Okay, so the xxxx, work much better. I digress though. Here you go! Here's the next part. Wish me luck, because I move back to school tomorrow. I have to face the chaos that is the college campus when students come back. I don't think I'm going to make it in one piece. Oh, and I haven't finished packing yet. I wanted to get this up before I packed up my computer and everything, and that was my excuse, and now it's getting down to the wire, and nothing, absolutely nothing, is packed up yet. Oh well. Anyway, review please and let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: Oh, so not mine.
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It was shock that kept the Cohens quiet after this announcement was made. Dave still smiled nervously at his son, but his view kept drifting back to the three Cohens who sat with their mouths agape. Sandy felt Kirsten's hand warm and comforting in his.
"Um..." Ryan spoke first, although he was the most shocked. His father had moved back in with his mother? They were going to be a family? Now, when he had everything that he could ever dream of, that he was afraid to dream of, they were deciding now to make it work as a family. Where was his father six months before when his mother kicked him out? That was right, he was in jail. Where he had been since Ryan was eight years old and watched as his father was dragged away screaming and cursing up a storm? There was a world of difference in the man that was pulled out of their house in Fresno, and the man sitting in front of him now. People always said that prison changed people, but Ryan hadn't expected his father to be changed for the better.
"You don't have decide right away," Dave jumped in quickly. "You can take some time, think it over, talk it over with the Cohens." Ryan just nodded and looked to his foster parents. Kirsten's eyes were closed and she looked like she was going to be nauseous and Sandy was gripping the table in the same manner that he himself had been minutes before. Seth was, for the first time that Ryan could remember, speechless.
He had to make this right for everyone. He had to fix this. But what was the answer? Was it to stay with the Cohens, and pretty much kiss any hope of having a decent relationship with either of his parents away? Or was it to go with his father and pretend that the Cohens were better off without him? And weren't they really? He had caused nothing but trouble in their lives. He couldn't help it.
Trouble just seemed to seek him out.
But he loved them. He loved them fiercely. He didn't think it was possible. Ryan wasn't really sure he could love anymore, but he could, and he did. He loved that Kirsten worried about him and made sure that he was eating right and studying and all those other things that mothers were supposed to worry about. He loved the pre-event chats with Seth, the PS2 battles, and hanging out at the pier with him and Marissa and Summer. He loved talking with Sandy about the past and about the future. He loved that he had a future.
And Marissa? What about her? Where did she fit into this whole equation? If he went back to Chino he would be giving her up. Something that Julie Cooper would just adore. Seth finally got his voice back and spoke up, breaking Ryan's reverie.
"Mom, can I...I need to...is it okay....I want....can I be excused? Massive amounts of homework to do...huge test tomorrow, I mean I might fail out of Harbor if I don't go study...and you wouldn't want that, I mean after all the...."
"Go ahead Seth," Kirsten interrupted. Her son needed to get away from the table, he needed to clear his head and think, and she couldn't exactly deny him that, when the very thing she wanted to do was to lock herself up in her bedroom and pretend that Dave and Dawn Atwood didn't exist and weren't trying to take her son away. They were Ryan's legal guardians now! And they loved him. He had somehow gone from being the juvenile delinquent to Kirsten's long awaited and hoped for second child. Could Dawn even get custody back? She made a mental note to steal Sandy's law books from the study and read the parts about custody for non-biological parents.
She knew though, that it didn't matter. If Ryan wanted to go live with his parents, then she and Sandy were in no position to stop him. If he really wanted to go back to Chino, they would let him. They weren't going to keep him there against his will. And she hated to admit it, but Dave didn't seem like too bad of a guy. Dawn was a mess, but Ryan had always maintained that life had been, if not good, at least decent when they lived in Fresno.
"Maybe I should go," Dave said after Seth had hastily retreated from the table. "Let this sink in. Mrs. Cohen, the meal was delicious, whether you cooked it or not," he grinned at Kirsten hoping to elicit some sort of smile back, but her eyes were fixed on her plate and she was biting her bottom lip. "Ryan, I hope that you consider our offer, and if it's okay, you, me, and Mom can all go out to dinner sometime this week and discuss it further." Ryan didn't reply, his eyes were focused on Kirsten's bent head and Sandy who was keeping one hand on her back and the other still with a white-knuckle grip on the tabletop. "I'll let myself out." With that, Dave left the dining room table and left the three still in shell shocked silence.
