I love you all! Is that weird? Does that make me weird? Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing and please, please do it again! I'm off to do the crossword puzzle in Statistics, so leave me something happy to come back to please! Again you guys are the greatest!
Disclaimer: Um, not mine so much.
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Sandy's head was spinning as he made his way to Kirsten's room. He had dropped Ryan off at their house, to take some time, try to get some sleep, and just clear his head. Seth had appeared in the doorway when they pulled up.
"Grandpa kicked us out," Seth explained. "Told us to get some sleep and some showers." Sandy just nodded, and Seth studied both his father and Ryan. Both looked like they had been through the wringer, and while Seth knew that it had been a long day for all of them, the two looked like something had just happened. Did something happen to his mom? Then why were they here? If something was happening with his mother, Seth knew for a fact that his father wouldn't be anywhere other than her side. But if it wasn't Kirsten, then what was it? "Are you guys okay? Is Mom okay?"
"She's fine," Sandy assured him immediately. "Unless you know something that I don't?" Seth shook his head. "Then she's fine. I'll let Ryan explain. I want to get back to the hospital." He ran his hand through his hair.
"Dad, maybe you should get some sleep," Seth said.
"I'll sleep when your mother is home," Sandy said.
"Dad...seriously..."
"Seth, it's fine okay? I want to go back and see your mother, I haven't been able to see her for a few hours. If she's okay and asleep, I'll try to get some sleep there." Sandy knew that he wasn't going to sleep. Even if he could lie in his own bed, there was no way that he would be able to nod off. First, he never did sleep well without Kirsten in the bed with him, and second, so many things were running through his head that he didn't even know how to begin to sort them out.
What had Caleb done? And how had he done it? They said it was a police shootout. Dave had a gun. It was a coincidence. Right?
So what did that man in the elevator mean? Tell Mr. Nichol it's done. What's done?
"Take care of him, okay?" Sandy motioned into the house where Ryan had disappeared.
"Yeah, sure no problem. Is everything going to be okay Dad?" Seth was a smart kid, and Sandy was reminded of this again. He didn't ask if everything was okay then, he had asked if everything was eventually going to be okay. Obviously, things weren't okay then. Kirsten was still in the hospital. Dave was dead. And Dawn was still missing. No things weren't okay. And would they be? Sandy didn't have an answer to that. But he couldn't tell Seth no, so instead, he just nodded.
"Yeah, Seth, it's going to be okay," Sandy was lying through his teeth, but he offered Seth a tight smile, and if Seth didn't believe him, he certainly didn't say anything. Instead he nodded, reached out and gave his father a much needed hug, and watched as Sandy got into the car and drove away. Seth closed the door behind him and went to find Ryan.
He was in the kitchen, sitting on one of the stools, his head buried in his arms. Seth was at a loss as to how to start this conversation. And Seth was never at a loss to start any conversation. He stood there for awhile hoping that Ryan would look up and start it for him, but Ryan continued to hide his head.
"Are you okay?" Seth tried. Ryan looked up, surprised that Seth was in the room with him.
"No," Ryan answered truthfully. Seth went to the cupboard and started pulling out things to eat. This looked like it was going to be emotionally exhausting, and Seth believed fully that things got better if there was food involved.
"What happened? Where did you and Dad go?" Seth asked realizing that it probably had to do with wherever the two had disappeared off to.
"My dad's dead," Ryan said slowly. It was the first time that he had said those words. Seth nearly dropped the bag of chips that he was holding.
"What?" He asked in shock.
"That's where we went. We went to the morgue. My father is dead." Seth's head was spinning as he placed all the food on the counter between him and Ryan.
"What...how? When?" Seth stuttered.
"Not sure when. He was shot by a police officer," Ryan said. He was trying to remain in control. He would not cry. He would not think about how he had wished for this. He would not.
Seth didn't know what to say. It was happening a lot lately, and he didn't particularly like it.
"Dude..." he finally got out. "I'm so sorry." Ryan just shrugged.
"I'm going to bed," he told Seth ignoring the massive amounts of food that Seth had just set out before him.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk?" Seth asked. "About that? About anything?" What was it with these Cohens and always wanting to talk? Ryan wanted to know.
