Hey everyone! I am so so so so sorry that I haven't been able to update for a long time, but I have been sooo busy with school and soccer lately, it's crazy! And to make it worse, I have writers block! But you all gave me such great reviews, that I had to update.. so I am really sorry if this chapter like sucks!! And, please read and review!! I really appreciate it, it makes me want to update faster!! Thanks!This chpater is kind of a longer one(well for me), so I hope you enjoy it.
Yay, I got so many reviews thank you all soo much, I appreciate everyone one of them!
Wen- Thank you! I'm sorry it's been so long, but I hope that you're still here!:)
Naria4- It's been a long time since I have updated, so hopefully you aren't grounded anymore, and hopefully you can read and review! Thank you!
mrs.sodapopcurtis- Hey! Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter!
Tensleep- Hey! Thank you so much for both reviews! It made me so happy to see another review from you!:) I love it! I am sorry this chapter isn't so good... I have writers block right now.. but I still hope that you'll read and review with any comments you have.:) Thanks!
Ana- Hi, once again, sorry for the long wait.. and I hope that you enjoy this chapter, even though it isn't that good! Thanks for the review!
lisa-Thanks for the review! I hope you'll stay and keep reading!
Shannon- Thanks so much! I think this chapter is really bad, but I just wanted to get another one out! Keep reading and reviewing!
Dally's Chick- Thanks for the review, I will think about your suggestion:)
becc-gallanter- Hey, I know you've been busy lately, don't worry about not reviewing soon enough!:) Keep reading, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
KayAay- Thanks for the review! I hope you will read this chapter!
little cosette- Thank you! I never thought that I wrote Soda good! Thanks! Keep R&Ring!:)
Warning: There is mild swearing in this chapter, but nothing that anyone hasn't heard a million times..
::::AUTHORS NOTE:::: Okay, this chapter is again, kinda mushy and lovey. But I think that this will be the last of it for a while.. don't worry for those of you who like romance, I will still have it in the story plenty, just not as much as I have now.. And usually people skip through the parts of a fanfic that have songs in them, but please read the lyrics, and if you can download the song. I thought it fit so well with the storyline. Also, I replaced the word dad with Dare(Darry) in the lyrics... so it would make more sense.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan, they do. And I DO NOT own The Outsiders.
Chapter 8- I Can't Be Perfect- Jenny's POV
" So how are you feeling kid?" Two- bit asked Pony while we were all eating the ham and mashed potatoes that Soda made.
"By the looks of things he's a pretty fast healer." Darry said sarcastically.
I sighed. I knew he was mad because Pony had given me a hickey.. it wasn't that big of a deal, but obviously Darry didn't think so.
Pony just gave Darry a death look.
" I'm a little sore but I am feeling better. The doctor said the knife didn't go in that deep." Pony said to Two-bit.
" Your lips look swollen to me, is that where your sore?" Darry asked Pony. Everyone was staring at Pony and I. Even Steve.
Okay, that's it! I knew that Darry didn't like me. How was I supposed to live here for two months? Darry hated me. I got up from the table to leave. I felt tears sting my eyes for the third time today. Then Pony pulled my hand signaling for me to sit down.
" Damn it Darry! We're boyfriend and girlfriend!! We're allowed to kiss. I'm not a baby anymore. So stop pretending that I am!! Jenny's our guest. How the hell can you treat her like this? She's been through a lot in the past couple days. What in the hell is wrong with you? I hate you Darry!! It's one thing to treat me like shit, but when you do it to her you've gone to far." Pony yelled. I had never heard him like this before, he was really mad. Pony never usually used bad language.
Everyone just sat listening to Pony talk. Darry looked mad too. And Soda looked kind of sad, and I actually felt bad for him. He didn't deserve this. All he wanted was a family that got along. Both Steve and Two-bit just stared amazed that Pony was yelling like this.
" And you know what? if she's going to be treated like this here, then we'll just leave!" Pony yelled taking my hand. We both ran out of the house. Pony was sore, and I knew it hurt him to run, but obviously he didn't care, because we ran and ran until we somehow reached my house. I was scared that the socs would see us, but thankfully they didn't, but it did start to rain. We were both soaking wet.
" Do you want to stay here for tonight?" I asked him gently. Gosh, but he was so handsome. Even in his plain black shirt and jeans. His hair was no longer put back with gel. It was messy and wet, but I liked it. he looked really lost and confused. I took his hand and led him all the way up to my room.
