AN: Kay, this is taking a lot longer than I had anticipated but oh well. Thanx to everybody who reviewed, you guys are awesome! Oh, and I don't own Buzz Lightyear, but you knew that.

Chapter 4: Monsters and Blueberry Pies

XR and Booster raced across the moon's rocky surface, dodging rocks and craters. The roars behind them were getting closer and closer and the rangers were headed straight for a giant cliff.

"Craters!" XR exclaimed, skidding to a stop. "It's a dead end." Out of the shadows, the beast crept up to the rangers, followed by a lion with a dragon-like tail, a winged snake, and a crocodile with numerous legs. "What is this, a mutation convention?" XR said.

"O man! What are we gonna do?" Booster asked, nervously.

"Well, I know what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna be the live bait."

"Hey, I've got an idea."

"Does it involve bait?"

"No."

"Voluntary distraction?"

"No."

"Tranquilizer guns?"

"No."

"Then you can count me in, buddy. What's the plan?"

As the ferocious creatures crept toward the rangers Booster quickly whispered his plan to XR.

"That's suicidal!" XR yelped.

"You asked if it involved bait, distractions, or tranquilizer guns you said nothing about suicide."

"Point taken. Well, here goes nothing."

"Sitcom...sitcom...sitcom..."

Buzz sat in the large overstuffed chair, flipping through the channels, his voice had dropped to a bored monotone as he stated the type of show playing on each channel. "Sitcom...sitcom...sitcom...sit..."

Mira groaned and laid down on the couch, "Buzz, give it up already. They're all sitcoms."

"Mira, there are 368 stations on this thing, they can't all be sitcoms."

"And you're gonna look at each and every one until you find something decent to watch."

"Perseverance, Mira. That's what brings even the most hopeless ranger out of the darkest of circumstances."

"Too bad it doesn't work on the most colorless." Mira muttered.

XR and Booster stood mere inches from the edge of the cliff, the strange animals circled around them. The wolf-like creature from before growled and then lunged at them. "Now!" Booster yelled. The two rangers activated their jetpacks and soared into the air. The beasts skidded to a stop, knocking pebbles over the edge. XR whipped out a giant gun and tossed it to Booster.

"Let 'um rip, big guy," his metallic voice echoed through the air. Booster to careful aim and pulled the trigger. A large net flew out of the gun barrel and wrapped itself around the lion-like creature. The beast roared and in one swift motion tore the net to shreds. "I knew I should have gotten the laser net, but nooooooooooooo it's much too dangerous for a robot..."

"XR, lookout!" Booster yelled as the winged snake swooped down towards him, its rattle shaking intensely. It hit XR in the arm and tried to dig its jagged fangs into the metal, but to no avail. With nothing to bite into, the snake slipped of the robot's arm and dropped towards the ground.

"Well, that was easy." XR said.

The crocodile stood up on its four back legs and snapped at Booster's ankle. The Jo-Adian instinctively flew higher, bumping into XR. The crash hooked their wings together and the two rangers struggled sending sparks flying into the air. Booster and XR swerved from side to side, struggling to break free when, suddenly, their jet packs shut off. They looked at each other, and then down at large canyon they were hovering over. And, with the four creatures looking on with surprise, they fell screaming at the top of their lungs.

"Sitcom...sitcom...sitcom..."

"What is it with men and hogging the remote?" Mira muttered to herself. They had spent the last half hour arguing continuously about...everything. The whole time Buzz had been flipping through the channels, knowing full well there wouldn't be anything decent to watch. If Mira hadn't been annoyed with him before, she was now.

Buzz sighed and turned off the TV. "Congratulations," Mira said, "It's been half an hour and already you've found out there is nothing on!"

"I'm getting kinda hungry," Buzz said, walking into another room.

"Uh, Buzz," Mira said, "we're in a virtual reality world."

"Yeah, so."

"So...how do you know there is any food here?"

He shook his head, "Mira, Mira, Mira. I'm Buzz Lightyear. I'm always sure." He threw open the door to reveal a large, vintage-style kitchen complete with a 1950's refrigerator and red and white polka dotted wallpaper.

"How did you know that?" Mira asked, wide-eyed in amazement.

Buzz laughed, "So young; so easily impressed," he said to himself.

Mira scowled and stepped into the kitchen. The two walked over to the fridge and swung the door open, revealing row after row of...

"Pies?" Buzz and Mira said in unison.

"An 8 feet high refrigerator and it's filled with nothing but pies?" Mira said in disbelief.

"Unbelievable. Completely unbelievable...Hey, look they have boysenberry!" Buzz reached into the fridge for a large pie.

Mira grimaced, "Buzz, the filling's black. How do you know what kind of pie it is?"

Buzz sniffed it, "Ranger instinct. You want some."

"No thanks, I'll pass."

"Suit yourself."
Buzz, holding the pie awkwardly in one hand, walked over to a drawer looking for a knife. As he walked, some of the gooey, black filling dripped onto the floor. Not finding a knife, he turned to look through another drawer and slipped on the filling. The pie flew out of his hands and landed with a messy splat on top of Mira's head.

For a minute the room was silent. Dark goop dripped down Mira's face and hair. She smacked her lips, "Actually," she said, "its blueberry." Buzz began to laugh, it started as a soft chuckle and by the time Mira interrupted him, had crescendoed into nothing short of a dull roar. "What's so funny?"

"You should...you should see yourself!" Buzz said between laughs.

Mira grinned and pulled another pie out of the fridge and smartly pushed it into Buzz's face. "Right back at ya," she said with a smile.

Buzz wiped the creamy filling from his face and dashed toward the pies. Mira predicted his move, grabbed a pie in one hand, a can of whipped cream in the other, and squirted Buzz with the whipped cream. She then darted behind an overturned table. Buzz flung what looked to be an apple pie at her retreating form, hitting her in the shoulder. From there, there was no turning back. The pie war of the ages was beginning.

Both combatants proved to be dangerous components. Buzz stationed himself behind the trashcan, which, fortunately, was empty, and Mira turned the table on its side and ducked behind it. They each had to make frequent runs to the opened refrigerator to restock their ammunition. Strangely enough, the more pies they threw at each other, the more pies appeared in the fridge. Strawberry, blueberry, apple, chocolate crème, thousands of pies rocketed through the air like bullets. For awhile, nothing could be seen but silver tins streaking through the air, often coming into contact with the counter or a hapless photo hanging from the wall.

Mira shot a banana cream pie at Buzz, he ducked and it met the wall with a slap, sliding like a snake down the wall. Buzz returned fire with a cheesecake that hit the table with such force pieces of cheesecake flew everywhere. By the time Buzz and Mira collapsed exhausted on the floor they, and the rest of the kitchen, were covered with gooey pie filling.

Mira laughed, "Look at us," she said, "we're covered in this stuff!"

Buzz picked up an empty pie tin and looked at his reflection. Yup, his features were almost indiscernible behind a thick layer of pie filling. With one finger, he scooped some of the gooey mess off his face and into his mouth.

"Ewww, Buzz, that's gross!" Mira exclaimed.

"What," Buzz replied, "I'm still hungry!"

AN: That whole pie scene was my lil tribute to the pie fight in the movie The Great Race. Now, please review and give me any comments you may have. Come on, you know you want to...