"No, I just really want to get some sleep," Ryan said. Seth wasn't stupid. He knew that Ryan wasn't going to be able to sleep. Not tonight. And probably not the next night, or the one after that either. Seth couldn't even imagine being in Ryan's shoes right now.
Seth was feeling conflicted on this topic. On the one hand, it was Ryan's father, and no one deserved to die. But on the other hand, if anyone did deserve to die, it was certainly Dave Atwood. After what he had done to Ryan? After what he had done to Seth's mother? Seth couldn't say that he wasn't at least a little pleased at the news of Dave's death, and he knew that if he was struggling to determine if he was an awful person for thinking that, then surely Ryan was feeling this ten times over. And Seth, being Seth, wanted to talk about it. But Ryan, being Ryan, wanted nothing more then to crawl into his bed and pretend that none of this was happening.
"No," Ryan replied. "I just really want to get to bed."
"Okay," Seth said ready to let him go. "Oh! We picked up some extra strength Excedrin for your wrist. Do you want some? Does your arm hurt?"
"No." Seth knew that if his mother were there, she would insist that Ryan take the pills. She would force them down his throat and make him stick out his tongue so that she could be sure that he had taken them.
But his mother wasn't there.
"You sure?" Seth asked.
"Pretty sure," Ryan said. "I'm fine Seth, really." With that, Ryan shut the door to the kitchen leaving Seth standing there alone.
Ryan's choice of words was really quite ironic, Seth decided. Because he was anything but fine.
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Sandy arrived at Kirsten's door and glanced in. Caleb was asleep in the chair next to Kirsten's bed, and Kirsten was sleeping peacefully. Well, not exactly peacefully, he supposed. He wondered how much pain she was in. He closed the door softly, but woke up Caleb.
Sandy didn't know what to say to Caleb, or how to say it. So did stage Dave Atwood's death to look like a police shootout? How many people did you pay off to get Dave Atwood taken care of?
The only thing that had an answer was why. Sandy knew why. The reason was lying in that bed with IV's in her arm to at least try to lessen some of the unbelievable pain that she was in. Sandy had always said that he would die for her, he would kill for her. But Caleb actually had. And Sandy knew that Caleb didn't regret it. Even if he got caught, he wouldn't regret it.
"Sanford. Where have you been?" Caleb asked.
"What did you do?" It was the first thing that came into Sandy's mind. He didn't even have time to stop it from coming out.
"What are you talking about?"
"Dave Atwood is dead."
"Am I supposed to be sad about this?" Caleb got up and started to move towards the door. "And keep your voice down. Kirsten is trying to sleep."
"Some man. He stopped me in the elevator. He said to tell you that it was done. What did you do? How did you do it?"
"God, Sanford, your imagination is getting away from you. He's my lawyer, I asked him to draw up a new will. Kirsten's brush with death made me think about my own mortality."
Suddenly Sandy felt ridiculous. They were in a courthouse, and it would make sense that Caleb's lawyer would be there. But how did Caleb's lawyer know who Sandy was? And why was he so sneaky about it? Tell Mr. Nichol it's done. If it was so innocent, then why didn't he just say, "Tell Mr. Nichol that I finished drafting his will." Wouldn't that have been easier?
"Then why...." Sandy started and he trailed off.
"Why what?" Caleb asked.
"Never mind," Sandy said. "But Caleb. If you did do it. If you did have a hand in Dave Atwood's death....I want you to know a part of me is disgusted, and the other part is thanking you and jealous that I wasn't able to take care of it myself." He stopped for a moment. "I just want to know. Between me and you. Did you have something to do with it?" Caleb was quiet for a moment.
"I'll leave you alone with her. You probably want to spend some time with her. I'll have you know though, Sanford, you can get anyone to do anything for you if you give them the right incentive." And with that Caleb left.
He had done it. He had paid off police officers to shoot down Dave Atwood. Sandy was once again reminded that there wasn't anything that Caleb Nichol wouldn't do. Sandy knew that he should tell someone, but also knew that it wouldn't matter. Even if he did tell someone, Caleb would have covered his ass. It was his lawyer who Sandy talked to, and Sandy had simply jumped to conclusions. It had been a long day for all of them, and Caleb had been in the hospital with his daughter the whole time. There was no way that Caleb could be involved in something like this. Even if they did figure out what police officers he had paid off, he probably hadn't used his real name. It was untraceable. The only way that anyone would even think that Dave's death was at all fishy would be if Sandy said anything. He was a convicted felon, who was in violation of his parole. Even if he hadn't really had the gun, the officers surely had reason to suspect that he was dangerous. He had nearly killed his son and his son's foster mother. Highly dangerous.