He wasn't saying anything, he was just sitting on the edge of my bed staring blankly ahead. And I felt bad for him. He hated to fight with Darry, but he did it to stick up for me.
" Here, take your shirt off before you get pneumonia." I told him. He took his shirt off, but didn't take the towel. He was spacing out. I took the towel and dried his hair off for him. He still was staring ahead. His mind was somewhere else. I knelt down to meet his eyes. And I cupped his face in my hands.
" It's okay. It'll be alright. I promise." I said stroking his temple with my thumb.
" Okay." Was all he said.
I wrapped the towel around his shoulders.
" I'm going to go change. I'll be right back sweetie." I said.
A few moments later I came out in my pajama bottoms and a white tank top. Pony was still sitting where I left him. He was dry now. So I took the towel and hung it over the back of my desk chair. I saw a tear roll down his cheek. And my heart ached for him. I laid on my bed and motioned for him to come lay with me. He slipped his shoes off and laid down next to me. His jeans were still damp, but I didn't mind. I picked his soaking wet shirt up and threw it on the ground. He was crying. I wrapped my arms around him, and hugged him close to me. He was hurting, and it was because of Darry. Darry wanting him to be perfect. But, know one is perfect.
Hey Dare(dad) look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think about the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spend with me now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I slowly opened my eyes to see Pony watching me lovingly. His arms were wrapped around me. Somehow in the night we always seam to switch around so that he is holding me when we wake up. I looked in his eyes. They were his old eyes. They were the eyes that I fell in love with. Warm and loving. I was glad to see that they were back again.
" Hi.." I said.
" Hey.. listen I am really sorry about last night.. I was just really out of it. I guess. I was kinda lost. Thanks for finding me." he said.
" Your welcome." I said. I noticed that he still didn't have a shirt on. His jeans were dry now, and I noticed that my hand was resting on his chest. I smile at him. This was nice, and I could definitely get used to it.
" I want to wake up in your arms everyday." I said leaning in to kiss him.
When we kissed in didn't feel the same as it usually did. Something was wrong.
" Are you okay?" I asked pulling away.
" Yeah, I am okay... I am just thinking." he said.
" Oh yeah? About what?" I asked. He seamed sad.
" Um.. Darry." he said.
I could tell that he was lying. Whatever was bugging him he didn't want to tell me, so I wasn't going to push it just yet.
" Don't worry about it. He is just being your guardian. He has to look out for you. He is like your dad would be sweetie. If my dad found out that you gave me a hickey he would freak out." I said smiling.
" I know, but Darry didn't have to be so rude to you.. I'm sorry for him." Pony said.
" Don't be.. it's not your fault. He's just trying to look out for you. He loves you a lot Pony. You know that." I said.
" I guess. It's just that he expects me to be.. perfect. In everyway. And I'm just not." he said softly.
" Nope, but your pretty damn close." I said leaning in to kiss him again, but again he sort of leaned away.
"Pony what's wrong?" I asked.
" Umm.. I'm sorry I'm just tired.. that's all." he said slowly.
" So you can't kiss me because your tired? Cut the crap Pony, what's really wrong?" I said.
" Nothing is wrong..." he lied.
" Pony come on.. you can tell me... what is it?" I asked feeling hurt that he couldn't tell me something that was bothering him.
We were both sitting on the foot of my bed now. He simply sighed and put his head down.
" Listen Pony. If we're going to work than we can't have secrets from each other! We have to tell each other everything, and if there is something bothering you then I need to know so that I can help you!" I said. Well actually half said half yelled. I didn't mean to sound so mean. And I felt guilty. I had a secret from Pony, that I knew I should tell him. I still had the cuts and bruises from the socs. They weren't getting any better. Even when we were sleeping at night I had to get up and change my shirt, because a couple of the cuts opened and I had blood on my white shirt. But to make sure that Pony wasn't suspicious I put on an identical white tank top on.
" You're right.." he said looking ashamed.
" I'm sorry Pony, I didn't mean to yell at you before. I just hate to see you all sad and upset like this." I said.
" I know.. I am sorry." he said.
" So.. I guess we had an argument huh?" I asked smiling.
" Yeah, I guess, but we're okay. Right?" he asked.
" Definitely. You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to Pony." I said feeling bad about trying to make him tell me.
" I'm just upset about what the socs did to you. You didn't deserve it.." he said trailing off.
Did he now what they did to me? I wondered.
