Part 16: Damned Conquest
April 1st 2013
I remember doing this a long time ago, right about the time Clover found me at my worse-than-dead-end job at Bev High. I remember it really helping me to organize my thoughts... and well, my thoughts need a whole lot of organizing right now.
I'm back to feeling like a cog in a wheel, just like back then. The only difference is that there is no Octavio... though that weird woman with the purple hair might as well be him. She hasn't done anything to me physically... Hell, she hasn't even talked to me... but every time I look in her direction I find her staring straight at me like she's getting ready to jump on me and rip my head right off my shoulders.
Roll along little cogs... at least nobody's being beaten (that I know of) though Clover tells me there's just as much danger as there was under the Imperium of Christ if I'm discovered to have a Zardexian body. I guess I should expect that under an army that calls itself the "Imperium of Humanity". What a fucking joke that they consider themselves so morally superior to the Imperium that came before them when their policies are almost identical.
I might be tempted to run away and join the Zardexian army if it wasn't for Clover. General Reynolds has us working at all hours of the day on various projects for the war, and we only get a few hours to sleep. So there's not much time for romance, but still, just working near Clover seems to help me clear my mind. Every so often I'll catch her eyes and wonder just what universal good fortune led me here after over a decade of loneliness.
Puh... I sound like a cheesy romance novel. Who knew love actually made you feel like that? I'd be really disgusted at myself if I wasn't too busy being both content and pissed off at the exact same time. Happy with Clover, pissed at this Goddamn second Imperium that has me looking over my shoulder at all hours of the day. If I wanted to live like this I could've stayed in Beverly Hills with Octavio.
Sam told me the other day that it's curious that the Ear Bleeder didn't work on the Zardexians themselves, just their technology. Hmmm... if that's true, does it mean I'M immune to the Ear Bleeder too? That's kind of a relief, but if anyone else finds out, I'll be completely screwed. Of course after that Sam went on a rant about how stupid it was to use the thing. I think that girl has some issues.
But then, who doesn't these days?
Ah, time to go work diligently for my new masters... er... I mean fight for the good of humanity.
Mandy
April 6th 2013
Whew... only a few days and I've been involved in two battles against the Zardexians. Each one didn't last long, as the Ear Bleeder destroyed their technology, then the Leviathan... or as its come to be known, the Siren... took down all of the surviving Zardexian soldiers. We took heavy losses too though, and I got damn lucky I got out of the way before I was fried too during the second battle. But, more people flood in every day. It looks like General Reynolds just may be onto something with her approach. We're actually winning for the moment.
Unfortunately, I haven't had much time alone with Clover. Those few times we are alone together we're both too damn tired to talk, let alone be romantic.
We don't even get much to eat, and honestly, what I have been eating hasn't been all that filling. I still have energy and all, but my stomach feels like a black hole or something. Maybe I should start asking for bigger portions at dinner. People might complain, but I can barely sleep over the sound of my growling stomach.
That purple-haired woman was following me around all day today. I finally found out from Sam that her name is Alison First, the second-in-command to General Reynolds. Fantastic, that's all I need, another high-ranking Imperial officer riding my ass. I swear deja-vu doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. If it wasn't for our military successes and the threat of the Zardexian armada I'd try to overthrow THIS damn Imperium too.
At least she hasn't tried to talk to me or accused me of anything yet, even though if what Clover said is true she probably suspects me of being a Zardexian. But if she does, why hasn't she turned me in by now? As if I WANT her to turn me in for some reason.
Aw well, me and Clover are both still alive and kicking, and it doesn't look like that Alison broad plans to expose me, so I guess everything's still okay around here. As long as we keep winning.
Mandy
April 10th 2013
Alison finally approached me to talk today. She didn't say a whole lot, she mostly just stared at me for a few minutes, then asked me a few question about Clover. I thought that was pretty strange... if she thinks I'm an alien, shouldn't she be asking CLOVER about ME? I'm officially getting creeped out here... what IS that woman up to?
In other news, Sam's been looking nervous lately. She keeps staring up at the sky when she's supposed to be sleeping. Maybe she's wishing she joined those interstellar refugees Clover told me about. I know I probably would've gone with them if I'd been around to. But I'm stuck here, so I get to fight with a strange creepy freak staring at me.
