Hidden Feelings: Ch. 8
AN: Too long have I been out of the circuit. I'm sorry!!!! I'm only going to post this right now 'cause I want something to be up here. I do have more, unfortunately I cannot reach it (don't ask) and I don't know how much longer I will have internet access, however, I will find a way to post! Again, I'm truly sorry.
Jean sat staring into the fire, ensconced in her favorite chair. She twirled a glass of wine in one hand, something the professor would frown upon surely but she did no care and her chin in the other as she waited patiently for Rogue to arrive. It was time. Time to show Rogue exactly how much she loved her, show being the operative word. Tonight was the night that all her careful planning would come to fruition. No doubt there were a few loose ends, such as the scars on Rogue's arm, something she did not want to think about and the nightmares the young woman suffered and suffered them alone. Jean could not recall the times she had woken Rogue up from one of those hideous nightmares, asking Rogue to share them with her... only to be refused and now, with the present state of affairs, Jean believed there would be much "cleaning up" and "tying up loose ends" for the rest of her life, so long as Rogue was a part of it. Jean closed her eyes and heaved a sigh, remembering the past days spent with Rogue, all leading up to her decision to put her final plan into action.
Days had passed and neither of the young women brought up the subject of Rogue's scarred arm or how those scars got there. It was a silent pact between them, Jean unsure as to how to handle the situation and she kept telling herself that Rogue would come to her in time, where as Rogue was not certain at all if she wanted to share her demons with another... even though she loved Jean with all her being. They were at an impasse and so they decided to dance around the subject and so far it had been working.
As the days came and went, Rogue waited attendance on Jean, cleaning and dressing her wound, hand feeding her, staring at one another deeply, which always produced strange yet pleasant sensations between the two women. Rogue also brushed Jean's hair and helped her to the bathroom and other such necessities. At one point, Jean had asked her to help her shower, to which Rogue had responded with a strong rejection, even as she had averted her gaze and blushed. At other times Rogue would read to Jean or play board games with her. In return, Jean took care of Rogue's arm, both of course, avoiding the subject that neither one would speak out loud. It was a time of laughter, a time for fun and a time for healing wounds, at least, of the physical variety.
Soon Jean was able to get out of bed and go back upstairs much to her chagrin because no longer would she have Rogue near her... something that she dreaded. So what was a young, mutant who is in love to do? Play sick of course and Jean did... to the best of her ability. After she had moved back into her room, Jean played as if it strained her to walk up the stairs by herself or that standing for a long period of time made her dizzy, she even went so far as to have Rogue help her undress. She had needed to persuade her somewhat, though... actually, quite a lot of persuading took place. Rogue had not been too keen with the idea of taking off Jean's clothes, however, Jean learned otherwise through reading Rogue's confused and... erotic thoughts. In the end, Jean had one out and she had wasted no time in changing her clothes... any time she could. At one point, after she had asked to change into some thing else for the fifth time that day Rogue had put her hands on her hips, looking searchingly into her eyes and said, "You know, if Ah hadn't seen you faint the other day, Ah would think you're doin' this on purpose." Jean had not said anything in response, only shrugged her shoulders and tried to go to her room herself.
In the end Rogue had helped her. During these exchanges, fingertips always lingered, their breathing became deep and sped up and their faces flushed. Afterwards, their eyes glowed and it was at times like this that Jean wanted to further her plans, she saw it in Rogue's eyes as well but Rogue would always step back and leave Jean to finish... but not tonight. Jean had something special planned. She could wait no longer nor want to. Tonight, she would show Rogue that she could love and be loved in return.
Jean opened her eyes and sipped from her glass. Looking back at it all it seemed quite... methodical of her. Planning the seduction, so to speak, of her heart's desire and she had done anything and everything to make this night possible, even to the point of arranging for everyone to go away, to go home during the Christmas vacation. Even to that little stunt Duncan had pulled, however, she had not expected him to react to strongly. It had taken very little to no effort at all to control him but at the end she had let her grasp on his mind slipped which resulted in getting stabbed herself but ultimately it served her purpose. She would do anything to keep Rogue by her side. Nothing and no one would stand in her way when it came to Rogue. Nothing.