" I didn't deserve what?" I asked. I hoped to god that he didn't know what they really did.
" All of the things they said to you. And pushing you around. It hurt me that I couldn't help you. I don't want them to hurt you again. And if your with me there will always be a possibility that you'll be hurt again. You're always in danger." he said sadly.
" That's what has been bothering you sweetie?" I asked him.
" Yeah, well sort of. I just care about you so much, and I can't stand to see you get hurt again." he said to me. He really did love me, and it made me so happy to know that he did.
" Pon, don't worry. The gang will take care of them. We're safe." I said scooting over closer to him. We were both still sitting on my bed together.
" I love you Jenny." he said.
Gosh but I loved the way that he said my name.
" I love you too Pony." I said as I gently pushed him back so that he was laying on my bed. And I leaned over him and kissed him.
He pulled me down until I was half way on top of him, then he wrapped his arms around me bringing me closer to him. I was so wrapped up in our kiss that I didn't even realize when Pony put his hands up the back of my shirt and started gently rubbing my back while we still laid there kissing. He was hurting my cuts, and I hoped that he didn't notice that they were there, or that I was hurting. All of the sudden he froze, and he opened his eyes and he pulled away from me. he slowly took him hands out from under my shirt, and I rolled off of him and we both sat up. He looked at his hands and there was blood on them. My blood. I gasped. What was I going to do now? He found out, there wasn't much that I could do. He looked terrified.
" Jenn.. Jenny? Wh- what?.. I.." he stuttered at a loss of words.
I didn't know he was terrified because my blood was on his hands or because he didn't know what was going on. He lifted up the back of my shirt. I started crying as he looked at my back. He was going to leave me, I just knew it. He must hate me now. I pulled down my shirt ashamed.
" Let me see." he said sounding angry. I think he was mad because I didn't tell him anything about what they were or where they came from. I lifted up my shirt and stood up. I showed him my stomach and my back. He gasped when I also showed him my stomach.
" F*ck. What the hell happened Jenny?" he asked. He was really mad.And I could also tell that he was really worried about me. I had been with him for longer than two months, and I had never heard him say that word before. Somehow I got the feeling that he wasn't mad at me, but he was mad at whatever did this to me. I knew that I had to finally tell him the truth...
TBC...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sorry that that chapter sucked!! I hope that you'll all forgive me for it, and read and review anyways!! And, again.. sorry for spelling or grammar errors! R&R!!PLEASE! Thank you!
Yay, I got so many reviews thank you all soo much, I appreciate everyone one of them!
Wen- Thank you! I'm sorry it's been so long, but I hope that you're still here!:)
Naria4- It's been a long time since I have updated, so hopefully you aren't grounded anymore, and hopefully you can read and review! Thank you!
mrs.sodapopcurtis- Hey! Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter!
Tensleep- Hey! Thank you so much for both reviews! It made me so happy to see another review from you!:) I love it! I am sorry this chapter isn't so good... I have writers block right now.. but I still hope that you'll read and review with any comments you have.:) Thanks!
Ana- Hi, once again, sorry for the long wait.. and I hope that you enjoy this chapter, even though it isn't that good! Thanks for the review!
lisa-Thanks for the review! I hope you'll stay and keep reading!
Shannon- Thanks so much! I think this chapter is really bad, but I just wanted to get another one out! Keep reading and reviewing!
Dally's Chick- Thanks for the review, I will think about your suggestion:)
becc-gallanter- Hey, I know you've been busy lately, don't worry about not reviewing soon enough!:) Keep reading, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
KayAay- Thanks for the review! I hope you will read this chapter!
little cosette- Thank you! I never thought that I wrote Soda good! Thanks! Keep R&Ring!:)
Warning: There is mild swearing in this chapter, but nothing that anyone hasn't heard a million times..
::::AUTHORS NOTE:::: Okay, this chapter is again, kinda mushy and lovey. But I think that this will be the last of it for a while.. don't worry for those of you who like romance, I will still have it in the story plenty, just not as much as I have now.. And usually people skip through the parts of a fanfic that have songs in them, but please read the lyrics, and if you can download the song. I thought it fit so well with the storyline. Also, I replaced the word dad with Dare(Darry) in the lyrics... so it would make more sense.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan, they do. And I DO NOT own The Outsiders.
Chapter 8- I Can't Be Perfect- Jenny's POV
" So how are you feeling kid?" Two- bit asked Pony while we were all eating the ham and mashed potatoes that Soda made.
