Ron had hidden Hermione and himself underneath the invisibility cloak within seconds. He could not understand what drew Tom Riddle – Voldemort to his sister. He could hear Harry breathing heavily as they descended the stairs. Could Harry be the reason? He wasn't dangerous – danger came to him. Ron couldn't blame everything on Harry, although he vaguely wondered what drove Voldemort to want him dead. He'd heard the reasoning before. Harry, the heir of Slytherin – which he knew wasn't true. Tom Riddle was, and unless Voldemort was Harry's father, Harry couldn't be less like the heir. Harry the "Dark wizard in hiding" was another popular myth that had commenced with Hannah Abbot. But Ron had thought of another possibility which Hermione had scoffed at. Perhaps Harry was the heir of Gryffindor. He could almost see Hermione's response ("Oh please Ron, if Harry were the heir of Gryffindor don't you think we would have known?"). It was true that Hermione HAD read everything there was to read about Harry, but there were a lot of things they didn't know. When they had hastily (and rudely as she said) awoken the Fat Lady, she glared at them but reluctantly opened, letting them out into the castle.
"Now," hissed Hermione, "We have to think about when we last saw Ginny, where was she?"
"I last saw her in Hogsmede, with Dean, walking past Zonko's," Ron whispered.
"Me to," Hermione agreed.
They both looked expectantly at Harry. He could feel their gaze against the back of his neck as they walked on. He had already thought of when he'd last seen her. He'd already seen her crushing underneath his lies. He'd already regretted everything that he'd said and put her through. Her image resided in his mind. It was more numbing than the prospect of Voldemort. Just put one foot in front of the other, he reminded himself.
"I saw her..." he whispered, "I saw her in Hogsmede."
"Okay," Hermione repeated, "So we know she was in Hogsmede,"
"In the Three Broomsticks, with him," Harry finished.
"With V..voldemort?" Ron asked loudly.
"With Dean Thomas," Harry whispered, not blinking, just walking.
It was all he could do.
"So she could be anywhere, obviously she came back to the castle, I mean if not Dean would be frantic, we would –"
"They broke up," Harry felt the words roll off his lips, feeling as though he hadn't said anything at all.
There was no emotion in his voice as he spoke. It sent shivers up Hermione's spine.
"You saw them break up?" Hermione asked, shocked.
"She told me, when..." Harry stopped.
He felt Ron and Hermione both collide into him. Why hadn't he thought of it before? How could he have been so stupid? He threw the invisibility cloak off of himself.
"Harry!" Ron protested, "Where are you going?"
"Harry," Hermione shrieked, "Come back, it's dangerous. He could be anywhere!"
Harry ignored them, as he broke into a run down the dark corridors.
"Harry!" he heard them yell, and then he heard their footsteps following him.
"Where are you going?"
"Has he gone mad?"
But Harry hadn't gone mad; he knew exactly where he was going. He was going where he knew she'd be.
He ran as fast as he could down the first three flights of stairs, and paused as the fourth one decided to switch to a new landing. Fate was on his side. He didn't want Hermione or Ron to follow them, and he realized they were still stuck on the second staircase, which was now shifting towards the great hall.
"Harry!" They called, their voices were frantic, but he knew they'd understand.
He ran on, and after descending the seventh stair case Harry found himself in the entrance hall. He pushed the doors open with both hands, and found himself back in the rain. He could hear the dying leaves rustling in the strong wind. Although it wasn't raining quite as hard as before, the rain and wind were both chilling. He ran down the marble steps only tripping once. The fields were soaked with the falling rain, and Harry slid across the slick grass. He was heading straight for the quidditch pitch, knowing she'd be there, crying for him. He knew she wouldn't be crying for very long. This prospect only made him run faster.
"Ginny!" he called into the wind.
He knew she wouldn't be able to hear him, but just saying her name made him feel that much better. He threw the doors to the Gryffindor change room open and rushed in, his hair and robes dripping with water and his trainers leaving mud stains on the floor. He knew before the night was over that Filch would have his head, but none of that mattered.
