A/N: For Malory, my angel of music. Never stop singing.
4: Shattered Innocence (circa 1843)
As a child, humility had never been Selene's strong suit. She couldn't count how many times her parents had shouted themselves hoarse because she would run around their home in only her undergarments. When she became older and started to develop into a young woman, Selene had gained some sense of modesty, but still went around in nothing but a slip if she got the chance. If it had been up to her, she would have gone stark-naked all day long.
But now, sitting nude in a bathtub with Kraven staring down at her, Selene couldn't imagine ever thinking like that.
Kraven's eyes were that same brilliant blue color that Viktor's eyes had been when Selene first saw him. He wouldn't look away from her. He was breathing quickly and his hair and clothes were disheveled. Selene watched with distress as Kraven's eyes snaked over her body, stopping at crucial points.
A few seconds dragged on into what seemed like hours, until finally Selene muttered under her breath, "Kraven, I'm naked." Her voice seemed to wake him from his stupor and he shook his head vigorously, then turned and covered his face with one hand, pulling the curtains of the bathtub partially shut.
"I…I…" he tried. The words didn't seem to come. Selene slid out of her bath, hiding behind the curtain as best she could, and grabbed a large towel to wrap around herself as she stood near the edge. Kraven chanced a glance over his shoulder, probably hoping to see Selene's bare form again, and once he saw that Selene was covered he turned to face her. "Where is Viktor?" he asked urgently.
"I don't know," Selene said with a frown. "He left only a little while---" Selene glanced at the large grandfather clock on the wall and blinked in surprise. It was almost three. She had soaked in the tub for hours. Thinking that that was an awfully long time for Viktor to be gone, she looked back at Kraven. "Why? Is something wrong?"
Kraven looked livid. He made a move toward Selene and she backed away instinctively. For a moment, a strange look crossed Kraven's face; it was a mixture of anger, despair, and arrogance. His eyes flashed and he grinned wickedly at her. But he backed off, saying, "I…I must speak with him about a pressing matter. I apologize for interrupting your bath."
He turned and began to walk away. Selene, much to her disgust, couldn't help but notice Kraven's obvious arousal as he left the room.
Selene's sleep was fitful the next day. She was plagued by nightmares of Kraven, and she finally woke up around five in the evening. I'm not going to get back to sleep, she decided, and climbed out of her bed. Selene got dressed and walked to her mirror, giving herself a once-over. Her bruises from last night's training were already gone. She didn't even look tired, although she felt it. She couldn't get Kraven out of her head.
Damn him, she thought bitterly. Then she flashed a smile at herself in the mirror. "I'll pretend Vann's face is Kraven's," she said. She turned and walked to her bedroom door and unlocked it, then pulled it open. She was surprised to see Viktor standing there.
"Good evening, Selene," he smiled at her.
"Viktor," Selene said quietly, and hugged him. He patted her head and pushed her back, then looked into her eyes. Selene thought about telling Viktor about Kraven's intrusion. She opened her mouth to explain the previous night's events, but then closed it again. Viktor didn't seem to notice. Selene wondered where he had been the night before and why Kraven had been looking for him, then she wondered why she didn't want to tell him about Kraven. Viktor's voice pulled her from her thoughts.
"You will not be training until later tonight," he said tersely.
"What?" Selene objected. "Why?" She couldn't hide the pout in her tone.
"Because you will be taught etiquette instead." Viktor replied. He put an arm around Selene's shoulders and led her into the hall, walking toward an eastern wing that Selene hadn't explored. Selene looked up at her sire with a frown.
"But I already know all about etiquette," she complained. "My Lord, please, I want to go and train. Kahn is expecting me!"
"Not tonight." Viktor said, and Selene knew the conversation was finished. She stared at the elegant carpet. Inside her head she went over every curse word she knew and even wished that she wasn't too old to throw a fit. Viktor led her through Ordoghaz with the air of a proud parent, nodding at the bowing vampires as he passed them. Selene continued to sulk.
Why should I learn about etiquette? Etiquette won't avenge my family. I want to fight!
Viktor finally stopped at a large oak door with intricate silver handles. He gestured to it and pushed Selene forward. She gave him a pleading look and said, "Must I?"
"Yes, you must." said Viktor. "Fighting lycans will come another night." Selene sighed. It seemed that Viktor wouldn't let her back out of this. She grabbed one of the silver handles and pushed the door open, stepping inside of an almost-empty room. There was a small table in the center, with two chairs on opposite sides. There were two other doors that Selene could see. Aside from a few chairs in one corner and a bookshelf with less than a dozen books near the door, that was it. Selene let her eyes go over everything for a few seconds before whirling to face Viktor once more.
"Please, Viktor---" she tried. But he shook his head sternly, his brow furrowing. Selene frowned, then nodded and turned. As she stepped further into the room, a woman came from one of the doors. The woman had red hair and wore a long, crushed velvet dress that was a dark violet color, almost black. She wore a necklace made of a tiny black chain and a little crest with a ruby in the center. She smiled warmly at Selene, her fangs glistening.