"By the looks of things he's a pretty fast healer." Darry said sarcastically.
I sighed. I knew he was mad because Pony had given me a hickey.. it wasn't that big of a deal, but obviously Darry didn't think so.
Pony just gave Darry a death look.
" I'm a little sore but I am feeling better. The doctor said the knife didn't go in that deep." Pony said to Two-bit.
" Your lips look swollen to me, is that where your sore?" Darry asked Pony. Everyone was staring at Pony and I. Even Steve.
Okay, that's it! I knew that Darry didn't like me. How was I supposed to live here for two months? Darry hated me. I got up from the table to leave. I felt tears sting my eyes for the third time today. Then Pony pulled my hand signaling for me to sit down.
" Damn it Darry! We're boyfriend and girlfriend!! We're allowed to kiss. I'm not a baby anymore. So stop pretending that I am!! Jenny's our guest. How the hell can you treat her like this? She's been through a lot in the past couple days. What in the hell is wrong with you? I hate you Darry!! It's one thing to treat me like shit, but when you do it to her you've gone to far." Pony yelled. I had never heard him like this before, he was really mad. Pony never usually used bad language.
Everyone just sat listening to Pony talk. Darry looked mad too. And Soda looked kind of sad, and I actually felt bad for him. He didn't deserve this. All he wanted was a family that got along. Both Steve and Two-bit just stared amazed that Pony was yelling like this.
" And you know what? if she's going to be treated like this here, then we'll just leave!" Pony yelled taking my hand. We both ran out of the house. Pony was sore, and I knew it hurt him to run, but obviously he didn't care, because we ran and ran until we somehow reached my house. I was scared that the socs would see us, but thankfully they didn't, but it did start to rain. We were both soaking wet.
" Do you want to stay here for tonight?" I asked him gently. Gosh, but he was so handsome. Even in his plain black shirt and jeans. His hair was no longer put back with gel. It was messy and wet, but I liked it. he looked really lost and confused. I took his hand and led him all the way up to my room.
He wasn't saying anything, he was just sitting on the edge of my bed staring blankly ahead. And I felt bad for him. He hated to fight with Darry, but he did it to stick up for me.
" Here, take your shirt off before you get pneumonia." I told him. He took his shirt off, but didn't take the towel. He was spacing out. I took the towel and dried his hair off for him. He still was staring ahead. His mind was somewhere else. I knelt down to meet his eyes. And I cupped his face in my hands.
" It's okay. It'll be alright. I promise." I said stroking his temple with my thumb.
" Okay." Was all he said.
I wrapped the towel around his shoulders.
" I'm going to go change. I'll be right back sweetie." I said.
A few moments later I came out in my pajama bottoms and a white tank top. Pony was still sitting where I left him. He was dry now. So I took the towel and hung it over the back of my desk chair. I saw a tear roll down his cheek. And my heart ached for him. I laid on my bed and motioned for him to come lay with me. He slipped his shoes off and laid down next to me. His jeans were still damp, but I didn't mind. I picked his soaking wet shirt up and threw it on the ground. He was crying. I wrapped my arms around him, and hugged him close to me. He was hurting, and it was because of Darry. Darry wanting him to be perfect. But, know one is perfect.
Hey Dare(dad) look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I try not to think about the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spend with me now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
I slowly opened my eyes to see Pony watching me lovingly. His arms were wrapped around me. Somehow in the night we always seam to switch around so that he is holding me when we wake up. I looked in his eyes. They were his old eyes. They were the eyes that I fell in love with. Warm and loving. I was glad to see that they were back again.
" Hi.." I said.
" Hey.. listen I am really sorry about last night.. I was just really out of it. I guess. I was kinda lost. Thanks for finding me." he said.
" Your welcome." I said. I noticed that he still didn't have a shirt on. His jeans were dry now, and I noticed that my hand was resting on his chest. I smile at him. This was nice, and I could definitely get used to it.
" I want to wake up in your arms everyday." I said leaning in to kiss him.
When we kissed in didn't feel the same as it usually did. Something was wrong.
" Are you okay?" I asked pulling away.
" Yeah, I am okay... I am just thinking." he said.
" Oh yeah? About what?" I asked. He seamed sad.
" Um.. Darry." he said.
I could tell that he was lying. Whatever was bugging him he didn't want to tell me, so I wasn't going to push it just yet.