He found her in the corner of the room, her robes still dark with dampness, her hair drying on her sleeves. She had her beautiful eyes closed, her head was resting on her knees and he smiled watching as she breathed slowly.
He walked lightly towards her, falling to his knees.
"Oh Ginny," he whispered, touching her hair lightly, feeling his chest swell with relief.
He wanted to laugh and cry and howl and scream at the same time. She was here, she was alive, and she was perfect. There was no Voldemort, and he wondered vaguely if this was just a nightmare with a good ending. He could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest, and he hopped the sound wouldn't wake her up.
He could feel his chest swelling, and he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat with shame. He knew it was only a matter of time before Ron and Hermione burst in, breathless and wet. He closed his eyes, this was it. He had come to face the only thing he was afraid of. Fear. The fear of loving her; but he'd realized that even if she didn't know, even if she wasn't his he would still love her. He would always love Ginny Weasley. He reached out to touch her with shaking hands.
She moaned softly, shifting her head. He watched as her eyes slowly blinked open in to narrow slits before bursting open with surprise.
"Harry," she cried, "What are you doing here? What time is it?"
"Oh Ginny," he sighed.
He stared into her eyes, saddened as he watched fresh tears pool in them.
"What are you doing here? Please leave me alone." She said, emotionless.
"Ginny," he smiled, reaching up at touching the tiny tears that had leaked out of her eyes, "I am so sorry."
"Sorry?" Ginny asked, pulling away from his touch, "You are sorry?"
Harry winced.
"Do you have any idea Harry? Any idea at all, what it's like to live your life going out with boy after boy looking for someone to fill the spot in your heart that is meant for somebody else?" Ginny cried, all of her tears welling over, "What it's like to watch the one you love, and long for them with all your heart, come so close to having them, but then having to turn away? Do you know what that's like?"
"Yes Ginny, I do." Harry whispered.
"How could you possibly understand?"
"Ginny, I've been so afraid."
"Afraid?"
"Yes," he sighed.
"Of what Harry?" She demanded.
"Ginny..."
"WHAT?" she cried, frustrated.
"Ginny, I am afraid," he whispered, "of loving you."
"You...you're..." she sputtered.
"I couldn't admit to myself that I loved you, because I was so afraid that as soon as I did, Voldemort would come for you, come and steal you from me, as he has stolen everything else."
"Harry," she whispered.
"But you are nothing like Sirius, or Cedric, or even my parents," Harry whispered, touching her face softly, "You are the only thing that keeps me going, keeps me believing in myself. You're the reason I breathe, I cannot go on with out you, and you are everything to me."
He watched as her lower lip began trembling.
"But no matter how many times I say I don't love you to myself, or try to push you away, you seem to be the only thing that I can think of, and feel. Ginny, pretending I don't love you is too hard. You are the reason I am so strong Gin, but you make me so weak," Harry explained, taking large deep breathes, "Look, you take my breath away, by just sitting there, I've been going insane lately watching you with Dean, and battling with my self, trying to be noble and not love you. I realized, that even if I didn't tell you I love you, and even if weren't together He would still know because Ginny, I can't tell my heart what to do, and it's screaming at me to kiss you."
He broke off, breathing heavily, leaning against her as she pushed herself against the wall. He felt her fingers touch his face as she stared at him with disbelieving eyes.
"Believe me Gin, feel my heart," he whispered taking her hand in his and moving to his throat
She smiled as she felt his pulse raising.
"I believe you," She told him.
He licked his lips as she closed her eyes.
"Oh Ginny," he whispered lowering his mouth closer to hers, "I love you,"
When their mouths finally did meet, Harry felt his chest burst with happiness. He felt the guilty weight lift off of his shoulders as she ran her fingers through his wet hair. He could feel her soft lips brushing against his, the moan fighting to escape the back of her throat. He could feel his own fingers exploring her cheeks and neck. She reached around to the back of his head and pulled him in closer. He opened his eyes in surprise when she parted her lips and invited him into a deeper kiss, her tongue running across his lips. He gave into her completely and the only thing he thought about from that point on was the feeling that had finally replaced his numbness.
