Chapter 2: Shadows That Hide The Way
-by Ajora Fravashi
-Disclaimer - If you believe I own the rights to Digimon, you are a moron.
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In comparison to most Japanese cities, Tokamachi was small, quaint, and blissfully laid-back in the mid-afternoon. The mountain breeze tickled his senses with the unfamiliar odor of fresh air and, with the advent of autumn, that breeze carried a distinct chill. The leaves of local deciduous trees were turning a brilliant orange-red, lending credence to his suspicion that the town served more as a tourist attraction than anything else. It was rather nice, all things considered. Nice enough to almost forget-
The tinny little jingle of his cell phone penetrated his reverie and demanded attention. With a sigh, he pulled it from a pocket and hoped whoever was calling would at least get it over with soon.
"Li Jianliang, I hope you realize what an incredibly stupid thing you're doing by agreeing to go alone." Ruki's voice was nearly ice over the phone, making him wonder vaguely if she was more worried than she let on. "Why didn't you take any of the digimon?"
Oh great, an impeding argument with Ruki now, just before the one he expected once he confronted Ryo, was just what he needed. "Don't you need them for that raid you've been planning for weeks now? The one that's supposed to happen tonight?"
"You know we can spare one." There was a brief pause in which he could faintly imagine her preparing to verbally rip into him. "We already lost too many to Millenniumon, we're not going to lose you too-"
"I'm meeting Ryo at a pub in neutral territory. I don't think Millenniumon would have much of an opportunity to do anything more than glare daggers at me. And he's human now, so even if he did turn up to attack, I believe I'm adequate enough in martial arts that I can defend myself."
Ruki muttered something that sounded more like a mix of disgust and amusement than anything else before responding. "Careful, you're starting to sound like Ryo. See where that kind of self-confidence got him? Stuck in a dog collar with Millenniumon holding the leash."
Jianliang winced at the thought. Bad mental image! ...Kind of nice, though, if he ignored the Millenniumon factor. Ugh. "Yes, well," he started, then cut the sentence off before he gave into the urge to make a sarcastic response, and bringing up the fact that the joke was in poor taste would be pointless right now. "Nevermind. Have any messages you want passed along that don't include death threats?"
"Well, besides the usual 'I hate you and hope your own minions kill you as slowly and horribly as possible' for Millenniumon and 'You're a fucking moron for ever letting Millenniumon get his dirty claws on you' for Ryo, let me think about it."
A brief hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Jianliang's lips at that. All things considered, Ruki seemed to be taking it rather well. "Anything else?"
"Takato forgot to mention that the authors' copies of his and Shaochung's manga are coming in next week, so if Ryo wants one, say something before your little sister goes and passes them out to the entire firm." Ruki paused for a moment, then spoke with a tone that held a hint of malicious glee. "Oh, and he has to be here on New Year's Eve or I will personally pay him a visit and use his own whip on him. That should be it for now because I, for one, have something important to do."
"Naturally. Good luck with the raid."
"You're the one who needs luck. It's going to take a lot of that to do what you've been planning."
"Glad to see you have so much confidence in me," he replied with a half-smile.
"Always. You will report back to me when you're done with this fiasco. No excuse. If I don't hear from you by 9 p.m., I will order Ai and Shaochung to send the rescue party after you. And do be careful." With that, Ruki hung up.
Rather grateful that the call hadn't ended in the argument he had expected, Jianliang returned to the task of finding the pub. Fortunately, it was not all that hard to come across since the instructions were easy to follow. Now if only Ryo would be that effortless to deal with. It was probably too much to hope for.
Shuan was a quaint little hole-in-the-wall type pub nestled at an intersection a few blocks away from the train station. Its signs were modest, traditional affairs with hand-painted calligraphy on both the white Chinese-style lantern hanging to the left of the entrance and the wooden board nailed to the right. Inside, past the sliding wood and paper door, was a space with neatly ordered rows of tables and chairs that could probably hold fifty people at the most. Faintly Jianliang wondered if it had ever hosted any group with numbers over half that amount. And, at this point in the afternoon, the only people in the pub were seated on either side of the bar proper and seemed to be chatting in that comfortable manner of those who had known each other for awhile. The barkeeper who doubled as cook was a small, thin man with diminishing streaks of black in his grey hair and the leathery skin of someone who spent his youth behind a plow. Seated on the customers' side of the bar was a very familiar figure in a black leather motorcycle jacket with matching boots and pants, a faded blue shirt, and the kind of red scarf one would only find in older seasons of Kamen Rider or on Justimon. Jianliang's eyebrows rose at that and wondered faintly just who did all the shopping for Ryo. Really, Ryo did not seem the type to pick out black leather on his own, even if he did look good in it.