Ugh... my stomach's grumbling. They refused to give me bigger portions, and I think it's starting to take its toll on me. To make things worse I've been feeling nauseous for the last few hours. Maybe I'm catching something... well I did spend a few days sitting naked out in sub-zero temperatures, but why would it take so long to feel it?
Ugh... whatever. I'm feeling sick so I'm gonna get going to bed early tonight. I'm glad that more people are showing up every day, so we don't have to work those twenty-hour shifts anymore.
Mandy
April 13th 2013
Ow... ow... man, I screwed up pretty bad today. Me and Clover were assigned to load the weapons in preparation for an upcoming assault against a known Zardexian base... yes, we're finally going on the offensive! But while we were doing that my concentration slipped and I accidentally shot myself in the stomach. It hurts like a bitch... and worst of all, I was bleeding purple Zardexian blood. I am so lucky Clover got me back to the barracks unseen so she could clean me up.
So I'm still safe I guess, and we confirmed that I'm at least a little bit bullet proof. It's weird that it bled though... with the Zardexians we fight bullets tend to do more bouncing off than hurting... but this one actually broke my skin and made me bleed. Maybe I'm more human than I thought? Or maybe there's some other factor I don't know about...
But after we were safe Clover pointed out that my having purple blood again was a bad sign... and thinking about it, she's right. One little prick would expose me as the alien I am now. I need more human blood to be totally safe... but I can't just keep taking it from Clover, that could put her in serious danger too. So what am I supposed to do here?
Alison hasn't talked to me again since that first time a few days ago, but she hasn't been following me around quite as much. Maybe she's finally starting to trust me? That would be one less concern to worry about... but there's still the chance she's planning something behind my back.
Hmmm... I do need blood... perhaps...
GAH! What the Hell am I thinking? Was I really going to suggest to myself that I kill Alison and drink all of her blood? What the Hell is wrong with me? I'm no murderer, I'm not about to kill someone whose only crime is trying to look after the well being of the human race! Even if they do it through many of the same methods the Imperium of Christ implemented...
Geeze, I need some fresh air...
Mandy
April 17th 2013
Uuuugh... I'm getting weaker by the day now. My arms are shaking even as I type out this journal entry. I'm sure everyone's noticed by now... the food they're giving me just isn't cutting it anymore. What the Hell is wrong with me? I'm getting really scared here... what if I have some Zardexian disease that there's no cure for?
Okay, enough Mandy... positive thoughts... ummm...
Oh! Clover and me finally found some alone time yesterday evening. I wasn't sure Clover would go for a second "date", but she surprised me by suggesting that very thing. For someone who was always so boy-crazy, she seemed pretty energetic with me now that she wasn't suffering from severe blood-loss. Even this morning she was in a good mood, jumping up and ready to go. I wonder why her sudden change of heart... I mean she said she kinda loved me back in Dämon-Mörder, but since then she seemed kind of distant. Huh...
Why on Earth am I over thinking the only good thing to happen to me since coming back? Clover's consistently and vehemently fought for me this entire time, I shouldn't try to look for reasons to start distrusting her now.
DAMN I'm hungry! Grrrr... okay, think other thoughts. Think of something else... something else... something else...
Alison talked to me again yesterday too, actually that's why me and Clover found that alone time. She decided to give us both a few extra hours of rest... said something about me looking a little pale. I know I'm looking a little ragged these days (They don't FEED me enough!) but why would she give me time off if she thinks I'm an alien? She's just confusing me... she's been nothing but nice to me so far now that I think about it.
MAN I'm HUUUNGRY! I'm about ready to eat human flesh if it'll fill this gaping hole in my stomach. I feel like one of those zombies from a video game or something. Maybe Clover'll give me some of her food tomorrow.
Braaaiiiins...
Mandy
April 22nd 2013
Oh man, so much happened in the last few days. I have no idea where to begin. Hmm... I guess I should go in order.
Sam's unit (in which me and Clover are officers) was ordered to go with General Reynolds and the Siren to Switzerland to attack a Zardexian convoy that was apparently on their way to attack Moscow. We landed a little after daybreak, when the sun was just coming up. The Zardexian ships were just sitting on the ground... we should've known something was up. It was the first time we've ever seen them sitting idle like that.