The giant oak doors creaked open and closed softly, she did not need to turn around to see who it was but she did none the less, pushing herself out of her chair gracefully and turning fully towards the young woman she had wanted and loved at a distance for so long. Now. Tonight. No longer would she have to love her at a distance. It was tonight that they could be together and stay together. Jean walked forward and stopped mere feet away from Rogue, looking her up and down as she came closer. She was beautiful. Dressed in a loose green sweatshirt and boot cut black jeans and her signature combo boots. Jean smiled, pleased and anxious. "Would you like something to drink?"
As Jean looked her over, Rogue did the same. She too was dressed wonderfully in her white, collared button up shirt, her blue jeans to her bare feet. Which surprised Rogue. Jean had never wandered around the mansion barefooted. Looking back to her face, Jean's eyes were gleaming, as were her own she was sure. At Jean's question she nodded her head in the affirmative and slowly walked over to the couch to take a seat. Butterflies began to dance in her stomach as she took in her dimly lit surroundings. The wine, the fruit, the music that was now playing softly in the background and then finally to the fire which gave the room a soft glow. It screamed intimacy and bordered at the edge of seduction. A chill took over her body as she watched Jean's sensual movements as she came to sit close to her on the couch, a couch that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller by the second. Jean handed her a glass, her fingertips brushing over her own lightly and lingering near the end. She knew what Jean had called her here for, knew what she wanted and by the Gods! She wanted it just as much if not more. "Thank you."
The two sat in silence, sipping from their glasses and staring into the dancing flames, both grateful for the warmth it provided. Jean leaned back and rested in the crook of the back of the couch and arm rest, her eyes half closed as if sleep was about to claim her. Rogue had leaned forward, her arms resting on her knees and her wine glass dangling from her relaxed hands. She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh of contentment as she bathed in the burning warmth of the fire. She was not startled when she first felt the feather light touches that skimmed across her shoulders and the small of her back, indeed this was what she had been waiting for.
Jean's hands were masterful as she caressed her, slowly building the fire within Rogue, feeding it and fanning it till she thought she would not be able to breathe. How could the simple strokes of her fingers elicit such a response within her? Her caresses teased her body and senses. They were not meant to bring her completion. They were sensual and seductive and soon Rogue found herself being drawn back against Jean, as she snaked her hands around Rogue's waist, squeezing and holding her to her. Rogue moaned softly and laid her head back, giving Jean access to the sensitive skin at the base of her neck where her pulse steadily increased to an incessant thrum. Using the tip of her nose she nuzzled Rogue's hair out of her way, her breath whispering across Rogue's sensitive flesh. Soon, Jean was softly kissing along her neck, darting her tongue out and caressing Rogue's tingling flesh when she came across her pulse. Her kisses mingled with nips and small bites as Jean slowly worked her way up to her ear, nipping at it before gently taking it in her mouth.
Rogue moaned softly, sliding her hands down her body to grab a hold of Jean's, slipping them under the hem of her sweat shirt and slowly bringing them up along her body to her breasts and sighing contentedly when Jean took them in her hands. Slowly, Rogue lowered her own hands down her body, outlining the toned muscles of her stomach and achingly lower to the apex of her thighs before sliding them down the sides of her legs to grasp Jean's legs tightly. Her breath was faster, exhaled raggedly through slightly parted lips. "What are you doin' t' me?"
"What we've both wanted for so long."
"Ah doubt Ah can take much more o' this."
"You have no idea how much you can take. I won't stop, not now. Not even if you asked me."
"Who said Ah wanted you t' stop?"
"I wouldn't have expected nor accepted any other answer. I've dreamed of you like this. Mine for the taking. I've seen us together so many times. Heart to heart. Skin o skin. I -" Jean broke off when Rogue stiffened and grabbed her hands, examining them closely before her eyes. She turned around and scrutinized her face, with just as much care as she had her hands, running her fingertips lightly across her lips. When Rogue finally raised her eyes to meet Jean's own, they were burning with the passion they had just shared, shock and confusion....and disbelief.
