Thank you very much for choosing to read my story, I know it's an overlooked section at FFnet, but when inspiration strikes, an author can't choose the place (that sounded rather pompous of me didn't it?). I have a couple of comments to make about one or two things in my story. And then I have another chapter -one that was considerably altered- to show you; which is what makes this not a chapter devoted to an author's note my nifty way of getting around that particular stricture.
The first comment I have is the use of the name Anne in Chapter Nine for Milady de Winter, although the novel names her Charlotte Backson in the ending and I use that name as well later. Athos, when he was married to Milady, knew her as Anne de Breuil, and therefore it would probably be the name he was more familiar with, and the one he would use. Later, he of course remembers her real name, hence the skipping around between Athos' mind and what he's saying.
Secondly, the plot by the Pazzi family to murder the Medici brothers is a true story only recently solved Minus Giuliano's survival and Lorenzo's involvement; those were my own plot device. However, that specific plot took place in 1478, and I knew when I wrote it that it was in the wrong time frame, if only by a couple hundred years. It simply seemed better to me to use a real plot, however fundamentally flawed in timing, rather than invent one for Elizabeth to live out.
I would also like to apologize for two rather blatant bits of plagiarism.
The first is in Chapter 15: Reconciliations (which was originally titled 'Make-Up Sex', by the way). When Elizabeth is speaking to Athos about monsters hiding under her bed, that entire little snippet is stolen and modestly rewritten from Judith McNaught's Whitney, My Love. I knew when I was writing it that it wasn't my idea, but at the time I couldn't for the life of me remember where I had originally read it, and honestly couldn't come up with something that worked better. So I used it, I'm guilty, but I'm not sorry for it.
The second is in Chapter 16: What Are You Up To? Elizabeth's little speech about society goading and punishing those pushed to the brink of order is a nearly exact quote from William Godwin. Why doesn't Elizabeth admit to who said it? Because William Godwin was born in 1756, and to prehumously quote someone is just weird. Yeah, I had a problem with dates in this story.
Notes on Chapter Nine
This is how "Chapter Nine: Judge and Jury" was originally written. It starts the same, but about halfway, the tone changes and is drastically different from the current version. Some parts of this story that were cut from the current chapter nine can be found in later parts of my story in different context. I think they are anyway... maybe I cut those... anyway, read on and please, any comments will be helpful for future writings.
Chapter Nine: Judge and Jury
The endearment tasted like ash on his lips.
"Waiting on me Athos?" Elizabeth sounded confused. An actress through and through, Athos thought to himself. "How did you know I was coming? And how come you're free?"
Athos ignored the last question, the answer to that would be apparent soon enough without him needing to spell it out. "The Comte let some things slip, and I asked to see you for a moment."
"And he let you?" She shook her head, "That doesn't seem like him."
"Oh, we have an understanding now." Athos looked at her sideways, "You've led an interesting life haven't you?"
Elizabeth gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "I can explain-"
"How long have you known the Count?" Athos interrupted her.
"He was not a Count when I met him, Athos, simply a man, his real name is-"
"How long Elizabeth?"
"Seven years, but I haven't seen him in-"
"No more lies!" He roared, his temper finally obvious, "You've been playing both sides. Helping your cousins, it was a great story, or it would have been. Jesus, do you even have an uncle?"
"Yes, and he was murdered! Please Athos," Elizabeth was near tears. "I don't know what you have been told, or what you think you know, but I am who I say I am. Nothing more, nothing less."
Athos almost believed her, but years of bitterness had hardened his heart. "So you weren't sent to bring us here?"
"No."
"You're trying to seek justice for the murder of your uncle?"
"Yes."
"You and the Count have not had... liaisons?"
"No... well, yes, we've... but it wasn't really a liaison-" Elizabeth was trying to defend herself. What to call a few kisses shared? A moment? An affair? Lord, she'd nearly married the man, how to explain that? It wouldn't be easy, but Athos beat her to the punch.
"You've been his lover!"
"No!"
