HEY! Sorry this took so long everyone, but I have finals you know!
Funny, how the moment that Serena stepped onto the roof, warm air engulfed her. It was from the fumes of the heater venting out into the cloudy night sky. Snow was falling, surrounded her, and pilling up on the roof.
Serena walked on, past the warmth of the heater and into the cold furious winter winds. They swept over her so quickly, she whimpered. She considered running back into the building, but something wouldn't let her. It fact, that something was drawing her to move forward. So with a deep breath, Serena took many more steps, until the toes of her shoes pressed roughly into the rail of the roof. Her red frost-bitten fingers gripped the edge tightly as she bent over to see.
She couldn't remember what she had seen last night when she had looked over Darien's balcony rail, and she was glad for that. From where she stood, large trunks and cars were no bigger than a dot. Serena gulped nervously, but that feeling drew her in. She bent over, staring down on the city as snow bit her skin. The cold purpled her lips and made her eyes fill with tears. She was bending over; so far she would slip at any given moment.
"Invigorating" Serena managed to murmur, though her teeth were tightly clamped together. Did she want to fall? A vision began to play in her mind. It wasn't that she felt she wanted to, but she felt she had to. She had to so she could rid herself of all this torment. Who cared about exams, or cleaning the house or saving the world? She didn't. Why should she? She obviously wasn't responsible enough for those kinds of things if she couldn't even manage to keep her legs together.
Something in the back of her mind made Serena want to smack herself for those thoughts. After a moment though, she wasn't sure why. A little tingle in her heart said she didn't deserve forgiveness because there was nothing to forgive. Where her heart conjured that up, she wasn't certain.
A thousand years, a thousand more
A thousand times a million doors to eternity
I may have lived a thousand lives, a thousand times
An endless turning stairway climbs
Darien couldn't believe how many stairs it took to get to the roof!
"They need an elevator." He spat. The words made him laugh at himself. He was suppose to be the all-mighty, all-perfect, all-IN SHAPE, Tuxedo Kamen. That obviously was an overstatement.
As he approached the last step, he smiled to himself triumphantly. His momentary accomplishment was actually quite pleasing. He stepped out onto the cement, the heater's smoke and warmth enveloping him. It was almost suffocating. He quickly pushed past, but doing so, he didn't prepare himself for the snow and ice on the ground. He almost slipped as his foot touched the ground, and he reached out, fingers digging into the air until he finally regained balance. He sighed in relief, eyes still wide as he eased out of the strange pose he'd managed to position himself in.
"That was close." He said to himself with a sigh of relief. He gained his footing once more, and his eyes began to scan the roof, until they laid eyes on a familiar blonde beauty. "Serena?" Darien whispered softly. How he loved the taste of her name on his lips-but that wasn't what was important at the moment.
Darien cautiously stepped forward, careful to be quiet as to not startle her, that was until she began to put her body weight on the rail and began to tip over,
"Serena!" he called out, his earlier thoughts and emotions now out-weighed by the urgency. The blonde snapped to attention, sliding a bit, but holding firmly to the rail as he approached her. She looked at him, eyes wide with astonishment. "You're going to fall if you do that." He said, arms reaching out to take her hands, but they wouldn't budge. He bent his legs a bit to lower to her level as he wrapped an arm around her back and grasped her shoulder.
"Let go of me." Serena snapped softly. What did he think he was doing? For some reason, Darien had the idea in his head that maybe if she just felt the warmth of his body, she'd let go of the rail. Silly idea it was, she was much too determined.
"Serena," he repeated, much softer, "You crazy girl, you're going to drive me to my death, I swear to it," He said with a soft laugh. Serena didn't smile; she didn't even look at him. She kept her eyes on the rail, staring at her own hands,
"Let go of me." She repeated again. When he didn't, she grew angry, "I said to let go! Are you deaf!" she screamed as loud as she could through her soar throat. If her thoughts didn't kill her, the cold at this altitude would.
Serena reached out, the back of her hand striking his cheek. Darien instinctively stepped back, but slipped as he did, falling flat on his bum. Serena stared at him for a moment, still gripping the rail for dear life. If she didn't do this now, he would stop her. Serena looped a leg over the rail, not taking care to the slight soreness she still felt. She gripped the rail once she got both legs over, taking once last glance at Darien, who was sprawled out on the ice, rubbing his bottom and trying to stand. Quite a sight, but Serena didn't have time to enjoy it.
