Chapter 7
Vince sat in his car outside the house drumming his fingers against the steering wheel; he had come home shortly after Shane had left the office. Vince couldn't stop thinking about what his son had said, he knew Shane was right, he had known he was close to losing Linda for weeks now but as normal, he decided to ignore it and now it was coming to the crisis point.
He took a deep breath and got out of the car and walked slowly up to the house, he let himself in and immediately heard the sound of a baby crying. He wrinkled his brow in confusion and followed the noise to the nursery; he walked in and saw Linda changing Declan's diaper.
"I didn't know Declan was staying tonight."
Linda jumped as she heard his voice. "Vince, I didn't hear you come in, you scared me."
Vince looked apologetic, "sorry."
"Well, Shane came round earlier and Declan had fallen asleep in the crib so I told him I'd look after him tonight and drop him off in the morning."
Vince nodded, "I had a visit from Shane too."
Linda raised her eyebrows. "You did?" She said as she rocked Declan in her arms, who was slowly falling back to sleep.
"Yep, after all these years he's finally told me what a first class prick I am." Vince looked down. "I'm sorry for the way I treat you Lin."
She swallowed the lump in her throat back down as she rested Declan in the crib; Vince hadn't called her that for years.
She walked out of the nursery and through to their bedroom as Vince followed.
"Despite how I might act, I do love you and I hope you can believe me." Vince sat on the bed and suddenly looked like an old man, his frame sagged and he looked at the floor.
Linda sat next to him. "I love you too and it really kills me to see you like this day after day. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."
Vince shrugged his shoulder's not knowing what to say. "I want to tell you but I don't even know what's wrong myself, I don't know what to do." He said sadly.
"I know you'll say no but won't you go and see someone, a therapist or something that can maybe help you?"
Vince shook his head defiantly. "No, I am not going to some quack who tells me my difficulties are being caused from some pathetic childhood memory that I've repressed!" Vince said angrily. She had asked him about this before and he always refused, he had always said he had sorted out on his own his childhood demons and he reckoned he could sort these current problems out by himself too.
"Vince you have been trying to sort this mess out for the past ten years and you still can't do it, I've tried to help you and the kids have tried to help you and we can't reach you. Please go to someone, let them help you, go for me." Linda said, pleading desperately with him.
Vince looked at her and slowly shook his head. "No, not even for you, I'm sorry and I love you but no, I'm not going to someone who charges me to tell them my problems, besides I don't even know what they are."
"That's where they can help Vince, they can help you sort through it." Linda had tears in her eyes she was close to the edge.
"No!" Vince said firmly.
Linda got up and went over to the window, knowing that she had to tell him the truth now; he had to know everything of what she was thinking and feeling, perhaps then he'd know how desperate she was.
"I can't go on like this Vince, I have tried so hard over the years I really have but I can't go on like this much longer."
"What are you saying?" Vince looked at her; she had her back to him.
"I'm saying that we have tried everything else apart from professional help, it's the only option left and if you won't accept it then we'll continue to live like this for the rest of our days and I can't and am not prepared to do it." The tears fell as she said the words.
"So in other words, get help or we're finished, right?" Vince said trying to control his voice.
Linda turned round to face him. "If you want to put an ultimatum like that on it then yeah, I guess I am because I have tried everything I know to help you Vince but you seem to be beyond my help, someone who is trained in this kind of thing is the only one who can save you now."
Vince shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry Lin, I can't."
Linda's breath caught in her throat and she let out a sob as she went to sit beside him again. "Then I'm sorry Vince, but I have to go because I can't live like this anymore." Linda felt like her insides were being ripped apart, she slowly closed her eyes and took some deep breaths
Vince looked at her and he looked lost, like a child, shocked at her words, he knew they were coming but it didn't stop them cutting through him like a knife. "Please don't leave me."
"I have too, for my own sanity. If you agree to go to get help then I'll stay." Linda looked at the floor, she felt like she was going to be sick, after all these years, she had finally said it.
Vince shook his head as he gently cried. "I can't Lin but I love you, don't leave me."
"And I love you but I can't live in a miserable, painful existence for the rest of my life, not any more." Linda looked at him with pity, he sounded like a child. She had put so much effort into their relationship over the past few years but she couldn't do it anymore, it was draining her.
"I'm sorry I've hurt you so much." He said, looking at her, they were both freely crying, they knew their time had come to an end.
"Vince I'm hurt, yes. But I don't think you've hurt anyone in this family as much as you've hurt yourself." She said slowly, he was beyond help, she had tried desperately but had failed and she wasn't even sure that a professional could help him now. "As corny as it sounds Vince, I will always love you and I'll forever have a special place in my heart for you."
Vince looked at her and nodded. "Me too."
They looked at each other for a couple of seconds and Linda gently moved closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll love you forever and I hope that one day, you'll be able to come out of this."
Vince cried, he had finally lost her and he knew it. Linda gently put her arms around him and drew him to her, she held him there for what seemed like hours as he sobbed and the tears fell from her eyes. They clung on to one another like children and cried, they cried for each other, they cried for themselves, they cried for the memories they had created over the years but most of all they cried for the intense love they once shared and the fact that 40 glorious years together had finally come to a bitter and painful end.
