"But what?" Kim crossed her arms more from the wind than from the situation.

"But I was always worried that you didn't umm…like me, like me too. Besides, I didn't want to ruin our friendship…" Kim smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Ron, nothing can ruin our friendship, no Drakken or…or even a break up could separate us." Ron wanted to believe it, wanted to believe that his simple words, that slip of hidden honesty was enough to turn her heart to him. But somewhere, a voice, the one that spoke reason told him it just didn't happen that way. Love just doesn't happen like that. This was her loneliness, her desire to run from her hurt speaking. Not her heart. Not her words.

But it never reached him. This dream, this desire in him was so close. Here she was, leaning on his shoulder, her mind on him and no one else. Well he was going to take advantage of it. Ron sighed, a few green leaves fluttering by. After all, when would he ever get the chance if not now? He reached for her hand.

"KP?"

"Yea?"

"I…I love you."

Engineer

Chapter 2

Ron sat slowly on the curb of some nameless street in the city. Regret, he had found, was perhaps one of the hardest things to deal with. He put his head in his hands. It had been a week, but time seemed to move so slow it felt so much longer. Everything did with out her. She never loved him; she never cared and he should have known, should have seen it in her eyes. Every word…and every kiss was a lie; every whispered promise would never come true. His hours daydreaming of their future wasted, his dreams, his hopes and his heart all in vain.

A sob shook him, as his head slipped through his hands, now resting on knees. How could she have done this? Ron had trusted her with all of him, every last part of him, heart, body, and soul. She was the only person in the world he trusted, and she had lied. She led him on to run from her pain and then just…just dropped him as soon as she got the chance. Was that all he was to her? A quick fix? Did his feelings mean nothing? Of course not…and why should they?

All he ever was was a loser anyway.

Kim looked around the mall, none of Monique's words reaching her. Her mind was so far away. They were on happier times spent in these halls. Times spent with someone she had hurt, but Kim forced the thoughts away. This was an attempt to cheer her up, but every happy thought, every happy moment was never without him. God, she missed Ron so much, missed his laugh and his funny words. Missed his warmth…but she knew she'd never be able to face him again, not after she hurt him like that. She could never even tell him how sorry she was.

She had never, ever meant to hurt him like that. A mistake. It was a mistake, and if…if there was a way to make up for it she would. If there were any hope of things being like before she'd give anything, anything to have him back in her life. But she couldn't forget his tears, that—that look on his face. It wasn't like he'd ever trust her again anyway. And why should he? She caused him so much pain. He was probably better off without her now anyway. Kim didn't try to hide her tears from her friend.

One week ago

His lips were still cold from the ice cream. Kim placed her hand on her cheek, watching him dig through his pockets for another token. The boardwalk was always fun to go to with Ron, but it was different now. Everything was different. She watched him play a car racing game. He was so happy, so what was wrong? There was a knot in her stomach more and more these days…a growing hesitation in her words. Why was she feeling almost guilty if nothing was wrong?

There was a lot different about Ron in these past three months that they had been together. He seemed a lot more laid back. Before he would proclaim he didn't care what others thought but would turn around and do stupid stuff like…muscle enhancement and lie in the school newspaper to get attention. But now a days, he seemed so much happier, that smile a little more genuine. But there was something about that fact that struck Kim.

She couldn't fight off a growing sadness in herself when he'd smile at her like that, or when he'd shyly kiss her, or even when he'd say I love you. It felt like guilt and she afraid of the answer in herself. What if she had been mistaken? She cared about Ron so very much, but did she love him, I mean really really love him? Love him like he loved her? Kim swallowed a growing lump in her throat. No, it couldn't be true. She loved him, why would she? He…he was everything she'd ever want, every aspect about him… He looked up and smiled at Kim, asking for more tokens, the continue counting down from ten.

And it hurt. She almost didn't hear his request for the coins, her mind instantly breaking down in denial. When he asked if anything was wrong, she shook her head, offered him a forced smile and handed over the tokens from her pocket, his hand lingering in hers. Why did it hurt so much? If she loved him, why did she feel like she was drowning? Why did she want to run from the arcade? Why did she suddenly want to cry?

