Disclaimers: Previously.
Coconut Island, Chapter Four.
One year, four months and five days after the free world learns of the Stargate program, and the scientists still haven't quite cracked the ZPM problem. Not for lack of trying, however.
--
They tell Daniel together.
It's strange and weird and frightening, but they do it, standing almost at attention while he paces their living room. Theirs, because Jack moved in two months ago with the logic that if she was going to be pregnant he was going to spoil her.
Kathy thinks it's cute.
"You're--well, I suppose that's not much of a surprise."
No, it probably isn't. At least, not after the initial surprise of her being alive still. And Jack knowing about it. And Cassie and Teal'c. And Barrett. But she rarely mentions him.
"I need to ask you a favor."
She blinks at him. "What?"
He's nervous, hands fiddling with a pen while he looks away. "It's the Atlantis expedition. We can't get their schematics of a ZPM to work properly."
"And?" She prompts him when he remains silent.
Jack's hand is playing with the back of her hair, and it's vaguely distracting because he keeps brushing his thumb against the skin of her neck. And she really really wants Daniel to get this over and done with so they can do -- other things.
"Dr. McKay said it was a pity you were dead, since you were about the only one he thought could do it. Other than him, of course."
"Of course." The sarcasm is there, but she knows that if McKay figured it out, she might be able to.
"So, I..." Daniel sighs, scrubs a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Sam. I don't want you to think I'm using you. But we could really use your help."
"Huh? Daniel, I'm dead, I can't--"
"Not going back. Just," he pauses then pulls his briefcase up onto the coffee table and pops it open. "I have this disk. If you could just look at it, maybe run some simulations. Maybe you'll see something they've missed."
And she wants to take it, she realizes suddenly. The opportunity to poke at new technology, to run simulations and permutations and hand-code math graphs. "Ok. I can't promise anything."
"It's all right." A slight smile touches his lips, "It's not like before, is it."
She understands suddenly that he misses her. "Would you like to stay for dinner? Jack's cooking chicken and pasta."
The hand on the back of her neck stills.
"God, no. Jack's cooking? Sam, you aren't trying to kill me, are you?"
She smiles. "No, Daniel, I'm not."
A chuckle escapes him, and he stands. "It's a nice offer, but I've got to get back."
"The strain of command," Jack says dryly.
"Yeah."
The three of them stand awkwardly before Sam snorts. "C'mere, you two."
The hug is awkward and weird with all three of them and then it resolves, and she sighs. "I missed this."
Daniel kisses her cheek and steps back. "So did I. E-mail me or something, Sam."
"Willdo."
Jack's arm stays around her waist as Daniel walks out the door. No longer the young archeologist they once knew he is now old and grey, tired with the life he has led. Another sigh escapes her. "We did this to him."
"No." Jack's arm tightens. "He did this to himself. We only added to it, Carter."
They don't say anything else for a while, simply content to stand (and then sit, and then flop) there, basking in each other's presence. Until her stomach gurgles.
"Is that commentary on something, Carter?"
She chuckles and tugs at the hair she's been slowly running her fingers through. "You promised me food."
"You trust my cooking?" He's smirking up at her.
"Yes."
--
One year, four months and six days after the world is declared safe for everyone, and the world powers are still bickering softly amongst themselves.
The Tok'ra are scheduling their first official ambassadorial visit, and they want to visit everyone.
--
"You've missed this." He's leaning against the back of her chair, chin on the top of her head. His voice rumbles down through her.
She considers carefully. "Yes. I... I didn't mean to."
A soft chuckle escapes him. "Sam, I never thought you would be happy without technology to poke at."
"I was. I--I am."
"But you still miss it."
She sighs. "I do now, apparently." She taps a few more keys, bringing up a different schematic. "Aha."
"Aha?"
"I know where they went wrong. And McKay was being deliberately obtuse, the smug bastard."
"Ah."
He is thinking, she decides, and she suddenly isn't sure about what. "Jack?"
"This... Daniel..." He moves away from her, stops speaking and just gestures randomly.
For a moment, she sits there and looks at him, trying to understand what the problem is. "Daniel? What is it?" Neither have ever been very good at being articulate about their feelings, and she knows this about both of them, but his uncertainty scares her. "Jack, just tell me."
