Chapter 2; Karou, 1st person pov
It was only my third week with Inu Yasha and the others.
Inu Yasha still didn't like me, but at least he left me alone most of the time now.
Alone... that's how I'd felt the last three weeks. Sure, Kagome and Sango were great and were always there for me, but none of them would know what it was like.
I was brought to a strange place and time against my will; to be transformed into a creature thought to only be myth.
I had always wanted a different life, I mean... I was raised (if you can call it that) by my dad, who was always gone on "business." My mom had died when I was two and my dad unwillingly took me in.
He hated the whole fact that I was a girl, but that never seemed to affect my brother, Dante.
When I was living with my dad, Dante always took care of me. Even the small things mattered to him. Like when I started getting my period for the first time, he got his girlfriend to help me out and help me through "growing up."
Even when I kept getting beaten up at school. Dante showed me the tricks to avoid the blows or avoid the fights, whichever came up sooner. But, now I didn't even have him anymore...
Miroku was trying to grope Sango again when a voice came from overhead.
"Inu Yasha! Prepare to die!"
A tall, white-haired man with one arm jumped from a two-headed dragon, to face Inu Yasha.
"Sesshomarou!" Inu Yasha yelled at him.
'This is Sesshomarou?!' I thought. Kagome had told me of him, but he seemed different than she made him sound.
Inu Yasha and Sesshomarou started to fiercely battle. They didn't even slow until they passed Kagome and me up.
Sesshomarou looked at me as I saw his face.
We held that stare for what seemed to be forever.
Then he returned his attention to his fight, allowing me to realize just why I was so drawn to his stare.
His eyes were like my brothers. They held a hardness brought by many experiences, but also, if you knew to look for it... a deep cross of curiosity and humor. So hidden you would have to look very hard to see it.
(Kouga-How do you know this?) (WG-Dante used to always have the same expression. She was used to it.) (Kouga-Oh... I feel stupid again...) (WG-Good...)
Not long after, Sesshomarou fled the battle, though he appeared to be winning.
When he did, he seemed almost distracted... as if he were deep in thought. Constantly after that battle, Inu Yasha and I noticed Sesshomarou following closely after us.
Finally one night of new moon, (for some reason I was like Inu and lost my demonic traits on the new moon. Even my ability to change.) I went into a clearing to see if he would come.
As I thought, Sesshomarou came to watch me from the trees.
"Sesshomarou!" I called to him. "Please show yourself. I need to speak with you..."
After a moment's hesitation, Sesshomarou appeared in front of me, trying to look as uninterested as possible.
"What?..." He asked.
"Why have you been following me? I know from your actions and the way you have looked at me, that it hasn't been over Tetsiega."
"Why would I have any interest in a half demon..." Sesshomarou said at first.
I gave him a very unbelieving look.
At first he was silent, then he finally said. "I have found out much about you. Yet... I still have been unable to learn your name. State it now."
A typical man. He wanted control over the conversation.
I grinned wolfishly, knowing he wasn't as tough as he acted.
"My name is Karou. And I don't seem to know much of you... Sesshomarou. Though, I do know that we are alike..."
His eyes showed a glint of interest, though he tried to hide it.
"How am I similar to a half-breed..." he asked.
"We are both alone. We have others around us, of some sort, but none will really understand us. They are incapable of it... They never know what makes you or I sad, angry... happy..."
"What are you yammering about? I am nothing of the sort. Your thoughts are false." He said irritably.
I stepped forward and felt him tense against me as I embraced him. I didn't fear him killing me... I had a feeling he wouldn't do that.
What made me wonder was... why was I acting this way? In my time I would have clobbered him for looking at me the wrong way...
When I let go of him, he didn't say a word.
After a moment of silence he leapt off into the woods behind me.
I slowly walked back to where the others had set up camp. My mind filled with questions about how I had acted.
It was just after sunrise and Inu Yasha was awake as usual.
When I went to sit beside him and Kagome, I saw his nose and ears start to twitch.
He leapt from the ground and yelled as he drew Tetsiega, "Sesshomarou! Where are you?! I know you're here!"
