Seeing Spots: An ill feeling you say? Well, with me, you may never know what will happen next. Hope you like this chapter! I tried to get it up here sooner, but was having some difficulties.
Zammy: I thought I lost ya there! Glad to see you are still with me!
Naomie: giggles I think you have reviewed every chapter with 'I don't like romance' but I think you will be surprised with what happens. Bear with me. :D Snow soon? Where do you live? I'm still stuck in 'muggy/humid/cold at nites' southern US. I think nature is trying desperately to keep a hold on to summer, but its been autumn here for about a month. Just cant seem to get a regular weather pattern anymore. Oh well... enjoy this chappie!
"Just Me :o)"... I hope you had a safe trip to Finland! I miss seeing your posts! Hope all is well.
AN: All these hits and so few leave their thoughts? Tisk Tisk Hope all my readers enjoy the upcoming chapters, because a lot of things will be happening really fast as we near the end of this tale.
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Chapter Twenty-Three: Playing With Fire
As the door closed behind him, Haldir was confronted with a mixture of faces and emotions. Orophin and Rúmil looked cheeky, Aravitan and Láiraen looked worried, Wethíar was in pain, and Eremae was staring at him with a mixture of fear and anxiety.
It was then that Haldir noticed that everyone was wearing their Elven clothes; the pile of human attire lay abandoned in a corner. The majority of the blood had been washed, the rips sewn as best as possible, and Haldir noted, Aravitan and Wethíar wore long, billowing sleeved shirts, light blue and laced in the front.
"Where did you get those?" he asked.
Wethíar held onto his aching ribs and picked at his shirt, "The servant girl gave them to us. Ours were too torn and bloody to be repaired."
Haldir nodded, remembering the cutting they had to do to get to the injuries the others sustained.
Múrendil, who had remained in the shadowed corner, walked out and addressed Haldir, "Lómetar awoke while you were gone. We believe it is time to start for home."
Haldir looked affronted at Múrendil. Never had the elf conducted himself in such a manner, yet here he was, using a stern tone and speaking as if he was giving orders and Haldir was the subordinate that was to obey.
Haldir took a deep breath, placing his hands on his hips and glaring at Múrendil, "I feel that we can stay longer. We are safe in these walls and our kin need to heal without any danger of attack from orcs or wargs or goblins."
Múrendil didn't back down. His eyes seemed to become cold and frosted, "There is a great evil at work here. Our kin cannot heal with such things surrounding them. The sooner we leave, the sooner we will be back home and be safe in our own home."
Haldir felt like striking Múrendil, but restrained, taking several deep breaths to calm himself. Rúmil used the lull in conversation to stand in front of his older brother and give him a strange look."You spoke earlier of leaving, and now you wish to remain?" Rúmil asked with his eyes narrowed. "Do you not feel the same danger that touches our minds?"
Haldir scoffed, "I have spoken with Amarah and I do not believe she, or her people, will attack us. They do not hold us at fault for Calorad's death."
"Haldir, something is wrong with you," Rúmil frowned, looking into his brother's stormy eyes.
"Nothing is wrong with me!" Haldir snapped, trying to pull away from Rúmil and avoid his intense staring.
Rúmil wasn't deterred. He grabbed Haldir's arm and pulled him closer, peering into his eyes, "There is a difference about you, I can sense it."
"There is nothing wrong!" Haldir yelled, trying to pull his arm free of Rúmil's grip.
Orophin came to his brothers' side immediately, his brow drawn as he surveyed Haldir. "Rúmil is right, there is something wrong with you, Haldir. Something has unsettled you."
Haldir stopped trying to escape Rúmil's grip and glared at the two of them with defiance, "The two of you are imagining things. I am only irritated at my brothers, who like to cause me such headache."
Rúmil and Orophin flinched; Rúmil released his hold on his brother and the two of them glared at the fuming face of their commander. Silence hovered in the room. Not even breath could be detected.