The old barkeeper was the first to notice Jianliang and excused himself from the conversation briefly to bow formally to the young man. "Welcome! I regret to inform you of this, but we don't formally open until six in the evening. Please do come back later."
"Don't worry, he's with me," said the eldest Tamer with a rather impish grin on his face as he turned to wave at Jianliang. "Just put everything on my tab. Oh, and before I forget: Akiyama Nobuyoshi, this is Li Jianliang."
Jianliang and the old man he was introduced to bowed to each other respectfully. As Akiyama Nobuyoshi placed a bottle of sake before them and excused himself to grant them some privacy under the excuse of checking inventory, Jianliang wondered at the name. Ryo had other relatives? Why hadn't he heard anything about this? More to the point... "So, where's your shadow?"
Ryo gave a wry half-smile at the question. Jianliang was never one for much small-talk, so it came as no surprise that this was the first thing he asked. "He discovered the pleasures of getting thoroughly trashed on drugs that have long gone out of style for this time period. Good thing you e-mailed when you did, or I'd have to listen to him ramble on the harmonies of subatomic particles for the next few hours."
"What drug," Jianliang asked as he fought down the urge to frown at this new information. Not only was Millenniumon an arrogant bastard with a penchant to insult anyone who wasn't Ryo and was most likely abusing his own partner, but now he was apparently a drug addict too. As if Millenniumon needed any more revulsive traits.
"Eh, some green liquor that smells like Juri's floral perfumes, back when-... Well, he calls it 'la Fée Verte.' I knew that trip to France was a bad idea." Ryo paused for a moment to glance at Jianliang, then wondered faintly what the worry on the boy's face was all about. "At least it calms him and he actually stays lucid, so I won't complain."
They sat in silence afterwards, which was only interrupted by sips of warm sake ever so often. Jianliang's eyes wandered a bit as he toyed with seeds of thought that had yet to reach full realization. A tiny little pub with no one else around wasn't exactly as public as he'd like, but it was the only neutral territory Ryo would agree to meet at. There was a chance of running into the other Tamers in Tokyo, which he didn't want to do because he'd never get around to saying things that needed to be said, or risk Millenniumon's ire by visiting that little cottage he and Ryo shared, and Jianliang would really rather not deal with either factors at the moment. Even if Millenniumon was happily sedated with a glass of absinthe.
Time to break the ice. "It's been awhile since we've actually talked."
"Yeah. I think you're the only one that still bothers to contact me without wanting to bite my head off or guilt-trip me out of my choices." Ryo flashed a quick grin. "Not that I've ever been very easy to find."
The tiniest of smiles quirked on Jianliang's lips in response. "I'm not so sure. You've always been an e-mail away."
Ryo gave a noncommittal grunt and poured another cup of sake. "When I'm not on assignment, anyway. So, what did you really want to talk about?"
With a sigh, Jianliang lowered his tiny sake cup to the table's surface. It had to be said sooner or later. "Every time I see you, you have a new bruise with no explanation how it got there. Hell, you were even limping at one point. You don't come to visit the rest of us as much as you used to. And when you do decide to visit, that ba- ... Millenniumon hovers like he owns you and then stares at the rest of us like we're bugs to be squashed. All of us know what he wants of you, and we've pretty much come to the conclusion that he finally got what he wanted. Repeatedly. We know you don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend, and haven't had one since the ENIAC made Millenniumon human. And I'll have you know that while you and Ruki were making up for years of sexual tension after Takato's party, all the digimon had to restrain your partner from destroying anything. There are people who would be much better suited for you. I came to tell you that we're worried."
"So what exactly are you saying," Ryo asked with a carefully neutral tone.
"All the signs suggest that he has been abusing you." Fighting the urge to flinch at the very thought, the younger man plowed onwards. "It's been five years, long past the time you said was allocated for his recovery. Why else would you stick with him?"
Silence descended as Ryo mulled over Jianliang's words. There was a certain truth in them, but it was never that severe, was it? Perhaps it was time to explain everything, after all. "Well, that's not entirely true. But it's not all false either. It's complicated. If you want to spare yourself a headache, we can drop the subject."
Jianliang straightened attentively. At least he'd finally get some real answers. "No, I'll stay."
"Very well." Ryo finished off his cup of sake before continuing, then used the tiny cup as something to fidget with as he explained. "First, the injuries are pretty much my fault. He'll end up saying or doing something that riles me up, I attack him, and he retaliates. Sometimes he ends up with more bruises than I do." A tiny smirk crossed Ryo's face at that, but it soon disappeared as he went on. "In the early stages, just looking at him would piss me off. I don't suppose you'd understand what it's like to be partnered with someone like him and then expected to take care of him just because he's sick in the head. We've had a very long, very venomous history. When the ENIAC decided to make him human, I thought I'd be rid of him the moment he didn't need antipsychotics anymore.