"....How... How... this isn't possible. You touched me an'... an'..." Rogue's voice shook as tears began to gather in her eyes, looking at her hands as if she had never seen them before.
"I know Rogue."
"But...how?!"
"To simply put it, there's sort of like this little switch in your mind that says, 'On/Off'. I just turn it off."
"But why can you control my powers an' not me?"
"Well, you could but you haven't developed the right 'wires' so to speak to control them. It's a possibility that you could but it's not certain and I hate to have to tell you that." She'd hate it even more if she had told Rogue the truth. The truth being that Rogue could control her own powers it was only a matter of showing her how to do it and how to access the so- called "switch". Neither was she willing to do.
Rogue nodded her head slowly and looked at Jean. "...Ah don't know what t' say or t' do. How's a person suppose to react to something like this?"
"Maybe it's best we not dwell on it, at least not right now. Give it some time and we can talk about it in the morning. Right now, I have too much on my mind."
"You have too much on your mind? What about me?! What could possibly be absorbin' all your attention?"
"You and the fact that I want to dance with you. I know it's a lot to ask but can you put this on hold for just a bit. Let's enjoy our evening together. Right now, why don't we explore our own relationship."
"What relationship?" Rogue pushed away from Jean, trying to escape, to get away but was only pulled back down on Jean's lap. Her back to Jean's front.
"Don't even try it. I'm not letting you go. Ever."
"How long have you known? How long have you kept this from me?"
Jean decided it was safer to tell another white lie instead of the truth. The truth being that she had known for at least a year. "Only a couple of months." When Rogue tried to pull away again Jean tightened her grip, threatening to break the young woman in half. "I didn't want to tell you and then have it not work. I wanted to make sure that it would work. That it wouldn't hurt you. I know I probably should have told you but I didn't. So sue me! I didn't want to get your hopes up only to have them destroyed because it wasn't possible and it's still not a sure thing." Jean took a deep breath before going on to say what she had locked with in her heart for some time. "I love you. I couldn't bear to see you in pain." It seemed like an eternity before Rogue replied and Jean was near bursting with anticipation.
"Ah....Ah love you too. Ah've loved you for some time now but..."
"But you never thought it would be possible? I felt the same way that's why I didn't tell you. I'm truly sorry. Please...please, can you forgive me?"
"Ah forgave you a few minutes ago."
"Really? So does this mean you'll share a few dances with me?"
Rogue looked over her shoulder at Jean, who just grinned and waggled her eyebrows. "You're incorrigible but yeah, Ah'll dance with you."
Rogue laughed aloud as Jean leapt to her feet, bringing Rogue along with her and danced a little jig. She made her way over towards the stereo and put in a CD. Soon, soft music was coming from the speakers that stood in two corners of the room. Rogue recognized it as, Read My Mind by Reba McEntire and smiled as Jean sauntered back over to her and gently took her into her arms. "Is this the best you could do?"
"Be quiet. I happen to like this song."
"Never figured you for a country fan."
"I'm not but I don't mind this one so much." Jean smiled as she slid her hands down Rogue's arms, stopping when her fingertips encountered soft leather. Gently taking Rogue's hands into her own, Jean deftly stripped her of the gloves and tossed them into a corner. "You won't need these as long as you've got me."
Rogue cautiously wrapped her arms around Jean and vice versa, laying her head in the crook of her shoulder, heaving a sigh of weariness and relief. As if one great burden had been removed only to be replaced by another. "An' how long will Ah have you?"
"For all of eternity."
AN: Okay, not too happy about this chapter but oh well. Please read and review and please, please, please, please, please, don't hesitate to point out what I could do better or what I can improve upon. Stay tuned for the next chapters, hopefully revolving around resolutions, a surprise guest and who knows what else. Love ya'll!