She tried to turn, but it would take too much effort. Besides, if she looked down now, she might get cold feet – no pun intended.
To a tower of souls
If it takes another thousand years, a thousand wars,
The towers rise to numberless floors in space
I could shed another million tears, a million breaths,
A million names but only one truth to face
She bit down on her tongue, and closed her eyes. Oh how she wanted this. Something then struck her. She'd get to see her mother. 'Mom!' Her mind screamed, and she let go, letting her feet slid, her cold hands practically ripping off the metal pole.
Air rushed up to meet her, through her shoes and clothes, over her face and to her sore finger tips, which were suddenly gripped so hard the friction caused her to yelp. She looked up just as Darien's other hand reached down to grip her wrist and he pulled her into a better hold. She stared at him. How had he gotten up so quickly? Or more importantly, why was he bothering?
Darien grit his teeth together, pulling her up with both arms, then reaching out to grip higher up her arm.
"Serena, help me out." He said, "Give me you're other hand." She didn't, she didn't even move. Air and blood were rushing through her head so fast, her vision became blurry. Just the air up here made her distraught. "Damn it Serena!" Darien yelled, glaring down at her, "Listen, to me, I can't do this forever! Please, your hand!" 'Why?' Her mind screamed. She didn't want to. Why would she? What for? The one person she still held dear to her heart was waiting for her on the other side.
'And what about the Senshi?' Serena wondered how that had come to her mind. What about them? They'd miss her; they were her best friends after all. And Molly and Melvin, she couldn't forget them. Andrew would always be there, he would over look the rumors; he had such a good heart. Even despite her father's disposition, how could she leave Sammy behind?
A good argument, Serena suddenly realized. She could have sworn that those words seemed like something her mother would say whenever Serena needed soothing after a hard day; listing off the good.
"Please Serena!" Serena blinked, allowing her eyes to focus. Darien still held firmly on her arm, though his grip would slip at any given time. That wasn't what Serena noticed though. He was crying. Tears, sparkling in the snow slid down his cheeks. Serena inhaled sharply, then reached out, her other hand grasping his wrist. Darien's eyes widened for a moment, before he began to pull her up. She grabbed onto his shirt, practically clawing her way to balance herself. Darien pulled her over the rail was her grip was secure around his shoulders. He had her safe in his arms, and without another thought, he headed straight for the stairs, not wanting to be put in that predicament again.
He slammed the roof door behind him, and sighed, leaning against it, his breathing heavy. Serena bit down on her lip as she lay in Darien's arms, though still cold. She couldn't do it; she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was so pathetic.
"Can you put me down now?" Serena asked. Darien paused for a moment, and then nodded, setting her down. She immediately began to head down the stairs. Darien frowned at this, very alert.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, reaching out to snatch her wrist. Serena was surprised at how firm he was, "It's to cold out, and I defiantly don't trust you to take care of yourself." He said, and began to lead her down the stairs. Serena had taken much offense though,
"I can take care of myself just fine!" She exclaimed, matter-of-factly. Darien snorted at this,
"I'll believe that after I get a real good reason for why'd you'd jump off my hotel roof." He said, a sort of irony in his voice. Serena wasn't sure what to say after that, so she allowed him to lead her into his almost-familiar apartment. Her drunkenness distorted her so much last night; it was almost like she was walking into a totally different apartment.
Darien sat her down in front of the living room fire, and left her with a blanket to wrap around herself as he made some coco. They were silent, so silent it made her nervous. She cleared her throat a bit, speaking in a soft voice,
"I like it better this way, without it so loud and full of people." She said as he approached her, handing her the coco, "Your apartment I mean." She finished. He laughed a little, sitting down next to her.
"Tell me about it." He mused quietly. Many moments of an uncomfortable silence passed. Serena staring into the depths of her cup, as if their contents would jump out and smooth out the chucks of tension in the air; but they didn't, and they wouldn't. Darien had glanced at her a couple of times until he finally decided that she wasn't going to start the conversation, so he cleared his throat,
"So what caused the need to jump off my hotel roof?" he asked, a hint of humor in his voice.