The little death-balls ambushed us! Most of us didn't even have time to put on our Sensible Soundproof Earplugs. They just came at us from the sides, and the ships lifted off from the ground to attack from the front. I didn't hear anything, but General Reynolds must have activated the Ear Bleeder, because half of the troop (those who didn't get their Earplugs on in time) doubled over screaming.
Including Clover and Sam.
I rushed to put their Earplugs on, but I forgot to get mine on too. I saved them from going deaf (or worse), but I couldn't really go around putting EVERYONE'S plugs on. The ships were taken down by the Ear Bleeder, but the Zardexians kept coming from all sides. The Siren was swarmed, and all around me people were slaughtered left and right.
But General Reynolds... the crazy bitch... had a plan. The Siren was electrified, and nothing could touch it without being fried. That... damned thing started rampaging across the battlefield, blasting and stepping on anything that moved. Worse still, she still had the Ear Bleeder on, or so I guess from watching most soldiers still clutching at their ears.
I ran for the Leviathan to try to tell General Reynolds to shut the damn thing down, but a Zardexian got between me and it. I tried to get away, but it grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the ground. I thought it would eat me... but it stopped. I'm still not sure if I was hallucinating... if maybe the stress got to me, but I swear I heard it talk. One word...
"Zeninia."
Of course the General HAD to blow it up right then. I wonder what that word means... is it a Zardexian greeting? A swear word? What? Or maybe a name... my name, perhaps?
Nah, it doesn't seem right. I'm Mandy. That's that.
After that I made my way back to Sam and Clover and dragged them away from the field of fire, since they were still stunned from the blast of the Ear Bleeder. All I could do was drag them into a small ditch I found while the Siren tangled with the Zardexians. I don't know why the General brought us along... the Siren alone is all she needs. Does she enjoy the feeling of power from watching the rest of us die?
Finally the fighting stopped, and I pulled Clover and Sam out of the ditch. It smelled horrible... the bodies that lay all around me were unbearable. Human and alien alike... barely anyone had survived the onslaught of the Siren. Though those that did were all human... and dazed.
I don't know if anyone noticed that I never had my Earplugs on... but nobody's said anything so far. Alison though has been giving me a wide berth, and more strange looks. Clover and Sam recovered a few days later from the effects of the Ear Bleeder, and by now can both hear perfectly well again.
I really don't think I should write this... but I found a way to solve one of my problems. There were a lot of bodies lying around the field, and... well... bodies have blood. I volunteered for the battlefield cleanup crew after it was over... and managed to sneak some blood away from the area. It should be enough to keep my blood red and human for a few days at least. If Clover asks how I did it... I'll say it's a Zardexian trick.
That doesn't do much for my growling stomach though. It seems like it'll never stop. I don't even know what I'm hungry for. Clover gave me some of her food before we left on that assault mission, and it didn't help in the slightest.
Oh well... almost losing Clover during that battle makes feeling a bit hungry look like a stupid complaint. I guess it's a lesson to be more thankful for what I've got than angry about what I don't have.
Mandy
April 27th 2013
Hehehehehehehehehe... it's not really that funny, but I can't stop laughing. After all that fighting we've been doing. All those victories we've racked up over the last few weeks. All that worrying I did over Clover's well-being, and that damn Alison woman figuring out I'm an alien... none of it fucking mattered. We're all going to be flattened soon anyway, the Siren won't be able to help us any longer after this.
Hmm... I wonder if me and Clover could disappear somewhere. There are still pockets of civilians in some cities around the world, though most of them are crazier than our esteemed General. Nah, Clover wouldn't agree to that. Besides, I wouldn't feel right. I guess I get to just sit here with everyone else waiting to "fight", but really just waiting to die at this point.
Damn, I can see the shadow now outside my window. It's moving across the entire city, it doesn't seem like there's any light left out there. I should go find Clover now, the least I want to do is die with her...
The main fleet of the Zardexian armada has finally arrived... so I guess this is my last journal entry. Goodbye cruel world for the second time. I wish I could say it was fun... but the truth is, I fucking hate this place anyway.