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Seth was the first one to broach the subject with Ryan. They were eating breakfast the next morning, the only sound the slurping of the cereal into their mouths when Seth spoke up.
"So, um...your mom and dad? What do you think about that?"
"I'm not sure," Ryan said slowly. "I don't know what to do Seth."
"Mom and Dad....they're going to....well, they're going to abide by your wishes. Whatever you want to do, they're going to accept, they may not like it, but they're going to let you do whatever you want." Ryan just nodded. He knew that Sandy and Kirsten were going to let him decide. No one had really talked after Dave had left. Kirsten had not even excused herself, just grabbed her plate of food and bolted. Ryan and Sandy sat silently for what felt like an eternity until Sandy finally sighed audibly and picked up his plate and headed for the kitchen. If Ryan wasn't going to talk, then neither was Sandy. He would follow Ryan's lead. Ryan had been very good about avoiding Sandy's eyes, and he knew that he needed some time to digest the information and let it sink in.
"And what about you?" Ryan asked. As with Sandy the night before, he refused to meet Seth's eye. Seth stood up and placed his empty bowl in the sink before crossing over to the stool that Ryan sat on.
"I guess I'm going to have to respect your decision either way," Seth told him. "Although, I do have to put in a vote for the Cohen homestead. We definitely have the edge on pools, beaches, girlfriends, and take-out." Ryan actually laughed as he placed his bowl in the sink next to Seth's.
"Duly noted, and you're right, you do have the edge on take-out."
"So my vote will be tabulated with the highest value that can be appointed in the voting system?" Again Ryan let out a small laugh.
"Sure, Seth, whatever you say, although your vote doesn't count nearly as high as say, your mom or dad's, or Marissa's, Summer's, hell, even Kaitlin Cooper's vote counts higher than that of Seth Cohen's."
"Low, Ryan that was really low. I had really hoped to rank above an eleven-year-old. What exactly is the scale on which the awarding of points is based on? Because I certainly think I can take any of them in any category and come out victorious." Ryan thought for a second and then grinned at his best friend.
"Hair. It's based on hair, and whether or not the individual in question can control their own hair," Ryan said smugly. Seth was rubbing off on him. It just reminded him of what he would be leaving behind if he chose to go back with his parents. Sure he would still have Seth, it wouldn't be goodbye forever, but Seth would be in Newport, and Ryan would be in Chino, and to be perfectly honest, those worlds really didn't mix too well. He knew what would happen, eventually he or Seth would get too busy to drive the hour to see one another, and although they would promise each other that they would work something out, it wouldn't work out. And one day he would just be a topic of conversation every once in awhile, an anecdote. Do you remember when Sandy brought that kid home with him? What was his name? Brian? Ryan. It was Ryan.
How could he choose to leave here? How could he choose to leave Seth, Marissa, even Summer? How could he go back to Chino and be content when he knew how much was out there that was so much better? When there was a mother out there that didn't drink herself mean, and who didn't bring home a new boyfriend every night who would make Ryan their own personal punching bag? When there were fathers who came to every soccer game and yelled embarrassingly loud and obnoxiously? Who weren't in jail, who hadn't left? When there were brothers that played video games about stealing cars, instead of actually going out and stealing a car and trying to pin the blame on their younger brother? How could he leave this?
"Touché," Seth said shaking his head. "I will have you know, that there was a time when the fro was in style."
"1974?"
"Again, you mock, but when the fro comes back, I will be the coolest person in Newport Beach, nay, the country, dare I say the world?"
"Right," Ryan said smiling.
How could he choose to leave this?
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It sucked. The position that Dave had put them in. Ryan looked as if he was constantly weighing the options in his head, and Kirsten was trying to make everything good for him, right for him, in the hopes that if everything was perfect, than Ryan would stay.It was a sinking feeling in the pit of Sandy's stomach that told him somehow Ryan would choose his biological parents over them.
Ryan had gone to talk to Marissa about everything, and Seth currently had Summer in the living room and they were watching a movie with Kirsten. His wife was curled up on the chair in a tight ball, and she was crying. She claimed it was at the movie, but Sandy had a feeling that she just needed a good reason to cry. He grabbed a bottle of water and walked into the living room.