"I fell," Serena said in a flat tone, eyes never moving for her cup,
"Bull," Darien spat. Serena gritted her teeth together, standing up and dropping her cup.
"How would you know?" She demanded, "You don't know anything about me or what goes on in my life!" She screamed, forcing back to tears as he stood as well, though the fact that he towered over her didn't intimidate her one bit.
"I would if you'd just tell me!" he said, then his voice softened as he reached down, taking a soft hold of her shoulders, "And nothing could possibly be bad enough to want to do that." He insisted. For a moment, Serena thought about his words, but only for a moment,
"You don't know what you're talking about!" she screamed, her hand reflectively reaching up to strike his face. Darien's hands dropped to his sides. His face was shadowed, for the lights of the fire only played on his chest. This made Serena nervous. "Darien, I didn't…" she trailed, chewing softly on the inside of her mouth, as her eyes darted around until the finally went back on him.
"You know." Darien said, advancing a step forward. The light shown on his face now, revealing his reddened cheek. "I've wanted to do this for a long time." Serena blinked, eyes rising to meet his just as his hand held gently to the back of her neck, thumb soft against her cheek.
"What do you mean?" She asked, stepping back to move away, but he advanced forward even more until his body touched hers,
"This Serena" He said, his dark eyes closing as his lips met with hers. Serena inhaled sharply, but this only made him push further. He held her soft against him, both hands soft on her neck and cheeks. He searched for a response, yet there was none. Serena's hands were pinned between hers and Darien's bodies, and she gripped his shirt nervously. Darien then gave up, she wouldn't respond – she didn't feel the same way he did.
A million roads, a million fears
A million suns, ten million years of uncertainty
I could speak a million lies, a million songs,
A million rights, a million wrongs in this balance of time
He drew back, licking his lips as he savored the taste of her. He was only inches away though, when Serena flung herself back into his arms. This took Darien aback, but he wouldn't deny her.
Scene Cut
Oh how wonderful she tasted. He'd been waiting for this for so long.
But if there was a single truth, a single light
A single thought, a singular touch of grace
Then following this single point, this single flame,
The single haunted memory of your face
That was when it struck him. He'd waited for this and now that it was here, it was all happening so fast. Did he really want to do this without her knowing how he really feels?
Darien bolted up, ignoring his growing needs. "We have to stop." He said. Serena stared at him with wide eyes; feeling exposed all of a sudden. Darien's eyes darted around nervously as he searched for anything to ease his arousal. "I'm sorry," he blurted, he pulled on his boxers, and quickly handed Serena her panties.
When she didn't put them on, he spoke, "Put them back on!" he said, though it wasn't rough. Serena, nervous, and hurt, did as told. Darien snatched a loose dress shirt off the table, and returned to sit in front of Serena as he wrapped it around her shoulders to cover her. "Listen to me please." He said, on his knees in front of her as she sat on the sofa. He looked away for a moment, and then took her hands into his. "I'm not Todd Serena." He said. The comment obviously angered her, but he quickly pressed on, "I don't want to ask something like that of you. Just because you've done it already doesn't mean that's it's not special." He said. How else could he say this? It was a tender subject.
He drew back slightly, and her hands fell to her sides as she cast her stare to the floor.
"You think I was just doing this to have sex don't you?" she said flatly. Darien stared at her curiously,
"What?" he managed. Serena huffed, a small laugh escaping her lips, though she didn't smile.
"You really thought I'd just give myself to you, that I just wanted to jig." She snapped, and before he could respond, she flung herself from the couch, "Well as much as you'd like to believe it I'm not like that!" she screeched, and made a break for the door. Darien's hand caught her wrist though, and held firmly.
Serena's mind was screaming. Darien thought Serena was just giving herself to him because she wanted sex. He had no idea how she felt about him. Of course, she didn't want him to know. Sex was what he wanted, nothing more. After knowing what went on with Todd, Darien must have just figured it was alright to do; because everyone thought she was that kind of girl now. "Let go of me!" she screamed, reaching back in attempt to pry his hand away, but to no avail.