Vince sat in his car outside the house drumming his fingers against the steering wheel; he had come home shortly after Shane had left the office. Vince couldn't stop thinking about what his son had said, he knew Shane was right, he had known he was close to losing Linda for weeks now but as normal, he decided to ignore it and now it was coming to the crisis point.
He took a deep breath and got out of the car and walked slowly up to the house, he let himself in and immediately heard the sound of a baby crying. He wrinkled his brow in confusion and followed the noise to the nursery; he walked in and saw Linda changing Declan's diaper.
"I didn't know Declan was staying tonight."
Linda jumped as she heard his voice. "Vince, I didn't hear you come in, you scared me."
Vince looked apologetic, "sorry."
"Well, Shane came round earlier and Declan had fallen asleep in the crib so I told him I'd look after him tonight and drop him off in the morning."
Vince nodded, "I had a visit from Shane too."
Linda raised her eyebrows. "You did?" She said as she rocked Declan in her arms, who was slowly falling back to sleep.
"Yep, after all these years he's finally told me what a first class prick I am." Vince looked down. "I'm sorry for the way I treat you Lin."
She swallowed the lump in her throat back down as she rested Declan in the crib; Vince hadn't called her that for years.
She walked out of the nursery and through to their bedroom as Vince followed.
"Despite how I might act, I do love you and I hope you can believe me." Vince sat on the bed and suddenly looked like an old man, his frame sagged and he looked at the floor.
Linda sat next to him. "I love you too and it really kills me to see you like this day after day. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."
Vince shrugged his shoulder's not knowing what to say. "I want to tell you but I don't even know what's wrong myself, I don't know what to do." He said sadly.
"I know you'll say no but won't you go and see someone, a therapist or something that can maybe help you?"
Vince shook his head defiantly. "No, I am not going to some quack who tells me my difficulties are being caused from some pathetic childhood memory that I've repressed!" Vince said angrily. She had asked him about this before and he always refused, he had always said he had sorted out on his own his childhood demons and he reckoned he could sort these current problems out by himself too.
"Vince you have been trying to sort this mess out for the past ten years and you still can't do it, I've tried to help you and the kids have tried to help you and we can't reach you. Please go to someone, let them help you, go for me." Linda said, pleading desperately with him.
Vince looked at her and slowly shook his head. "No, not even for you, I'm sorry and I love you but no, I'm not going to someone who charges me to tell them my problems, besides I don't even know what they are."
"That's where they can help Vince, they can help you sort through it." Linda had tears in her eyes she was close to the edge.
"No!" Vince said firmly.
Linda got up and went over to the window, knowing that she had to tell him the truth now; he had to know everything of what she was thinking and feeling, perhaps then he'd know how desperate she was.
"I can't go on like this Vince, I have tried so hard over the years I really have but I can't go on like this much longer."
"What are you saying?" Vince looked at her; she had her back to him.
"I'm saying that we have tried everything else apart from professional help, it's the only option left and if you won't accept it then we'll continue to live like this for the rest of our days and I can't and am not prepared to do it." The tears fell as she said the words.
"So in other words, get help or we're finished, right?" Vince said trying to control his voice.
Linda turned round to face him. "If you want to put an ultimatum like that on it then yeah, I guess I am because I have tried everything I know to help you Vince but you seem to be beyond my help, someone who is trained in this kind of thing is the only one who can save you now."
Vince shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry Lin, I can't."
Linda's breath caught in her throat and she let out a sob as she went to sit beside him again. "Then I'm sorry Vince, but I have to go because I can't live like this anymore." Linda felt like her insides were being ripped apart, she slowly closed her eyes and took some deep breaths
Vince looked at her and he looked lost, like a child, shocked at her words, he knew they were coming but it didn't stop them cutting through him like a knife. "Please don't leave me."
"I have too, for my own sanity. If you agree to go to get help then I'll stay." Linda looked at the floor, she felt like she was going to be sick, after all these years, she had finally said it.
Vince shook his head as he gently cried. "I can't Lin but I love you, don't leave me."
"And I love you but I can't live in a miserable, painful existence for the rest of my life, not any more." Linda looked at him with pity, he sounded like a child. She had put so much effort into their relationship over the past few years but she couldn't do it anymore, it was draining her.
"I'm sorry I've hurt you so much." He said, looking at her, they were both freely crying, they knew their time had come to an end.
"Vince I'm hurt, yes. But I don't think you've hurt anyone in this family as much as you've hurt yourself." She said slowly, he was beyond help, she had tried desperately but had failed and she wasn't even sure that a professional could help him now. "As corny as it sounds Vince, I will always love you and I'll forever have a special place in my heart for you."
Vince looked at her and nodded. "Me too."
They looked at each other for a couple of seconds and Linda gently moved closer to him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I'll love you forever and I hope that one day, you'll be able to come out of this."
Vince cried, he had finally lost her and he knew it. Linda gently put her arms around him and drew him to her, she held him there for what seemed like hours as he sobbed and the tears fell from her eyes. They clung on to one another like children and cried, they cried for each other, they cried for themselves, they cried for the memories they had created over the years but most of all they cried for the intense love they once shared and the fact that 40 glorious years together had finally come to a bitter and painful end.