Haldir looked between his two brothers, then to the others that were in the room, his gaze finally falling on Lómetar, "Is Lómetar healed enough to travel?"
Orophin slowly nodded his head, "He is recovering, though not as well as I would like. I have very little of the medicine left. We need to return to Lothlorien where he can be tended by a real healer."
"Then in the morrow, you will prepare yourselves for travel," Haldir said curtly.
Rúmil gave Haldir a very scrutinized glare and said, "You are going to remain here? You are not coming with us?"
"No," Haldir said. "I believe the six of you can guard Lómetar sufficiently, that is, if you are capable of doing such a task. There are a few things I would like to explore here. When I am able, I will follow behind you."
"How long?" Orophin asked, eyes narrowed and dangerous as he surveyed his oldest sibling with mistrust.
Haldir gave Orophin an agitated glare and snapped, "As long as I deem necessary. I do not need your permission, nor your approval."
Rúmil frowned, casting his eyes down. His mind warred with his senses, something that usually did not occur. He and Orophin liked to tease Haldir about his female companions, but in honesty, he doubted Haldir's interest in the human female. Thinking about her near his brother was enough to send his anger pitching, boiling his blood with rage. A strange sensation tickled his subconscious. The others voiced their feelings of evil, and it bothered him more when Haldir seemed to have not noticed it.
"Haldir, I do not like this," he finally said with an even tone, his eyes rising to stare into familiar blues. "Amarah may have appealed to you, but there is evil here. I do not understand why you do not feel it as we do."
Haldir waved his hand dismissively, "I can feel confusion and pain, but I have not felt any evil."
Rúmil wouldn't be deterred, "Haldir, I am telling you, she is dangerous. You should return home with us."
"Dangerous?" Haldir snorted. "Is that the best idea you could come up with? I have heard far better tales than this, dear Brother. You are losing your touch."
Rúmil took a commanding step towards Haldir, positioning himself a mere inches from his brother's face, "You know as I do that I am making no jest. This is a true warning and I am telling you to your face. She is leading you down a dangerous path. Pay heed to my words and listen to reason."
Haldir felt his tolerance dissolve as he forcibly pushed Rúmil from him, his voice edgy and rough, "I do not need your nonsense!"
Rúmil pressed his advantage, centering himself to make it difficult for Haldir to move him, "The only nonsense here is in your mind! What is wrong with you, Haldir? This is not you!"
"Not me?" Haldir growled. "What is not me? Listening to my brothers speak of love and attention, with constant jeers and words, each one cutting deeper into my soul to where I feel that I shall never mend and shall surely endure my long life without ever being healed? Am I to spend the rest of the Age alone with my pain?"
"We did not know that our words caused such strife in you," Orophin whispered. His heart wrenched in his chest, thinking of all the centuries he and Rúmil had taunted their older brother, always finding faults and problems with the she-elves that he occasionally courted. He had thought all their heckling was annoying to Haldir, he had never considered how damaging the words were- how deep they cut and how they had wounded his oldest brother.
Rúmil's eyes were mirrored with tears, shining brightly and threatening to spill down his cheeks, "We are sorry, Haldir. We did not know how our words affected you. Had we known, we would have ceased our foolishness."
Haldir seemed to lose some of his temper and turned away, ashamed of himself for admitting such words hurt him, not only to his brothers, but to the other elves that were in the room. With a deep breath he sighed, "I need to be alone."
Haldir crossed the room and opened the door, but a hand covered his and prevented him from leaving. Haldir's eyes met those of Orophin's, who wasn't ashamed to allow his tears to flow.
"Please Haldir, we did not wish to cause you such heartache. Can you forgive us?"
Haldir felt a lump in his throat and hesitated. All the centuries built up inside of him, churning like a poison, weakening him and dissolving all his hopes of finding a life-mate and having true happiness. He lowered his eyes, not wanting Orophin to see how much torment he felt and said slowly, "Please, Orophin. I need some time."