"Stop it Serena!" Darien yelled, and boldly spun her around so she collided roughly against him. Darien let her fall backward onto the couch where he bent over, looming over her eye to eye. "You honestly think I'd ask that of you?" he said. When she didn't answer, he grew even more upset, "Damn it Serena!" he shouted, kicking the ground as he picked up a glass ornament, ready to throw it, but he stopped himself. It would only scare her more, he concluded. He brought his arm down, dropping it onto the carpet floor. "Serena," He said, leaning down again, "Todd didn't love you." He said. Serena's head shot up as she glared at him
"You think I don't know that?" She asked, gripping the overly-large shirt tightly. "You just have to rub it in my face don't you?" She screamed.
"Then why would you have sex with him Serena, did you love him?" Darien knew it was not his place to question such things, but something just hadn't been right. The look in Todd's eyes still haunted him.
"I didn't want to!" Serena snapped, "I told him no!" She paused as a few tears ran down her cheeks, and she struggled to move around him, but he held her firmly,
"You said no?" he repeated, eyes searching her frantically,
"Yes," Serena spit out nonchalantly, still struggling in his grip.
"Serena," Darien said, trying to hold her still, "Serena," he repeated, and she finally looked at him eye to eye. "Did he rape you?" he asked. Serena's eyes twisted with question and shock as she pushed some tears away,
"No!" She yelped, "No" she glanced at the ground, a hand reached up to move his away, but he refused to let go.
"Serena, if you didn't want to and said no," He began, "And he did it anyways, that's rape." He managed. Serena stopped struggling, looking up slowly. They were silent as Serena stared at him blankly. His expression wasn't readable, but he was firm about his words. Serena gulped, and her lip trembled.
"You don't know what you're talking about-" she said shortly, again trying to move, but Darien pinned her roughly against the back of the couch,
"That's what happened wasn't it?" He snapped, "He forced you didn't he?" He inched closer to her, eyes blazing with rage. It scared Serena, "Didn't he!" He demanded again. Serena yelped softly,
"I was scared," she managed, and finally gave up her struggle, falling softly into his arms, "I was so afraid. I didn't know what was going on." She gaped at the ground, trying to find her breath. Darien embraced her, holding her against him.
I still love you
I still want you
A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves
Like galaxies in my head
"I'm so sorry Serena." He said, "I wish I could have-." Serena wasn't crying, which Darien found strange. Such a serious experience, yet this one time, she wasn't crying. Darien held her shoulders softly, lifting her glance up. "Serena?" he whispered. Her face was blank, and she looked up at him, eyes completely empty.
"I just wanted attention." She said her voice chillingly flat, "Todd was so sweet, and everyone was treating me so nice. Like I was special-" She said. Darien sighed heavily, shaking his head as he brushed some loose strands of hair from her face,
"Serena, don't you see though, you are special." he insisted, "What you mean to everyone, and what you mean to me, it's so-"
"Darien," Serena cut him off. She took a deep breath, now on her knees on the floor next to him. She looked up, eyes a little distraught, "Stop being scared, and be true to your heart… many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. You need to tell someone what she means to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. Darien, life is what happens while you are making other plans."
Darien stared at her blankly, unsure if she was finished, but her words reeling through his head.
"I don't understand Serena." He said. Serena shook her head, then smiled, though it had no heart to it,
"My mother asked me to tell you that." She began, "right before she died." Darien's eyes went wide. He had once met Ilene while at the store. It was an embarrassing situation, for he had been discussing Serena with Andrew. Andrew had been curious about an argument they'd had earlier in the day, when Ilene overheard, and questioned if it was her daughter they were most obviously speaking off. She had introduced herself, and Darien let Ilene know his appreciation for her daughter, and let her in on his little game of picking on her.
Ilene had spent awhile chatting with them, and truly insisted Darien and Serena would make a darling couple. Darien, though he had blushed, insisted that they would forever and always be just friends. He has always greeted her many times after that. He loved speaking to her really, if not for the interesting things she always had to say, for the little stands of hope that would light his day when she told him about all the things Serena had said about him. He just loved the idea that Serena talked about him so much; even if it was complaining.
"Died?" he repeated, and she nodded.
"She was hit by a car." Serena said, "And I was there." Serena went on to explain that it would be in the paper any day now. Her emotions poured as she repeated word for word what her mother had said. She also explained why she hadn't kept her promise to tell her father all the things her mom asked her to say. She told him the way her father was behaving, and how hard it was to just sleep at home. She feared for her little brother, which was one of the things that made her reach for Darien's hand after she had jumped.