"Now for the second part: I know he loves me, and despite several years trying to persuade him otherwise, there's nothing I can do to change it. During the early stages, I fought his advances and refused to let him touch me. After awhile I eventually gave in out of sheer hormonal desperation, because at the time he was the only one around who was willing and compatible. At the very least, he knows I can't love him back and doesn't make an issue about it. That's something surprisingly few people are willing to accept. The few times I have dated someone, they wanted what I couldn't give them. Milek doesn't expect or ask for me to return his feelings. He's not as possessive as he used to be before the change, so most of his possessiveness and verbal abuse now is an act of old habits. Finally, despite outward appearance, he's still my digimon partner, in spirit if not body. I can no sooner abandon him than cut off my own shadow. Yes, he has done horrible things, and I still haven't gotten over some of those things, but I will stand by him."
A sigh escaped Jianliang before he gathered the wits enough to prevent it. Well, his chances were certainly dwindling. "But he's not good for you." It sounded so much more pathetic when he spoke those words aloud.
"Who's to say anyone is bad for anyone else to be involved with," Ryo asked philosophically as he continued to toy with the sake cup.
"He's your worst enemy. He killed humans and digimon in cold blood, nearly destroyed entire worlds-"
The tiny cup was set down upon the bar with enough force to break Jianliang's diatribe. He blinked in surprise as he glanced at Ryo, who was pointedly staring at the cup and nowhere else. What was that about? Before he could ask, however, he was answered.
"There was something he told me once, after the breaking. 'He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster.' Wanna know why he said that?"
Wait. Of course he'd like to know, but... "Well, yes, but what's that about 'breaking'?"
Ryo closed his eyes and frowned slightly. "Sorry, I never mentioned it. Wouldn't mention it at all, but he's not around to hear and I know you won't repeat anything I've said. People with Milek's disorder... They're so caught up in themselves that they don't see other people as equals. They have little or no empathy whatsoever. The only other people they have any consideration for are those they actually deem worthy of respect. I was the only one he ever respected, and because of that he would only listen to me."
"That's nice, but what does-" Jianliang began, then mentally smacked himself for his sarcasm. "Sorry. Go on."
"It's okay." Ryo started playing with the cup again, turning it between his fingers as his eyes became unfocused. "Well, once the ENIAC figured that out, I had to strike him down psychologically because I was the only one Milek would listen to. Tore down every delusion he had, shattered his view of the universe, forced him to see what he really was. It was hard. It hurt." There was a pause as the eldest Tamer swallowed down what sounded like a lump in his throat. Briefly Jianliang wanted to reach out and comfort him, but the temptation was quickly squashed. "And when he said that, I realized how easily it could have been me in his place. I was just lucky because I had never gone through the exact same things he did."
"But you haven't-" Jianliang nearly jumped when the cup dropped and Ryo's fist suddenly fell on it, leaving it in a myriad of white sherds on dark polished wood.
"Killed?" Ryo asked the sherds. His voice was weird now, distant. It always seemed to get that way when Ryo talked about his time before meeting the other Tamers. "I've killed before. Several times. The Holy Beasts of the other world made me the perfect soldier, you know. I never questioned my orders back then. 'The good of the many outweigh the lives of a few.' So am I really so different from him?"
With a sigh, Jianliang tried to compose his thoughts. He knew from the start that this wasn't going to be easy, but did Ryo really have to make it more difficult than it should have been? "Do you ever regret those sacrifices?"
"Of course."
"Then by that alone you're better than him." It rather was a clumsy attempt, but it was something.
Ryo said nothing, seemingly content to stare at the cup's sherds. The silence that hung between them now was an uncomfortable thing that encouraged Jianliang to follow a train of thought that he really did not enjoy.
In the past half-hour he had heard more truth from Ryo than he had for the past few years. While it was still a bit baffling that Ryo would even defend his former nemesis, Jianliang was forced to realize that something else was going on. Sympathy perhaps, or guilt. Those were the only reasons he could gather for Ryo remaining with Millenniumon that way. Loyalty was nice and all, but one could still refuse such advances. Unless there was rape involved, but-
"It's 5:30:35 p.m. We should probably head out and let Nobuyoshi start setting up the place for tonight."
Jianliang blinked as his train of thought got derailed. He hadn't noticed Ryo looking at a watch. Bemused, he took a glance at his own and wondered how Ryo could be so accurate without an available timepiece. "Er, I suppose so."