" Don't worry about it. He is just being your guardian. He has to look out for you. He is like your dad would be sweetie. If my dad found out that you gave me a hickey he would freak out." I said smiling.
" I know, but Darry didn't have to be so rude to you.. I'm sorry for him." Pony said.
" Don't be.. it's not your fault. He's just trying to look out for you. He loves you a lot Pony. You know that." I said.
" I guess. It's just that he expects me to be.. perfect. In everyway. And I'm just not." he said softly.
" Nope, but your pretty damn close." I said leaning in to kiss him again, but again he sort of leaned away.
"Pony what's wrong?" I asked.
" Umm.. I'm sorry I'm just tired.. that's all." he said slowly.
" So you can't kiss me because your tired? Cut the crap Pony, what's really wrong?" I said.
" Nothing is wrong..." he lied.
" Pony come on.. you can tell me... what is it?" I asked feeling hurt that he couldn't tell me something that was bothering him.
We were both sitting on the foot of my bed now. He simply sighed and put his head down.
" Listen Pony. If we're going to work than we can't have secrets from each other! We have to tell each other everything, and if there is something bothering you then I need to know so that I can help you!" I said. Well actually half said half yelled. I didn't mean to sound so mean. And I felt guilty. I had a secret from Pony, that I knew I should tell him. I still had the cuts and bruises from the socs. They weren't getting any better. Even when we were sleeping at night I had to get up and change my shirt, because a couple of the cuts opened and I had blood on my white shirt. But to make sure that Pony wasn't suspicious I put on an identical white tank top on.
" You're right.." he said looking ashamed.
" I'm sorry Pony, I didn't mean to yell at you before. I just hate to see you all sad and upset like this." I said.
" I know.. I am sorry." he said.
" So.. I guess we had an argument huh?" I asked smiling.
" Yeah, I guess, but we're okay. Right?" he asked.
" Definitely. You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to Pony." I said feeling bad about trying to make him tell me.
" I'm just upset about what the socs did to you. You didn't deserve it.." he said trailing off.
Did he now what they did to me? I wondered.
" I didn't deserve what?" I asked. I hoped to god that he didn't know what they really did.
" All of the things they said to you. And pushing you around. It hurt me that I couldn't help you. I don't want them to hurt you again. And if your with me there will always be a possibility that you'll be hurt again. You're always in danger." he said sadly.
" That's what has been bothering you sweetie?" I asked him.
" Yeah, well sort of. I just care about you so much, and I can't stand to see you get hurt again." he said to me. He really did love me, and it made me so happy to know that he did.
" Pon, don't worry. The gang will take care of them. We're safe." I said scooting over closer to him. We were both still sitting on my bed together.
" I love you Jenny." he said.
Gosh but I loved the way that he said my name.
" I love you too Pony." I said as I gently pushed him back so that he was laying on my bed. And I leaned over him and kissed him.
He pulled me down until I was half way on top of him, then he wrapped his arms around me bringing me closer to him. I was so wrapped up in our kiss that I didn't even realize when Pony put his hands up the back of my shirt and started gently rubbing my back while we still laid there kissing. He was hurting my cuts, and I hoped that he didn't notice that they were there, or that I was hurting. All of the sudden he froze, and he opened his eyes and he pulled away from me. he slowly took him hands out from under my shirt, and I rolled off of him and we both sat up. He looked at his hands and there was blood on them. My blood. I gasped. What was I going to do now? He found out, there wasn't much that I could do. He looked terrified.
" Jenn.. Jenny? Wh- what?.. I.." he stuttered at a loss of words.
I didn't know he was terrified because my blood was on his hands or because he didn't know what was going on. He lifted up the back of my shirt. I started crying as he looked at my back. He was going to leave me, I just knew it. He must hate me now. I pulled down my shirt ashamed.
" Let me see." he said sounding angry. I think he was mad because I didn't tell him anything about what they were or where they came from. I lifted up my shirt and stood up. I showed him my stomach and my back. He gasped when I also showed him my stomach.
" F*ck. What the hell happened Jenny?" he asked. He was really mad.And I could also tell that he was really worried about me. I had been with him for longer than two months, and I had never heard him say that word before. Somehow I got the feeling that he wasn't mad at me, but he was mad at whatever did this to me. I knew that I had to finally tell him the truth...
TBC...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sorry that that chapter sucked!! I hope that you'll all forgive me for it, and read and review anyways!! And, again.. sorry for spelling or grammar errors! R&R!!PLEASE! Thank you!