Disclaimer: All Hogwarts characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

Author's Note: If you're dissatisfied with the answer-not-answer to the last question, I'm sorry. In truth, Harry and James were just born that way. The whole Christopher Potter story sounded too cheesy to me to actually be true. Besides, the last bit made it funnier. I think. Anyway, no, Trelawney and McGonagall couldn't go to school together. Mrs. Brice is still on unfortunately still on vacation in the Bahamas, and couldn't be here. (you know I'm just kidding, right?). No, actually, do you realize the age difference between them? It's just not possible. But I found a way to go around it... well, you'll see.

5- Didn't See That Coming

Why does Tralawney have those huge, thick glasses?

"Why did you hire her, Albus?"

"She'll be useful."

"Useful? She can't forsee what she'll be having for dinner, let alone anything important!"

"She will be needed in the time to come. Just try and get along with her, Minerva."

Minerva McGonagall sniffed. Sibyll, the egotistical, annoying new Divination teacher was impossible to "get along" with, in Minerva's case. Albus Dumbledore knew it too, from his slight chuckle.

"If you insist, Albus," sighed Minerva, shaking her head as she stepped from the office in a temper.

Get along with Sibyll indeed! What had Albus been thinking, hiring the mock-seer? Minerva briskly walked out the door and down the spiral steps, and as the gargoyle sprang back to its usual position, Minerva grimly thought that the only way Sibyll would "get along" with her is if she stayed up in her ridiculous tower forever. Just thinking about the room made Minerva stiffen. She'd filled it with flimsy cushions and inscense you could smell miles away. The position wasn't that good, either. Minerva's classroom was in the middle of the school. The Potions classroom was at one corner of the school, as low as you could get. Minerva wasn't too fond of the Potions Masters Hogwarts usually picked up- they were often heads of Slytherin house, and quite fitting for the title. Sibyll's classroom was at the opposite corner of the school, as high as the towers went. So Minerva was comfortably an equal distance from both, which miffed her somehow, though she didn't know which of the classrooms were worse.

All these thoughts about teachers had brought Minerva to the staffroom, which she opened- to find Sibyll Trelawney.

"Minerva!" she said in a watery, dramatic voice. "The fates are not with you, this day."

"How terrible for me," said Minerva dryly, hoping if she agreed, Sibyll would go away.

She didn't. "My dear, it is advisable for you to get a more detailed reading, so you can learn exactly what to avoid..."

"No, thanks," said Minerva, starting to get a headache.

"No, dear, you really should. Let's see, ooh, avoid the fourth classroom in the dungeons..."

The potions room? "Sibyll, I..."

"...And because of the unlikely position of Mercury, drowning may be inevitable..."

"Sibyll, I'm not going to drown!"

"... But you should be safe, provided you eat your vegetables. Hm... avoid chocolate, my dear Minerva..."

"Stop it! I don't need a reading!"

"... and I think someone close to you is ill. Gravely so. Send them chocolate, but do not touch it yourself, in case Venus comes to the sixth house before it is time..."

"Sibyll!"

"...Watch out for your dreams, Minerva, they bring bad tidings. And someone you dislike is in trouble."

Sibyll was going to be in trouble if she kept talking.

"... be careful, though- they're coming to get you."

"Who?" asked Minerva dryly. "No, wait, don't tell me."

Too late. "avoid hot things, cold things, silly things-"

"Silly things? Sibyll, really!"

"...red things, blue things, purple things, magic things..."

"Magic things! Come on, Sibyll, this is a school of magic, we practise magic, everything's magic!"

"- things with spots, things with stripes, things smaller that a breadbox..."

"Sibyll..." Minerva's tone was no longer condescending. It was dangerous.

"random things, things that adore silver, gold, pointy things, and avoid unicorns, centaurs, people with freckles, people with bushy hair, people with green eyes, people with long, purple hair and green faces, wands, turtles..."

"Sibyll. Please let me excuse myself."

"-that would be in your worst interests, Minerva- flowers, maps, and trees, just for good measure."

There was blessed silence. "That was... enlightening, Sibyll," said Minerva hastily. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I-"

"Oh- I almost forgot! You must watch out for Christmas presents, pyramids, long periods of silence, parakeets, parrots asking for mysterious sums of money, suspicious characters with bumpy noses-"

"Sibyll."

"- trick-or-treaters in angel costumes-"

"Shut."

"-particularly large stuffed animals-"

"Up."

"-and, come to think of it, string isn't in your best interests either..."

Minerva weighed things. On the one hand, Sibyll was a colleague.

On the other, Minerva really, really wanted to hit her.

On the one hand, Dumbledore had said to get along.

"Sibyll. Stop."

"Ah- I knew you would say that, my dear, as the future revealed..."

"Sibyll!"

"Divine intervention, you see. Long have the race of Seers..."

On the other hand...

Minerva drew her hand back and punched Sibyll Trelawney in the face.

With a satisfied smile, she looked at the stunned would-be-professor. "Didn't see that coming?"

"I am sure you will all be very glad indeed to learn that Sibyll Trelawney, after her short stay in St. Mungo's due to a nasty fall in the staff room, is back." Dumbledore said amongst half-hearted clapping from the teachers. Sibyll herself stood by him, new, thick glasses painfully obvious to Minerva. Two thoughts simletaneously came unbidden- a guilty, did I do that, and she looks like an overgrown bug. Not that Minerva would admit having that last thought. But her conscience was asking her to apologize, and the perfect moment was when Sibyll impetuously sat herself by Minerva.

"Um... Sibyll..." Minerva McGonagall whispered

"Don't worry," replied Sibyll quietly, almost glowing with pride and pleasure. "I'm not saying a word. The fates willed it, and just used you to carry out their will. I was meant to have glasses. It was my destiny!"

Grinning insanely, Sibyll turned her attention to re-arranging her many bracelets. Minerva had the slightest sensation of satisfaction. Does that mean Sibyll won't mind if I punch her again?