Poor Yami, I torment him often, which makes him an odd muse. I started this on Election Day, damned people were all lined up with their little signs in the back of our school (which serves as a main entrance to the third *top* floor) trying to support their person. It's sheer stupidity if you ask me, though, my science teacher said something like "16% of the population votes, therefore 16% of the people of the state run your life." Interesting, thank you Mrs. Hagen. Um....right then, I'll just start then.
Warnings: Same deal as last chapter. Yaoi and a much larger attempt of suicide, don' worry though....I love the turn out of it ^^
******
If someone asks me how I moved from being on the ground, to my room, I won't be able to answer. It wasn't Yugi, his grandfather had to take him to a Duel Monsters which if I had been around at the time, I would have gone too. Least the house is myself.
Just myself.
All alone.
They left me all alone by myself in a house with sharp objects in the kitchen. Mm...thank you everyone for that nice treat. Yes, my death wish is still in my mind.
I wonder if I were here when the two Motou's had left on such short notice if I really would have gone. No, probably not, now that I think of it, probably would have had me stay and watch the shop. Probably left me a note somewhere in the house saying I should watch the shop. Probably.
Or maybe not.
I search dumbfounded through the means of the house, staying away from the kitchen and the toys within. But damn, nothing is around. The shop is closed, and no notes in there left for little, old, ancient me anyway.
So that leaves one place.
The kitchen.
******
I enter the room, staring around as I sigh, plucking a large piece of paper off the refrigerator and seating myself comfortably at the kitchen table. The handwriting is of Mr. Motou, easy to define because it's sloppy made:
Dear Yami,
I have no idea when you'll be home to read this, we've been worried
of your sudden random disappearances, but nevertheless, I hope you
get this soon. Just at this day, I have gotten called out to a Duel
Monsters Convention, and I was needed to bring Yugi with me
(though he was much unwilling).-
"Oh, I'm sure he was," I rolled my eyes, somehow I doubt Yugi was "unwilling" to go to this convention. The great one who defeated Pegasus was needed to attend I bet, and yet I get no credit? Yeah, I'm sure he was thrilled to be in the spot light, as long as it was away from me.
Yet something urges me to continue reading.
It would have been an honor to have you with us, if you weren't
assisting my grandson, I would still be a card. Though, I do have
a favor to ask....Since you most unfortunately couldn't be here at
our time of leaving, may you watch over the shop? I'm sure you
have other things to be doing, Yugi and I will be gone for three
days...maybe four, so opening the shop one of those days is much
appreciated. I wish you well, Yami, and arigatou.
Ja ne,
Grandpa
I stare blankly at the note, as if someone shot an arrow through my heart. What was I expecting? I knew he would ask for me to do the shop, so why am I so angry...? So shocked? ARG! Dammit!
I slam my fist against the table, muttering my favorite curses followed by an angered comment. "Wish me well my ass..." I shuffle back to a drawer by the refrigerator and open it, pulling something out before storming for some odd reason back to my room, closing and locking the door.
No one was in the house, so why I locked the door, I have no bloody idea.
I collapse to the floor, eyes closed as I take off my jacket and roll up my shirt sleeve, fingers brushing over the hilt of the gripped utensil. Now my eyes are clenched, the burning feeling erupting from behind them.
Bakura.
I hope you wanted it like this.
I hope you liked seeing me suffer. Hell, you're probably laughing from where you are to see my weakness. My display of trying to kill off my frail body.
I hope I gave you some joy. You shouldn't have died, like you did, you didn't deserve it and I'm sorry. "I'm so damn sorry..."
******
The knife in my hold is shaking. Wait, no, that's just me.
A sigh. My sigh in fact, the last one I get out until I cringe in pain, realizing my nerves had pushed the blade deep against my wrist. My voice let's out a cry, feeling the heat and coldness all at once of the crimson (yet really purple) bile of my blood leak over the hand holding the knife as I remove it, and make another slice, embracing the pain.
"I-is this what I d-deserve....?"
Who the hell am I talking to?
I cry out again, third cut, oh look, I see a triangle in my skin.
Fourth.
And fifth. I'll die soon enough.
Six, and, damn what the hell that hurts!