"What are you watching?" Seth sighed loudly. It had been the fourth time that his father had come in and asked this question.
"I was all about enlightening my girlfriend and mother to the wonder that is Donnie Darko, but they insisted on watching My Girl." He rolled his eyes as he glanced over at his mother and Summer, both of whose eyes were red with tears. "He hasn't even died yet! Why are you crying?" Sandy knew why Kirsten was crying, and wasn't surprised when she didn't answer to Seth's outburst.
"I know he will! It's just a matter of time! Those bees are going to get him, and then they're going to try to bury him without his glasses, when everyone knows that Thomas Jay can't see without his glasses!" This started Summer into another fit of tears, and her head bent down, causing a curtain of dark hair to fall in front of her face. "God Cohen! You have no heart!" Seth finally placed an arm around Summer.
"It's not real Sum, it's just a movie. Thomas Jay is a fictional character, and the actor," Seth stressed that word. "Macauley Caulkin is still alive."
"But look at him!" Summer wailed. "Married at seventeen! Divorced before the age of twenty! He doesn't speak to his parents and he hasn't had a decent hit since Home Alone 2." Even Kirsten managed a small smile at this coupled with Seth's obvious inability to find anything to say to that.
This was what they needed, Sandy thought. They needed to have this afternoon where everything seemed normal at least. Ryan was off with Marissa, Seth had no idea what to say to Summer, and his wife was....well, Kirsten was huddled in a chair crying, a rare occurrence for her, but he had to say, that two out three wasn't bad. He crossed over to Kirsten and offered her his hand, which she took and he led her out of the living room where Seth and Summer were now fighting over which was a worse movie, Getting Even with Dad or Richie Rich, and into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear.
"It's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay." Sandy just wished that he had some way to deliver this promise.
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Ryan returned home that evening with a determined look on his face. He had talked with Marissa, and after many tears were shed from, he hated to admit, both of them, he had come to a decision. He went to open the glass doors leading to the kitchen, but stopped instead before going in and just watched.
Seth was arguing with his mother over something, Ryan could only imagine, and was gesticulating wildly with his arms. Kirsten was trying to look angry, but he could tell that she was suppressing a smile. Sandy was at the counter, pouring two glasses of wine for him and Kirsten, and two glasses of milk. Kirsten was a stickler about drinking milk at dinner, and only let them have something different when they had guests over. Sandy was taking Kirsten's side, he could tell this by the look of thinly veiled disgust on Seth's face, and the look of sheer amusement on Sandy's. He enjoyed getting Seth annoyed far too much.
Ryan sighed, before reaching for the handle and opening the door. Everyone stopped and looked up at him when he entered.
"Ryan, my good man, I'm sure you will side with me," Seth started, but Kirsten placed an arm on Seth's arm. She could see that Ryan had something to say, and since this was a rare occurrence, they should take advantage of it.
"I...I've decided...I think it would be best...I probably should...." Why was this so hard? Kirsten already felt her insides twist and Sandy moved closer to his son and wife, as much for himself as for the two of them. "I think I should move back in with my parents...this is our second chance, and I...I knew that you guys would accept it, and it made it easier knowing that your support was unconditional ....whereas theirs isn't..." Seth wanted to scream at Ryan that what he just said was the exact reason that he shouldn't be going off with them. But instead, he bit his lip to stop the tears that threatened. No one said anything for a minute, and Ryan nervously excused himself from dinner citing that he had eaten over Marissa's, and maybe he would grab something later. He didn't see Kirsten collapse into the chair with her hand covering her mouth as she didn't even try to hold back her sobs. He didn't see Sandy come to her and pull her into his arms and reach out for Seth. He didn't see Seth accept his father's arms only for a moment before wiping away a few tears and taking the stairs two at a time so that he could go to his bedroom and cry in peace. He didn't see Sandy hold Kirsten in his arms and rock her gently back and forth to calm her down, all the while, he was dying inside.
Ryan didn't see any of this, because he hadn't turned around when he had walked away from them in the kitchen. Because if he had turned around, he feared might not leave.
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Okay, before you get your britches all in a twist, just relax and review, and I promise I will try to make things better. Okay? Okay. Get to the reviewing, because the faster that you do that, the faster I update.