Providence
formerly known as: Untitled (6)
Hello, and welcome to Thursday. My name is Vegeta and I'm going to fucking kill myself or live trying. Today, I'm hoping to cease this heart from beating and stop these lungs from breathing. I'm going to take a bath.
I fill the tub with hot water and hum a nameless tune. So strange that I can feel so content and so much like shit at the same time. The little bathroom begins to fill with steam, and I begin to strip off my clothes. For the sake of whomever finds me, I leave my boxer shorts on. I turn off the faucet and climb in. This is it: death time. I exhale and drop myself below the water - face down.
Haha, any minute now, I should start to feel that aching in my lungs. It should only take a moment before I feel the pressure build, but I'll resist it. It shouldn't be long before I fall unconscious and die. Haha! Yes! Any minute now!
Any minute now...
Any..minute..now...
Any...
Minute...
Fuck it all! I can't even drown myself right! I bolt up and intake air angrily. I push my hair away from my eyes and glare at myself in the mirror. Worthless piece of shit Saijin body that can endure suffocation for extended periods of time!
My stomach abruptly growls. Attempting suicide apparently makes me hungry. I grab a towel and dry myself off on the way to the kitchen. Uhn...what to eat? I look inside my fridge to find bread, bread, and more bread. You can never go wrong with bread. I pull out a bag of wheat, take out two slices, and stick them in the toaster. Maybe after I eat I can try drowning myself again. Nothing more annoying than waiting out death while you're hungry.
The bread takes so long to toast. Come on! I want my bath!
I stare at the toaster as I feel the dawning of a horrible, terrific idea. I want to take my bath...but I don't want to wait on the toaster...
Eureka! I'll simply take the toaster with me!
I cackle as I unplug the toaster and run into the bathroom. You may be able to resist lack of oxygen but can you handle extreme amounts of electricity coursing through you!? Eh, body!?
I plug it into the nearest socket and then sit back into the tub, as if to relax. I smell the lovely aroma of baking bread and I pick up the toaster. I chuckle to myself as I hold it up in the air like an evil genius holds up its masterpiece.
I say, "Opps." Then, I drop the toaster.
---
Needless to say, I don't succeed in dying. What I do succeed in is shorting out all the lights. In complete darkness, I hear the toaster pop up. I take the toast and begin to eat, ignoring the tears that are already gathering in my eyes.
Within a minute, I'm sobbing. "Oh god..!" I whine, "I only felt a tingling sensation!" In between my great big, heaving sobs, I try to eat. As I cry harder, I try not to spew crumbs everywhere.
---
Eventually, I get out of the tub. I put on a robe after I dry myself off. Then, as an after thought, I grab the toaster and put on some boots. I march downstairs. People have come out into the hallways to see what's going on. Slivers of moon light come in from windows, and flashlights seem to go back and forth in confusion. I march heavily down the steps. Josie somehow sees me and she follows me downstairs.
"H-hey.." she says quietly and shyly, "Do you..know what's going on?"
I sniff loud and scream out, "YES! I am contining to exist on the mortal plane and just so you know this is not a good thing!"
"You tried to kill yourself?" she whispers. She sounds..mortified? Why should she?
"HELLO!" I'm yelling so loud everyone can hear me, "I'm suicidal! What do you think that means!?" I turn to her and shake the toaster above my head, "Aren't you one of those emo kids who want to cut themselves or some shit!? Don't you get it!? Wanting to kill yourself is different than actually trying, I guess!" She says nothing, and I know I should feel like an asshole for saying that, but I don't.
We make it to the first floor where Mrs. Tarintino is tying the belt on her robe. "Vegeta? Honey?" she asks me, "Are you okay?"
I think I'm delerious by now, and I continue to shout, "No, I am not alright! And you wanna know why? I said do you want to know why, Mrs. Tarintino!?"
"Yes," she replies calmly.
My nose is running by now and I'm sobbing uncontrollably, "Because I just tried to fry myself in the bathtub and this stupid fucking toaster couldn't get the job done!" I throw the appliance on the floor and stomp on it until all that's left is flattened metal and little bits of debris that got scattered from my angry foot. I kick it into the doorway, which then opens to reveal a person with a flashlight.