Amanda Victoria Delaroyale
April 1st 2013
I remember doing this a long time ago, right about the time Clover found me at my worse-than-dead-end job at Bev High. I remember it really helping me to organize my thoughts... and well, my thoughts need a whole lot of organizing right now.
I'm back to feeling like a cog in a wheel, just like back then. The only difference is that there is no Octavio... though that weird woman with the purple hair might as well be him. She hasn't done anything to me physically... Hell, she hasn't even talked to me... but every time I look in her direction I find her staring straight at me like she's getting ready to jump on me and rip my head right off my shoulders.
Roll along little cogs... at least nobody's being beaten (that I know of) though Clover tells me there's just as much danger as there was under the Imperium of Christ if I'm discovered to have a Zardexian body. I guess I should expect that under an army that calls itself the "Imperium of Humanity". What a fucking joke that they consider themselves so morally superior to the Imperium that came before them when their policies are almost identical.
I might be tempted to run away and join the Zardexian army if it wasn't for Clover. General Reynolds has us working at all hours of the day on various projects for the war, and we only get a few hours to sleep. So there's not much time for romance, but still, just working near Clover seems to help me clear my mind. Every so often I'll catch her eyes and wonder just what universal good fortune led me here after over a decade of loneliness.
Puh... I sound like a cheesy romance novel. Who knew love actually made you feel like that? I'd be really disgusted at myself if I wasn't too busy being both content and pissed off at the exact same time. Happy with Clover, pissed at this Goddamn second Imperium that has me looking over my shoulder at all hours of the day. If I wanted to live like this I could've stayed in Beverly Hills with Octavio.
Sam told me the other day that it's curious that the Ear Bleeder didn't work on the Zardexians themselves, just their technology. Hmmm... if that's true, does it mean I'M immune to the Ear Bleeder too? That's kind of a relief, but if anyone else finds out, I'll be completely screwed. Of course after that Sam went on a rant about how stupid it was to use the thing. I think that girl has some issues.
But then, who doesn't these days?
Ah, time to go work diligently for my new masters... er... I mean fight for the good of humanity.
Mandy
April 6th 2013
Whew... only a few days and I've been involved in two battles against the Zardexians. Each one didn't last long, as the Ear Bleeder destroyed their technology, then the Leviathan... or as its come to be known, the Siren... took down all of the surviving Zardexian soldiers. We took heavy losses too though, and I got damn lucky I got out of the way before I was fried too during the second battle. But, more people flood in every day. It looks like General Reynolds just may be onto something with her approach. We're actually winning for the moment.
Unfortunately, I haven't had much time alone with Clover. Those few times we are alone together we're both too damn tired to talk, let alone be romantic.
We don't even get much to eat, and honestly, what I have been eating hasn't been all that filling. I still have energy and all, but my stomach feels like a black hole or something. Maybe I should start asking for bigger portions at dinner. People might complain, but I can barely sleep over the sound of my growling stomach.
That purple-haired woman was following me around all day today. I finally found out from Sam that her name is Alison First, the second-in-command to General Reynolds. Fantastic, that's all I need, another high-ranking Imperial officer riding my ass. I swear deja-vu doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. If it wasn't for our military successes and the threat of the Zardexian armada I'd try to overthrow THIS damn Imperium too.
At least she hasn't tried to talk to me or accused me of anything yet, even though if what Clover said is true she probably suspects me of being a Zardexian. But if she does, why hasn't she turned me in by now? As if I WANT her to turn me in for some reason.
Aw well, me and Clover are both still alive and kicking, and it doesn't look like that Alison broad plans to expose me, so I guess everything's still okay around here. As long as we keep winning.
Mandy
April 10th 2013
Alison finally approached me to talk today. She didn't say a whole lot, she mostly just stared at me for a few minutes, then asked me a few question about Clover. I thought that was pretty strange... if she thinks I'm an alien, shouldn't she be asking CLOVER about ME? I'm officially getting creeped out here... what IS that woman up to?
In other news, Sam's been looking nervous lately. She keeps staring up at the sky when she's supposed to be sleeping. Maybe she's wishing she joined those interstellar refugees Clover told me about. I know I probably would've gone with them if I'd been around to. But I'm stuck here, so I get to fight with a strange creepy freak staring at me.