"Ah, Viktor's favorite," she said, not unkindly. The woman walked forward briskly, eyeing Selene up and down. She clapped her slender hands together. "Yes, good. I see what everyone is talking about. You are beautiful. Simply gorgeous. Just look at you."
Selene would have blushed, were she still a mortal. The woman looked over Selene's head and smiled at Viktor. "Thank you, my Lord. I will take it from here." The Elder left, and the woman smiled at Selene again. "I know that you do not want to be here, Selene. I see it in your face. But learning the proper ways of being a vampire is just as important as learning to kill savage beasts." She turned and walked to the table. Selene followed, slightly cautious. Viktor was still the only vampire she truly trusted in Ordoghaz. The older vampiress turned to Selene and said quickly, "My name is Lilith."
"Hello," Selene said, a little coldly. Lilith smiled at her.
"You are a smart girl. Come, sit." She gestured to one of the chairs. Selene sat, lifting her chin defiantly. Lilith sat across from her, folding her slender hands together and resting them on the tabletop. Her eyes were a dark, emerald green color and she looked directly at Selene with a small smile on her lips. Selene refused to lower her own gaze. Lilith's smile faded quickly. "I know that you are Viktor's choice, Selene, but he is not the only one you must respect. I am nearly as old as Viktor is, so it would be very wise of you to be a little more cooperative."
Selene frowned, but lowered her gaze anyway. "Yes, my Lady," she said.
"Please," Lilith said, her voice friendly again, "no need to be so formal. Now, where to begin? Has Viktor taken you out to hunt yet?"
Selene looked up. "Hunt?" she asked.
"Ah." Lilith said with a nod. "I suppose not. How many days ago were you turned?"
"Six," Selene answered, then added, "I think."
"Viktor must have fed you while you were still adjusting. You arrived at Ordoghaz three days ago, yes? You must be getting hungry by now." Even as Lilith said it, Selene felt her stomach rumble with hunger. Lilith smiled. "As I suspected. Well, then, that will be our first lesson for tonight."
"We…we're actually going to hunt people for food?" Selene said, a little afraid. She wasn't sure she could kill a person. Another horrible sin. Lycans were another story. But a human?
Lilith threw her head back and laughed. It was a beautiful sound that reminded Selene of her mother. Lilith grinned at the younger vampiress and said, "No, my dear, not humans. We haven't been allowed to hunt humans for ages. Cattle and horses and sheep…livestock, that is what we have been reduced to. Animal blood. Of course, it's nothing like a human. Fear makes their blood taste so…" At the horrified look on Selene's face, Lilith smiled sympathetically. "You're still not used to the change."
"Blood?" Selene said weakly. "I have to drink blood?"
"As I said, Viktor probably fed you during your first days as a vampire." Lilith explained patiently. "And you will have to eat soon, especially if you're going to become a Death Dealer. A vampire who doesn't feed for a long time becomes little more than a mummified corpse." Lilith laughed again when Selene's face contorted with disgust. Then she stood up. "Come, dear. We'll get you a traveling cloak and we'll take a trip into Budapest."
Selene remained where she was. "I don't want to go to Budapest," she said, her voice a little shaky. "I don't want to…drink blood. I just want to stay here."
Lilith's face softened. She walked over to Selene's chair and knelt beside her, placing a gentle hand on Selene's arm. "My dear girl, you have been given the gift of immortal life. But there are consequences. Viktor has already taught you about our curse when it comes to the rays of the sun. Another aspect of our being is that we must drink blood. You are still controlled by your human mind, Selene."
Selene stiffened. "I do not want to go to Budapest."
"Please. If you want to survive."
"I'm not going."
"Selene, I don't want to have to force you."
"I'm not going!" Selene yelled, jerking to her feet. She shoved her chair away from the table and shook Lilith away from her. Selene turned and began to walk toward the door, her heart pounding in her chest. She had never wanted this; the need to kill innocent things, the need to drink the life essence of another creature, the need to be a monster. It seemed that Viktor had given her such a wonderful chance. The power to avenge her family and to stay young and beautiful forever.
But he had also damned her.
"Selene!" Lilith called forcefully. Her tone made Selene stop. Lilith walked up behind Selene swiftly, anger in her voice. "You will come with be to Budapest. You can either listen to me and we'll leave immediately, or you can face Viktor. He wants me to teach you for a reason, girl. You have to learn these things. As far as the vampires here in Ordoghaz are concerned, you are still a child!"
"I'm not a child." Selene snapped through gritted teeth.
Lilith responded calmly, "Then stop acting like one."
Selene whirled around and glared at Lilith with every ounce of anger she could muster. Lilith merely smiled. Then she stood and walked to one of the room's many doors and pulled it open to reveal a large walk-in closet. Dozens of outfits were displayed, from glittering ball gowns made of silk to simple cotton nightclothes. Lilith reached in and pulled out a black hooded cloak with crimson embroidery along the hemlines. She smiled at it and walked toward Selene, then expertly put it on the younger vampiress. "There. See?"
