opened his mouth to speak, and then changed his mind.
He kissed her, his lips slick and salty with tears. They lay there kissing each other for a few minutes, until Pacey's exhaustion finally took over and he fell into a restless sleep, calmed slightly by Andie's presense and gentle embrace.
Andie wiped at her own eyes as she gave Pacey's hand a little squeeze. It made her heart break to see him in pain like that.
Slowly, as not to wake him, she slid him out of her arms and stood up.
Walking over to her closet, she pulled out a wool blanket and laid it over Pacey.
Walking into the bathroom once again, she washed her face and then returned to her bedroom. She didn't want Pacey to know she'd been crying, but it just reminded her so much of Tim's death…
Stop that, she told herself sharply. You can't be feeling sorry for yourself now, Pacey needs you.
She sat down next to Pacey and took his hand in hers. She ran her finger over his palm absently, listening to his shaky breathing, and noting the tear stains on his face.
Sometime later, the bedroom door opened. Jack stuck his head in, Joey just behind him.
"How is he?" Joey asked in a whisper, walking into the room with Jack.
"How are you?" Jack asked of his sister, both their voices filled with concern.
"I'm all right," she told him, making sure to keep her voice low, and strong.
"Dawson just called," Joey said, a slight note of bitterness in her voice at mention her x's name, "Jack told him what happened. Jen knows, too."
Andie nodded, barely listening. She sniffed. "He's asleep now," she said, squeezing Pacey's hand. He moved closer to her slightly, and Andie bent down, kissing his cheek as she attempted to hide her tears.
"We'll be downstairs if you need anything," Jack told her, and the other two left the room.
Andie lay down beside Pacey, draping her arm over his waste and closing her eyes.
She soon fell asleep, holding Pacey close.
---
Pacey's body jerked, waking both Andie and himself.
For a few moments he was confused to his surroundings, and to why he had been asleep in the middle of the morning, but then the events of the previous night came back sharply.
"Are you okay?" Andie's voice was soft, and she sat up on her bed.
"Sort of," he said truthfully, sitting up as well.
She reached out and put her arms around him, not really sure if she wanted to give him comfort or ask for it herself.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice muffled by her hair.
"I will be," she reassured him.
He raised his head and looked down, his eyes apologetic. "I know this must be hard on you, too."
She held him tighter, and spoke softly, a small smile on her angelic face.
"Don't worry about me," she told him, her voice both firm and gentle. "I'll be okay. You just try to get through this, all right? And when you need someone… I'll be here."
"Always?"
"Always."
"Thanks… so will I."
"I thought so."
Their voices had become softer as their faces drew closer.
After Andie's last statement, their lips finally touched in a kiss so full of emotion that it was almost painful in its intensity.
---
About an hour later, the doorbell rang. Pacey and Andie came down from where they had been exchanging stories about Doug and Tim respectively. Both their faces were tearstained, but they were smiling.
"Hey," Jack was saying to Dawson. Jen was just behind him, as was Joey with Jack.
Dawson and Joey avoided making eye contact, and Jack and Jen exchanged a nervous glance, sensing the tension between their friends.
"Hey, guys," Pacey said from the bottom of the stairs.
All 4 teens turned to face Pacey and Andie, who stood watching them hand-in-hand.
"Hey, man," Dawson greeted hesitantly. "I'm real sorry…"
Pacey nodded, exchanging a look with Andie.
"Get used to it," she said. "I'm sorry never helps the pain go away, but everyone says it anyway."
"Nope," Jen agreed, walking towards them. "Never does."
She reached out and abruptly hugged Pacey, breaking his and Andie's hands apart.
It wasn't as awkward as he'd expected, and he returned the embrace, smelling her perfume and feeling the dampness of her hair against his cheek.
"How you holding up?" She asked softly, rubbing his back.
"Living," he said honestly, leaning his face into her hair.
"Hang in there," she murmured, drawing back.
He managed a weak smile as they broke apart completely. "Will do," he promised, his eyes straying back to Andie. 'And she'll help me,' he thought, an immense feeling of gratitude and warmth filling his heart as he saw Andie looking back at him.
Author's notes:
I'm sorry this has taken so long! Scarily enough, last night I was considering deleting this fic for good and sticking with writing Smallville fics. Then I looked through the Dawson's Creek section, and seeing that mine was the only P/A fic for aaages, I decided I couldn't.
I don't now when the next part will be up, but it'll most likely contain child abuse… and more crying Pacey!
Oh, and that last part between Jen and Pacey was just suppose to be andI know how you feel' scene. Jen and Pacey have a sweet friendship in my opinion and can really relate to each other a lot in certain things.
Anyway, please review!
Thanks bunches!
Bunches? Since when do I say 'bunches?' Freaky… I need sleep… and more P/A. ::Nudges readers:: Get busy writing!