Hidden Feelings
Ch.7
AN: Okay, so where were we.Ah, yes! Jean was about to die.
"Time to die."
Jean was terrified. She didn't know what to do. All she could smell was the alcohol. All she could feel was the bone-crushing grip Duncan had on her and the cold, sharp edge of the steel blade pressed into her skin.all she could think about was Rogue.
"Not so arrogant now, are we?" Duncan scoffed as he jerked on her head, almost snapping her neck in the process.
"Let go of me!"
"I don't think so. I'm gonna teach you a lesson and then your friend over there is gonna get it." He smiled maniacally at her from over her shoulder.
"You even think about touching her and I guarantee, you won't have the chance to live to regret it." Her voice was laced with steel and she tried to twist from his grasp but her only pulled on her head harder and pressed the blade deeper into the sensitive skin of her neck. Blood began to make a slow trickle down her throat.
"Yeah?! You just go ahead an' try. What can you do to me, huh?! What can you possibly do? I'm the one with the knife! I'm the one in control! I'm the one with the power!" Duncan's voice reverberated around the empty parking lot. He was not thinking as he used the hand that was holding the knife, to jab at his chest with his thumb. Jean made her move then, using her telekinesis she flung him away from her and into one of the cars nearby. His friends, who could do nothing but stare at the large dent created by the impact. Like their leader, they were not paying attention to their captive. Rogue managed to jab the one who was holding her in the ribs, forcing the air from his lungs and him to loosen his hold. She moved away from him enough to deliver a powerful roundhouse kick his head, her body calling out in protestation. The drunken teen spun around twice before falling flat on his face. Jean could only smile at her, relieved that she was not seriously harmed but then the third member of Duncan's drunken party came up behind Rogue.
"Rogue, watch out!"
Before he knew what hit him, Rogue had whirled around and delivered a crushing uppercut to his lower jaw, she cringed as her upper body was forced to stretch. Jean could hear the crunch of bone as the force of the impact broke the young man's jaw. He fell like a rock and ended up partly strewn across the parking barrier and his friend. Rogue looked down at the sad mess before her and dusted her hands off. When she turned around she was smirking as if to say, 'I've been waiting to do that for a long time.' She made her way slowly to Jean, holding her bruised ribs that were throbbing from the beating she had taken from the two boys. She was almost to her when Duncan appeared behind her, his knife poised above him, ready to strike like the serpent that he was.
"Jean!" The warning came too late as Jean whirled around and found a blade sinking into her abdomen. She looked into Duncan's face and saw a deranged man.
"I told you, you'd pay." He jerked the blade back and stepped back, blood splattering the front of his jacket. Jean quietly slipped to the ground in front of him clutching her side as her blood stained the ground; the lights overhead cast an eerie glow.
Rogue watched as Jean slipped to the ground, gasping. She watched as her blood poured forth, staining her hands and the ground on which she now laid.. She snapped. She didn't think as she slipped off her glove and lunged towards Duncan, only one thought racing through her mind.revenge. Duncan saw her coming, though, and warded her blow off with a raised arm, slashing her exposed arm with his knife, staggering backward as he did so. Blood seeped into her clothing and ran down her arm to her fingertips. It dripped from her fingertips but Rogue took no notice as she came at him again, this time using her gloved hand to grab his wrist. She wasted no time as she used her other hand to wrap around his face. She held on with all her strength as he struggled, wrestling his arm free, he tried to stab her but by that time he was already to weak.to drained. Rogue removed her hand and backed away, watching as he slid to the ground. Putting on her glove, she turned around then and saw Jean propped up against her SUV. She made her way to her slowly, painfully, tears gathering in her eyes as she watched the blood pour from Jean. She knelt down next to her and put her hand over hers, applying pressure to the wound.
"We've got to get you to a hospital."
"No.no hospital." Jean's voice was ragged and came out in painful gasps. Rogue's heart broke at the sound.
"Jean, we-we have to get you to a hospital."
"No.institute.infirmary. The X-Gene.doctors." her body tensed with each word. It was a battle to breathe let alone talk.
"Who gives a damn about the X-Gene! You need help." Tears trailed their way down her face. She wrapped her hand around Jean's, hanging on to her with all her might; in hope that, that simple gesture would keep her with her.
"Please.Rogue. Do-do this.for me.. please."
