AN A little humor ficcie, that is just complete nonsense. But that's okay, right? Consider it as an apology for taking so long in posting the next chapter for In Close Quarters. And I'm thinking up a way to continue Fragments. That might take a while though, since I planned it as a one-shot.
What just happened?
It was one of those days that no-one could find anything to do. Training was done, there was no tournament coming up any time soon, anyway, and the Bladebreakers, especially Tyson, had all rioted against their captain, saying they wanted some more time off for a change. The ice-man had caved and now they were hanging around the dojo, bored as hell.
Tyson laid sprawled on the floorboards, staring up at the ceiling, trying to come up with a way to lighten things up and occupy his time. His dark blue eyes wandered around the room, taking in the other people present.
First he came across Max, who was tinkering around with an old portable radio, while his headphones were plugged into the state of the art MP3 player attached to his belt. The blond had taken a liking to old mechanics and technology, much to the dismay of his parents, since he wouldn't stop badgering them for information on how to repair the old junk he found at car-boot sales and the like.
The next was Rei, who was steadily working his way through a puzzle booklet. He claimed he enjoyed the mental challenge the logic based puzzles gave him and had finished dozens of those booklets already this past year. Tyson didn't understand why anyone in their right mind would want to do something so intelligent outside of school.
That's why he also didn't understand why Kenny was always immersed in his computers, upgrading and perfecting them, trying to learn more and more about them. It was worse than Max's hobby. Tyson could envision their little computer genius turning out to be the next Bill Gates. It gave him a headache to think about it.
That left Kai. Tyson's dark eyes settled on the final person on his mental list, his teamcaptain. The Russian blader had made himself comfortable against the wall, immersed in a book he had picked up from the library from the looks of it. Tyson squinted to make out the author and title. Micheal Cunningham. The Hours. He had never heard of it. It sounded boring. Though he had to admit, it wasn't very thick. Maybe he could read it for English literature, should they ever have to read a book of their own choice.
Tyson turned his eyes back to the ceiling and evaluated the situation. He had four potential victims. Each of them presented him a variety of means to torture them and relieve his boredom. The question was, which of the possibilities would be the most satisfying?
He weighed his options carefully, considering the pros and cons, before coming to a decision. It was decided, that on the twenty-second of March Tyson Kinomiya would seriously badger Kai Hiwatari, until the aforementioned Hiwatari cracked and responded in a more emotionally manner than 'hn'.
Turning on his stomach, too lazy to climb to his feet, Tyson crawled on hands and knees to his victim and settled before him on his knees. The slow but steady movements had drawn the attention of the remaining occupants of the Japanese dojo and three pairs of eyes observed the events unfolding before them.
Tyson waited a moment to give his victim a chance to acknowledge his presence, though he doubted he would get a reaction even if he danced in a hula skirt on the beat of Tunisian drums under heavy spotlights. No, the initiative had to come from him.
"Kai?"
The one addressed didn't move.
"Kai, I wanted to ask you something."
"Hn..."
"Kai?" A dramatic pause. "Will you marry me?"
"Sure," came the murmured response.
Stunned silence fell. Widened eyes from around the room stared at the still reading dual-haired blader.
Rei shook his head with a unsure laugh. "Kai, do you realize what you just said?"
"Yes, I just agreed to marry Tyson." Kai calmly turned a page and continued reading in silence.
A solid thunk signaled the old radio slipping from Max's hands and falling on the floor. It would need some more repairing now.
"The question is," Kai continued suddenly, unperturbed by the stunned silence around him, "who will be the bride?" Turning another page he finally looked up. "I'm not wearing a dress."
Dark blue eyes blinked rapidly, the owner trying to take in this new turn of events. He quickly adapted to the situation and replied, "Why not? You'd look good in one. Your figure is better suited for it than mine."
Kenny laptop gave a squeak as his hands fell on the keyboard, pressing too many keys at once for the machine to be able to process.
"That doesn't mean anything. Anything you wear would look better on me. I am taller than you. You would make an odd groom, being a head shorter than your bride." The crimson eyes had returned to the book, slowly moving over the lines. "Plus, your hair is longer, easier to pin up and attach a veil to."
An odd sound escaped Rei's throat, the Chinese blader desperately attempted to stifle his laughter.
"But white is a wrong color for me. You're more suited for it, coming from a snowy country like Russia." Crooked logic perhaps, but he needed to make some kind of retort.
Kai snorted. "White is for virgin brides, Tyson."
In the sudden silence, the music coming from the discarded headphones could vaguely be heard. The words hung in the air, slowly penetrating in three different brains. Light blue, amber and color-unknown eyes fastened on the crouched figure in yellow t-shirt on the dojo floor. After a few more seconds of silence crimson eyes joined them.
"And you and I both know you aren't one. Isn't that so, Tyson?"
The younger blader huffed and flopped down to sit more comfortably. "Don't look so innocent, Hiwatari. Besides, that dressed-in-white thing is only some silly western tradition. We don't have to hold to that."
"Alright," Kai sighed, as if he were making a great sacrifice. "As long as we get a chocolate cake."
"With whole strawberries," Tyson added.
The three none participants of the discussion exchanged bewildered glances. To them it felt as if they had landed in a place conspicuously much as they envisioned the twilight zone to be. It was indeed an earth-shattering occurrence to have two people like Kai and Tyson discussing wedding plans. If those two could get married, and stay married, pigs could fly.
"And whipped cream," Tyson continued.
"Better save that for the wedding night," Kai returned, not lifting his eyes from his book.
So absorbed in the most astounding conversation ever to have taken place in the Kinomiya dojo Kenny failed to notice Dizzy crashing due to an uncurbed fit of laughter. When Max dropped the screwdriver from his hands, it crashed into the frail covering of the radio's loudspeaker, also demolishing the mechanics behind it. Max did not note. Rei leaned back with wide eyes, trying to comprehend just what the two bladers were hinting at amidst their banter.
Tyson frowned displeased. "What is it with you and whipped cream? There are more ways than that to spice up one's sex-life."
"Like you ever made a contribution," Kai snorted and turned another page.
Three pair of eyes the size of dinner plates stared at the bickering duo. All three of them had realized what Rei had been pondering about.
Tyson jumped to his feet in indignation. "That's easy to say. Being uke is damn hard. And just who came on to who in the first place, huh?"
Kai sighed and reread the last passage. "Alright, alright, keep your pants on." He growled and closed his book. "If you insist on continuing this conversation, I'll never get any reading done." He looked up. "Did you go ahead and order rings without me?"
Max fell over in the middle of the dojo floor. Eyes wide and foot twitching he did not pick himself up.
Tyson floundered for a moment, before comprehension settled in. "Would I do that? You always say I have no taste."
"That's because you don't," Kai deadpanned and rose gracefully to his feet.
"Jeez, thanks." The bluenet shook off the insult and slung his arm around the taller blader's shoulders. "Shall we deliver gramps the joyous news?"
They steered towards the exit and with a, "You're insane, Kinomyia," they disappeared from sight.
Three young man remained frozen in the Japanese dojo. It took well over ten minutes before one voice managed to squeak a few words.
"What just happened?"
AN Leave a review on your way out, please?