I cry out, the stained knife falling from my shaking grip as I stare at my arm in sheer terror. It's not the fact of what I did *to* it that scares me, it's what is happening to it *now* that scares me.
The skin is pulling together, the blood that scattered around me REENTERING my body and the gashes sticking themselves together. Still trembling, I take the now clean knife in my hand and make a new cut, moving the blade up slightly to see that heal as well.
Another one. Ah! Good! That one isn't healing i-
Damn. I cry out in anger, unable to kill myself! "Why in Ra's name is this happening to me?!" I hold the knife over my chest with both hands, gritting out through my teeth. "Try healing this!" And the knife descends, but hardy even breaks my shirt's fabric, something is literally holding me back. In a wind of range the knife is across the room and in a wall as I break into tears, head buried in my clean arms. "Why can't I die?! Who up there or below hates me so damn much to make me suffer alone in this lifetime?!"
"No one hates you."
I freeze, tears now silently falling without the sounds of my whimpers. I look over at my closed window, then to my door which is still locked. I'm hearing voices, no one is in the room...
"And you are not alone."
"W-who's there?!" I literally shout, feeling my body pulled to my feet by some force I cannot pinpoint. My vision blurs momentarily and I see a form glowering before me, a gray aura surrounding the body and I nearly fall over unstably again. The figure reached a pale hand up, and touched my face and I felt a warm and secure feeling from it. Amazing, my mouth works now. "B-B-Bakura......? H-how...?"
"By form of the dead, thy spirit unwilling to die."
I turn away from his face, so soft and addicting to look at, but I can't show my weakness as I speak out, still looking away.
"Why are you here than."
"Because I found someone who seems to have a deep sense of caring for me..."
I turned my head slowly to face him, shocked and confused all at once. He notices this though and starts talking. "Why the hell would you want to kill yourself...?"
"I'm alone.."
"And I wasn't?!" Wow, he seems so....depressed.... "I went through each day, no matter how I tried, I was ignored like a street rat. My own *light* was against me. You.....you have friends Yami, even if you don't see that, see how much they care for your well being....I don't.."
"I care for you," my mouth hangs open in shock, I hadn't meant to say that. Dear Ra.... but he's not phased....
"I know. That's one of the reasons I am before you now. I thought though, after Mariku stopped you from drowning, that you wouldn't take another attempt from your life...."
I hang my head and look off at the side, then moving my gaze upwards slightly to gaze at the knife in the wall. "How did you know Mariku stopped me...?"
"I've been on this planet in this form since a day after I killed myself. Mariku, as you know or didn't, had been out of town and I lurked in the shadows by him for so long until showing myself, seeing him miserable of my death. He returned to Domino City while I searched around where he had been. I had a corrupted feeling in my chest and it led to you, and I told him to find you, where ever the hell you were as I returned to the city as well. I had been within it a few times, and I'm sorry if I had scared you, confused you even from one time-"
"Wait...." I pause, piecing something together as he looks at me blankly. "Did you move me from the ground yesterday, to my room....?"
He just nods.
And it all makes sense. I saw his eyes in the mirror, I felt his presence in the living room, I heard his voice calling the one worded question of "why" to me, and he.....he healed my cuts that I tried to die from....
"It was all me Yami. I didn't want you to suffer, like you though I did. It hurt hearing you think those words, I could hear your thoughts in this state, heard them so easily that you couldn't believe. And that made matters worse. I don't want to be like this, Yami, I don't....I....." I hear his voice pause, go low, and soft. Why..? "I want to be with you."
My eyes fill in awe, then sorrow as all seems to crash down in a wave of hopeless darkness. "But....how....?"
"Mariku already has searched the library of the town he was previously in, I believe he is in Domino's now...will you......will you help me obtain a body again....?"
"Of course!" I nearly yelled, probably surprised him, but, there was a chance, a chance that I could love him, when we are both as one! This is the happiest I've felt for the longest of times, I'm not alone anymore, even if Bakura doesn't have a solid form.... "I'll do anything.."
"Then I'll meet you at the library.."
So be it.
******
Ok, so maybe that was kinda cheesy, ne? Basically, Mariku (Yami Malik) and Yami are going to try and find a spell to maintain Bakura's "ghost" in a solid form. Fun, hm? Election day was yesterday (only took me a day to type this!) and Sununu won over Gene Shahene (don't expect me to spell). I could care less, the people with the evil signs are away from my school and all is at peace. Well. Kind of. I have to present a history project tomorrow! Wahhh!!! o.O;; Ra save me...