"Damn you, Jean." Rogue closed her eyes and shook her head softly.
"Please."
".You better not die on me, hear. You die on me and Ah swear Ah'll make you pay." Rogue gently took her in her arms then, holding her close as she picked her up.
"You.you can't torment.the dead." Jean smiled as she curled her fingers into Rogue's turtleneck, pressing her face into the warm cloth.
"You ain't dead yet and.and Ah'm gonna make damn sure that it stays that way." Rogue tried to set her down gently but with her wounds, as they were it was difficult. She opened the door as quickly as she could, setting and strapping Jean in when she had.
"Is that.is that a promise?" She cringed as the seat belt cut into her wound. Rogue quickly found something to put in between it.
"Yeah, it is. Now be quiet. No way should you be talkin' in your condition." Rogue put her fingertips over Jean's lips, shushing her gently. She then slammed the door and ran to the driver side door, throwing it open she jumped in and took off, buckling up only when Jean told her to.
Two Days later
Rogue sat quietly next to the sick bed, holding Jean's hand gently in her own, her thumb absently tracing a path on the back of her hand. She listened to the steady thrum of the machines as they watched and recorded Jean's pulse and heartbeat. She was still wearing her tattered and dirty clothes, blood had crusted over her wound and her shirt and her gloves were stiff as if they had been watered down and left to dry except this time.this time they had been soaked in blood. Her face was smeared with tears, makeup and blood. Her eyes were hollow as she stared across the room at nothing. She had never looked more miserable in her entire life. Rogue had considered getting her self cleaned up after she had taken care of Jean but had quickly forgotten the idea when she had seen Jean laying in the bed, looking as fragile and delicate as an ice crystal. She hadn't the heart or the will to leave her.
Jean moaned softly then, her eye lashes fluttering as she struggled to open her eyes. When she managed to open them, she lay there for a few moments staring at the ceiling uncomprehendingly. She turned her head to the side, seeing Rogue clearly for the first time since the night they had been attacked. She was half way out of her chair, as if she were poised to jump on the bed at any moment. She looked at her clothing and frowned slightly. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke, "Well, aren't you just a mess." Rogue let out a short, hysterical laugh then. She vaulted from the chair and sat on the bed, clutching Jean to her as gently as she could manage. Jean cringed but was happy none the less, after all, she had wanted to be in Rogue's arms she just hadn't thought that it would take her getting stabbed to accomplish the deed. "If this is what takes for you to treat me like this, I should get stabbed more often." Rogue let out a strangled sob as she buried her face in Jean's chest, grabbing fistfuls of Jean's hospital gown into her hands.
"Don't you even think about it."
"Guess you're gonna have to do this more often if you want to keep me safe."
"Guess so."
"Yeah.guess so." They laid there, Jean holding Rogue, who was half on, half off the bed, both of them holding each other close and trying to be gentle. Jean was enjoying the moment, one of her hands smoothing Rogue's hair down while the other, made soothing motions up and down her back. She felt like heaven in her arms. "Why are you still wearing this stuff?" She picked at Rogue's clothing.
"Ah..Ah guess forgot about it. With you bein' hurt n' all." Rogue's voice trailed away as she sat up to look her in the eye.
"Yeah, well, you got hurt to." Jean nodded to her arm and seeing how nasty it looked she carefully took it in her hand and laid it on her lap. She carefully peeled away the clothing, wincing as it stuck to Rogue's skin. "Sorry." Jean gently rotated the arm, trying to get a better look at it through all the blood, dirt and grime. "Could you hand me that bowl?" She motioned for the one on the stand next to her bed. It was the same one Rogue had used to dab her forehead with. Rogue handed it to her without complaint and watched as Jean cleaned her wound. It made Rogue's heart seize as she watched Jean clean her wound with all the tenderness of her being. However, the sweet moment was broken when Jean asked her something she was not expecting. "What is this?" Jean was pointing to the series of scars on her arm.
"Uh.uh, no-nothin'." Rogue tried to pull her arm away from Jean but didn't have much success. Although, Jean was weak she held Rogue's arm in a steely grasp. Rogue watched with dread as Jean pushed her sleeve farther up her arm, revealing more scars.
"Rogue, what is this?" Jean's brow furrowed as she looked up into Rogue's eyes but Rogue looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
"Ah said it's nothin' so leave it alone." She tried to push her sleeve back down but Jean wouldn't let her. Then she tried to get off the bed only to be pulled back down again.