I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore
My tears no longer waiting...my resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending that I don't love you anymore
Let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you
Cause there's no one else I swear, holds a candle, anywhere, next to you
My heart can't take the beating of not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul...
It says I can't keep pretending that I don't love you anymore
I've got to take the chance or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
With my life...
And I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore
And I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore
My tears no longer waiting
Oh, my resistance ain't that strong
Oh, my mind keeps recreating a love with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore...
"Now," hissed Hermione, "We have to think about when we last saw Ginny, where was she?"
"I last saw her in Hogsmede, with Dean, walking past Zonko's," Ron whispered.
"Me to," Hermione agreed.
They both looked expectantly at Harry. He could feel their gaze against the back of his neck as they walked on. He had already thought of when he'd last seen her. He'd already seen her crushing underneath his lies. He'd already regretted everything that he'd said and put her through. Her image resided in his mind. It was more numbing than the prospect of Voldemort. Just put one foot in front of the other, he reminded himself.
"I saw her..." he whispered, "I saw her in Hogsmede."
"Okay," Hermione repeated, "So we know she was in Hogsmede,"
"In the Three Broomsticks, with him," Harry finished.
"With V..voldemort?" Ron asked loudly.
"With Dean Thomas," Harry whispered, not blinking, just walking.
It was all he could do.
"So she could be anywhere, obviously she came back to the castle, I mean if not Dean would be frantic, we would –"
"They broke up," Harry felt the words roll off his lips, feeling as though he hadn't said anything at all.
There was no emotion in his voice as he spoke. It sent shivers up Hermione's spine.
"You saw them break up?" Hermione asked, shocked.
"She told me, when..." Harry stopped.
He felt Ron and Hermione both collide into him. Why hadn't he thought of it before? How could he have been so stupid? He threw the invisibility cloak off of himself.
"Harry!" Ron protested, "Where are you going?"
"Harry," Hermione shrieked, "Come back, it's dangerous. He could be anywhere!"
Harry ignored them, as he broke into a run down the dark corridors.
"Harry!" he heard them yell, and then he heard their footsteps following him.
"Where are you going?"
"Has he gone mad?"
But Harry hadn't gone mad; he knew exactly where he was going. He was going where he knew she'd be.
He ran as fast as he could down the first three flights of stairs, and paused as the fourth one decided to switch to a new landing. Fate was on his side. He didn't want Hermione or Ron to follow them, and he realized they were still stuck on the second staircase, which was now shifting towards the great hall.
"Harry!" They called, their voices were frantic, but he knew they'd understand.
He ran on, and after descending the seventh stair case Harry found himself in the entrance hall. He pushed the doors open with both hands, and found himself back in the rain. He could hear the dying leaves rustling in the strong wind. Although it wasn't raining quite as hard as before, the rain and wind were both chilling. He ran down the marble steps only tripping once. The fields were soaked with the falling rain, and Harry slid across the slick grass. He was heading straight for the quidditch pitch, knowing she'd be there, crying for him. He knew she wouldn't be crying for very long. This prospect only made him run faster.
"Ginny!" he called into the wind.
He knew she wouldn't be able to hear him, but just saying her name made him feel that much better. He threw the doors to the Gryffindor change room open and rushed in, his hair and robes dripping with water and his trainers leaving mud stains on the floor. He knew before the night was over that Filch would have his head, but none of that mattered.
He found her in the corner of the room, her robes still dark with dampness, her hair drying on her sleeves. She had her beautiful eyes closed, her head was resting on her knees and he smiled watching as she breathed slowly.
He walked lightly towards her, falling to his knees.
"Oh Ginny," he whispered, touching her hair lightly, feeling his chest swell with relief.
He wanted to laugh and cry and howl and scream at the same time. She was here, she was alive, and she was perfect. There was no Voldemort, and he wondered vaguely if this was just a nightmare with a good ending. He could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest, and he hopped the sound wouldn't wake her up.
