Disclaimer- Nope. I don't own YYH. But I want to. (I don't own any anime. You'll see why I put this down later on) IF YOU HAVEN'T MET THE SNAKE IN FRUITS BASKET YOU WILL NOT GET THE JOKE.
Remember, my character's name's Megumi, and I still have my wolf ears, claws, fangs, and tail. Limey's the embodiment of my real-life friend that actually likes YYH (though I wouldn't consider her a full-fledged fanatic like me just yet)....enjoy the insanity.
Me-(After luring Limey into the fantasy house with some licorice, there's a hallway with a bunch of rooms, each one with a number.) Let's see...(checks list that appears out of nowhere) Ishizuru's room.
L-Wonder what she is?
Me-I actually have no idea. (knocks on door.) Oy! Ishizuru!
Ishizuru- It's not my big dope of a baby bro, Kazuma, is it?
Me-No, it's just Megumi and my crackpot assistant, Limey.
L-Assistant?
Me- Do you honestly think I'm going to let you be anything else?
L-Uh....
Me-Forget it. (Door swings open)
Ishizuru-What d'you want?
Both me and Limey- Whoa...
Me- Nice costume!
(Ishizuru's clad in a real authentic-looking FBI costume, complete with sunglasses, bulletproof vest, and...)
L-Ooh...is that a real pistol? (Grabs the gun from Ishizuru's pocket.)
I-Hey! Careful with that thing!
(Unfortunately, most of the time, stuff told to Limey goes in one ear and out the other. This...was one of those times.)
L-Wonder what'd happen if I did...(points gun at me) this! (Pretends to fire gun and ends up accidentally squeezing the trigger when it's pointing towards the ceiling.)
Voice upstairs-OHMYGODSOMETHING'SBEENSHOTUPMYASS!
L-Oops...eheh...heh...
I-(Sweatdrops)
Me- (Evil death glare to Limey.) I've got a game for you, Limey. It's called, 'Sudden Death'.
L-Oh..uh...n-nice...nice...
Me- (Vein popping)The rules...simple. You either get your fucking ass upstairs and use your newly endowed healing powers or, sudden death.
L- (terrified) I'M GOING UPSTAIRS!!!
I- Hey, nice way of dealing with her...mind if I use it on Kazuma?
Me- Not at all. Just don't actually kill him.
I-Don't worry. I'll go easy. (Limey comes back).
L-Okay, the guy's fine now.
Me- And you did get the bullet out of his ass, right?
L- Uhh...yeah. (Shudders)
Me-Good. Ok...next room...Yusuke? Wow...this should be interesting.
I and L- I'm sure.
Me-Hmm...I can't resist having a little fun...(taking on Genkai's voice) OY! DIMWIT! GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE!
Yusuke-SHUT IT, YOU BITCHY OLD HA-(opens door in the middle of his swearing and sees me. He starts laughing hysterically, and I join in.) You-hu-hu b-ee-yotch! I'm trying to make it sound like he's laughing, OK?
L-Uhh...Yusuke? What the hell are you supposed to be?
Yusuke-Heehee...Hm? Oh, yeah...a 4000-pound gorilla. (I laugh even harder) Keiko's dressing up as a 2000-pound one with me. (Even more laughing.) Whoa..Megumi...it's not that funny.
Me-(still laughing) No..no..it's not that..heheee...just..that....mwehehehe.... Guess who's gonna be on top and who's gonna be on the bottom tonight... (laughs even more)
Yusuke- SHUT IT!
Me- I wonder if Atsuko knows anything about your little make-out sessions with Keiko...
Y- SHADDUP, DAMMIT!
Me- Ohh...I see...it's something more along the lines of...(in an annoying, singsong way) YUSUKE FUCKING KEI-KO! YUSUKE FUCKING KEI-KO! (Limey and Ishizuru sweatdrop.)
Y-GO TO HELL, YOU FUCKING PERVERTED BITCH!
