Sorry this took so long, it was another football weekend (i.e. translate that into I spent most of the weekend lying on the bathroom floor in the fetal position cursing the creators of alcohol), and Hurricane Ivan hit and there was massive flooding (it was crazy, the kids at my school turned some of the hills into slip and slides!) Anyway, I just got back from failing my first statistics exam so please review and make me feel better! Thanks!
Disclaimer: So not mine.
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Sandy really didn't notice that Caleb wasn't there any longer until Seth returned and Ryan disappeared to go see Kirsten.
"Where did your grandfather go?" Sandy asked Seth. He had been sure that Caleb would have been one of the first people to demand that he be allowed to go see Kirsten. Seth just shrugged as he took a seat next to Summer.
"Not sure, he said that he had something to take care of," Seth answered. Sandy felt his blood boil. And here he thought that Caleb was turning over a new leaf. In the waiting room talking to him, Sandy had actually thought that the old man had a heart. But where was he now? As soon as he heard that Kirsten was going to be okay, he took off. He didn't even go back to see Kirsten for himself. Sandy took a deep breath. He couldn't focus on Caleb right then. He had to save all of his energy for Kirsten.
"How'd it go back there?" Sandy asked.
"She looks so pale," Seth commented. "And you know, I made fun of her cooking, and the fact that she's spleenless now. I even made a pun comparing spleenless to spineless, and nothing. I expected her to sit up and say my name in that disapproving way that she always does." Sandy let out a small laugh.
"At least you talked to her, that's good. That's what they said to do. And don't worry, I'll remind her to yell at you when she wakes up." Seth nodded and was quiet for a second.
"She's really going to be okay, right Dad?" He looked at Sandy in a way that he hadn't looked at his father in a very long time. In that way he used to when he was little, and looked to Sandy to make sure that everything was going to be okay, was going to turn out okay. In that way so Sandy knew that Seth actually believed that he could make things better. And Sandy wanted to make things better for him. For Ryan. For Kirsten. He just wanted Kirsten to wake up.
He wanted more than anything to see her smile.
"She's going to be okay, Seth," Sandy assured him. "She's fine." Seth nodded.
"Good."
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Ryan walked into Kirsten's rooms and stood by the door. He wondered if when she woke up if she would blame him for what happened to her. He wondered if Sandy really blamed him despite all the times he had assured him that he didn't. When he looked at her, all he saw was her lying motionless on the ground, her breathing forced and heavy. How long would that last? Could he ever look at her again without seeing that? Would he always feel this guilty?
Ryan was almost scared for her to wake up. He shouldn't have gone back to her room. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't deal with her lying in that hospital bed and him being at least the partial cause of it. But he wanted to touch her. Feel her warm and still alive under his hand. He moved cautiously towards the bed and reached out and took her tiny hand in his. It felt cold. Then again, Kirsten's hands were always cold. Sandy claimed that she was the only woman in southern California who always wore a sweater.
"We could all be on the sun, melting and dying, and Kirsten would say, 'Is that a breeze? I swear I just felt a breeze. I need a sweater'," Sandy teased. Kirsten would stick her tongue out at him.
"I just don't like to be chilly," she argued.
"Mom, there's a difference between chilly, and 'Seth! Turn off the air conditioner, you could store meat in here!' when it's 92 degrees outside," Seth butted in.
"It's okay Kirsten," Ryan had jumped in. "You're allowed to be cold. They're just jealous because the two of them sweat like pigs."
"Thank you Ryan," Kirsten had said slipping an arm around his shoulders. "I always knew that I liked you best."
"Hey," Seth said. "First of all, I don't sweat, I glow. Second of all, Mom, I thought I was your favorite."
"Things change," Kirsten had told him to which Seth pretended to be hurt.
Ryan touched her face gently. She looked peaceful, at least, he thought. She didn't seem to be in much pain at least. He knew that she would be though, when she woke up. Just another reason that he was nervous for her to wake up. He didn't know if he could stand to see her in that much pain, and he knew that Sandy especially wouldn't be able to see her in any kind of pain. He had told Ryan once that when she was having Seth, it had broken his heart to see her with tears streaming down her face asking him to make the pain stop.
"I couldn't take it," Sandy told him. "I had to leave the room. I just couldn't see her like that. I couldn't do anything about it, I couldn't make her stop hurting, and I hated that feeling. I calmed myself down and reminded myself that it wasn't about me, and went back in there to hold her hand, but it just...it broke my heart. I would have traded places with her in a heartbeat if I could have."
Sandy was probably going crazy, Ryan decided. Knowing the Kirsten was hurting and he couldn't make it better for her.