Orophin nodded once, his throat dry and unable to speak. Rúmil came to his side and placed his hand on Haldir's back, gaining the eldest's attention.
"Haldir, though our words have caused you pain, please do not brush aside our warnings. There is evil here and I still fear for you. I do not want to lose you."
Haldir gave Rúmil a half glance, then opened the door and disappeared behind it. The two brothers exchanged worried looks, their past actions making them sick to their stomachs. Had they known the consequences, they would have deterred from such antics, but now their older brother was in pain, and they were the cause.
Orophin wrapped his arms around his youngest sibling and pulled him into a tight hug. Rúmil choked out a gasp and returned the gesture. Both brothers tried to find inner peace, though disgusted with themselves and feeling terrible heartache over the suffering they had inflicted on their older brother.
Haldir walked the halls in a daze, his feet leading him to destinations unknown. His mind raged with what had just transpired, part of him feeling guilty for causing his brothers any grief, though he felt it terribly within his own heart. A small voice in the back of his mind chided him, reminding him that they were only jesting, and that all was said in pure innocence, no malice had been intended. Another part of him felt relieved to have the burden off his conscious, lifting free from its tomb in his soul and finding release.
Haldir stopped his brisk walk and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths. 'What am I doing?' he wondered. 'What is wrong with me? I do not act like this!'
Haldir felt a presence nearby and opened his eyes and searched up and down the corridor. Seeing no one around, he frowned and pushed off from the wall, and collided with a small figure.
Haldir gasped and looked down, seeing the mute child from before staring up at him with wide eyes.
"Hello, young one. I am sorry I overlooked you," Haldir said gently, kneeling to eye level with the child.
She blushed and looked to the ground, shuffling her feet.
Haldir remembered her quiet nature and tried to remember her name. After a minute of thought, he spoke, "Avayae? Is that your name?"
Viridian eyes rose to meet ice blue, beaming with happiness. She shook her head and smiled. When Haldir saw her face more fully, he felt a wave of anger erupt through him. His teeth clenched together as he took in the girl's bruised face and marred lip that showed were it was recently split and was healing over.
"Tell me little one, who did this to you?" Haldir asked.
Avayae lowered her eyes. When she did not answer, Haldir cupped her face in his hand and tipped her face to meet his.
"You can tell me. Who hurt you?"
Avayae shook her head, her eyes wide in fear. She stepped back and held out her hand. When Haldir took it, she took a deep breath and started to lead him down the hall, her face set, her eyes staring ahead.
Haldir allowed the child to steer him, watching her from the corner of his eye. There was something amiss here, and he planned to find out what. If someone were abusing the poor girl, he would see to it that her honor would be protected. His mind began formulating plans of revenge and retribution. He was brought out of his plans for vengence plotting by Amarah's voice.
"Thank you, Avayae," Amarah said with a smile of gratitude.
Avayae nodded once, gave Haldir a quick glance, then exited the room.
"Haldir, please sit," Amarah said, gesturing to a chair that was at a large, engraved table laden with food. "I hope you do not mind my sending Avayae to get you, but as you can see, I had preparations to make."
Haldir noted the elegant gown that Amarah wore, long flowing silver, beaded with pearls and low cut in the bosom. Her arms were bare, the dress held upon her body with only a thin strand of pearls that arched around her lovely neck and attacked itself to the back of the gown, which, when she turned, dipped low on her person.
"You look beautiful, Amarah," Haldir said, eyeing the gown, and enchanted by the lady.
Amarah smiled and motioned to the seat next to hers, "Come, sit."
Haldir obliged, his eyes lingering on the flawless skin that was exposed and the grace that Amarah carried herself. She had an almost elven quality about her- beauty, grace, posture, and presense. She exuded an aura of power and wit, intelligence and femininity. Haldir found himself quite entranced by her.
"How do your kin fare?" Amarah asked, pouring wine from a crystal decanter.
