And when you were ten

We didn't like each other

The summer I turned thirteen, Rory and I had some of our worst battles, it was in every sense a "hot" summer. Well, maybe not in every sense, we were ten and thirteen, but hot in terms of temper and temperature alike.

I remember the day it began, it was a day in early July. Rory and I would usually go down to the old bridge to read. That day she was reading Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead and I was absorbed in Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises. We sat against the tree, in companionable silence reading silently enjoying the warmth, the quiet, and the security of each other.

I recall thinking that day life couldn't get better than this. I was reading my favorite book with my best friend even if Rory was three years younger than I was and we both had a secure home to go to. Life was good and an event I thought would make it better, amost tore it apart.

Rory's voice broke into my thoughts. "Jess!" she whined. "What do I have to do to get you to stop writing in my books?"

"Read better authors," I replied. I hated Ayn Rand.

"That all ready happened. Ayn Rand if fascinating," she told me.

"Depressing," I countered. "You should read Hemingway."

"Boring," she argued. "I fell asleep reading that stupid book you made me read last week. I got sunburn and I peeled."

"That was The Old Man and the Sea. That can be a tough swallow," I relented. "You should try A Farewell to Arms. That's a great read."

Rory shrugged. "Only if you give On the Night of January 16th another try," she bargained.

"Is that the play where the audience is the jury?" I asked. Ayn Rand did some weird stuff with her work.

"Yeah. Stars Hollow High did it last year remember?" she asked.

"Of course I remember," I sighed. "You made me go all three nights."

"Well we were trying to get Mom and Luke together, so it's okay," Rory defended.

"I am so glad they patched things up this spring," I sighed. "For awhile there I was afraid I'd have to…"

That was when I saw her. Miss Anna Teresa Benadetto, the most gorgeous girl I'd seen, well, ever. I'd never seen her before, so at first impression I didn't know her name, but I knew I wanted to know it. Rory's elbowing me made me realize I stopped mid-sentence.

"What?" she asked. "Afraid you'd have to…"

"Oh, nothing," I sighed. "Finish your book. I'll be right back."

I earmarked my page, something I rarely did and moved to catch up with the princess. She wasn't far and I could see she was a bit lost in her new surroundings.

"Hey," I called out to her. "You need some help?"

"Hi," she smiled. "Do you know where Doose's Market is? My Mom asked me to get a few things she forgot."

"Oh, Doose's is right in the center of town," I told her. "I'll show you if you like."

She smiled a full beautiful smile, braces free, unlike so many girls my age. "I would," she replied. "I'm Anna. Anna Teresa Benadetto."

"Jess Mariano," I replied. "Pleasure to meet you."

She smiled again, "Let's go."

Anna and I took the short cut to Doose's around the back of the Independence Inn. I thought she'd enjoy the view. We talked all the way to the market, about everything. I told her I lived in New York until I was seven, and that I now lived with my aunt and uncle. I didn't tell her why but I only knew her twenty minutes. She told me about her father's insurance firm and how he got transferred a lot, this time to Hartford. Before I knew it we were at the market.

"Well, here you are," I said. "Doose's Market. Can you find you…" I began then offered, "Can I walk you home?"

She accepted so I waited for her to get her items then escorted her around Stars Hollow pointing out important signs all the way.

That was how it started. I'd seen Anna and completely forgot about Rory at the bridge. Of course, being the hormonal thirteen year old I was I didn't notice that until suppertime when I got home.

"Uncle Luke! Aunt Lorelai!" I called out. "I'm home."

Both my aunt and uncle came out of the kitchen, anger clear in their stance and facial expression. "What?" I asked wondering what Taylor or Alan would accuse me of now.

"What did you do today, Jess?" Aunt Lorelai asked me.

"Not much. Read, went for a walk, showed the new girl around Stars Hollow…"I listed off.

"Did you go to the bridge today Jess?" Uncle Luke asked. "Think. Did you maybe forget something?"

Then I remembered I'd left Rory at the bridge, "Oh crap," I sighed and turned to go and get her.

"Don't bother ," Aunt Lorelai cut me off. "She's home. She's up in her room."

"I should go apologize," I sighed. "It's just…"

"Go!" They both said in unison. I let out a sigh and headed for Rory's room.

I knocked on the closed door before I went in, a habit I developed after Rory and I had an unfortunate encounter this past winter. Its not like the rose bloomed or anything but Rory got a bit self conscious around me when my voice started to change, so now we knocked.

"Rory, it's Jess," I called out. "Open the door!"

She didn't and I heard no movement to open it either. So I tried again, "Rory! Rory, I'm sorry. Open the door, please."

It went on like that a few more minutes until finally she came and opened the door.

I could tell right away that I was in really big trouble. Rory had been crying, her eyes were red, her cheeks stained with tears. "You left me at the bridge!" she shouted. "I didn't know what happened to you. I thought…"

"Rory, I'm sorry," I told her sincerely and moved to hold her in my arms, running my hand through her hair. "I just got sidetracked and…" There was no good way to say this. I had done something I never wanted to do I'd hurt Rory, and somewhere in my head I'd made the conscious decision to hurt her. I deemed someone else move important.

To fully understand that one has to understand my relationship with Rory. It's unique, because while my uncle is married to her mother we are not brother and sister or even cousins, but since I moved to Stars Hollow I'd treated her like a sister, protected her like a brother, she was special to me and I vowed I'd pay her back for her unconditional admiration. Now, though that was changing, I was changing, growing up, and a spunky kid no matter how much I loved her was not enough for me anymore.

"There's no excuse," I finally said. "I screwed up and I am sorry."

For any other ten year old that would be enough, but not for Rory. "You said you were sidetracked."