"I'm not ready to be a father."
The words blurt out into the air between them, and she blinks, and then just stares at him.
Finally, she finds thought and breath enough to ask, "What?"
"Daniel being here. It makes it all real." He scrubs a hand over his face and sighs, looking agitated and lost and upset. "Last time around--"
"Last time around it wasn't me." Sam informs him firmly, standing and crossing her arms. "And you weren't alone, and you were a damn good father--"
"But--"
"NO." She doesn't stamp her foot, although it's tempting. "Don't be an idiot, Jack. One careless mistake doesn't condemn you for life."
"It should."
She closes her eyes, grabs at the edges of her sanity and reaches out to him. "I need you here, Jack. As the father of my child, as my lover, as the man I love, as--" Her words stop, because she isn't sure what else to say, that will make the haunted and strained look go away. Because she hopes to have the words to heal him, but he might never be healed. And that scares her, because she needs him.
His hand catches hers, and he tugs, pulling her against him and setting his forehead against hers. "Ok." He draws in a shuddering breath, then lets it out. "I think... I think I can handle this."
"And if you can't?"
The grip on her hand tightens almost painfully. "I'll have to."
--
One year, five months and two days after the world is safe from communism, the new zero point modules are put into use in a series of tests which culminates in opening a gate to the Pegasus galaxy for the first time in four years. The ensuing discussion is carried on whilst piles and piles of equipment, munitions, and food are sent through on crawlers and the backs of people being sent to back up those already there.
Of particular note is the repeated insistence that Atlantis remain autonomous and run by Dr. Weir, and not by the military. The SGC is agreeable.
--
Barrett arrives on a Monday. Sam has always hated Mondays, especially the kind that are windy and cold and make her want to stay in bed. But Jack told her to get her pathetic ass down to the shop, because there might be customers. And, anyway, she's the sole bread-winner, here.
"They've figured it out." No preamble, but he's looking worried, shifty.
"What?"
"The press are already on their way, I think I've got -- maybe -- an hour on them. Just enough time to pack and go."
She doesn't want to comprehend what he's saying. "Barrett--"
"Someone hacked my account, Sam. Someone very very good knows that you're alive and living here. They've alerted the press to track you down."
It had to have been someone good. She'd written the security protocols on his computer. "Shit."
"The only good thing is that they don't know you're pregnant."
She can hear his unspoken 'yet'. "And Jack?"
"Him, too."
"Fine." She grabs the phone, dials.
"Hi."
"Jack? I'm feeling extra icky this morning. I'm coming home. Think you can start packing to head to the cabin this weekend?"
"Sam?"
"They've found us." She doesn't bother saying goodbye, simply hangs up. "C'mon."
--
One year, five months, and six days... the news breaks that Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Shanahan has been alive and well, living in a small town in Wyoming with her polygamist husband, retired Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. The SGC could not be reached for comment.
The media frenzy spreads into orgiastic masturbation before it begins to feed on itself as rumors fly, and the two are nowhere to be found.
--
She insists on saying goodbye to Victor and Kathy, and drags Jack with her because they liked him, too.
Victor only raises an eyebrow when she thanks him for everything. "We'll miss you, Sam."
"Thanks." She surprises them by hugging both tightly, and then leaning down to kiss Troy. He makes an icky face and declaims 'girl germs'. "We, uh... There's going to be media."
"Figured." Victor shifts in front of her eyes, suddenly looks less intelligent and more... like an itinerant farm hand. "Well," he said, his accent thick, "they left about three weeks ago. Nice couple. Don't know why theys gone. And, say, you wouldn't happen to know of anyone lookin' fer a place to rent?"
She laughs, Jack simply looks at him, then half-nods.
Kathy smiles, "You two take care." She catches Sam in another hug, then pulls back and blinks, "Just a moment."
While they stand there, waiting, Sam is certain she can feel Barrett's impatience all the way in here. Kathy returns and hands Sam a small green rattle. "Here."
"Uh..." They haven't told anyone, so it's kind of a surprise, and she looks uncertainly at the other woman. Of course, the fact that Sam is beginning to show (more than show. She's starting to wonder if this child is going to be as large as a house) should have clued her in that Kathy would Know.