In curiosity he watched as Ryo's friendly, happy mask settled in when Nobuyoshi was called out from the storeroom and apologies for the broken cup were made. Then, as if someone had thrown a switch, the discussion between the two Akiyamas became completely unintelligible. Completely bewildered, Jianliang could only stare as they spoke a language he had never heard before. It sounded Japanese, except for those points where sounds were spoken that didn't exist in Japanese, but he couldn't make heads or tails of it. All he could tell was that the barkeeper wasn't at all upset with Ryo, seemed to be requesting something that Ryo agreed to, and there were sounds of what looked to be farewells before Nobuyoshi disappeared behind a door and Ryo turned to watch him warily.
"Do you want to continue this elsewhere," Ryo asked a little too hopefully. How peculiar.
"Why can't we stay here?"
"Because Nobuyoshi's daughter comes in to work at six, and I would really prefer to be elsewhere." Once he recognized Jianliang's inquisitive look, Ryo's voice took on a rather sheepish tone. "She, er, fancies me and isn't really my type."
Jianliang merely blinked at that. Did Ryo completely fail to notice that he seldom ever let anyone into his personal space, or the looks? What did the girl do to get Ryo to notice she was interested, whack him with a club? More to the point... "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't she related to you?"
It was Ryo's turn to look bewildered. "No! What gave you that idea?"
"You and her father have the same surname, and you act familiar around him." It was a logical conclusion!
"Oh." Much to his surprise, Ryo actually chuckled for a moment. It was genuine. "Nobuyoshi's family comes from a group of villages about thirty kilometers south of here called Akiyama. So did mine, a few hundred years ago. Thing was, those villages was a refuge camp for defeated soldiers during the Edo period, and over time they all took on the collective name for the villages as their own. Probably to shed any past allegiances with the warlords of the time. So, the Akiyama name stuck, but most of us are completely unrelated. Believe it or not, in the village I'm staying in there are at least three people named Akiyama Ryo, two of which are women."
A comfortable smile settled on Jianliang's features. Almost like old times, before the war. "Ah, so you did choose to hide from your fandom. I wondered why you moved to some backwater village."
"Hiding in plain sight." Ryo actually gave him a quick smile before leading him out of the pub. Oddly enough, Jianliang hardly noticed being led out at all. It was nice when Ryo's smiles weren't fake. "The locals don't even know what digimon are, let alone care to know. I'm just the man who occasionally runs errands to town for the elderly and provides the entertainment."
"Entertainment?"
Ryo paused to straddle a rugged old motorcycle that seemed worse for wear. It was painted dark blue for the most part, but patches of tougher camouflage-patterned paint showed through in places where the blue had chipped away. "We'll probably never completely diminish Milek's anger issues, but kendo matches seem to help redirect the worst of it. When he's really mad I give him his bokken, yank him outside, and we fight for awhile. Once the villagers got used to seeing us, they started taking bets the outcomes and it became something regular. They love us for it, Milek works out his anger, I get some practice in defending myself, and we get free food. Everyone wins."
Jianliang's smile faded with the mention of Millenniumon, though he didn't think Ryo even noticed. Hell, Ryo was even humming as he pulled a couple of motorcycle helmets from the pile of random junk in the sidecar. It was probably better not to remark on it quite yet.
"Where are we going?"
"Oh, just the cultural center to drop something off for one of the staff members. It starts getting quiet around this time and we can get away with hanging around to talk for as long as necessary." Ryo offered him a helmet with an impish grin. "If you want to come along. Don't you wanna take a ride with me?."
Cautiously he took the helmet and stared down at it. Jianliang didn't know why he was nervous, since Ryo hadn't drunk anything more than the few sips a small sake cup would allow and it took a lot more to get the older man drunk, but he was. Maybe it was because so much of this was still puzzling him and he still hadn't come to a satisfactory conclusion. Maybe it was because, even with what he knew, he had no idea what to do. He had hesitated before and lost Takato to Juri, later to Juri's friend, and most recently to Ruki. But then, he never really had a chance with someone who was actually straight. With a scant few people to choose from and Ryo's bisexuality never in question...
Impulsiveness was seldom something he indulged in, but when he looked up to catch Ryo's elfin blue eyes glancing curiously at him, he gave in to it for the first time in a very long while.
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- Note: Ryo's bike is a rather old military issue URAL IMZ-8.107 heavy motorcycle. Given that it's built to withstand the worst any terrain or war can offer, I figured it would be suitable for Ryo to have one, even if it has survived a few battles. It has also turned up in my other fic series, Knight of Swords.
The dialect Ryo speaks with Nobuyoshi is properly termed the Koakazawa dialect, though in previous centuries it was known as the Akiyama language. Some linguists believe it developed in the middle of the Edo period, circa 1700's, when the colony was founded.
PS - This has gotten much longer than I planned, so there will be two more chapters after this one.