"What happened? Where did you get these. how did you get these?"
"Ah said, it's nothin'!" Rogue jerked her arm free, ripping her wound open again and spilling the bowl onto the floor. She backed away from Jean holding her arm, trying to cover it up as she backed her way to the door, her eyes locked to the ground.
"Wait! Rogue, don't go." She sat up, trying to reach out to her.
"Ah'm.. Ah'm sorry. Ah have t' go." She clutched her arm in her in her hand, holding it close to her body.
"Please tell me, Rogue. If some one is hurting you then let me help." Jean was confused and hurt. She tried to get out of bed but could not muster up the strength. She could only stare at Rogue helplessly. Rogue smiled slightly, not one of joy but one of pain, if there is such a smile. It was the kind of smile that people had when they were guarding a terrible secret and couldn't tell anyone. It was the kind of smile that said, 'You can't help me. It's so obvious what's wrong but you can't help me.'
"You need your rest Jean an' Ah need t' get cleaned up." Rogue left backing her way out the door and closing it softly behind her. She leaned against the door and cried silently, holding her head in her hands, she thought, 'Ah did this t' myself. Ah pick up the blade n' cut myself. Pain makes me numb, makes me forget. Ah hurt myself an' Ah.. an' Ah enjoy it.' Rogue pushed away from the door violently and stumbled her way out of the infirmary. She ran away to another part of the mansion till she was as far from Jean as she could possibly be. Once there, she crawled into a corner and wept, holding herself as tightly as she could.
Back in the infirmary Jean sat on the bed, the covers clutched tightly in her grasp. She stared at the bed, not seeing anything and silent tears streamed down her face. Only one thought reverberated around her mind, 'Ah did this. Ah did this. Ah did this.' On and on, it raced through her mind, pounding against her skull threatening to break her. Tears splashed onto the blankets and her hands.
"No. no. No." her voice rang with disbelief as reality sank in. As she realized how blind she'd been to Rogue, the pain she had been going through, the pain she put herself through. the pain of living. "No."
Read n' review, please. I hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter and I'll see if I can't post two chapters the next time.
Ch.7
AN: Okay, so where were we.Ah, yes! Jean was about to die.
"Time to die."
Jean was terrified. She didn't know what to do. All she could smell was the alcohol. All she could feel was the bone-crushing grip Duncan had on her and the cold, sharp edge of the steel blade pressed into her skin.all she could think about was Rogue.
"Not so arrogant now, are we?" Duncan scoffed as he jerked on her head, almost snapping her neck in the process.
"Let go of me!"
"I don't think so. I'm gonna teach you a lesson and then your friend over there is gonna get it." He smiled maniacally at her from over her shoulder.
"You even think about touching her and I guarantee, you won't have the chance to live to regret it." Her voice was laced with steel and she tried to twist from his grasp but her only pulled on her head harder and pressed the blade deeper into the sensitive skin of her neck. Blood began to make a slow trickle down her throat.
"Yeah?! You just go ahead an' try. What can you do to me, huh?! What can you possibly do? I'm the one with the knife! I'm the one in control! I'm the one with the power!" Duncan's voice reverberated around the empty parking lot. He was not thinking as he used the hand that was holding the knife, to jab at his chest with his thumb. Jean made her move then, using her telekinesis she flung him away from her and into one of the cars nearby. His friends, who could do nothing but stare at the large dent created by the impact. Like their leader, they were not paying attention to their captive. Rogue managed to jab the one who was holding her in the ribs, forcing the air from his lungs and him to loosen his hold. She moved away from him enough to deliver a powerful roundhouse kick his head, her body calling out in protestation. The drunken teen spun around twice before falling flat on his face. Jean could only smile at her, relieved that she was not seriously harmed but then the third member of Duncan's drunken party came up behind Rogue.
"Rogue, watch out!"
Before he knew what hit him, Rogue had whirled around and delivered a crushing uppercut to his lower jaw, she cringed as her upper body was forced to stretch. Jean could hear the crunch of bone as the force of the impact broke the young man's jaw. He fell like a rock and ended up partly strewn across the parking barrier and his friend. Rogue looked down at the sad mess before her and dusted her hands off. When she turned around she was smirking as if to say, 'I've been waiting to do that for a long time.' She made her way slowly to Jean, holding her bruised ribs that were throbbing from the beating she had taken from the two boys. She was almost to her when Duncan appeared behind her, his knife poised above him, ready to strike like the serpent that he was.