AN: Too long have I been out of the circuit. I'm sorry!!!! I'm only going to post this right now 'cause I want something to be up here. I do have more, unfortunately I cannot reach it (don't ask) and I don't know how much longer I will have internet access, however, I will find a way to post! Again, I'm truly sorry.
Jean sat staring into the fire, ensconced in her favorite chair. She twirled a glass of wine in one hand, something the professor would frown upon surely but she did no care and her chin in the other as she waited patiently for Rogue to arrive. It was time. Time to show Rogue exactly how much she loved her, show being the operative word. Tonight was the night that all her careful planning would come to fruition. No doubt there were a few loose ends, such as the scars on Rogue's arm, something she did not want to think about and the nightmares the young woman suffered and suffered them alone. Jean could not recall the times she had woken Rogue up from one of those hideous nightmares, asking Rogue to share them with her... only to be refused and now, with the present state of affairs, Jean believed there would be much "cleaning up" and "tying up loose ends" for the rest of her life, so long as Rogue was a part of it. Jean closed her eyes and heaved a sigh, remembering the past days spent with Rogue, all leading up to her decision to put her final plan into action.
Days had passed and neither of the young women brought up the subject of Rogue's scarred arm or how those scars got there. It was a silent pact between them, Jean unsure as to how to handle the situation and she kept telling herself that Rogue would come to her in time, where as Rogue was not certain at all if she wanted to share her demons with another... even though she loved Jean with all her being. They were at an impasse and so they decided to dance around the subject and so far it had been working.
As the days came and went, Rogue waited attendance on Jean, cleaning and dressing her wound, hand feeding her, staring at one another deeply, which always produced strange yet pleasant sensations between the two women. Rogue also brushed Jean's hair and helped her to the bathroom and other such necessities. At one point, Jean had asked her to help her shower, to which Rogue had responded with a strong rejection, even as she had averted her gaze and blushed. At other times Rogue would read to Jean or play board games with her. In return, Jean took care of Rogue's arm, both of course, avoiding the subject that neither one would speak out loud. It was a time of laughter, a time for fun and a time for healing wounds, at least, of the physical variety.
Soon Jean was able to get out of bed and go back upstairs much to her chagrin because no longer would she have Rogue near her... something that she dreaded. So what was a young, mutant who is in love to do? Play sick of course and Jean did... to the best of her ability. After she had moved back into her room, Jean played as if it strained her to walk up the stairs by herself or that standing for a long period of time made her dizzy, she even went so far as to have Rogue help her undress. She had needed to persuade her somewhat, though... actually, quite a lot of persuading took place. Rogue had not been too keen with the idea of taking off Jean's clothes, however, Jean learned otherwise through reading Rogue's confused and... erotic thoughts. In the end, Jean had one out and she had wasted no time in changing her clothes... any time she could. At one point, after she had asked to change into some thing else for the fifth time that day Rogue had put her hands on her hips, looking searchingly into her eyes and said, "You know, if Ah hadn't seen you faint the other day, Ah would think you're doin' this on purpose." Jean had not said anything in response, only shrugged her shoulders and tried to go to her room herself.
In the end Rogue had helped her. During these exchanges, fingertips always lingered, their breathing became deep and sped up and their faces flushed. Afterwards, their eyes glowed and it was at times like this that Jean wanted to further her plans, she saw it in Rogue's eyes as well but Rogue would always step back and leave Jean to finish... but not tonight. Jean had something special planned. She could wait no longer nor want to. Tonight, she would show Rogue that she could love and be loved in return.
Jean opened her eyes and sipped from her glass. Looking back at it all it seemed quite... methodical of her. Planning the seduction, so to speak, of her heart's desire and she had done anything and everything to make this night possible, even to the point of arranging for everyone to go away, to go home during the Christmas vacation. Even to that little stunt Duncan had pulled, however, she had not expected him to react to strongly. It had taken very little to no effort at all to control him but at the end she had let her grasp on his mind slipped which resulted in getting stabbed herself but ultimately it served her purpose. She would do anything to keep Rogue by her side. Nothing and no one would stand in her way when it came to Rogue. Nothing.