Haldir thought it odd that she did the serving and not have her staff to cater to their needs. He thought the idea of her serving was a more intimate nature, and liked the idea that they were to have some privacy.
"Lómetar has woken a few times, though does not heal as quickly as he should. Orophin believes that he should travel home. They are to leave in the morrow."
Amarah's hand slipped, spilling a bit of wine on the embroidered tablecloth, "And you are to go with them?"
Haldir blushed a light pink, "I will remain here for a time, if you do not mind."
Amarah smiled and handed Haldir his goblet, making sure to stroke his hand with her fingertips as she smiled slyly, "I would be most honored for your company. For how long are you going to stay?"
"Perhaps a week, if that," Haldir said before sipping his wine. It tingled on his lips and he licked them, feeling the sensation spread over his face.
"Only a week?" Amarah's voice held a tone of disappointment. "I had hoped you would stay a while longer."
"My duties can not be ignored for long," Haldir said, watching as Amarah placed cured meats and vegetables on his plate, then attended her own. Her etiquette and posture were flawless.
"Will you return soon?" Amarah asked before taking a delicate bite of food.
"I do not know. I must speak to my lady. I have responsibilities I must see to," Haldir answered, finding his mind blank, save for the occasional mental picture of intimate nature that flashed.
"Such dedication," Amarah smiled and picked up a berry. "Do you allow the lady to control you always, or are you allowed some free time?" Amarah swirled her tongue over the berry, then raked her teeth across it, giving Haldir an innocent look.
Haldir wasn't lost on the berry's progression. His mind flashed more vividly and he shook his head in an attempt to clear it, "I serve the Lady of Light. I have for millennia, and I shall do so until she sails to the West."
Amarah darted her tongue over her lips, pretending to lick the tartness from the berry from them, then picked up another, giving it the same treatment, "Following her so diligently and allowing her to command your every move...Sounds to me as if you are a slave, not a warrior."
Haldir bristled. He straightened his shoulders and gave Amarah a very stern look, the one always used when confronting stubborn brothers, "My Lady and Lord are under my protection. They have entrusted me with the protection of their realm and of the people. That is not a duty given lightly and is to be respected. They are the sovereigns of my land and I will do whatever they ask of me. That is my oath and my duty."
Amarah's expression faltered, but she recovered in an instant, "I did not mean it that way, Haldir. Please, do not take offence. You are a great warrior and they are wise to choose you as their defender and as their ambassador to other lands."
Haldir nodded, accepting the apology and grabbed a goblet of water. His lips still tingled with the wine, and fearing it overpowering to his Elven senses, he opted for something that was not foreign to his senses.
Amarah waited until a couple minutes passed, then asked, "It must get lonely, defending their lands all the time. Are you allowed any respite?"
"I am the commander of the Galadhrim. I choose who has watch and for how long," Haldir answered, noticing the sensations coming back to his mouth.
"So you may choose how long you may stay here?" Amarah pressed, brushing against Haldir's hand when she reached for her spoon.
"I may consider the time, but it is not up to me to make that definite. If my lady so wishes, then I shall remain or return."
Amarah made a noise somewhere between a snort and a sigh. She took several bites, allowing the silence to blanket them and ease some possible tension.
Noting her quiet continence, Haldir remembered Avayae and her bruises, "Amarah, what happened to Avayae? She had bruises on her face and her lip was healing from a cut."
Amarah seemed to think on it, her brow furrowed. After she swallowed a mouthful she answered, "I do not know what happened to her. She refuses to speak, so no one knows how she gets injuries."
"She gets them often?" Haldir asked, his interest now piqued.
"Often enough. It is just childhood accidents, I am sure of it. I had plenty of them when I was her age," Amarah said, returning to her food.
"The bruise on the side of her face looked like it was caused by a hand," Haldir injected. He doubted if Amarah even noticed the child was hurt or sporting any kind of injuries.
"Perhaps she got in the way of one of the guards and he taught her her place?" Amarah asked, though her voice held the air of someone who could have cared less.