L- All righty, then...with the way Yusuke and Megumi treat each other, they must've been an old married couple in a past life...
I- Then Yusuke must've been a polygamist since he treats Keiko and baby bro like that....
L-That's just plain disturbing, Ishizuru. Gimme the list, Megumi (I'm still laughing, dodging Yusuke's attacks)...Kuwabara's room, eh? This is gonna be good.
Me-Allow me...(Clears throat and mimics Yukina) Kazuumaaa, darling! I just got out of the shower, and I can't find my bathrobe or a towel or anything at all! (The door bursts open. Kuwabara's completely naked.)
Kuwabara- YUKINA, MY LOVE! I'M READY ANYTIME YOU ARE!!
All except for Kuwabara-OH MY GAWD! PUT SOMETHING ON, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Kuwabara- Damn..tricked again. (Kuwabara throws some stuff on).All right, I'm decent now. (the minute we open our eyes, Limey and I collapse on the ground, laughing.)
L-BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh-oh...my gawd....ahhhahhahahahahaha!!!
Me- He's...he's.....bwahahaha....
Both of us-AYAME SOHMA! (Yup. Lo and behold, Kuwabara's got a long, silver wig on and a leopard print coat. He's even gotten gold colored contacts put into his eyes.)
L-Hahaha....wait...let's get Yusuke to hug him and make him transform!
Y-SAY WHAAAT?
Me-No, no, wait! He just needs to hug himself!! (We continue our hysteria as two doors open)
Keiko-What's all that laughing? (She's already dressed in her gorilla suit, except that it's been topped off with a tutu. Limey and I practically die laughing.)
Kurama- There's certainly been a lot of it. (I look at Kurama. He's in a Sherlock Holmes costume yeah...I absolutely ADORE those books.. I look at Limey with this really evil smile. She instantly gets worried.)
L- What the hell are you planning on doing?
Me-(I stagger up and magically produce an almost-empty vodka bottle.) WOOOHOOHOOHOOOO!!!! YEEEAAHH!!!!!!! (Yusuke catches on and starts acting in a similar manner while the other guys stand in bewilderment or laugh their heads off.)
Y- YEEEAHH!!! DRUUUUNK DEMON GIRLLL! DRRUUUUUNK! Imagining Yusuke dancing around in a gorilla costume can't help but make you laugh.
Me- FUCKIN' RIGHT YEAAAHHH!!!!! (I look at Kurama again and start slurring my words.) REDHEAD SHERLOCK HOLMESIES!!! Thought yuuuwaz deaaad!! Ahhh....watdahellzzz!!! (I pounce on him as convincingly as a person pretending to be drunk can.) FUCK ME NOOOOOWW!!! (I'm sitting on Kurama's stomach, while he's on the floor, scared as hell. I grab his necktie, pulling his face up to mine, showing crazed, drunken gaze, and start laughing hysterically.)
Kurama- E-eh...?
Me- Ahahahahaahhaa....my gawd, I've never seen you so scared in your life!! Hohahahahahahaaa!!! (Everyone else starts laughing, too. I roll off of Kurama, laughing as hard as I ever imagined. I punch some hard surface, like people do when they're laughing really, really hard. Unfortunately, I break this surface....which turns out to be another door. I instantly fall and collapse onto...Hiei.)
Hiei- I don't know why I ever put up with you pathetic mortals. (Another door opens..and out comes...)
Botan-What's going on...
All but Botan- OH MY FUCKING GAWD!
Yusuke- MY EYES! THEY'RE BURNING! THEY'RE BURNING!
Kuwabara- EVILLLLLL!!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!
Keiko- Botan! How could you do something like that?
Me-GET SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!
Botan- What? You don't like my stripper costume?
Hiei- Hn.
I'm sorry...I couldn't help but write such a wrong fic after working on my really twisted other fics....HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE!
And don't forget to comment on my wrongness.