"Jean!" The warning came too late as Jean whirled around and found a blade sinking into her abdomen. She looked into Duncan's face and saw a deranged man.
"I told you, you'd pay." He jerked the blade back and stepped back, blood splattering the front of his jacket. Jean quietly slipped to the ground in front of him clutching her side as her blood stained the ground; the lights overhead cast an eerie glow.
Rogue watched as Jean slipped to the ground, gasping. She watched as her blood poured forth, staining her hands and the ground on which she now laid.. She snapped. She didn't think as she slipped off her glove and lunged towards Duncan, only one thought racing through her mind.revenge. Duncan saw her coming, though, and warded her blow off with a raised arm, slashing her exposed arm with his knife, staggering backward as he did so. Blood seeped into her clothing and ran down her arm to her fingertips. It dripped from her fingertips but Rogue took no notice as she came at him again, this time using her gloved hand to grab his wrist. She wasted no time as she used her other hand to wrap around his face. She held on with all her strength as he struggled, wrestling his arm free, he tried to stab her but by that time he was already to weak.to drained. Rogue removed her hand and backed away, watching as he slid to the ground. Putting on her glove, she turned around then and saw Jean propped up against her SUV. She made her way to her slowly, painfully, tears gathering in her eyes as she watched the blood pour from Jean. She knelt down next to her and put her hand over hers, applying pressure to the wound.
"We've got to get you to a hospital."
"No.no hospital." Jean's voice was ragged and came out in painful gasps. Rogue's heart broke at the sound.
"Jean, we-we have to get you to a hospital."
"No.institute.infirmary. The X-Gene.doctors." her body tensed with each word. It was a battle to breathe let alone talk.
"Who gives a damn about the X-Gene! You need help." Tears trailed their way down her face. She wrapped her hand around Jean's, hanging on to her with all her might; in hope that, that simple gesture would keep her with her.
"Please.Rogue. Do-do this.for me.. please."
"Damn you, Jean." Rogue closed her eyes and shook her head softly.
"Please."
".You better not die on me, hear. You die on me and Ah swear Ah'll make you pay." Rogue gently took her in her arms then, holding her close as she picked her up.
"You.you can't torment.the dead." Jean smiled as she curled her fingers into Rogue's turtleneck, pressing her face into the warm cloth.
"You ain't dead yet and.and Ah'm gonna make damn sure that it stays that way." Rogue tried to set her down gently but with her wounds, as they were it was difficult. She opened the door as quickly as she could, setting and strapping Jean in when she had.
"Is that.is that a promise?" She cringed as the seat belt cut into her wound. Rogue quickly found something to put in between it.
"Yeah, it is. Now be quiet. No way should you be talkin' in your condition." Rogue put her fingertips over Jean's lips, shushing her gently. She then slammed the door and ran to the driver side door, throwing it open she jumped in and took off, buckling up only when Jean told her to.
Two Days later
Rogue sat quietly next to the sick bed, holding Jean's hand gently in her own, her thumb absently tracing a path on the back of her hand. She listened to the steady thrum of the machines as they watched and recorded Jean's pulse and heartbeat. She was still wearing her tattered and dirty clothes, blood had crusted over her wound and her shirt and her gloves were stiff as if they had been watered down and left to dry except this time.this time they had been soaked in blood. Her face was smeared with tears, makeup and blood. Her eyes were hollow as she stared across the room at nothing. She had never looked more miserable in her entire life. Rogue had considered getting her self cleaned up after she had taken care of Jean but had quickly forgotten the idea when she had seen Jean laying in the bed, looking as fragile and delicate as an ice crystal. She hadn't the heart or the will to leave her.
Jean moaned softly then, her eye lashes fluttering as she struggled to open her eyes. When she managed to open them, she lay there for a few moments staring at the ceiling uncomprehendingly. She turned her head to the side, seeing Rogue clearly for the first time since the night they had been attacked. She was half way out of her chair, as if she were poised to jump on the bed at any moment. She looked at her clothing and frowned slightly. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke, "Well, aren't you just a mess." Rogue let out a short, hysterical laugh then. She vaulted from the chair and sat on the bed, clutching Jean to her as gently as she could manage. Jean cringed but was happy none the less, after all, she had wanted to be in Rogue's arms she just hadn't thought that it would take her getting stabbed to accomplish the deed. "If this is what takes for you to treat me like this, I should get stabbed more often." Rogue let out a strangled sob as she buried her face in Jean's chest, grabbing fistfuls of Jean's hospital gown into her hands.