"Jack's got the same look Victor did when I was carrying Troy. Three parts terror, one part insane fear, and one part smug bastard." And Kathy winks. And the whole looking like a house thing. Right.
"Oh. Thank you."
And they leave, because they have to. As they drive out of town they see news vans arriving, reporters and crew beginning to go from shop to shop and house to house, searching for the suddenly found.
She stops looking once they hit the interstate.
Both she and Jack insist on stopping in Laramie to see Cassie. They're lucky, she's in her room studying when they reach the campus. Without a word, she hugs them both and half-cries when they tell her they don't know when they'll see her next. Barrett simply wants to get them away, to a safe house, or something.
It's not that either believes they're in danger from the media. But they have made their choices and moved on, and they don't need this intrusion. Barrett also thinks there might be a faction that would try to seize the child and experiment on it. After all, it will have naquadah in its veins and Jack O'Neill's genes -- and the Asgard prized them enough to try cloning him.
They talk as they drive, and finally agree to the safe house. As long as it isn't one anyone knows about. Barrett calls them both difficult and stops listening to them while he drives. Sam falls asleep sometime around Billings.
When Jack wakes her, it's completely dark and she's cranky and hungry and her neck has a crick in it.
The second is remedied when Jack hands her a container of slightly cold fries. He looks apologetic when she death-glares at him. They stopped for food and didn't wake her?
He makes it up to her by carefully rubbing the crick from her neck and kissing her. She likes kissing Jack, but it doesn't quite make up for not being fed properly. After all, she's eating for two here, or has he forgotten?
Barrett finally stops and lets someone else drive. Sam lets Jack drive because she's still tired. At some point she knows she will have to wake up to the fact that she doesn't know where they are or where they're going. But for right now, she doesn't care.
--
One year, five months, and two weeks after the world is saved, the news media are still hounding the area around a small town in Wyoming. Even nearby Laramie is getting bombarded once they learn that young Cassandra Fraiser is at school there.
--
"We accept."
She can't believe she's said it until Jack blinks at her. "We do?"
"I mean--"
Daniel sighs, "You guys do understand that you'll never be able to come back?"
Which is a damn ironic thing for him to say, but she doesn't smile. "Yes."
"Sam--"
Her hand touches his shoulder, "I won't go without you, Jack. But I am going."
They're somewhere near Seattle. She got that much out of Barrett before he disappeared three days ago. Daniel arriving on their new doorstep had only interrupted her making dinner. He is tired and drawn and worn down, and she knows that some of it is the never-ending struggle to go on. To be the last of SG-1 involved in the Stargate Program (with Teal'c off helping the rebel jaffa discover how difficult self-government is. Jonas is still with the Kelownans, although he apparently sends home notes and requests for hair gel. And she and Jack are dead, of course).
Jack looks at her and sighs, "If this is what you want."
"But is this what you want?"
He simply looks at her, then glances at Daniel. "They'll never leave us alone, will they."
"Oh, I'm sure, in time," Daniel shoves his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders. He is worn down from constant barrages by press and sycophants alike. "They haven't stopped with me, though."
"You should come with us." Sam lets the words out before thinking them through fully.
Daniel stiffens and drops his head to stare at the floor, "They would never let me."
"Tell them you need to be there to help with the translations. For cryin' out loud, Daniel, they OWE you this chance to be free of fame." She's glad that Jack can see what she sees. The retired (dead) General moves to place a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Think of it as an extended vacation."
"Like you are?" But there isn't mockery in his tone.
"Yep."
"I--"
"Ask, Daniel." Sam moves to put her arm around this man who has been her friend through thick and thin for longer than she likes to recall. "All they can do is say no."
"Then Sam and I will smuggle you into our luggage."
A grin tugs at Daniel's lips. "What luggage?"
Which is a point. They barely have anything to their names since they left in such a hurry. But, then, if Daniel's suggestion is doable, the US Government will fund a good clothes-shopping spree. Sam grimaces. BDUs again. God. She was sick of them then, and she is sick of them now. But this chance -- this opportunity...
Pegasus might be far away, but at least it will be something to do. Something they both can do, even if they end up finding a mostly deserted planet and disappearing forever. But she knows him, and knows herself now.