The giant oak doors creaked open and closed softly, she did not need to turn around to see who it was but she did none the less, pushing herself out of her chair gracefully and turning fully towards the young woman she had wanted and loved at a distance for so long. Now. Tonight. No longer would she have to love her at a distance. It was tonight that they could be together and stay together. Jean walked forward and stopped mere feet away from Rogue, looking her up and down as she came closer. She was beautiful. Dressed in a loose green sweatshirt and boot cut black jeans and her signature combo boots. Jean smiled, pleased and anxious. "Would you like something to drink?"
As Jean looked her over, Rogue did the same. She too was dressed wonderfully in her white, collared button up shirt, her blue jeans to her bare feet. Which surprised Rogue. Jean had never wandered around the mansion barefooted. Looking back to her face, Jean's eyes were gleaming, as were her own she was sure. At Jean's question she nodded her head in the affirmative and slowly walked over to the couch to take a seat. Butterflies began to dance in her stomach as she took in her dimly lit surroundings. The wine, the fruit, the music that was now playing softly in the background and then finally to the fire which gave the room a soft glow. It screamed intimacy and bordered at the edge of seduction. A chill took over her body as she watched Jean's sensual movements as she came to sit close to her on the couch, a couch that seemed to be getting smaller and smaller by the second. Jean handed her a glass, her fingertips brushing over her own lightly and lingering near the end. She knew what Jean had called her here for, knew what she wanted and by the Gods! She wanted it just as much if not more. "Thank you."
The two sat in silence, sipping from their glasses and staring into the dancing flames, both grateful for the warmth it provided. Jean leaned back and rested in the crook of the back of the couch and arm rest, her eyes half closed as if sleep was about to claim her. Rogue had leaned forward, her arms resting on her knees and her wine glass dangling from her relaxed hands. She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh of contentment as she bathed in the burning warmth of the fire. She was not startled when she first felt the feather light touches that skimmed across her shoulders and the small of her back, indeed this was what she had been waiting for.
Jean's hands were masterful as she caressed her, slowly building the fire within Rogue, feeding it and fanning it till she thought she would not be able to breathe. How could the simple strokes of her fingers elicit such a response within her? Her caresses teased her body and senses. They were not meant to bring her completion. They were sensual and seductive and soon Rogue found herself being drawn back against Jean, as she snaked her hands around Rogue's waist, squeezing and holding her to her. Rogue moaned softly and laid her head back, giving Jean access to the sensitive skin at the base of her neck where her pulse steadily increased to an incessant thrum. Using the tip of her nose she nuzzled Rogue's hair out of her way, her breath whispering across Rogue's sensitive flesh. Soon, Jean was softly kissing along her neck, darting her tongue out and caressing Rogue's tingling flesh when she came across her pulse. Her kisses mingled with nips and small bites as Jean slowly worked her way up to her ear, nipping at it before gently taking it in her mouth.
Rogue moaned softly, sliding her hands down her body to grab a hold of Jean's, slipping them under the hem of her sweat shirt and slowly bringing them up along her body to her breasts and sighing contentedly when Jean took them in her hands. Slowly, Rogue lowered her own hands down her body, outlining the toned muscles of her stomach and achingly lower to the apex of her thighs before sliding them down the sides of her legs to grasp Jean's legs tightly. Her breath was faster, exhaled raggedly through slightly parted lips. "What are you doin' t' me?"
"What we've both wanted for so long."
"Ah doubt Ah can take much more o' this."
"You have no idea how much you can take. I won't stop, not now. Not even if you asked me."
"Who said Ah wanted you t' stop?"
"I wouldn't have expected nor accepted any other answer. I've dreamed of you like this. Mine for the taking. I've seen us together so many times. Heart to heart. Skin o skin. I -" Jean broke off when Rogue stiffened and grabbed her hands, examining them closely before her eyes. She turned around and scrutinized her face, with just as much care as she had her hands, running her fingertips lightly across her lips. When Rogue finally raised her eyes to meet Jean's own, they were burning with the passion they had just shared, shock and confusion....and disbelief.