"Taught her her place?" Haldir repeated incredulously.
"She likes to get under foot. She has caused several accidents in the kitchen and during guard practice," Amarah said with a tightened jaw. "She has almost gotten herself and others killed."
Haldir couldn't believe what he was hearing but kept his face impassive. He nodded in understanding, hiding the fact that inside, he was seething.
"Enough of such talk," Amarah said with a tone of impatience. "I did not ask you to dine with me so we may discuss the servants."
Haldir plastered a smile across his face and gave Amarah his most charming look, "What would you like to talk about?"
"You," Amarah answered, placing her hand over Haldir's on the table. "Where have you traveled to and whom have you met? What exotic things have you seen beyond these lands?"
Haldir gave a genuine chuckle and started his tale, recollecting some of his adventures, noting with a hint of sadness that his brothers had experienced the same things. His mind kept the images of his brothers in the background, giving Haldir a constant reminder that, though he was a leader and always on adventures, he was never alone. His brothers, no matter the orders, were his constant shadow and companions, refusing to leave his side and willing to take injuries upon themselves if it meant his own safety.
Amarah laughed all evening, enjoying the tales of trouble making and competitive nature the elven brothers had and made remarks how the twins were the exact same way. The conversation stayed away from Calorad, but as the evening wore on and lanterns were lit, Amarah allowed the wine to settle into her system. Her posture relaxed and her lips loosened with the heavy wine.
"Calorad pulled the exact same trick on me years ago!" Amarah said through laughter that died on her lips. Her mood changed into a somber expression, her eyes clouding in grief.
Haldir felt the weight of the youth's death renewed upon his mind. Keeping his voice low, he said, "I am sorry, Amarah. I did not wish to bring up painful memories."
"The memories are not painful," Amarah smiled. "They were wonderful and I would not trade a single one in for anything upon the earth. I am just missing my best friend."
"I am sorry," Haldir repeated, putting a reassuring arm around Amarah's shoulders.
Amarah leaned into the elf's strong embrace and nuzzled her face against his neck, breathing in his scent. Her fingers went for his hair, stroking the silken strands and finding a pointed ear. Her fingertip traced the point, to which Haldir nearly jumped out of his heated skin.
"Amarah..." Haldir started and was silenced by her lips pressing against his.
Amarah rose in her chair, twisting her body to press insistently against Haldir. Her hand rested on his chest, feeling his heart thrumming a wild rhythm against her palm. Haldir's arms snaked around Amarah's waist, crushing her against him.
Haldir's mind burned, questioning his moves and trying to sort out all the emotions that were clashing violently within him. A sudden spark of brilliant light flashed behind Haldir's eyes, sending him in a blind panic, and stealing his breath.
He withdrew from Amarah, panting and blinking to regain full vision. A thick fog clouded behind his eyes, making the world seem fuzzy and distant. Haldir's hands cradled Amarah's face, holding her close to him as he tried to clear his vision. When Amarah's face came into focus, his thumbs traced over her lips, which were slightly parted. She smiled at him, her eyes half lidded and caressed the side of his face.
Amarah tilted her head, inviting another kiss, but Haldir withdrew a bit further and mumbled, "I must get back. I need to help the others prepare to leave in the morning."
Amarah pouted and pulled Haldir closer and captured his lips again. Between kisses she purred, "I am sure they can function without you for a time."
Haldir allowed the kiss to last a minute longer, then pulled away again, holding Amarah's roaming hands in his own and smiling at her, "There is much to do before they leave. I will see you in the morrow."
With a light, promising kiss, Haldir stood, bowed, and took his leave. Amarah sighed, her lips red and swollen from the intense kisses. She watched the elf depart, feeling like she was floating on air, her entire body kindling with desire.
When he was out of Amarah's sight, Haldir quickened his pace and ran back to the rooms he shared with the others. He hoped that Orophin and Rúmil were still awake. There was much weighing on his heart, and something strange plaguing his thoughts.