"Yes!" Athos was in a fury, and not Elizabeth, nor his friends, nor even God could have stopped him at that point, he was in too deep. He advanced on her, "You have been with him, you Jezebel. You have lain in his arms and felt his passion. You've felt his lips on yours and begged him for more." His voice was harsh with fury. Elizabeth wanted to deny it, but it would have been a lie, "You've craved his touch, and you deceived us."
"No Athos, please, you must believe me. I didn't realize-"
"What? That I'd find out, that your treachery would be discovered?" Athos backed her into the wall, "That I'd seek revenge dearest Lizzy?"
Elizabeth gasped in shock and Athos swooped down on her mouth. His kiss was brutal, ravaging. It was driven by rage, lust, and above all, jealousy. It was obvious how he felt. He took no mercy, nor did he expect a gentle reaction. He was not disappointed. Athos swore loudly and spit blood when Elizabeth bit down on his lip. He snarled, "You'll pay for that, sweeting."
Elizabeth's eyes were still wide with shock, but her voice was curiously empty. "You called me Lizzy." She repeated the phrase like a mantra as Athos looped the chains around her wrists over a sconce in the wall. "You called me Lizzy." She said it even as he jerked her head back and buried his mouth on hers again. His tongue thrust into her mouth, silencing her, and he prepared to pull back if she showed any sign of becoming once again violent. But she was surprisingly complacent. She hung limp from her chains.
"You called me Lizzy."
The words echoed in Athos' ears as he ripped the front of her dress open and he had the insane urge to tell her to shut up. What did it matter what he had called her. This was his revenge, he could call her whatever he damned well wanted to. He palmed her breasts roughly as he opened the buttons on his pants, then lifted her skirt to her waist. His hips pressed against the cradle of her thighs roughly as he leaned his head down to bite a nipple. Elizabeth gasped, and Athos prepared himself to hear her beg for mercy. This would be his moment. He'd pause, as if to consider, give her a moment of reprieve, then he'd snatch away her hope as she had done to him.
But she never did. The plea never came. She just kept repeating those damned words in his ear. His temper flared brighter. Who was she to rob him of his revenge? It was his right, she had played him for a fool. His lust, dormant for so many years, sprang to life. Here was the opportunity to take with his body what he'd been too cowardly to take with his sword with Ann. He should have killed that bitch, but this one here, this one was his here and now.
He poised his erection at the entrance to her womanhood for a long moment. Was he really willing to throw his honor, his nobility, his decency away for one slip of a girl? It would be a betrayal of everything he had once stood for. Could he take that last irrevocable step? Damn right he would. He growled low in his throat before pulling back to thrust himself inside her.
"I forgive you Athos." She whispered right before her scream of pain as he ripped through her virginal body. She sobbed, sagging against the chains that bound her arms above her head. Her body shook with it: the pain, the situation, it was nearly too much for her. It was only the knowledge that Athos had unwittingly called her Lizzy that kept her from losing her sanity. In all her years, only one person had ever called her that, Philippe. She knew well his power over people, his charm and charisma. She had fallen under his spell for months, done unthinkable things at his urging and had nearly married the man. How could she blame Athos for being as weak as she herself once was? She couldn't.
Athos' body went still. He'd felt the barrier he'd so callously ripped through. Of all that might have happened, this particular eventuality had never occurred to him. If she was a virgin, or had been at least, then the Count could never have taken her as his lover. Suddenly, all other things he'd been told came into question. They began to pale and lose significance. Athos dropped his forehead to press against hers, still shaking from her sobs. He had to be honest with himself. He might have hid behind a mask of righteousness at first, placated his conscience with it, but what it came down to was jealousy. Betrayal did not call for the punishment he'd exacted, he'd reacted in much the way a jealous husband might, then the realization hit him. He'd reacted exactly the same way. He was in love with her. Desperately, madly and irrevocably in love with an exasperating woman he'd known for less than a month.
