Living a Made Up Life

Chapter 2

"HERMIONE!" I turned and saw Harry and Ron sprinting towards me, "We lost him." they panted.

"Oh great," I muttered angrily,"Okay lets split up, hopefully we'll find him in time."

I checked the library, transfiguration room, defence against the dark arts room, but he was nowhere to be found. I was about to go and search the dungeons when I saw a blood stained knife and a splatter of blood on the floor (it was enough to make me hurl) leading up to the astronomy tower. I followed the gruesome path to find something that almost made me pass out, there he was standing on the ledge of the balcony, bleeding at the wrists and looking almost wistfully at the ground below, he bent his knees and prepared to jump off.

"No!" I screamed as I ran forward and pulled the back off his shirt causing it to rip and for him to stumble backwards off the ledge and straight onto me.

"Fuck!" he muttered as he rolled off me, "What the hell are you doing here Granger?"

"Stopping you from making the worst mistake in what just may have been your short life!" I pulled out my wand and healed his bleeding wrists; he just stared at me in confusion.

"What?" I asked

"Why do you care?" he replied, "Why did you save me after all the stuff I did to you?"

"Well I guess it's because....actually I don't know why, it just seemed the right thing to do." I said pretty lamely

"Mmmm, I thought you'd be happy to see me gone." he muttered

"Not THAT type of gone." I said assuring him

H smiled slightly, but stopped when he met my eyes, I couldn't exactly see what was going on behind them so I decided to ask.

"Why were you about to do, what you were going to do?"

"What?" he replied, "Commit suicide?"

"Yeah" I said uneasily, "Why?"

"I dunno."

"There must be a reason," I persisted, "I mean you can't just decide you want to out of the blue!"

His eyes looked down trotted. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again; he did this three times before I addressed him:

"You can tell me you know, I won't tell anyone else." He stared at me for a few seconds before he spoke:

"Most people think that I have everything I've ever wanted," I silently agreed.

"But I don't, the one thing I don't have is-"

"Your own country?" He looked at me, "Sorry bad joke..." He smiled.

"No I don't have my own country but I also don't have a caring father."

"What do you mean?" I asked

He sighed again, and opened his mouth again.

"I – I – it's just-"he spluttered, "It's hard to explain."

"Well is there some way you can show me what you mean?" I asked attentively.

This made him look even more uncomfortable, he sighed again, I looked into his eyes and saw that there was a way. He reached down and took hold of his ripped shirt.

"Go on" I whispered. With that he pulled up his shirt to expose a very long deep, half healed cut that was sliced right across his chest. Without even considering what I was doing, I reached out and softly ran my fingers over it. He shivered and backed away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "Didn't mean too."

"That's OK," he muttered,"I'm just not used to people touching me like.....like they care." He looked down and kind of shuffled his feet a bit.

"Did your father do this to you?" I whispered, once again reaching out and stroked the cut again, observing it a bit more closely.

"Yeah, before he was taken away, its taking a while to heal, anyway that wasn't the first time." he murmured.

"What do you mean?" I squeaked, surely this wasn't a usual punishment.

"Let me just say that the Cruciatus Curse doesn't have quite has much of an affect on me anymore...." he said bluntly. I felt my mouth drop open but felt no strength in order to close it again, he noticed this and lifted his hand and closed it for me, I couldn't help but blush.

"So....so your father punished you......for no reason at all, for how long?" I stammered.

"A few years, I always thought I'd done something to deserve it and then learnt how to put up with it."

I reached out and took hold of his wrist and looked at it properly for the first time, I saw healed scars across his wrist.

"This wasn't the first time you've cut them was it?" I asked questioningly

"No, whenever my father didn't come and beat me I thought that I should punish myself, so I did...." he murmured.

"But doesn't it hurt?" I asked

"Not anymore I mean, I've kinda gotten used to it."

He sat down and leaned up against the wall, I couldn't help but notice how incredibly good looking he was, no wonder Lavender goes on and on about him, I never really saw it but I do now. I sat down beside him and just stared up at the sky. I turned my attention back on him to find him with his eyes closed and a partly pained expression on his face, I reached out and laid a hand on his cheek, he opened his eyes and gazed at me through his grey/blue eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

With that he leaned over to me and pressed his lips against mine.
"No, I am, I've treated you like crap over the years because that's what my father wanted but look where that's gotten him a cell in Azkaban." he muttered, "I'll never be like him."

I kissed him again this time more deeply

"I know you won't...." I whispered

(a/n) I will be writing more stories (if you can handle it) please review