"Is there a problem here, ma'am?" the person - this man - inquires.
I interject, "Mind your fucking business, old man!" I don't why I say that really. I'm older than any human I come in contact with.
"I make it my business, pal," the male sounds cocky, "S.C.P.D. I'm Officer McKlain."
"Vegeta, please," Mrs. Tarintino continues in that perfectly tranquil voice, "He's here to help."
"No one can help me!" I yell furiously and then wipe my face off on the sleeve of my robe, "You just think I'm a fucking lunatic! You think you're helping me by dredging this shit up! My family died because of me, ok!? It's all my fault, and nothing you stupid bastards say or do is going to change that! My life is not worth living and I disgrace the memory of my wife and kids just by continually doing so! You can't kill me and I can't kill myself, so what difference does it make!?"
"Calm down, buddy," the cop warns.
"Vegeta, please," Mrs. Tarintino speaks softly at the same time.
"Fuck this," I growl. Before McKlain realizes what happened, his gun is in my hands. He, as well as Mrs. Tarintino and Josie, beg me to put the weapon down. "You think a piece of molded metal will hurt me!? HERE! WATCH!" I scream so loud the neighboring apartment complex should hear.
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"It doesn't-"
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"fucking-"
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"do-"
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"ANYTHING!"
Bang. Bang. Clink clink, clink, tink, tink. Click. Click.
I throw the gun - hard - at the wall and stand around the remains of bullets. They stare and me and I wipe my face clean again, but with the other sleeve this time. I swallow audibly and then drag my feet into the kitchen where I take a seat at the table and begin to really cry. I lean over the table and heave in air and just..cry.
After a moment, I feel Mrs. Tarintino's hands on my shoulders. "Shhh, Vegeta..." she rubs my back, trying to soothe me. She leans over me and starts to sing, "Duerme, niño chiquito...Duerme, mi alma..." I just keep crying. "Duérmete lucerito...De la mañana..." and she just keeps singing.
I have no idea when I fell asleep.
formerly known as: Untitled (6)
Hello, and welcome to Thursday. My name is Vegeta and I'm going to fucking kill myself or live trying. Today, I'm hoping to cease this heart from beating and stop these lungs from breathing. I'm going to take a bath.
I fill the tub with hot water and hum a nameless tune. So strange that I can feel so content and so much like shit at the same time. The little bathroom begins to fill with steam, and I begin to strip off my clothes. For the sake of whomever finds me, I leave my boxer shorts on. I turn off the faucet and climb in. This is it: death time. I exhale and drop myself below the water - face down.
Haha, any minute now, I should start to feel that aching in my lungs. It should only take a moment before I feel the pressure build, but I'll resist it. It shouldn't be long before I fall unconscious and die. Haha! Yes! Any minute now!
Any minute now...
Any..minute..now...
Any...
Minute...
Fuck it all! I can't even drown myself right! I bolt up and intake air angrily. I push my hair away from my eyes and glare at myself in the mirror. Worthless piece of shit Saijin body that can endure suffocation for extended periods of time!
My stomach abruptly growls. Attempting suicide apparently makes me hungry. I grab a towel and dry myself off on the way to the kitchen. Uhn...what to eat? I look inside my fridge to find bread, bread, and more bread. You can never go wrong with bread. I pull out a bag of wheat, take out two slices, and stick them in the toaster. Maybe after I eat I can try drowning myself again. Nothing more annoying than waiting out death while you're hungry.
The bread takes so long to toast. Come on! I want my bath!
I stare at the toaster as I feel the dawning of a horrible, terrific idea. I want to take my bath...but I don't want to wait on the toaster...
Eureka! I'll simply take the toaster with me!
I cackle as I unplug the toaster and run into the bathroom. You may be able to resist lack of oxygen but can you handle extreme amounts of electricity coursing through you!? Eh, body!?
I plug it into the nearest socket and then sit back into the tub, as if to relax. I smell the lovely aroma of baking bread and I pick up the toaster. I chuckle to myself as I hold it up in the air like an evil genius holds up its masterpiece.