Ugh... my stomach's grumbling. They refused to give me bigger portions, and I think it's starting to take its toll on me. To make things worse I've been feeling nauseous for the last few hours. Maybe I'm catching something... well I did spend a few days sitting naked out in sub-zero temperatures, but why would it take so long to feel it?
Ugh... whatever. I'm feeling sick so I'm gonna get going to bed early tonight. I'm glad that more people are showing up every day, so we don't have to work those twenty-hour shifts anymore.
Mandy
April 13th 2013
Ow... ow... man, I screwed up pretty bad today. Me and Clover were assigned to load the weapons in preparation for an upcoming assault against a known Zardexian base... yes, we're finally going on the offensive! But while we were doing that my concentration slipped and I accidentally shot myself in the stomach. It hurts like a bitch... and worst of all, I was bleeding purple Zardexian blood. I am so lucky Clover got me back to the barracks unseen so she could clean me up.
So I'm still safe I guess, and we confirmed that I'm at least a little bit bullet proof. It's weird that it bled though... with the Zardexians we fight bullets tend to do more bouncing off than hurting... but this one actually broke my skin and made me bleed. Maybe I'm more human than I thought? Or maybe there's some other factor I don't know about...
But after we were safe Clover pointed out that my having purple blood again was a bad sign... and thinking about it, she's right. One little prick would expose me as the alien I am now. I need more human blood to be totally safe... but I can't just keep taking it from Clover, that could put her in serious danger too. So what am I supposed to do here?
Alison hasn't talked to me again since that first time a few days ago, but she hasn't been following me around quite as much. Maybe she's finally starting to trust me? That would be one less concern to worry about... but there's still the chance she's planning something behind my back.
Hmmm... I do need blood... perhaps...
GAH! What the Hell am I thinking? Was I really going to suggest to myself that I kill Alison and drink all of her blood? What the Hell is wrong with me? I'm no murderer, I'm not about to kill someone whose only crime is trying to look after the well being of the human race! Even if they do it through many of the same methods the Imperium of Christ implemented...
Geeze, I need some fresh air...
Mandy
April 17th 2013
Uuuugh... I'm getting weaker by the day now. My arms are shaking even as I type out this journal entry. I'm sure everyone's noticed by now... the food they're giving me just isn't cutting it anymore. What the Hell is wrong with me? I'm getting really scared here... what if I have some Zardexian disease that there's no cure for?
Okay, enough Mandy... positive thoughts... ummm...
Oh! Clover and me finally found some alone time yesterday evening. I wasn't sure Clover would go for a second "date", but she surprised me by suggesting that very thing. For someone who was always so boy-crazy, she seemed pretty energetic with me now that she wasn't suffering from severe blood-loss. Even this morning she was in a good mood, jumping up and ready to go. I wonder why her sudden change of heart... I mean she said she kinda loved me back in Dämon-Mörder, but since then she seemed kind of distant. Huh...
Why on Earth am I over thinking the only good thing to happen to me since coming back? Clover's consistently and vehemently fought for me this entire time, I shouldn't try to look for reasons to start distrusting her now.
DAMN I'm hungry! Grrrr... okay, think other thoughts. Think of something else... something else... something else...
Alison talked to me again yesterday too, actually that's why me and Clover found that alone time. She decided to give us both a few extra hours of rest... said something about me looking a little pale. I know I'm looking a little ragged these days (They don't FEED me enough!) but why would she give me time off if she thinks I'm an alien? She's just confusing me... she's been nothing but nice to me so far now that I think about it.
MAN I'm HUUUNGRY! I'm about ready to eat human flesh if it'll fill this gaping hole in my stomach. I feel like one of those zombies from a video game or something. Maybe Clover'll give me some of her food tomorrow.
Braaaiiiins...
Mandy
April 22nd 2013
Oh man, so much happened in the last few days. I have no idea where to begin. Hmm... I guess I should go in order.
Sam's unit (in which me and Clover are officers) was ordered to go with General Reynolds and the Siren to Switzerland to attack a Zardexian convoy that was apparently on their way to attack Moscow. We landed a little after daybreak, when the sun was just coming up. The Zardexian ships were just sitting on the ground... we should've known something was up. It was the first time we've ever seen them sitting idle like that.