Sandy shook his head. He went over and took Kirsten's hand and gave it a kiss. With a sigh he sunk down into the chair next to her bed. Telling would do no good, but how could he not tell? Could he just pretend that the man was talking about Caleb's will? Of course, Caleb's will was probably changed, so if Sandy wanted to ask, Caleb's story would check out.
"Sandy?" Kirsten stirred and opened her eyes. She winced in pain as soon as she awoke a little more. "Where have you been?"
"I'm so sorry sweetie. I had to go identify Dave Atwood's body." Sandy had to tell her, she was going to find out sooner or later.
"He's dead?" Kirsten's eyes widened. "Poor Ryan, does he know yet?" Sandy was amazed once again by his wife. The man who had placed her in the hospital, put her in the amount of pain that she was in was dead, and she thought first of Ryan who must be hurting because it was his father. Sandy always knew that she was a better person than him. She had just once again proved it.
"He came with me," Sandy said nodding sadly.
"Is he okay?" Kirsten looked panicked, and Sandy placed a calming hand on her arm. She didn't need this. They all didn't need more stress added onto their lives.
"I don't know. I took him home. Seth is there with him."
"How did he die?" Kirsten asked quietly. Sandy wanted to tell her the truth. Well, I'm pretty sure that your father bribed some police officers into shooting him, but he couldn't.
"Police shootout." Kirsten nodded, taking it all in.
"What about Dawn?"
"Not sure, no one's found her yet."
"Ryan doesn't need anymore pain," Kirsten said shaking her head sadly.
"None of us do," Sandy said. "Speaking of pain. How are you feeling?"
"Eh," Kirsten replied. "My head hurts pretty badly, and I had a little trouble breathing before because of my ribs."
"Do you need more pain killers? I'll go get the nurse. Do you want me to get the nurse? Do you need anything else?" Sandy was ready to jump out of his chair to go get Kirsten whatever she needed, and it was Kirsten's turn to place a calming hand on his arm.
"Sandy, calm down. There's a button to call the nurse, we'll just press it okay?"
"Okay," Sandy said. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I just hate to see you in pain."
"I know," she said smiling at him and taking his hand. "Are you sure that Ryan is all right?"
"I don't know, honey," Sandy answered honestly. "I'll let him at least try to get some sleep and then I'll try giving them a call at the house. It's a lot for anyone to deal with. He asked me if I wished for Dave to die."
"What did you say?"
"I told him after what his father did to you and Ryan, that yes, a part of me did wish for him to die," Sandy said looking at her. "And he told me that he did too." Kirsten rested her head back and closed her eyes.
"He needs to talk to us about this. He's going to try to keep it all in," she said. It was true, and both of them knew it. Ryan was notorious for keeping his emotions locked in tight, and this would be no different. There was a quick knock on the door, and the nurse came in.
"You shouldn't worry about this anymore," Sandy told Kirsten. "You need to rest." Right, Kirsten thought. Don't worry about it. How was she supposed to not worry about it?
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Ryan sat on the floor of the bathroom in the pool house where he had thrown up every ten minutes for the past hour. Now it was just dry heaves.
His father was dead. And he wasn't sad. Or was he? He was so confused. He missed who his father used to be, before prison. He missed who his father was when he came back at first from prison, but he didn't miss the man who had put Kirsten in the hospital. He didn't miss the man who would scream at him and grab him by the arm or the ear and hit him with empty beer bottles. But did the good outweigh the bad? Or did the bad outweigh the good? Ryan's head was spinning, and he leaned over the toilet and dry heaved once more.
Leaning back against the cool tile of the bathroom, Ryan closed his eyes. His entire body began to shake with the intensity of his sobs. And he lay there, crying and shaking, until his body was exhausted, and he laid his head down on the floor and fell asleep.
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Is that enough suffering for Ryan? Or do you want more? Will he find out that Caleb had something to do with his father's death? Let me know! And let me know if you still like this or if you're getting bored, I have a very fragile ego. Anyway, I'm sure you guys don't care about me or my emotional well-being, but review please!