I say, "Opps." Then, I drop the toaster.
---
Needless to say, I don't succeed in dying. What I do succeed in is shorting out all the lights. In complete darkness, I hear the toaster pop up. I take the toast and begin to eat, ignoring the tears that are already gathering in my eyes.
Within a minute, I'm sobbing. "Oh god..!" I whine, "I only felt a tingling sensation!" In between my great big, heaving sobs, I try to eat. As I cry harder, I try not to spew crumbs everywhere.
---
Eventually, I get out of the tub. I put on a robe after I dry myself off. Then, as an after thought, I grab the toaster and put on some boots. I march downstairs. People have come out into the hallways to see what's going on. Slivers of moon light come in from windows, and flashlights seem to go back and forth in confusion. I march heavily down the steps. Josie somehow sees me and she follows me downstairs.
"H-hey.." she says quietly and shyly, "Do you..know what's going on?"
I sniff loud and scream out, "YES! I am contining to exist on the mortal plane and just so you know this is not a good thing!"
"You tried to kill yourself?" she whispers. She sounds..mortified? Why should she?
"HELLO!" I'm yelling so loud everyone can hear me, "I'm suicidal! What do you think that means!?" I turn to her and shake the toaster above my head, "Aren't you one of those emo kids who want to cut themselves or some shit!? Don't you get it!? Wanting to kill yourself is different than actually trying, I guess!" She says nothing, and I know I should feel like an asshole for saying that, but I don't.
We make it to the first floor where Mrs. Tarintino is tying the belt on her robe. "Vegeta? Honey?" she asks me, "Are you okay?"
I think I'm delerious by now, and I continue to shout, "No, I am not alright! And you wanna know why? I said do you want to know why, Mrs. Tarintino!?"
"Yes," she replies calmly.
My nose is running by now and I'm sobbing uncontrollably, "Because I just tried to fry myself in the bathtub and this stupid fucking toaster couldn't get the job done!" I throw the appliance on the floor and stomp on it until all that's left is flattened metal and little bits of debris that got scattered from my angry foot. I kick it into the doorway, which then opens to reveal a person with a flashlight.
"Is there a problem here, ma'am?" the person - this man - inquires.
I interject, "Mind your fucking business, old man!" I don't why I say that really. I'm older than any human I come in contact with.
"I make it my business, pal," the male sounds cocky, "S.C.P.D. I'm Officer McKlain."
"Vegeta, please," Mrs. Tarintino continues in that perfectly tranquil voice, "He's here to help."
"No one can help me!" I yell furiously and then wipe my face off on the sleeve of my robe, "You just think I'm a fucking lunatic! You think you're helping me by dredging this shit up! My family died because of me, ok!? It's all my fault, and nothing you stupid bastards say or do is going to change that! My life is not worth living and I disgrace the memory of my wife and kids just by continually doing so! You can't kill me and I can't kill myself, so what difference does it make!?"
"Calm down, buddy," the cop warns.
"Vegeta, please," Mrs. Tarintino speaks softly at the same time.
"Fuck this," I growl. Before McKlain realizes what happened, his gun is in my hands. He, as well as Mrs. Tarintino and Josie, beg me to put the weapon down. "You think a piece of molded metal will hurt me!? HERE! WATCH!" I scream so loud the neighboring apartment complex should hear.
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"It doesn't-"
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"fucking-"
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"do-"
Bang. Clink clink, tink.
"ANYTHING!"
Bang. Bang. Clink clink, clink, tink, tink. Click. Click.
I throw the gun - hard - at the wall and stand around the remains of bullets. They stare and me and I wipe my face clean again, but with the other sleeve this time. I swallow audibly and then drag my feet into the kitchen where I take a seat at the table and begin to really cry. I lean over the table and heave in air and just..cry.
After a moment, I feel Mrs. Tarintino's hands on my shoulders. "Shhh, Vegeta..." she rubs my back, trying to soothe me. She leans over me and starts to sing, "Duerme, niño chiquito...Duerme, mi alma..." I just keep crying. "Duérmete lucerito...De la mañana..." and she just keeps singing.
I have no idea when I fell asleep.