Warnings: Same deal as last chapter. Yaoi and a much larger attempt of suicide, don' worry though....I love the turn out of it ^^
******
If someone asks me how I moved from being on the ground, to my room, I won't be able to answer. It wasn't Yugi, his grandfather had to take him to a Duel Monsters which if I had been around at the time, I would have gone too. Least the house is myself.
Just myself.
All alone.
They left me all alone by myself in a house with sharp objects in the kitchen. Mm...thank you everyone for that nice treat. Yes, my death wish is still in my mind.
I wonder if I were here when the two Motou's had left on such short notice if I really would have gone. No, probably not, now that I think of it, probably would have had me stay and watch the shop. Probably left me a note somewhere in the house saying I should watch the shop. Probably.
Or maybe not.
I search dumbfounded through the means of the house, staying away from the kitchen and the toys within. But damn, nothing is around. The shop is closed, and no notes in there left for little, old, ancient me anyway.
So that leaves one place.
The kitchen.
******
I enter the room, staring around as I sigh, plucking a large piece of paper off the refrigerator and seating myself comfortably at the kitchen table. The handwriting is of Mr. Motou, easy to define because it's sloppy made:
Dear Yami,
I have no idea when you'll be home to read this, we've been worried
of your sudden random disappearances, but nevertheless, I hope you
get this soon. Just at this day, I have gotten called out to a Duel
Monsters Convention, and I was needed to bring Yugi with me
(though he was much unwilling).-
"Oh, I'm sure he was," I rolled my eyes, somehow I doubt Yugi was "unwilling" to go to this convention. The great one who defeated Pegasus was needed to attend I bet, and yet I get no credit? Yeah, I'm sure he was thrilled to be in the spot light, as long as it was away from me.
Yet something urges me to continue reading.
It would have been an honor to have you with us, if you weren't
assisting my grandson, I would still be a card. Though, I do have
a favor to ask....Since you most unfortunately couldn't be here at
our time of leaving, may you watch over the shop? I'm sure you
have other things to be doing, Yugi and I will be gone for three
days...maybe four, so opening the shop one of those days is much
appreciated. I wish you well, Yami, and arigatou.
Ja ne,
Grandpa
I stare blankly at the note, as if someone shot an arrow through my heart. What was I expecting? I knew he would ask for me to do the shop, so why am I so angry...? So shocked? ARG! Dammit!
I slam my fist against the table, muttering my favorite curses followed by an angered comment. "Wish me well my ass..." I shuffle back to a drawer by the refrigerator and open it, pulling something out before storming for some odd reason back to my room, closing and locking the door.
No one was in the house, so why I locked the door, I have no bloody idea.
I collapse to the floor, eyes closed as I take off my jacket and roll up my shirt sleeve, fingers brushing over the hilt of the gripped utensil. Now my eyes are clenched, the burning feeling erupting from behind them.
Bakura.
I hope you wanted it like this.
I hope you liked seeing me suffer. Hell, you're probably laughing from where you are to see my weakness. My display of trying to kill off my frail body.
I hope I gave you some joy. You shouldn't have died, like you did, you didn't deserve it and I'm sorry. "I'm so damn sorry..."
******
The knife in my hold is shaking. Wait, no, that's just me.
A sigh. My sigh in fact, the last one I get out until I cringe in pain, realizing my nerves had pushed the blade deep against my wrist. My voice let's out a cry, feeling the heat and coldness all at once of the crimson (yet really purple) bile of my blood leak over the hand holding the knife as I remove it, and make another slice, embracing the pain.
"I-is this what I d-deserve....?"
Who the hell am I talking to?
I cry out again, third cut, oh look, I see a triangle in my skin.
Fourth.
And fifth. I'll die soon enough.
Six, and, damn what the hell that hurts!
I cry out, the stained knife falling from my shaking grip as I stare at my arm in sheer terror. It's not the fact of what I did *to* it that scares me, it's what is happening to it *now* that scares me.
The skin is pulling together, the blood that scattered around me REENTERING my body and the gashes sticking themselves together. Still trembling, I take the now clean knife in my hand and make a new cut, moving the blade up slightly to see that heal as well.