Serena then went into detail about the previous night. She was graphic, and explained everything in detail, because she didn't want to leave one thing out. She needed it out of her system. When she was finished, she had done her crying, and was simply left with a red nose and sniffles.
I may be numberless, I may be innocent
I may know many things, I may be ignorant
Or I could ride with kings and conquer many lands
Or win this world at cards and let it slip my hands
Darien, by then, led her to the fireplace, surrounding them with pillows and blankets. He held her close to him, and he always comforted her. It felt so good to be treated this way. Serena savored in it, though the fear of loosing it was welling up inside her.
They had grown very quite after her outburst of the past week or so. Darien leaned against the pillows rested on the coffee table, Serena comfortable in his arms. The blanket was warm, and the fire kept them at a comfortable temperature. In Serena's mind, she left as if it was almost wrong to be so content.
The words Serena, or better yet Ilene, had left him to ponder with were still playing in his mind. You need to tell someone what she means to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. They played over and over until Darien couldn't bare it any longer. She was right. He had to do this, and he had to do it now, or else he might never have such a chance again. "Serena." He said, gaining the blonde's attention. She sat up, looking over her shoulder at him. He couldn't help but smile.
"God you're beautiful." He blurted. Serena instantly blushed at his words, but when Darien realized what he'd said, he blushed even more. He gulped, stammering nervously, "I'm sorry, I-" he trailed for a moment, temporarily loosing his voice, "Serena, I have to tell you something." He said. Serena glanced back at the fire, then up at him. Her eyes were wide with wonder and hope. It made him anxious.
I could be cannon food, destroyed a thousand times
Reborn as fortune's child to judge another's crimes
Or wear this pilgrim's cloak, or be a common thief
I've kept this single faith, I have but one belief
'You need to tell someone what she means to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late'. Those words played over and over. He had to do this now. He felt a little sweat as her brow and his eyes darted around. Blood rushed to his head. He would feel the heat on his ears and cheeks. How would he say this? How could he say this? It was three easy words, yet they were strangled in his throat. It was almost like he was going to vomit, but he didn't. Instead, he let the words spill,
"I love you." He blurted. Serena's eyes went even wider-if it were possible. He choked a bit, releasing a breath he hadn't realize he'd been holding. "I love you. I've loved you since the day you hit me in the head with your test paper." He said a hint of laughter in his voice. "I'm not like Todd." He repeated his earlier words, "Because I as much as I want you." He said, glancing down a little as he turned even redder, "Waiting makes it much more worth the while." He said. With that, he shifted, turning to sit across from her in front of the fire place. "And I love you." He said, "I've never felt like this for anyone, and I've never felt anything so strong," he stopped after that, realizing he was sounding like a soap-opera pretty boy.
He looked at the ground, face beat red. "Serena, I'd be honored if you'd let me take you out on a date." He said. He was almost afraid to look in her eyes, the idea of rejection was something he wasn't willing to take right now; but he had to. He looked up at Serena, her already puffy eyes filling with tears once more.
"You're such a loser," she said, leaping up from the floor to lace her arms around his neck in one of her famous hugs. Darien returned her powerful hold, laughing softly,
"Only for you." He said softly.
"What?" Serena asked, pulling away. Darien eyes darted around again. He'd said it once; did he really have to repeat it? Serena smiled widely, "What did you say?" She inquired. Darien ran a hand through his hair, though his other hand was still laced with hers,
"Only for you." He repeated in a slightly mumbled. Serena giggled, taking his other hand as she leaned up, kissing him softly. Darien sighed into her lips as he returned the kiss. Something inside him was lit, and set on fire; this adrenaline and excitement. Darien lifted her up, swinging her around in powerful arms. He held her in the air at the waist, and brought her down slowly for another kiss. One they parted, she murmured softly,
"I love you too." She said. Darien's eyes popped open, and he smiled as he set her down, holding her in a loving embrace.
Just outside, lurking in the shadows of the balcony, and vengeful Zoecite snarled.
"Damn brat." She snapped. "You'll pay." She said, looking out to her monster with a satisfied smile, "You'll die tonight dear princess."
I still love you
I still want you
A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves
Like galaxies in my head
On and on the mysteries unwind themselves
Eternities still unsaid
'Til you love me
Thoughts?