The little death-balls ambushed us! Most of us didn't even have time to put on our Sensible Soundproof Earplugs. They just came at us from the sides, and the ships lifted off from the ground to attack from the front. I didn't hear anything, but General Reynolds must have activated the Ear Bleeder, because half of the troop (those who didn't get their Earplugs on in time) doubled over screaming.
Including Clover and Sam.
I rushed to put their Earplugs on, but I forgot to get mine on too. I saved them from going deaf (or worse), but I couldn't really go around putting EVERYONE'S plugs on. The ships were taken down by the Ear Bleeder, but the Zardexians kept coming from all sides. The Siren was swarmed, and all around me people were slaughtered left and right.
But General Reynolds... the crazy bitch... had a plan. The Siren was electrified, and nothing could touch it without being fried. That... damned thing started rampaging across the battlefield, blasting and stepping on anything that moved. Worse still, she still had the Ear Bleeder on, or so I guess from watching most soldiers still clutching at their ears.
I ran for the Leviathan to try to tell General Reynolds to shut the damn thing down, but a Zardexian got between me and it. I tried to get away, but it grabbed me around the waist and lifted me off the ground. I thought it would eat me... but it stopped. I'm still not sure if I was hallucinating... if maybe the stress got to me, but I swear I heard it talk. One word...
"Zeninia."
Of course the General HAD to blow it up right then. I wonder what that word means... is it a Zardexian greeting? A swear word? What? Or maybe a name... my name, perhaps?
Nah, it doesn't seem right. I'm Mandy. That's that.
After that I made my way back to Sam and Clover and dragged them away from the field of fire, since they were still stunned from the blast of the Ear Bleeder. All I could do was drag them into a small ditch I found while the Siren tangled with the Zardexians. I don't know why the General brought us along... the Siren alone is all she needs. Does she enjoy the feeling of power from watching the rest of us die?
Finally the fighting stopped, and I pulled Clover and Sam out of the ditch. It smelled horrible... the bodies that lay all around me were unbearable. Human and alien alike... barely anyone had survived the onslaught of the Siren. Though those that did were all human... and dazed.
I don't know if anyone noticed that I never had my Earplugs on... but nobody's said anything so far. Alison though has been giving me a wide berth, and more strange looks. Clover and Sam recovered a few days later from the effects of the Ear Bleeder, and by now can both hear perfectly well again.
I really don't think I should write this... but I found a way to solve one of my problems. There were a lot of bodies lying around the field, and... well... bodies have blood. I volunteered for the battlefield cleanup crew after it was over... and managed to sneak some blood away from the area. It should be enough to keep my blood red and human for a few days at least. If Clover asks how I did it... I'll say it's a Zardexian trick.
That doesn't do much for my growling stomach though. It seems like it'll never stop. I don't even know what I'm hungry for. Clover gave me some of her food before we left on that assault mission, and it didn't help in the slightest.
Oh well... almost losing Clover during that battle makes feeling a bit hungry look like a stupid complaint. I guess it's a lesson to be more thankful for what I've got than angry about what I don't have.
Mandy
April 27th 2013
Hehehehehehehehehe... it's not really that funny, but I can't stop laughing. After all that fighting we've been doing. All those victories we've racked up over the last few weeks. All that worrying I did over Clover's well-being, and that damn Alison woman figuring out I'm an alien... none of it fucking mattered. We're all going to be flattened soon anyway, the Siren won't be able to help us any longer after this.
Hmm... I wonder if me and Clover could disappear somewhere. There are still pockets of civilians in some cities around the world, though most of them are crazier than our esteemed General. Nah, Clover wouldn't agree to that. Besides, I wouldn't feel right. I guess I get to just sit here with everyone else waiting to "fight", but really just waiting to die at this point.
Damn, I can see the shadow now outside my window. It's moving across the entire city, it doesn't seem like there's any light left out there. I should go find Clover now, the least I want to do is die with her...
The main fleet of the Zardexian armada has finally arrived... so I guess this is my last journal entry. Goodbye cruel world for the second time. I wish I could say it was fun... but the truth is, I fucking hate this place anyway.
Amanda Victoria Delaroyale