Kim didn't love him. Not like he loved her and it was a painful truth. She shakingly told him that she was going to go watch the water and left, hoping he didn't jump from his game to follow her. She didn't want to explain her growing tears. She ran down the wooden stairs leading to the sand, slowing her pace as she fought through the shiftiness under her feet. No one else was on the beach, night quickly settling over the water.

Kim collapsed to her knees, hugging herself, the sound of the waves doing little to sooth the raging in her head, the pain in her heart. How could she tell him? How could she hurt him like that? Ron was happy, truly happy. How could she take that from him? How could he forgive her? If she ever told him, she'd lose him. Forever.

No, she could never say. But…how could she lie to him? She owed him at least her honesty. His touch seemed cold, as he sat next to her, a hand on her shoulder. His words were full of worry, his lips in slow motion. He always was caring, no matter what Ron had always been by her side.

"Ron," she whispered, her eyes on the alabaster sand. "I…" Her chest contracted, this pain and the fear behind it racking her body. Ron pulled her closer, only making it harder and she wanted to stay, want to pretend if not for another moment. They didn't say anything for a time, both watching the water and she wondered if his quietness was him thinking what she was. Wouldn't it…wouldn't it be easier if he just knew? Would it be less painful if the words never needed to leave her lips? He was first to speak, his voice sounding like someone else.

"It's us…isn't it?" If Kim remembered nothing else of this horrible event it was that sentence. It was the pain, the betrayal in his voice. It was the coldness on his skin and the glaze over his eyes. It was the end of his smile…she had killed his happiness and everything was washing away.

Kim didn't respond, her tears now dripping on his arm, which still remained wrapped around her in a protective, loving, and warming embrace. But it felt empty.

"I'm sorry." Kim's words opened a dam of tears for him, but Ron kept his eyes over the water.

"Why? Did…did I do something wrong?" He was trembling now, but Kim couldn't bring herself to face him, to sit up and hold him like she wanted.

"No." She could barely say it, she wanted to throw herself at his feet, to beg for forgiveness and pray, just pray he might still want to be friends. It could never be like before, she had ruined everything. Where was all her strength now?

"Then why?" His voice was louder, confusion, anger, and a sadness Kim had never heard expressed in two words. How could she tell him that she was wrong? That every time she had told him that she loved him…was a lie? She swallowed, sitting up but keeping her back to him.

"I…I was wrong. Ron, I-I don't." There was silence; even the waves went soundless, waiting for Kim to whisper the last part. "I don't love you the way you love me." The silence after that was incredibly painful, incredibly slow. Was he ok? Was he breathing, was he crying, was he even there at all? Slowly Kim turned to see him staring out over the water, face clearly wet from tears. He slowly turned his head to her, the pain in his eyes causing Kim to look away. She scrambled to feet and ran, everything a bit too much.

The next day held a quiet car drive home. Kim watched painfully as he got out of the car once back in Middleton, thanked Mr. and Mrs. Dr. P for inviting him and left. Before he entered his home, he turned his hung head glancing back at Kim before opening his door and walking into the shadows…and out of her life.

And now, as she sat in the mall, wiping her face, she had to face the fact this was all her own fault, that she had tossed it all away, she hurt the one person she cared about most of all. It was only a week and Kim could barely stand it.

"Have you talked to him yet?" Kim blinked, looking away from Monique.

"I can't, Mon. Not after what I've done."

"Girl, if I know Ron he's probably missing you as much as you are him right now. I'm sure he'll find a way to forgive you. What do you say we stop by his place?" Kim turned to Monique.

"What? I-no, that wouldn't—"

"You two need to talk. Look at you, Kim. You haven't smiled once since you two split ways." Kim sighed, knowing arguing against Monique never worked. She'd go, talk for a minuet and go. Not like Ron would want to talk anyway…

Mrs. Stoppable smiled when Ron walked back in, happy to know he was safe, though it was clear he had been crying.

"Are you ok, dear?" He nodded, not bothering to stop on his way to the kitchen. There was a knock and she quickly went for the door, surprised to see Kim behind it. "Hello, Kimberly. Do you want to come in?" Kim shook her head, a little uncomfortable just being there.

