Disclaimer: I do not own or write for RFR nor did I write the Paper Moon song "your thesaurus won't help you now".
I can't believe no one believes me. It really is a Trily! Would I lie to you? Don't answer that. J/K, lol.
Yes Tina I know my chapters are short. You know that I only have a 3 second attention spa- Oooh cool a pop-up ad. What was I saying?
Yay Thea! Two squiggly things! Lol!
Oh my god Allie! Not a really bad punishment! NOOOOO! But thanks, you totally described what the mood of this story is, bittersweet. I've been looking for a word to describe it.
Ava- Yeah the song that was italicized was by Paper Moon. That reminds me to explain something to everyone.
The title of the story is the name of the CD by Paper Moon and the title of each chapter is the title of one of their songs. The songs that are italicized in each chapter are also theirs, I thought it would be cool to put them in there since they all fit my chapters so well. So the title of this story really has nothing to do with the story but more as a link. Also I suggest you go to www.papermoon.ca and listen to the songs for each chapter, I think it makes the mood of the story stronger. And also because the songs rock. Lol!
Ok so on with the story!
Chapter three: Your thesaurus won't help you now
Dear Lily,
I'm not sure why I'm writing this to you but I know why I'm not. The reason for this letter isn't for you to change your mind, I just need to let you know how I feel. Or felt. I haven't figured that out yet. I won't use any hockey references this time, I'm just gonna get to the point. I love you. Or maybe loved, I haven't figured that out either. But I get it, I finally get it. You don't love me. He won, he won you, he won everything. Yeah, he defiantly won. I can't write down what else I need to say, hell I probably can't even say it, I guess you'll just have to use your imagination. So that's it I guess. Right. Yeah, so that's it. Goodbye. That sounds so weird and...wrong but I guess that's the right word. So goodbye.
Ray
P.S. No mustard stains this time.
He set the pen down and read the letter, he shook his head "This is pathetic" he mumbled. He began to move his hand to crumple the paper but he stopped. He didn't know why, since that letter obviously ended up in the trash but he didn't crumple it. He set it back down and pushed out his old chair, getting up then beginning to walk out. He stopped at the door and looked around the underground for a minute, his eyes landing on a picture of the four of them. Lily was smiling so widely with her arms around Ray and Robbie, Travis was standing off to the side doing his James Deans "impression". Ray snorted and rolled his eyes, Travis was never good at impressions. He turned around and walked out the door, the words of one of Lily's favorite songs going through his head.
This is easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I struggle over every word, but I think it's safe to say
that I owe this much to you.
I've gotten more than I deserve.
I close my eyes and in my head I see you walk away.
Panic washes over me.
I know it could be different if I found something to say,
but how can I possibly wrestle phrases from a frozen mind,
extract the necessary lines to ensure continuance
of what I've taken for granted all this time?
I'm usually more articulate.
Why do words fail me now?
Just when I need them the most, words fail me.
For the last few years, I've placed my fate in the
hands of anyone who cared, never thinking that my
expectations were unfair.
Now the ultimatum has been given and I find
myself so unprepared to spill emotions that have remained undeclared.