--
Coconut Island, Chapter Four.
One year, four months and five days after the free world learns of the Stargate program, and the scientists still haven't quite cracked the ZPM problem. Not for lack of trying, however.
--
They tell Daniel together.
It's strange and weird and frightening, but they do it, standing almost at attention while he paces their living room. Theirs, because Jack moved in two months ago with the logic that if she was going to be pregnant he was going to spoil her.
Kathy thinks it's cute.
"You're--well, I suppose that's not much of a surprise."
No, it probably isn't. At least, not after the initial surprise of her being alive still. And Jack knowing about it. And Cassie and Teal'c. And Barrett. But she rarely mentions him.
"I need to ask you a favor."
She blinks at him. "What?"
He's nervous, hands fiddling with a pen while he looks away. "It's the Atlantis expedition. We can't get their schematics of a ZPM to work properly."
"And?" She prompts him when he remains silent.
Jack's hand is playing with the back of her hair, and it's vaguely distracting because he keeps brushing his thumb against the skin of her neck. And she really really wants Daniel to get this over and done with so they can do -- other things.
"Dr. McKay said it was a pity you were dead, since you were about the only one he thought could do it. Other than him, of course."
"Of course." The sarcasm is there, but she knows that if McKay figured it out, she might be able to.
"So, I..." Daniel sighs, scrubs a hand over his face. "I'm sorry, Sam. I don't want you to think I'm using you. But we could really use your help."
"Huh? Daniel, I'm dead, I can't--"
"Not going back. Just," he pauses then pulls his briefcase up onto the coffee table and pops it open. "I have this disk. If you could just look at it, maybe run some simulations. Maybe you'll see something they've missed."
And she wants to take it, she realizes suddenly. The opportunity to poke at new technology, to run simulations and permutations and hand-code math graphs. "Ok. I can't promise anything."
"It's all right." A slight smile touches his lips, "It's not like before, is it."
She understands suddenly that he misses her. "Would you like to stay for dinner? Jack's cooking chicken and pasta."
The hand on the back of her neck stills.
"God, no. Jack's cooking? Sam, you aren't trying to kill me, are you?"
She smiles. "No, Daniel, I'm not."
A chuckle escapes him, and he stands. "It's a nice offer, but I've got to get back."
"The strain of command," Jack says dryly.
"Yeah."
The three of them stand awkwardly before Sam snorts. "C'mere, you two."
The hug is awkward and weird with all three of them and then it resolves, and she sighs. "I missed this."
Daniel kisses her cheek and steps back. "So did I. E-mail me or something, Sam."
"Willdo."
Jack's arm stays around her waist as Daniel walks out the door. No longer the young archeologist they once knew he is now old and grey, tired with the life he has led. Another sigh escapes her. "We did this to him."
"No." Jack's arm tightens. "He did this to himself. We only added to it, Carter."
They don't say anything else for a while, simply content to stand (and then sit, and then flop) there, basking in each other's presence. Until her stomach gurgles.
"Is that commentary on something, Carter?"
She chuckles and tugs at the hair she's been slowly running her fingers through. "You promised me food."
"You trust my cooking?" He's smirking up at her.
"Yes."
--
One year, four months and six days after the world is declared safe for everyone, and the world powers are still bickering softly amongst themselves.
The Tok'ra are scheduling their first official ambassadorial visit, and they want to visit everyone.
--
"You've missed this." He's leaning against the back of her chair, chin on the top of her head. His voice rumbles down through her.
She considers carefully. "Yes. I... I didn't mean to."
A soft chuckle escapes him. "Sam, I never thought you would be happy without technology to poke at."
"I was. I--I am."
"But you still miss it."
She sighs. "I do now, apparently." She taps a few more keys, bringing up a different schematic. "Aha."
"Aha?"
"I know where they went wrong. And McKay was being deliberately obtuse, the smug bastard."
"Ah."
He is thinking, she decides, and she suddenly isn't sure about what. "Jack?"
"This... Daniel..." He moves away from her, stops speaking and just gestures randomly.
For a moment, she sits there and looks at him, trying to understand what the problem is. "Daniel? What is it?" Neither have ever been very good at being articulate about their feelings, and she knows this about both of them, but his uncertainty scares her. "Jack, just tell me."