When he passed me he suddenly halted and spun on his heel to face me.
"You..." Kagome and the others got up as they tried to calm him.
"Inu Yasha calm down. Don't start going mad on us. You just returned to your half-demon form. Maybe you're just being paranoid." Kagome suggested.
"You freaking REEK of his god-damned stench! What were you doing with him?!" He yelled at me.
"Inu Yasha! SIT!!" Kagome yelled just as he was going to impale me.
"Sorry, he..."
I stopped her before she could say anything else.
"No, Kagome. He's right. I was with Sesshomarou."
"I knew it! You bitch!" Inu Yasha yelled as he started to get up.
"Maybe I am! But I wasn't with him the way you think! My reasons were different."
"See, Kagome?! This is why I didn't want that wench to come along with us. All she will do is betray us for her own benefit!"
I slapped him as hard as I could, leaving a red mark on his face and silence with it.
"Kagome, I'll return later to see if I am still accepted... For now let me be alone."
I turned around and started to walk towards a dense part of the woods with tears silently collecting in my eyes.
As I was leaving I heard Kagome yell at Inu Yasha, "How could you be so insensitive?! You don't know what she's been through."
"So." He retorted. "I've had my share of rough spots... what makes her so special?"
I stopped in my tracks and said before Kagome could reply.
"Stop, Kagome. Of all the things I despise, pity is the worst. That is all I have left to ask. Do not pity me..."
After that Kagome stood silent.
I walked on through the woods until I was stopped by Sesshomarou.
"Let me be, Sesshomarou, or I'll... I'll..." I quietly said, trying to say it with anger.
"I saw what happened..." He said.
I looked away as I felt the sting of the words.
"I thought about what you said earlier. I've come to think, maybe you were correct."
He paused for a moment.
"Come with me. You must be tired." He mounted the two-headed dragon and gave me his hand to help me up.
'Why was he being so kind? Well, what other choices do I have now?" I clambered up behind him, refusing his hand.
I put my arms around him and felt the wind upon my body as we flew off to an unkown place, and as I drifted into a restless slumber.
When I awoke I was still riding Sesshomarou's dragon.
I looked down to see a rocky, barren wasteland fit only for a demon.
I was startled by a voice.
"So you've finally awakened." Sesshomarou said.
"Yeah, sorry. I was wasted or something I swear..."
After what I figured to be 15 minutes or so, a tremendous castle appeared.
I nodded towards the castle. "Those where we're going?"
He didn't respond.
I sighed and rested my head on his back and wondered what would happen because I had come with Sesshomarou.
We landed after an hour or so.
I gazed upon the sky to see that it was just before sunset.
I must have slept all day.
Just as we dismounted On-Un, a small girl and a toad... looking... thing... ran up. The toad-looking-thing danced around giddily as the girl came up to Sesshomarou.
"Master Sesshomarou! I missed you so!" she said.
"Did you fare well, Rin?" He replied, putting his hand on her head.
"Oh, yes! Master Jaken and I played 'The Silent Samurai!' Though Master Jaken became quite melancholy when I beat him."
Then she looked over and noticed me.
"Master Sesshomarou? We've never had a guest before! Is she one of your lady friends?" she asked as super-annoying-toad-looking-thing stopped dancing and singing to stare at me.
Even though Sesshomarou hadn't answered her, the girl called Rin ran up to me and hugged me tightly.
Okay, now that toad was REALLY getting on my nerves now. All he had done was stare at me for what seemed to be forever.
I started to growl deep in my throat at it. (Kouga- You were growling at him? Um... okay doggy...) (WG-hits Kouga in head with 2x4) (Kouga- TT)
Thank goodness Sesshomarou broke the silence before I broke the stupid thing's neck!
"Rin, since you have behaved well, you may ride On-Un until sunset. Jaken, you watch after her." He said.
Rin skipped off happily, holding the dragon's reigns in one hand, with an upset toad (Jaken... That was it!) following after her.
Then Sesshomarou spoke to me, "Follow me." he said as he went into the enormous castle.
Normally, being commanded by a man would really tick my clock, but it didn't bother me for some reason. It felt natural... creepy huh?