"....How... How... this isn't possible. You touched me an'... an'..." Rogue's voice shook as tears began to gather in her eyes, looking at her hands as if she had never seen them before.
"I know Rogue."
"But...how?!"
"To simply put it, there's sort of like this little switch in your mind that says, 'On/Off'. I just turn it off."
"But why can you control my powers an' not me?"
"Well, you could but you haven't developed the right 'wires' so to speak to control them. It's a possibility that you could but it's not certain and I hate to have to tell you that." She'd hate it even more if she had told Rogue the truth. The truth being that Rogue could control her own powers it was only a matter of showing her how to do it and how to access the so- called "switch". Neither was she willing to do.
Rogue nodded her head slowly and looked at Jean. "...Ah don't know what t' say or t' do. How's a person suppose to react to something like this?"
"Maybe it's best we not dwell on it, at least not right now. Give it some time and we can talk about it in the morning. Right now, I have too much on my mind."
"You have too much on your mind? What about me?! What could possibly be absorbin' all your attention?"
"You and the fact that I want to dance with you. I know it's a lot to ask but can you put this on hold for just a bit. Let's enjoy our evening together. Right now, why don't we explore our own relationship."
"What relationship?" Rogue pushed away from Jean, trying to escape, to get away but was only pulled back down on Jean's lap. Her back to Jean's front.
"Don't even try it. I'm not letting you go. Ever."
"How long have you known? How long have you kept this from me?"
Jean decided it was safer to tell another white lie instead of the truth. The truth being that she had known for at least a year. "Only a couple of months." When Rogue tried to pull away again Jean tightened her grip, threatening to break the young woman in half. "I didn't want to tell you and then have it not work. I wanted to make sure that it would work. That it wouldn't hurt you. I know I probably should have told you but I didn't. So sue me! I didn't want to get your hopes up only to have them destroyed because it wasn't possible and it's still not a sure thing." Jean took a deep breath before going on to say what she had locked with in her heart for some time. "I love you. I couldn't bear to see you in pain." It seemed like an eternity before Rogue replied and Jean was near bursting with anticipation.
"Ah....Ah love you too. Ah've loved you for some time now but..."
"But you never thought it would be possible? I felt the same way that's why I didn't tell you. I'm truly sorry. Please...please, can you forgive me?"
"Ah forgave you a few minutes ago."
"Really? So does this mean you'll share a few dances with me?"
Rogue looked over her shoulder at Jean, who just grinned and waggled her eyebrows. "You're incorrigible but yeah, Ah'll dance with you."
Rogue laughed aloud as Jean leapt to her feet, bringing Rogue along with her and danced a little jig. She made her way over towards the stereo and put in a CD. Soon, soft music was coming from the speakers that stood in two corners of the room. Rogue recognized it as, Read My Mind by Reba McEntire and smiled as Jean sauntered back over to her and gently took her into her arms. "Is this the best you could do?"
"Be quiet. I happen to like this song."
"Never figured you for a country fan."
"I'm not but I don't mind this one so much." Jean smiled as she slid her hands down Rogue's arms, stopping when her fingertips encountered soft leather. Gently taking Rogue's hands into her own, Jean deftly stripped her of the gloves and tossed them into a corner. "You won't need these as long as you've got me."
Rogue cautiously wrapped her arms around Jean and vice versa, laying her head in the crook of her shoulder, heaving a sigh of weariness and relief. As if one great burden had been removed only to be replaced by another. "An' how long will Ah have you?"
"For all of eternity."
AN: Okay, not too happy about this chapter but oh well. Please read and review and please, please, please, please, please, don't hesitate to point out what I could do better or what I can improve upon. Stay tuned for the next chapters, hopefully revolving around resolutions, a surprise guest and who knows what else. Love ya'll!