Another one. Ah! Good! That one isn't healing i-
Damn. I cry out in anger, unable to kill myself! "Why in Ra's name is this happening to me?!" I hold the knife over my chest with both hands, gritting out through my teeth. "Try healing this!" And the knife descends, but hardy even breaks my shirt's fabric, something is literally holding me back. In a wind of range the knife is across the room and in a wall as I break into tears, head buried in my clean arms. "Why can't I die?! Who up there or below hates me so damn much to make me suffer alone in this lifetime?!"
"No one hates you."
I freeze, tears now silently falling without the sounds of my whimpers. I look over at my closed window, then to my door which is still locked. I'm hearing voices, no one is in the room...
"And you are not alone."
"W-who's there?!" I literally shout, feeling my body pulled to my feet by some force I cannot pinpoint. My vision blurs momentarily and I see a form glowering before me, a gray aura surrounding the body and I nearly fall over unstably again. The figure reached a pale hand up, and touched my face and I felt a warm and secure feeling from it. Amazing, my mouth works now. "B-B-Bakura......? H-how...?"
"By form of the dead, thy spirit unwilling to die."
I turn away from his face, so soft and addicting to look at, but I can't show my weakness as I speak out, still looking away.
"Why are you here than."
"Because I found someone who seems to have a deep sense of caring for me..."
I turned my head slowly to face him, shocked and confused all at once. He notices this though and starts talking. "Why the hell would you want to kill yourself...?"
"I'm alone.."
"And I wasn't?!" Wow, he seems so....depressed.... "I went through each day, no matter how I tried, I was ignored like a street rat. My own *light* was against me. You.....you have friends Yami, even if you don't see that, see how much they care for your well being....I don't.."
"I care for you," my mouth hangs open in shock, I hadn't meant to say that. Dear Ra.... but he's not phased....
"I know. That's one of the reasons I am before you now. I thought though, after Mariku stopped you from drowning, that you wouldn't take another attempt from your life...."
I hang my head and look off at the side, then moving my gaze upwards slightly to gaze at the knife in the wall. "How did you know Mariku stopped me...?"
"I've been on this planet in this form since a day after I killed myself. Mariku, as you know or didn't, had been out of town and I lurked in the shadows by him for so long until showing myself, seeing him miserable of my death. He returned to Domino City while I searched around where he had been. I had a corrupted feeling in my chest and it led to you, and I told him to find you, where ever the hell you were as I returned to the city as well. I had been within it a few times, and I'm sorry if I had scared you, confused you even from one time-"
"Wait...." I pause, piecing something together as he looks at me blankly. "Did you move me from the ground yesterday, to my room....?"
He just nods.
And it all makes sense. I saw his eyes in the mirror, I felt his presence in the living room, I heard his voice calling the one worded question of "why" to me, and he.....he healed my cuts that I tried to die from....
"It was all me Yami. I didn't want you to suffer, like you though I did. It hurt hearing you think those words, I could hear your thoughts in this state, heard them so easily that you couldn't believe. And that made matters worse. I don't want to be like this, Yami, I don't....I....." I hear his voice pause, go low, and soft. Why..? "I want to be with you."
My eyes fill in awe, then sorrow as all seems to crash down in a wave of hopeless darkness. "But....how....?"
"Mariku already has searched the library of the town he was previously in, I believe he is in Domino's now...will you......will you help me obtain a body again....?"
"Of course!" I nearly yelled, probably surprised him, but, there was a chance, a chance that I could love him, when we are both as one! This is the happiest I've felt for the longest of times, I'm not alone anymore, even if Bakura doesn't have a solid form.... "I'll do anything.."
"Then I'll meet you at the library.."
So be it.
******
Ok, so maybe that was kinda cheesy, ne? Basically, Mariku (Yami Malik) and Yami are going to try and find a spell to maintain Bakura's "ghost" in a solid form. Fun, hm? Election day was yesterday (only took me a day to type this!) and Sununu won over Gene Shahene (don't expect me to spell). I could care less, the people with the evil signs are away from my school and all is at peace. Well. Kind of. I have to present a history project tomorrow! Wahhh!!! o.O;; Ra save me...