I followed him into the castle with a slight sway in my walk, I must have looked high or drunk...
We turned down a narrow, torch lit hallway.
I looked at Sesshomarou as I got a sense of depression in the dim hall. It felt so gloomy here. It was no wonder Sesshomarou seemed so distant. I would to if I lived here.
"Don't you ever become lonely here? This place is just so... sad..." I asked.
He paused for a moment before he finally replied.
"No, of course not. Besides, this is all that I have that was left to me by my father. Most everything else was left to... my half-brother."
The pause before Inu Yasha's name assured me this wasn't entirely true.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"I know how it feels you know... when you're alone... But for me that's different! People surround me, yet none of them understand me. You don't allow people to get too close to you is your reason for loneliness. Something must have built that shield around your heart. I know what built my own wall... but what built yours?" I stopped walking after I said this.
For a moment Sesshomarou stopped as if pondering on some distant thought, then he started down the hall again.
He showed me to a room and left me there for a while.
Inu Yasha sat angrily down on a tree limb as he watched the others start to make a bon-fire for the night.
Kagome was ignoring him for yelling at Karou. She would go around helping Sango with an 'I'm pissed off but trying not to look it' face.
'It wasn't my fault after all.' Inu Yasha thought.
'She even admitted to having contact with my half-brother!'
Inu Yasha's eyes were drawn to Kagome as a thought entered his mind.
She looked SO much like Kikyo.
Kikyo... when he finally had to choose... WHO would he choose? Kagome or Kikyo?
Silently Inu Yasha leaned back and wished he could choose. It was just too hard to choose between the two of them.
I sat down and leaned against the wall as I pulled my wooden flute out and began to play a tune Dante had taught me. It sounded vaguely like the song that wolf demon had played to transform me.
I closed my eyes and let myself become swept away with the music. As I played the final cords, I heard a light rap on the door.
"Come in." I said.
The girl, Rin, came in.
"That was pretty." She said.
"Thanks..."
"Will you be staying long?" she suddenly asked with an undistinguishable expression.
"Why?" I asked in response.
The small girl leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "I think Master Sesshomarou likes you. When I hugged you, I saw him smile. Master Sesshomarou never smiles..."
"Really..." I said as I grinned and Rin smirked up at me.
"What is your name? Mine is Rin!" she said.
"Call me Karou..."
She came over and hugged me.
"Alright Miss Karou!"
"Just Karou works." I said and laughed.
"Okay!" Then she scampered out of my room to go play.
Not even a moment later, she poked her head in my doorway and asked, "Do you want to play Tag with me? Master Jaken doesn't like that game."
I grinned. "Sure. But go easy on me. You'll probably be loads better than me!"
Rin yelled as she rocketed from my doorway, "You're it!"
I jumped up and darted after her.
It was about an hour or so after dark and Rin had fallen asleep already from exhaustion. She had won our game of Tag because I kept getting lost in the hallways.
So, now I was carrying her on my back towards my own room since I had no clue whatsoever as to where to put her.
Sesshomarou came up and noticed Rin on my back.
"She wore herself out. We were playin a game. Oh, and sorry... I nearly fell on Jaken twice. Kept getting underfoot..." I said.
"That is fine. He tends to do so... I'll bring Rin to her chambers. Food has been brought to your own chambers." He said and indicated to my room.
"Uh... alright." I stood Rin up on the floor and Sesshomarou took her hand and walked the half asleep girl down the hall.
I smiled as I went to my room to see an assortment of odd foods on a tray. The only thing I recognized were the green apples, so I ate one of those.
When I finished, I noticed Sesshomarou standing in the doorway.
Trying to keep him from noticing the uneaten food, I quickly said, "Rin's a really great kid."
"Yes. She seems to have taken a liking to you." He replied, and then walked over to a door in my room that I hadn't noticed before.
"This is your bath." He said. He opened the door, revealing a quite roomy bathing room.
"Down the left passage is Rin's room. Across from it is my training area."
My eyes widened. "You train?" I interrupted.