And again for about the hundredth time that day, Ryan was hit with a feeling of overwhelming guilt.
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Caleb returned two hours later, and Sandy was back in Kirsten's room with her. Julie looked up from her magazine when he walked in.
"Where have you been?" She asked.
"I had something to take care of," he said cryptically as he took a seat.
"What things?"
"Don't worry about it," he told her in a voice that told her not to argue with him about it anymore.
"But..." She started and he put his hand up.
"I said, don't worry about it." She knew not to argue anymore and just nodded.
"Sandy's back in there with her," she told him.
"Did she wake up?"
"Not yet."
"How long has he been back there? I want to be able to see her too." Then maybe you shouldn't have disappeared for hours, Julie wanted to tell him, but she kept her mouth shut.
"I'm not sure," she replied instead. Caleb sighed and settled back with a magazine, sighing loudly every few minutes to let everyone know that he was annoyed. He was surprised to see that the kids were still there. He figured that Seth and Ryan would stay, of course, but Marissa and Summer were still there too. Everyone waiting and hoping that Kirsten would wake up soon.
Sandy came out twenty minutes later to get some coffee, and Caleb announced that he was going to go see his daughter. He left no room for Sandy to argue, and stalked off back to Kirsten's room.
She looked so much like her mother. Kirsten had always favored Kate, much more so than Hailey. And he couldn't help but be reminded of Kate dying of cancer when he saw his daughter lying in the hospital bed, pale and tiny. It was too much. He couldn't see her like this; he couldn't be in here with her like this. He crossed over to the bed and took her hand in his. He would tell her more often that he loved her, he resolved. He would tell her how proud of her he was. How amazing she was. How he couldn't run the Newport group without her, even though he liked to pretend that she was expendable. Why did he do that? Why didn't he tell her every single day that he loved her?
"Kiki," he started and then remembered that she hated that name. "Kirsten, honey, I just wanted to let you know that I took care of it. He will never hurt you or the boy again." No one crossed Caleb Nichol, and tonight, Dave Atwood would learn that lesson.
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When Caleb came back out, only minutes later, Sandy went back to her room. He knew that Seth and Ryan wanted to go back again to see her, but Sandy honestly didn't care. He needed to be near her. He needed to be able to touch her.
Sandy couldn't blame Caleb for not wanting to be in his daughter's room for very long. He was sure that it brought back painful memories, and besides that, it was awful to see Kirsten like that. So helpless. It wasn't a word normally connected with his wife.
"Hey beautiful," Sandy said taking a seat in the chair next to her bed and taking her hand. "You going to wake up for us soon? Seth's been teasing you, and Ryan's been overcome with guilt. So you know, you have to wake up to dish out punishment to one and to assure the other. I tried telling him that you didn't blame him, that if you had to, you would do it again. But he won't listen." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I love you." He held her hand in his and closed his eyes for a second. He wasn't particularly religious. Sure, he celebrated all the holidays, but he knew that he could be more involved. But he had found himself praying all day. He had even caught Seth praying, although he knew that if he mentioned it to his son, he would deny it.
"Sandy?" His eyes shot open to see Kirsten's eyes fluttering open.
"Oh God, Kirsten," he said leaning forward to kiss her on the lips. "How are you feeling? Are you okay? You scared the crap out of us honey."
"My side hurts," she said placing her hand on her stomach.
"You punctured your spleen ,and they had to remove it," Sandy explained. "Do you remember what happened?"
"Ryan," she said suddenly. "Is Ryan okay?"
"He's fine. Broken wrist, and wracked with guilt, but okay."
"It wasn't his fault."
"I know that, and I tried telling him that, but you know, the damn kid just wouldn't listen. Reminds me of someone I know," he teased her. She reached up and touched his face.
"I was so scared," she admitted. "I fell, but I don't remember anything after that."
"Dave did a number on you," Sandy said, just saying it reminded him that they still have to find Dave and Dawn. They still had to press charges. They still had to deal with the aftermath of all of this.
"Sandy, I'm so sorry," she said. He took her hand, still on his face in his and gave it a squeeze and then kissed it.
"It's not your fault, you were doing what you thought was right."
"He's coming home now, right?" Kirsten said.
"Yes," Sandy said smiling at her. "He's coming home." And Sandy got what he had been praying for all day, Kirsten smiled at him.
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What did Caleb do?!?! And how will Ryan react to whatever he did? Haha, please review and let me know if you still enjoy it. You guys are the best, the very best, don't let anyone tell you any differently. Okay, I'm off to another class, blech. Review please!