"Yeah, there's…" Rory knew my lying face so well; there was no use in trying. "There's this new girl in town and I was showing her around. I just…"

"Forgot about me. You forgot all about me!" She accused. I couldn't deny it was true.

"I'm sorry, Rory!" I replied more harshly than I intended to.

"So what you have a girlfriend now so you can forget all about me?" She was really starting to yell now.

"No, Rory God, you're acting like a spoiled…" I caught my self before I did something I'd regret. I tried another tactic. "Look, Rory did you think I'd never have anyone else to hang out with? I like hanging out with you. You're a cool kid, but I'm a man now. I'm going to have a life I can't spend all my time hanging out with a sixth grader."

In retrospect, that came out so badly Rory had every right to get angry at me and hate me, but at the time my thirteen year old head was filled with thoughts of glorious conquest and status, getting a girl, a great looking girl for 12 before anyone else. It would be the first time I'd have a chance to be Jess Mariano. Not Luke Danes' nephew, not Lorelai Gilmore's charge, but myself. With Ann I'd have no past, I wanted that so much it clouded my head.

The look on Rory's face couldn't have been worse if I raised my hand and slapped her. Tears leaked out of her eyes but she could still find her voice ready to accuse me, to defend herself. "Wow!" She said. "That…get out of my room, Jess!" she yelled throwing Colonel Clucker, the stuffed chicken I bought her when I was just seven and moved into this house. Next came a Mother Goose First edition, the The Old Man and the Sea. All the while yelling at me.

"God, Rory, grow up!" I yelled in between the random flying objects.

Before more could be said, Uncle Luke and Aunt Lorelai came in, "Rory! Jess!" Her voice snapped us to attention. 'To y our corners."

Rory moved to her bed and sat down on it with her arms crossed. I moved closer to the door, as far away from her as I could possibly get.

"What's going on in here?" Uncle Luke asked sternly arms folded across his chest.

"Jess left me in the park," Rory began.

"I said I was sorry about that," I defended. "But she's acting like a little brat!"

"Hey!" Uncle Luke stopped me. "No name call is still a rule in this house. Use your words."

"I have a few words I could use," I snapped, getting angry at everyone. "Snotty, spoiled, selfish, little…" The next word was muffled by Uncle Luke's hand.

"Okay, that's it," Lorelai said. "Jess upstairs to your room now. Wait for me. Rory, wash your face and wait for Luke in our room."

I stormed upstairs as soon as she said that and up to my room and flopped on my bed. I turned on my stereo, The Clash of course.

I all ready felt bad about what I said to Rory. I never could control my temper, especially where she was concerned. One good thing though, we always made up in short order.

Aunt Lorelai opened my door after a knock and turned off my music. I felt the mattress dip under her weight and sat up on my bed. "What happened today Jess?" she asked me. "This behavior is not like you and it's not like Rory."

"She's just…she's being so childish and selfish…"

Lorelai sighed. "She is a child, Jess, and you left her by herself for hours."

"I know and I felt..I feel bad about that, but…"I blushed thinking about it.

Aunt Lorelai always was very perceptive. The blush gave me away, "Ah it's a girl. You're interested in a girl."

I nodded. "Yeah. We were reading at the bridge, me and Rory, and I saw that new girl that moved to town. Before I even thought about it I asked her where she was going. She said Doose's and I showed her around and…"

"And before you knew it you forgot all about Rory at the bridge," she finished. "Who is this girl?"

"Anna Benadetto, her dad is in insurance," I replied.

"Oh, she just moved in on Cherry Street. I met her mother at Luke's today. Nice lady," Aunt Lorelai said. "So you like this Anna?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know her that well, but I really liked being with her. She was nice and pretty and I don't know."

"That may be more Luke's department than mine, but Jess you are coming to an age where you're going to be interested in girls and dating. You are growing up and you are ultimately going to want to spend less time hanging out with Rory and more time with girls and guys your own age," Aunt Lorelai said. "But what happened today Jess, is not okay. You can't expect Rory to adjust like that, you have to talk to her and ease her into this."

"Is there a point to this conversation?" I asked, more snottily than I intended. She should have been ripping me a new one.

"The point is Jess, the girlfriends you have in high school are a dime a dozen, but the relationships you've had all your life, Uncle Luke, Rory, me, your little cousin," she patted her stomach, "we are always going to be here. You can't alienate us. Not for someone you hardly know."

I knew she was right, but I was thirteen and stubborn. "This is my fault?" I shot out. "Rory's the one who started throwing things and carrying on like a lunatic and this is my fault?"

Aunt Lorelai sighed, "It's not your fault, Jess. But Rory, she loves you. She idolized you and for six year you two have been inseparable. You can't just cut those ties in one night, kid. And I know she was getting out of hand down there, and I'm sure Uncle Luke is dealing with that, but you messed up too, kid."

She paused for a moment then continued. "Things are going to change, Jess as you grow up. You need to give Rory a chance to adjust to that and not by yelling at her or name calling. Make her feel secure, let her know while things may change, she'll still be a part of your life. And I'll make sure she understand she has to give you more time on your own."

I sighed and nodded. "I never should have left, but forgetting was an accident. And I never should have said all of those things I said down there. I'm sorry, Aunt Lorelai." I truly was.

She slid off the bed. "I'm not the one to tell. Give Luke a few more minutes, calm yourself down, and I'll see you downstairs."

Rory and I made up that night but the rest of the summer was an ongoing war. She was as jealous of Anna as I was protective of her. Aunt Lorelai and Uncle Luke gave up trying to mediate us and Aunt Lorelai actually started referring to that summer as the Gilmore-Mariano War of 1994.

I didn't like Rory much, that summer she was ten, but still, I never stopped loving her.