Sesshomarou ignored me for the moment. "Down the right passage is my own room. You have permission to come and go as you wish. If you ever find you do not find this place to your liking, you may leave. Do not take this offering lightly... few have been allowed to even see my home."
I slid down the wall and sat with my face tilted so it was hidden. "Hmmm..."
"What is it?" he asked when he heard me.
"Nothing... I just... there's something about you that reminds me of someone I know... knew... who was dear to me... forget it! I'm just rambling on and on..." I tried to cover what I had just said.
Why did I feel so open around him... it was like it was natural to trust him...
Sesshomarou knelt down beside me and lifted my face with his finger. For a moment he seemed to hesitate, but then I felt him lean forward and press his lips against my own.
My heart skipped a beat and I felt frozen as hundreds of thoughts clouded my thoughts. 'He's kissing me! Holy Shiite Muslim! Sesshomarou of all people...'
When he pulled away, he got up as quickly as possible and turned and left the room.
'Well... that would explain his hospitality...' I thought and touched my lips.
For the next few days I stayed near Sesshomarou's castle. Each morning I woke early to find a tray of fresh fruit in my room. After that I would go just outside the castle to train and practice my change. Then I would return to play with Rin and train some more later. Towards the end of the day I would feed On-Un and exercise them for a bit. The very last thing I would do was go down to Sesshomarou's room and join him for my evening meal.
Thankfully there was more than simply fruit at dinner.
At first, Sesshomarou was gone many nights, so I would dine alone, but after a while he seemed to join me more often.
One evening, when Sesshomarou and I had finished eating, he asked me, "Why are you like that?"
"Like what?" I asked, bewildered.
"Each day, when I see you with Rin, you smile and appear happy... but you don't mean it. It looks like it hurts you to be happy here. Do you not like it here?"
It made my heart stop beating for a second to think that Sesshomarou was actually wondering about me. I could understand Kagome... but this was Sesshomarou! He rarely even spoke, let alone worry about others.
"Because..." I started. "Where I came from... I had been rejected... My mother died when I was small and my father despised me for being a girl. All of the guys I knew in school either abused me or used me to get something else. Guess I just didn't fit their criteria of a proper woman..." I hid my face as I clutched the front of my shirt, trying not to cry.
I couldn't allow him to see me cry. That was the one thing I wouldn't do.
"The only person in my life who showed they really cared was Kagome and... my brother... Dante." I looked up at Sesshomarou. My eyes clouded with a strong impulse to be stronger than I looked. "But I wasn't taught to fall apart or put up with the crap I'm given. I won't run when life throws that curve or when some guy tries to use me... I will keep going... just like Dante would have..."
Sesshomarou's face looked as if it were deep in thought, like he was visiting another memory.
For a few moments we stayed in that obscure silence. Finally I got enough nerve to ask the question that had pestered me since my arrival.
"Sesshomarou?"
He looked back up, forgetting whatever it was.
"What happened? What made you build that wall... that illusion around your heart? Why won't you let anyone get near you?"
His face became solemn and he looked away.
"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have brought it up!" I quickly said.
"No... it's alright. It started when I was young... merely a young teen for a hanyou.
Flashback
Sesshomarou walked down the hallway to see a light on in one of the rooms. It was the room that had become his half-brother's... Inu Yasha. Inu Yasha become his brother had not affected him. It was the fact that Inu Yasha's mother had come here to take the place of his own mother. About three years ago his own mother had died from unknown causes. Then, not even a year later, his father showed up with some mortal and their child.
At the moment, Inu Yasha was jumping around his room, displaying clumsy sneak attacks on his toys.
Sesshomarou walked in and the two and a half year old immediately caught his scent.
Inu Yasha turned around growling but stopped when he saw it wasn't another maid attempting to bathe him. He dropped the toy he had been chewing the leg from and went over to Sesshomarou, putting his arms in the air as a signal he wanted picked up.
After looking around to make sure no one was looking, Sesshomarou piched up the anxious half-hanyou.
Inu Yasha hugged him tightly around his neck and whispered into his ear, "You're da best big brudder, sechomaruu. I wanna be like yuu." (Considering he had knocked four of his teeth out earlier, that wasn't half bad.)