"I was wondering…if Ron could come out? I'd. I'd like to talk to him." Mrs. Stoppable nodded.

"I'll go get him," and she closed the door and walked into the kitchen.

"Kim's at the door?" Ron asked, not looking his mother's way, rather paying attention to the sandwich he was making.

"Should I ask her to come back later?" He placed down the butter knife, turning and walking past his mother and towards the door. He opened it, feeling a wave of emotions simply from seeing her face. Night. He breathed in the air while stepping out of the doorway, closing the door. He wanted to do so much, split between anger, sadness and so many other emotions. He decided on the classic.

"Hey, KP." But it held no likeliness to it's former self. It was slow, and a few tones lower.

"Ron I…I was wondering if you'd like to, we could, you know, go to B-Bueno Nacho—"

"And pretend nothing happened?" He heard himself say it, and with mixed feelings watched her cringe, turning away. For a moment he felt guilty, there was clearly a deep sadness in her features. But another part…another part felt good. There was a lot of pain, a lot of anger. After all, after what she did, why shouldn't he make her feel bad? She never cared about him. She lied. She lied.

"I miss you," Kim whispered, still turned away. Ron crossed his arms, leaning against the door.

"Why? Do you need someone to lie to again?" There was a shift; her misting eyes doing little to calm him. There was too much pain to ignore in him. Ron had always been nice, had done all that he could, gave all he could. Kim could hardly believe her ears. Did Ron say that? She turned to him, disbelief in her eyes.

"What?"

"Was everything from day one a lie? Every word you ever said to me?" She reached out for his hand but he moved from her touch.

"Ron, I-I can't ever say how sorry I am. If I could un-do everything I would."

"You would? Why do I not believe that?" Kim threw out her arms.

"God, Ron. I came here to…I want to—I can't do this. I can't stand not, not having you call every hour, not having you with us at dinner, or not having you in my life!"

"Then why did you do that? Why did you lie to me, and lead me on? Was I that pathetic, that you had to pretend to like me?" Pain in Kim was quickly turning into anger; she stepped closer to him, toe to toe.

"I would NEVER lie to you about something like that! I thought you knew me better."

"Yea, I thought I knew you, but I guess not."

"You know what?" Kim turned from him, taking a few steps away, but turned back. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm fucking sorry. If I had known for an instant that this would happen I would have never agreed to go out with you because you, Ron, are." She stopped to swallow, wiping her face clear of tears. "You're the most important person to me. I came here, I came to beg you to forgive me, and I don't blame you for not believing me. I wouldn't believe me either. And don't think for an instant that I ever wanted to hurt you. You will never know hard that has been for me, to know that I caused this to happen."

"Real hard, I'm sure." There was that voice again in the back of his mind, telling him to listen, to back off, to run to her and hug her and tell her it was ok. But again it fell to deaf ears. "It must also be so hard being popular and surrounded by friends. My best, and pretty much only friend IN THE WORLD just used me, lied to me and tossed me aside. By tomorrow I'm sure you'll have a new boyfriend, and a new best friend for you to use. If you don't mind, I've got a Bon-Diggity sandwich to get back to." And with the he opened the door and closed it, never turning back to her.

Why did that feel so wrong? Didn't she deserve that? Did he really want her to leave his life? He opened the door only to find both Kim and Mon's car gone. Slowly he shut it again, sliding down it. What an ass, she came begging, with tears in her eyes. How in the world could he have done that? It was just, he was just so…

He really was a loser. Standing, he wandered into the kitchen, tossing his sandwich back into the refrigerator, appetite long gone. In fact, right now…right now everything felt real far. What was he supposed to do now that he shoved Kim away like that? She'd probably never forgive him for what he said. He walked up the stairs, curling up to an already sleeping mole rat and fell into a restless sleep.

Jao: I wanna thank my friend ClassicCowboy for this one. Got me just the right song to help me write this chapter. When I'm writing, I try to keep things I might wanna say in the author notes in the back of my mind, but when I get here I always forget them.

I can remember clearly being on both ends of this sort of situation, and I find it happens often between friendship to relationship, or at least in my case. Let's hope Ron and Kim can patch things up.