Selene didn't say anything. Lilith looked at Selene carefully, then reached toward her and brushed some of her hair from her face. Selene jerked at the touch and felt her throat clench. Lilith frowned, looking genuinely sorry, whispering, "Forgive me." Selene looked away, furious.Only my Mother...
"Come along, dear," Lilith said, and walked past Selene toward the door. Hanging her head, Selene followed.
They were standing in the shadows on the outskirts of Budapest. The smell of rain was fast approaching, as were billowing storm clouds. There was a little farmhouse below them. Behind the house was a fenced-in area full of skittish sheep. The sheep milled about, bleating worriedly, either about the storm that was coming or the two predators that were watching them.
Lilith gave Selene a meaningful glance. Selene managed to nod. Her mind was screaming at her that everything about this was wrong. But when Lilith began to walk down the hill, Selene followed. Lilith's cloak swirled about her legs as she walked swiftly toward her prey, an experienced hunter going through the motions. She was like a wizened lioness. Selene, on the other hand, was like the newborn cub.
More than once, Selene stumbled as she walked over the slippery grass. Lilith seemed to float along the ground, never missing a beat. The two vampires reached the bottom of the knoll and began to walk silently toward the penned livestock. The sheep were bleating louder now, but their cries were drowned out by the sound of thunder.
They were standing just outside the fence. Lilith shot Selene another look. Selene's mouth was too dry to say anything. Her stomach grumbled hungrily, but she tried her best to ignore it. Maybe she wouldn't have to drink blood. Surely she wouldn't turn to a corpse overnight.
Lilith climbed over the fence gracefully, then walked toward the nearest of the animals; it was a terrified lamb. The little thing cried out and tried to run away from Lilith, but the vampire was much stronger. Selene's heart began to pound in her chest as Lilith grabbed hold of the lamb and pulled it close to her. Lightning flashed. Selene could see the glistening fangs in Lilith's mouth as she lowered her face toward the lamb's neck. It was still crying. Lilith's fangs plunged into the lamb's flesh, and suddenly it was quiet. Thunder crashed overhead. With her vampiric eyes, Selene could see the crimson blood spilling onto the lamb's fleece. She felt revolted as she watched Lilith drinking. But then the smell hit her.
It was a warm, coppery smell. It was the smell of life, of death. To Selene, it was like every good smell and every horrid stench all mixed together, and she needed it. Her whole body quivered once, then her mouth began to water and her stomach twisted. The blood. She had to have it. She needed to drink it, come hell or high water.
Selene climbed over the fence without even realizing she was doing it. She was driven by the insatiable hunger that she had been cursed with as she walked toward Lilith and knelt in front of her, staring at the dying lamb. She didn't realize it, but her eyes, which were normally such a beautiful chestnut color, were now the same blazing blue of a vampire.
Lilith offered the younger vampiress the shaking lamb, and Selene took it greedily. She bent over and was overwhelmed by the smell of the blood. Her eyes rolled back in her head and every part of her body was pulsing with need. She lowered her head, no longer caring that she was taking the life of an innocent animal. She was no longer aware of her disgust, only her hunger. Any part of her that had once been human was gone now, replaced by a mindless beast. She sank her fangs into the holes Lilith had made in the lamb's flesh, and she drank. The blood spilled into her mouth. She moaned softly, drinking more and more. Lilith said something about not wanting to bleed the lamb dry. She sounded very far away to Selene's ears.
Selene was in ecstacy. Nothing else mattered. Not her family, not Viktor, not the vampires or the lycans. It was only her and her feast. She continued to drink for several minutes. But then the blood stopped coming. Selene whimpered, still hungry, then growled angrily. More! her mind screamed at her.
A strong hand on her shoulder pulled Selene away from the lamb. Lilith's voice still sounded far off but it was coming closer. Selene felt drops of water hitting her. "…to control yourself!" Lilith was saying. Selene's eyes slowly changed to their original chestnut brown as blood dripped down her chin. She breathed heavily, her body tingling with pleasure and pain. She thought that it must have been the same feeling one would have after making love.
"Selene!" Lilith hissed. Selene looked up at her sharply and bared her fangs. Lilith looked fiercely back at her. "Stop it. Control yourself, girl! We must leave." Selene looked back at the lamb. Lilith said, "It's dead now. Come on, we have to get back to Ordoghaz before sunrise." She pulled Selene to her feet. Selene tried to lash out at her, still overcome by the vicious monster inside of her, but Lilith merely slapped Selene's hand away like an irritated mother. "You've had your fill, I can tell. Now come on." She half-dragged Selene from the pen as rain began to pour down heavily. Selene felt full, for the first time in a while, and she felt more alive than she ever had. Colors and shapes stood out more around her. She could smell the rain, the sheep, the sheep's piss, Lilith's perfume and make up, everything. It was as if she'd never really been awake before now.
"You've done well tonight, my dear," Lilith said quietly. Selene could hear her perfectly over the rain. "I'm proud of you. Viktor will be proud of you."
Selene pictured Viktor in her head, thinking, I want my father.
A/N: Because of school, updates will be slower. Thank you so much for reading! -Sara-