"I'm not ready to be a father."
The words blurt out into the air between them, and she blinks, and then just stares at him.
Finally, she finds thought and breath enough to ask, "What?"
"Daniel being here. It makes it all real." He scrubs a hand over his face and sighs, looking agitated and lost and upset. "Last time around--"
"Last time around it wasn't me." Sam informs him firmly, standing and crossing her arms. "And you weren't alone, and you were a damn good father--"
"But--"
"NO." She doesn't stamp her foot, although it's tempting. "Don't be an idiot, Jack. One careless mistake doesn't condemn you for life."
"It should."
She closes her eyes, grabs at the edges of her sanity and reaches out to him. "I need you here, Jack. As the father of my child, as my lover, as the man I love, as--" Her words stop, because she isn't sure what else to say, that will make the haunted and strained look go away. Because she hopes to have the words to heal him, but he might never be healed. And that scares her, because she needs him.
His hand catches hers, and he tugs, pulling her against him and setting his forehead against hers. "Ok." He draws in a shuddering breath, then lets it out. "I think... I think I can handle this."
"And if you can't?"
The grip on her hand tightens almost painfully. "I'll have to."
--
One year, five months and two days after the world is safe from communism, the new zero point modules are put into use in a series of tests which culminates in opening a gate to the Pegasus galaxy for the first time in four years. The ensuing discussion is carried on whilst piles and piles of equipment, munitions, and food are sent through on crawlers and the backs of people being sent to back up those already there.
Of particular note is the repeated insistence that Atlantis remain autonomous and run by Dr. Weir, and not by the military. The SGC is agreeable.
--
Barrett arrives on a Monday. Sam has always hated Mondays, especially the kind that are windy and cold and make her want to stay in bed. But Jack told her to get her pathetic ass down to the shop, because there might be customers. And, anyway, she's the sole bread-winner, here.
"They've figured it out." No preamble, but he's looking worried, shifty.
"What?"
"The press are already on their way, I think I've got -- maybe -- an hour on them. Just enough time to pack and go."
She doesn't want to comprehend what he's saying. "Barrett--"
"Someone hacked my account, Sam. Someone very very good knows that you're alive and living here. They've alerted the press to track you down."
It had to have been someone good. She'd written the security protocols on his computer. "Shit."
"The only good thing is that they don't know you're pregnant."
She can hear his unspoken 'yet'. "And Jack?"
"Him, too."
"Fine." She grabs the phone, dials.
"Hi."
"Jack? I'm feeling extra icky this morning. I'm coming home. Think you can start packing to head to the cabin this weekend?"
"Sam?"
"They've found us." She doesn't bother saying goodbye, simply hangs up. "C'mon."
--
One year, five months, and six days... the news breaks that Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Shanahan has been alive and well, living in a small town in Wyoming with her polygamist husband, retired Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. The SGC could not be reached for comment.
The media frenzy spreads into orgiastic masturbation before it begins to feed on itself as rumors fly, and the two are nowhere to be found.
--
She insists on saying goodbye to Victor and Kathy, and drags Jack with her because they liked him, too.
Victor only raises an eyebrow when she thanks him for everything. "We'll miss you, Sam."
"Thanks." She surprises them by hugging both tightly, and then leaning down to kiss Troy. He makes an icky face and declaims 'girl germs'. "We, uh... There's going to be media."
"Figured." Victor shifts in front of her eyes, suddenly looks less intelligent and more... like an itinerant farm hand. "Well," he said, his accent thick, "they left about three weeks ago. Nice couple. Don't know why theys gone. And, say, you wouldn't happen to know of anyone lookin' fer a place to rent?"
She laughs, Jack simply looks at him, then half-nods.
Kathy smiles, "You two take care." She catches Sam in another hug, then pulls back and blinks, "Just a moment."
While they stand there, waiting, Sam is certain she can feel Barrett's impatience all the way in here. Kathy returns and hands Sam a small green rattle. "Here."
"Uh..." They haven't told anyone, so it's kind of a surprise, and she looks uncertainly at the other woman. Of course, the fact that Sam is beginning to show (more than show. She's starting to wonder if this child is going to be as large as a house) should have clued her in that Kathy would Know.