"Don't you even think about it."
"Guess you're gonna have to do this more often if you want to keep me safe."
"Guess so."
"Yeah.guess so." They laid there, Jean holding Rogue, who was half on, half off the bed, both of them holding each other close and trying to be gentle. Jean was enjoying the moment, one of her hands smoothing Rogue's hair down while the other, made soothing motions up and down her back. She felt like heaven in her arms. "Why are you still wearing this stuff?" She picked at Rogue's clothing.
"Ah..Ah guess forgot about it. With you bein' hurt n' all." Rogue's voice trailed away as she sat up to look her in the eye.
"Yeah, well, you got hurt to." Jean nodded to her arm and seeing how nasty it looked she carefully took it in her hand and laid it on her lap. She carefully peeled away the clothing, wincing as it stuck to Rogue's skin. "Sorry." Jean gently rotated the arm, trying to get a better look at it through all the blood, dirt and grime. "Could you hand me that bowl?" She motioned for the one on the stand next to her bed. It was the same one Rogue had used to dab her forehead with. Rogue handed it to her without complaint and watched as Jean cleaned her wound. It made Rogue's heart seize as she watched Jean clean her wound with all the tenderness of her being. However, the sweet moment was broken when Jean asked her something she was not expecting. "What is this?" Jean was pointing to the series of scars on her arm.
"Uh.uh, no-nothin'." Rogue tried to pull her arm away from Jean but didn't have much success. Although, Jean was weak she held Rogue's arm in a steely grasp. Rogue watched with dread as Jean pushed her sleeve farther up her arm, revealing more scars.
"Rogue, what is this?" Jean's brow furrowed as she looked up into Rogue's eyes but Rogue looked away, unable to meet her eyes.
"Ah said it's nothin' so leave it alone." She tried to push her sleeve back down but Jean wouldn't let her. Then she tried to get off the bed only to be pulled back down again.
"What happened? Where did you get these. how did you get these?"
"Ah said, it's nothin'!" Rogue jerked her arm free, ripping her wound open again and spilling the bowl onto the floor. She backed away from Jean holding her arm, trying to cover it up as she backed her way to the door, her eyes locked to the ground.
"Wait! Rogue, don't go." She sat up, trying to reach out to her.
"Ah'm.. Ah'm sorry. Ah have t' go." She clutched her arm in her in her hand, holding it close to her body.
"Please tell me, Rogue. If some one is hurting you then let me help." Jean was confused and hurt. She tried to get out of bed but could not muster up the strength. She could only stare at Rogue helplessly. Rogue smiled slightly, not one of joy but one of pain, if there is such a smile. It was the kind of smile that people had when they were guarding a terrible secret and couldn't tell anyone. It was the kind of smile that said, 'You can't help me. It's so obvious what's wrong but you can't help me.'
"You need your rest Jean an' Ah need t' get cleaned up." Rogue left backing her way out the door and closing it softly behind her. She leaned against the door and cried silently, holding her head in her hands, she thought, 'Ah did this t' myself. Ah pick up the blade n' cut myself. Pain makes me numb, makes me forget. Ah hurt myself an' Ah.. an' Ah enjoy it.' Rogue pushed away from the door violently and stumbled her way out of the infirmary. She ran away to another part of the mansion till she was as far from Jean as she could possibly be. Once there, she crawled into a corner and wept, holding herself as tightly as she could.
Back in the infirmary Jean sat on the bed, the covers clutched tightly in her grasp. She stared at the bed, not seeing anything and silent tears streamed down her face. Only one thought reverberated around her mind, 'Ah did this. Ah did this. Ah did this.' On and on, it raced through her mind, pounding against her skull threatening to break her. Tears splashed onto the blankets and her hands.
"No. no. No." her voice rang with disbelief as reality sank in. As she realized how blind she'd been to Rogue, the pain she had been going through, the pain she put herself through. the pain of living. "No."
Read n' review, please. I hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter and I'll see if I can't post two chapters the next time.