Athos was brought back rather abruptly to reality when he realized he could feel every tremor or her body, from her head to her toes, mainly because he was still buried inside of her. He pulled back slowly and she flinched.
"I'm sorry my love." He whispered as he cradled her cheeks in his palms, "Please forgive me."
Elizabeth didn't smile, or even look at him as she replied, "I already have."
He groaned. "God I'm sorry." He pressed his cheek to hers.
"Athos..." Elizabeth began but faltered as his words hit her. He'd called her his love. Did he even know? Did he realize how much it meant to hear those words from him?
"What is it?" Athos lifted his head and looked into her eyes as he wiped a tear of her cheek.
Elizabeth swallowed, "My hands?"
"Hands?" Athos was confused.
Elizabeth looked up pointedly to where her hands were still encased in steel which was attached to the wall. "Yes, I'd really like to have them back if it's not too much trouble."
"Dear Lord!" Athos blasphemed, "Forgive me, I'd forgotten." He unlooped the chain and rubbed feeling back into her wrists. She blushed and Athos realized her state of dishabille, as well as his own. When her hands went to the buttons of her dress, Athos stopped her. "Let me fix it." He smiled without humor, "After all, I broke it didn't I?" He frowned over the tatters of rags he'd left on her bust. It would never be decent. Instead of attempting the impossible, he shrugged out of his own shirt and pulled it over her head.
Elizabeth wouldn't look at him as he tenderly tucked her into his shirt. "Better now?" Realizing his words he swore fluently, first in French, the German and finally a bit of Austrian. "Who am I to ask you that? God, Elizabeth, what I've put you through. I know you say you've forgiven me, but I don't think I'll ever feel good about myself again."
"People do stupid things..." Elizabeth began but stopped.
"People do stupid things..." he prompted.
When they're in love. "Nothing," She furiously backtracked, "it was nothing."
Athos wanted to ask her more, but felt reticent to push. He had no right to ask her anything, even something that simple.
She tilted her head back and met his eyes, "Athos?"
"Yes?"
"About Philippe and I..."
"Who's Philippe?"
"The Count, his real name is Philippe, I knew him when I was just a girl. Athos I want to tell you..."
"No Elizabeth." He pressed his fingers to her lips, "Don't justify yourself to me, I don't need to hear it."
"But Athos-" He silenced her with a kiss, as gentle as the others were rough. He caressed her lips with his own, and she moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
It wouldn't have mattered what she was going to tell him anyway. The door opened and Gustav entered. Athos' hour was up.
As you can see, Athos and Elizabeth play much different roles in this chapter than in the version I eventually went with. It seemed to me that it was a bit too Disney. Elizabeth is too proud to forgive Athos so quickly, no matter her understanding of his motives. And Athos is too bitter to have noticed anything as inconsequential as her virginity. Had he, he could not have been in so deep a rage, and this seemed odd to me. If he was driven to rape, all else should have been irrelevant. Anyway, this chapter obviously didn't sit quite right with me, so I rewrote the end of it to the other extreme, and I believe that it works much better for plot and character reasons; even if it did pose an entirely different set of unique problems to deal with.
Thanks again for the reviews and comments I've received, and please have a look at some of my other work. I may never be able to top Sons of the Sign, but I'm certainly going to try.
And perhaps, I may take a look at Porthos and Aramis' lives between The Three Musketeers and Twenty Years Later. Don't hold your breath though, it'll be a while if I do.
Update: In my original plan for Sons of the Sign, it was to be as closely linked with the actual books as possible- hence Elizabeth's abrupt death in the original epilogue in order to conform with her lack of appearance in Twenty Years Later. However, this saddened me to no end, so the ending is now more ambiguous. This has also given me leave to possibley write romantic entanglements for Aramis and Porthos ('cause really, I'm a romantic at heart) in my own AU universe where Elizabeth may or may not live. Aramis' story is begun, but still needs a lot of cleaning up... and a plot... and I still need to name the main character... and- you see the problem? Keep half an eye out for it but I'm making no gaurantees.
-Brandyllyn