Authors Notes: This is cryptic and short but purposefully so. And don't go jumping to conclusions about the parents just cos they aren't named, I may yet surprise you.
The alarm blinks 6:30 accusingly, and it takes a still bleary mind a moment to focus. It's morning again. My daughter is crying again. Groaning softly, I roll out of bed and pad through to the nursery.
"Sssh, honey, it's early,"
I whisper, leaning into the crib and lifting my baby into my arms. She's not a peaceable baby. She's restless and fidgets even in sleep. I haven't had a decent nights sleep since she was born. Which considering I'm doing this by myself, I think it's a miracle I'm even alive still.
I can't ever regret my decision to have, and to keep, her. I do feel a pang of guilt now and again that she's still with me when I gave up others in my life so willingly. But if I hadn't had Leila, then I wouldn't have had anyone in the world, so I had to keep her. She's beautiful. It's hard to tell who she looks like, as her deep brown eyes could have been inherited from either one of us and other than that she looks just like any other baby.
It's my fault I'm by myself though. I know that starker in these early morning moments than I do when I'm working. It's entirely my fault. The father is thousands of miles away in another time zone entirely, and clueless. I ran away, not him, so I have no right to be bitter towards him.
Did he ever try and find me? He claimed he loved me, enough to follow me? I doubt it, but I'd like to know he tried. It would be some solace in this lonely life.
The alarm blinks 6:30 accusingly, and it takes a still bleary mind a moment to focus. It's morning again. My daughter is crying again. Groaning softly, I roll out of bed and pad through to the nursery.
"Sssh, honey, it's early,"
I whisper, leaning into the crib and lifting my baby into my arms. She's not a peaceable baby. She's restless and fidgets even in sleep. I haven't had a decent nights sleep since she was born. Which considering I'm doing this by myself, I think it's a miracle I'm even alive still.
I can't ever regret my decision to have, and to keep, her. I do feel a pang of guilt now and again that she's still with me when I gave up others in my life so willingly. But if I hadn't had Leila, then I wouldn't have had anyone in the world, so I had to keep her. She's beautiful. It's hard to tell who she looks like, as her deep brown eyes could have been inherited from either one of us and other than that she looks just like any other baby.
It's my fault I'm by myself though. I know that starker in these early morning moments than I do when I'm working. It's entirely my fault. The father is thousands of miles away in another time zone entirely, and clueless. I ran away, not him, so I have no right to be bitter towards him.
Did he ever try and find me? He claimed he loved me, enough to follow me? I doubt it, but I'd like to know he tried. It would be some solace in this lonely life.