He could feel his chest swelling, and he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat with shame. He knew it was only a matter of time before Ron and Hermione burst in, breathless and wet. He closed his eyes, this was it. He had come to face the only thing he was afraid of. Fear. The fear of loving her; but he'd realized that even if she didn't know, even if she wasn't his he would still love her. He would always love Ginny Weasley. He reached out to touch her with shaking hands.
She moaned softly, shifting her head. He watched as her eyes slowly blinked open in to narrow slits before bursting open with surprise.
"Harry," she cried, "What are you doing here? What time is it?"
"Oh Ginny," he sighed.
He stared into her eyes, saddened as he watched fresh tears pool in them.
"What are you doing here? Please leave me alone." She said, emotionless.
"Ginny," he smiled, reaching up at touching the tiny tears that had leaked out of her eyes, "I am so sorry."
"Sorry?" Ginny asked, pulling away from his touch, "You are sorry?"
Harry winced.
"Do you have any idea Harry? Any idea at all, what it's like to live your life going out with boy after boy looking for someone to fill the spot in your heart that is meant for somebody else?" Ginny cried, all of her tears welling over, "What it's like to watch the one you love, and long for them with all your heart, come so close to having them, but then having to turn away? Do you know what that's like?"
"Yes Ginny, I do." Harry whispered.
"How could you possibly understand?"
"Ginny, I've been so afraid."
"Afraid?"
"Yes," he sighed.
"Of what Harry?" She demanded.
"Ginny..."
"WHAT?" she cried, frustrated.
"Ginny, I am afraid," he whispered, "of loving you."
"You...you're..." she sputtered.
"I couldn't admit to myself that I loved you, because I was so afraid that as soon as I did, Voldemort would come for you, come and steal you from me, as he has stolen everything else."
"Harry," she whispered.
"But you are nothing like Sirius, or Cedric, or even my parents," Harry whispered, touching her face softly, "You are the only thing that keeps me going, keeps me believing in myself. You're the reason I breathe, I cannot go on with out you, and you are everything to me."
He watched as her lower lip began trembling.
"But no matter how many times I say I don't love you to myself, or try to push you away, you seem to be the only thing that I can think of, and feel. Ginny, pretending I don't love you is too hard. You are the reason I am so strong Gin, but you make me so weak," Harry explained, taking large deep breathes, "Look, you take my breath away, by just sitting there, I've been going insane lately watching you with Dean, and battling with my self, trying to be noble and not love you. I realized, that even if I didn't tell you I love you, and even if weren't together He would still know because Ginny, I can't tell my heart what to do, and it's screaming at me to kiss you."
He broke off, breathing heavily, leaning against her as she pushed herself against the wall. He felt her fingers touch his face as she stared at him with disbelieving eyes.
"Believe me Gin, feel my heart," he whispered taking her hand in his and moving to his throat
She smiled as she felt his pulse raising.
"I believe you," She told him.
He licked his lips as she closed her eyes.
"Oh Ginny," he whispered lowering his mouth closer to hers, "I love you,"
When their mouths finally did meet, Harry felt his chest burst with happiness. He felt the guilty weight lift off of his shoulders as she ran her fingers through his wet hair. He could feel her soft lips brushing against his, the moan fighting to escape the back of her throat. He could feel his own fingers exploring her cheeks and neck. She reached around to the back of his head and pulled him in closer. He opened his eyes in surprise when she parted her lips and invited him into a deeper kiss, her tongue running across his lips. He gave into her completely and the only thing he thought about from that point on was the feeling that had finally replaced his numbness.
I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore
My tears no longer waiting...my resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending that I don't love you anymore
Let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you
Cause there's no one else I swear, holds a candle, anywhere, next to you
My heart can't take the beating of not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul...
It says I can't keep pretending that I don't love you anymore
I've got to take the chance or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
With my life...
And I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore
And I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore
My tears no longer waiting
Oh, my resistance ain't that strong
Oh, my mind keeps recreating a love with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore...