Author's note: I didn't expect this to have an epilogue, I really didn't. It was just so slow at work . . . I'd intended to work on "Here Lies Gonou" or "Shining Light", which I will eventually put up . . . but this came out instead. Saiyuki and all the characters aren't mine, but the dates are. And again, this is a non-yaoi fic.
The house is dimly-lit and quiet when Hakuryuu and I drive up at two hours before midnight. My usual contented smile fades into a slightly worried look. It's still a prime hour for Gojyo to be at the tavern. Is he inside? Did he just leave a light on when he left? That must be it – he must have left a light on so that I wouldn't come home to a dark, empty house. My smile comes back, warming me as Hakuryuu perches on my shoulder, chirping tiredly and nuzzling my cheek. I stroke her neck gently as I walk up to the house, assuring her she'll get an extra-tasty treat before she goes to sleep.
The door opens; Gojyo left it unlocked, as he tends to do. Well, no one has ever broken into our house, so no harm done. I close the door behind me and slip into the little kitchen, hands creeping carefully through the dark pantry until by feel alone I locate the package of candied fruits I'd stashed there months ago.
Date? Please sweet wanting? Hakuryuu begs shamelessly.
A soft chuckle as I fish out a date stuffed with coconut. I've pushed her hard these last two nights; she deserves the treat. One hand nimbly closes the package while the other snakes out and holds the date up for Hakuryuu. She snatches it and glides off into the dark house – probably to her little padded basket. I move out into the living area to tidy up a bit before Gojyo comes back. The soft light illuminates the still form of Gojyo, head propped up on his hands as he sits at the table. Cigarette butts are scattered over the surface of the table, and ashes from the cigarette dangling from his lips drop silently into the choked ashtray. He doesn't move at my approach or seem to be breathing, and streaks of dried blood cover his face and arms. Another hallucination, then. My heart clenches at the sight of Gojyo's corpse, but I steel myself and dismiss the image as I move closer to the table to clear away the cigarette butts. Those, at least, are real.
Gojyo sighs and runs one hand through his hair, and once my body decides it's not going to have a heart attack, I realize that he's actually sitting there. His hair, not blood, is what I saw covering his face and arms.
"Oh," I manage in my usual mild, light tone. "You startled me."
Gojyo grinds the cigarette out in an ashtray, displacing several older butts. "So. How bad was he?" The words strive for cynical, but end up sounding pensive and worried.
Something's wrong. For Gojyo to refer to Sanzo simply as 'he' without adding any of the semi-affectionate insulting nicknames he tacks on to any reference to the monk, combined with the heavy, restless feel of his chi . . . Gojyo's not usually this quiet, and I suspect the worry dampening his chi is being caused by something other than Sanzo's state of health.
"Stubborn, as usual," I answer quietly as I pull up a chair and join Gojyo at the table. "He didn't fight me at all, Goku was worried, and the priests came to me in person this time." My fingers skitter along the surface of the table nervously, picking up cigarette butts and piling them in the ashtray. "Whatever it is this time, it's bad."
Gojyo nods in agreement with my serious tone, a grimace indicating that he didn't miss my gross understatement. "You make it there and back without any trouble?" His crimson eyes rake across my face, looking for evidence of injury. His chi roils underneath the heavy, still layer – a sure sign of concern for my well-being, a protectiveness I've only seen in him a handful of times in the last three years. There's no hiding anything from him when he's like this. Between that and Right Speech, I don't even try to dance around what happened.
"We encountered a group of youkai children on the way back." The event didn't worry me, but Gojyo will want to know why my sleeve has punctures in it. "They had lost their sense of self – they were feral, almost mindless. The ability to understand and form words was beyond them."
Gojyo does not press for details as he usually would; he can be as relentless about making sure I take care of myself as I am with Sanzo's health. Instead, he merely nods as though I've just confirmed something.
"A guy in the tavern lost himself, too. Around seven-ish. He was threatening the other patrons." The short, clipped sentences tell me exactly how that ended.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, contemplating these events and coming to the same disquieting conclusion. For the last few weeks, we've been hearing rumors of youkai further to the west that suddenly lost their minds and became feral, attacking everyone around them in unthinking rage. If these rumors are to be believed – and tonight's events certainly lend strength to the stories – then there is some sort of sweeping epidemic crossing the continent. The paranoid fear that all the weaker-willed youkai will go berserk suddenly seems logical, and gives rise to the more horrible idea that if this epidemic keeps on, fully half the youkai population will go feral and have to be killed. The strain between human and youkai will take its toll on the youkai that remain, weakening their will and putting them at risk. The fear of suddenly becoming a mindless killing machine won't help, either. And if this mysterious force gets stronger, it will begin affecting the stronger-willed youkai, as well. From there, it's not hard to imagine that the only youkai left unaffected by this will be the ones with inhibitors, like me, and the ones with human blood, like Gojyo.
Youkai inhibitors like mine are extremely rare; even the simple pierced-earring ones are beyond the means of all but the most well-off youkai.
The horror of the possibilities sinks into me, and I realize that this has to be what the temple wanted Sanzo for. Guilt follows eagerly in the wake of the horror. Despite what Sanzo said, I should have asked the priests why they wanted him to return to the temple. And if that truly is what's going on . . . I should not have left. I should have stayed so that he could see that I was okay. On the other hand, I know that being gone unexpectedly for several days would make Gojyo worry about me, so the solution would be to bring Gojyo with me so that Sanzo doesn't worry about either of us. If we get a good night's sleep and set out early tomorrow, we might be able to make it to Chang An before Sanzo leaves the temple again.
"Let's get to bed," Gojyo says suddenly as I open my mouth to suggest the same course of action. "I bet that stinking monk knows exactly what's going on. Well, I'm not going to just sit here and let him smirk because he knows something I don't! Hakkai, we're going to Chang An in the morning, and I'm gonna get an explanation from him!"
I close my mouth and give Gojyo a grateful smile for his obviously manufactured excuse. He might genuinely want an explanation, but that's not the reason he decided to go to Chang An; he knows that I'm likely to work myself into a guilt-laced depression if I'm left to brood. He's been making excuses like this since before I began my second life. They may look arrogant and self-centered, but the intent behind them is entirely different, and it touches me deeply every time he does something like this.
Gojyo pushes away from the table and flops into bed. I quietly gather the rest of the cigarette butts and dump them into the rubbish bin outside the house, then carefully incinerate them with a quick flash of chi. The door gets locked behind me as I go back inside, and I wind my way through the darkened room to my own bed. Hakuryuu is asleep on the blanket; I smile affectionately at her as I change into night clothes and carefully remove my eyepiece. She burbles in sleepy protest as I lift her up enough to slide under the covers, then settles on my chest with a contented little sigh once I've laid down. Between Gojyo's muffled snores coming from the other room, Hakuryuu's comforting presence, and the moonlight coming in through the window, I am able to fall asleep without worrying too much.
In the morning, I think as I drift off, we'll go find Sanzo and Goku.