"Jack's got the same look Victor did when I was carrying Troy. Three parts terror, one part insane fear, and one part smug bastard." And Kathy winks. And the whole looking like a house thing. Right.
"Oh. Thank you."
And they leave, because they have to. As they drive out of town they see news vans arriving, reporters and crew beginning to go from shop to shop and house to house, searching for the suddenly found.
She stops looking once they hit the interstate.
Both she and Jack insist on stopping in Laramie to see Cassie. They're lucky, she's in her room studying when they reach the campus. Without a word, she hugs them both and half-cries when they tell her they don't know when they'll see her next. Barrett simply wants to get them away, to a safe house, or something.
It's not that either believes they're in danger from the media. But they have made their choices and moved on, and they don't need this intrusion. Barrett also thinks there might be a faction that would try to seize the child and experiment on it. After all, it will have naquadah in its veins and Jack O'Neill's genes -- and the Asgard prized them enough to try cloning him.
They talk as they drive, and finally agree to the safe house. As long as it isn't one anyone knows about. Barrett calls them both difficult and stops listening to them while he drives. Sam falls asleep sometime around Billings.
When Jack wakes her, it's completely dark and she's cranky and hungry and her neck has a crick in it.
The second is remedied when Jack hands her a container of slightly cold fries. He looks apologetic when she death-glares at him. They stopped for food and didn't wake her?
He makes it up to her by carefully rubbing the crick from her neck and kissing her. She likes kissing Jack, but it doesn't quite make up for not being fed properly. After all, she's eating for two here, or has he forgotten?
Barrett finally stops and lets someone else drive. Sam lets Jack drive because she's still tired. At some point she knows she will have to wake up to the fact that she doesn't know where they are or where they're going. But for right now, she doesn't care.
--
One year, five months, and two weeks after the world is saved, the news media are still hounding the area around a small town in Wyoming. Even nearby Laramie is getting bombarded once they learn that young Cassandra Fraiser is at school there.
--
"We accept."
She can't believe she's said it until Jack blinks at her. "We do?"
"I mean--"
Daniel sighs, "You guys do understand that you'll never be able to come back?"
Which is a damn ironic thing for him to say, but she doesn't smile. "Yes."
"Sam--"
Her hand touches his shoulder, "I won't go without you, Jack. But I am going."
They're somewhere near Seattle. She got that much out of Barrett before he disappeared three days ago. Daniel arriving on their new doorstep had only interrupted her making dinner. He is tired and drawn and worn down, and she knows that some of it is the never-ending struggle to go on. To be the last of SG-1 involved in the Stargate Program (with Teal'c off helping the rebel jaffa discover how difficult self-government is. Jonas is still with the Kelownans, although he apparently sends home notes and requests for hair gel. And she and Jack are dead, of course).
Jack looks at her and sighs, "If this is what you want."
"But is this what you want?"
He simply looks at her, then glances at Daniel. "They'll never leave us alone, will they."
"Oh, I'm sure, in time," Daniel shoves his hands in his pockets and hunches his shoulders. He is worn down from constant barrages by press and sycophants alike. "They haven't stopped with me, though."
"You should come with us." Sam lets the words out before thinking them through fully.
Daniel stiffens and drops his head to stare at the floor, "They would never let me."
"Tell them you need to be there to help with the translations. For cryin' out loud, Daniel, they OWE you this chance to be free of fame." She's glad that Jack can see what she sees. The retired (dead) General moves to place a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Think of it as an extended vacation."
"Like you are?" But there isn't mockery in his tone.
"Yep."
"I--"
"Ask, Daniel." Sam moves to put her arm around this man who has been her friend through thick and thin for longer than she likes to recall. "All they can do is say no."
"Then Sam and I will smuggle you into our luggage."
A grin tugs at Daniel's lips. "What luggage?"
Which is a point. They barely have anything to their names since they left in such a hurry. But, then, if Daniel's suggestion is doable, the US Government will fund a good clothes-shopping spree. Sam grimaces. BDUs again. God. She was sick of them then, and she is sick of them now. But this chance -- this opportunity...
Pegasus might be far away, but at least it will be something to do. Something they both can do, even if they end up finding a mostly deserted planet and disappearing forever. But she knows him, and knows herself now.
--