Sesshomarou could see why his father so adored the half-breed. But how in seven hells could that make him forget about him? After all, he was his father's oldest son and heir to his leadership over the hanyou tribe.
Sesshomarou was snapped out of his thoughts as Inu Yasha yawned and rubbed his eyes. Sesshomarou could tell he was tired but reluctant to go to sleep.
So, softly that only Inu Yasha would hear... he started to whisper a song. If you listened very carefully though, it went:
'Dear little young one,
Why must I try?
I wish to despise you, but never can, so...
Rest your eyes without worry, for I will be here.
I will protect you from all that you fear.
So, sleep little young one,
For underneath my mask will still be my care.
Sleep, little young one, I'll stay beside you.
Remember this and do not forget your lullaby,
So, while you sleep, rest easy, for I will be there.'
When he had finished his song, Inu Yasha had already fallen asleep in his arms.
Sesshomarou put him in the nest of shredded cloth that had once been Inu Yasha's bed before he devoured it.
He blew out the candles as a realization hit him. Now matter how hard he tried, he couldn't force himself to despise Inu Yasha. He may have fooled his father... but he cared about his half-brother. Half-breed or not. Even when he took all of his father's attention. He still cared.
He couldn't allow others to find that he, the Great Sesshomarou, had even a vague compassion towards a half-breed. He would have to pretend to despise him. It was the only way.
Then, when he stood in the doorway, he whispered, "Don't worry though, little one. I will only pretend. Whether you come to realize it or not... all I will be doing is protecting you."
1st person pov, Karou
"So, why do you always try to kill Inu Yasha then? Why don't you just tell him?" I asked curiously.
Sesshomarou smiled as he responded. "If I ever tried to tell him the truth, do you think he would believe me? And I may seem like I'm trying to kill Inu Yasha... I could have done that long ago... I've merely been delaying him. If I had allowed him to fight Narraku earlier on, he would have died. Also, I've been strengthening him. With each battle, I use a little more strength against him, strengthening him."
I smiled and simply said, "So, you've been putting on an act, huh? That's why you remind me of him..."
"Who?" he asked.
"Dante. He couldn't admit it in front of his friends, but when it was just us... he really would do anything for me."
I got up to leave when I stopped, "Hey, why are you trusting me? Why me?"
Sesshomarou thought for a moment. "I'm not exactly sure."
I went over and hugged Sesshomarou tightly.
"Oh, and I know you've tried it before, but why don't you try to use a human arm to replace your missing one. It may be weak, but you could always use and enchantment. Besides, it would be easier to hug me with two arms!" I laughed and went to me room after that. I fell asleep gazing at the nearly full moon.
'I wonder what it will be like...' I thought. 'I'm going to have my first real change tomorrow night...'
Campsite, 3rd pov
Inu Yasha awoke with a start. He had had that dream again.
For some reason, he had dreamt of a soothing voice singing to him. He was still a kid in his dream. He was about three or so, and was being held by someone.
He had had the very same dream since the time Karou had stormed off into the forest.
Now that he thought about it, he could have let her explain. For all he knew, she could have laid down to rest in a spot Sesshomarou had been earlier.
Inu Yasha remembered Kagome yelling at him about how Karou had had a tough life and he should be kinder. When he asked what had been so bad about it, she said that it bothered Karou to the point that she didn't even talk to her about it.
Well, it was too late now. It had been nearly two months since then.
Inu Yasha looked down at Kagome and wondered from thoughts of Karou to thoughts of Kagome and Kikyo. Who would he choose? He had sworn to die for Kikyo as she had for him, but how could he do that to Kagome after all she had done for him? He wasn't sure. How could anyone understand how torn in two this made him feel?
WG-Hey! What do you think? The very last sentence will help to understand the title better latter. Well, PLEASE GIVE REVIEWS! Updating as soon as possible. Well, good-bye! waves C'mon Kouga, Sesshy! Let's go play a game!
(Kouga-What KIND of game...)
(Karou-Pervert! C'mon Sesshy... let's go find the others... pervert... sounds more like Miroku...)
(Sesshomarou-Idiot...)