A/N: One thing about the whole Saitou being drunk...I regret having Saitou acting like that... I'm so sorry! [sob] Everyone, don't ever write anything that has Saitou being drunk and trying to take advantage of married women!!!! Revised chapter 7! Go read it! (not much different except for the person who hits on Tokio...) [Sigh] Gomen, maybe I was drunk when I wrote that chapter... T.T
Also, it seems that this is turning out to be more of a Souji [x] Tokio romance...I hope you all don't mind. I truly didn't mean for it to turn out like this. If I revise the previous chapter, it will be a Saitou x Tokio romance. Tell me if you'd prefer that!
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Rurouni Kenshin.
Chapter 8
A Cage
January 28 of 1868
::Shinsengumi headquarters::
Beautiful snow was falling to the ground and Tokio was inside reading a book. Tami was sewing a garment for a young man that she recently met. She was usually quiet about this fifteen-year old boy but if Tokio asked about him, she would answer while smiling. Tami ran into the boy in the hallway when she was in hurry to get some water. He was kind enough to carry the pail of water for her and since then, they met each other on the grounds when his training was over.
Tokio was with a child now, only a few months into the pregnancy, but she was delighted. Her appetite was steadily growing, usually having a craving for chicken or beef. Her husband was always running around the market for anything that she felt like eating.
But Okita was getting very sick, his coughing getting worse after strenuous exercises. Only a very few people knew about his illness and he wished to keep it that way. He warned Tokio not to get too near him. His coughs were more frequent and lasted longer and longer, each one getting very difficult to stop. At night, he slept near the door while Tokio slept on the other side of the room. At times he would cough at night and she wanted to rock him back to sleep, but he would not let her risk her health for his own sake. It got to be extremely frustrating for Tokio. He would sometimes take her to the hospital to check if she had gotten his illness. Luckily she did not. Ever since then, Okita made sure she was healthy and that she stayed away from him.
Ayume came in the door to check up on her friend and her sister. They were talking happily when Okita came in the door, weakly smiling at the three women. His breathing was heavy and he clung to the open shoji door, trying to support himself.
"Soujirou, are you all right?" Tokio asked worriedly, standing up. He didn't answer and he started cough violently. Falling to the floor, he spat out blood. His wife ran to him, taking him in her arms, trying to stop the coughing. His chin rested on her shoulder as the other two women wiped the blood from the floor and dashing out to get help.
Tokio cradled him back and forth gently, her hands rubbing his back. His blood trickled down her yukata from his mouth. Okita's arms hung at his sides, and his breathing slowed to a normal rate. He was so weak that he couldn't get out from her embrace even if he wanted to.
"To-chan, why do you love me?" He murmured hoarsely, his voice breaking slightly.
Tokio hugged him tighter. "Do you need a reason?"
He was quiet. "Ask questions that make sense, Soujirou. Do not waste your words on things that you don't need answers to." She stood strong, masking her sadness from him.
A chuckle that sounded like a hiccup emitted from his throat. "I guess you're right...you are always right."
She was still holding him. He weakly moved his arms so that they were around her waist. "I wanted to tell you something, To-chan. Kondo-san and Hijikata-san agreed that they should send me to a hospital."
Okita felt her tense at the news. "I have to leave at the end of the month. Would you come and visit me?"
A moment of silence passed. Tokio tried to smile but failed. "If you want me to, Soujirou."
"I would like it that you would visit me, To-chan. I would like that very much." He whispered. A groan of pain escaped his lips as he winced and he shifted in her arms.
Saitou, Kondo, and Hijikata all burst into the room. "Please help my Soujirou." She pleaded in a whisper. Saitou took his friend from her carefully. He awaited direction from Kondo. The Shinsengumi superior thought rapidly.
"We have to take him to the hospital now. We can't wait until the 31st. I won't risk it."
The three men nodded and headed out the door. Kondo stopped before going out and he turned to her with a pained look in his eyes. "Souji will be fine. I promise. We will help him to the best of our abilities." He quickly followed the other two men after snapping shut the door.
Tokio nodded and looked down at her hands. Her vision blurred slightly and an overpowering sense of nausea blanketed her. A massive amount of agony was placed in her lower stomach. Doubling over while clutching her belly, she muffled her scream. Gasping for breath as the excruciating pain grew worse, sweat trickled down her forehead and face to the ground, some of them mingling with tears. 'Not the child! Please, not the child!' Everything suddenly grew dark.
::Hours later::
Ayume dabbed a wet cloth over Tokio's forehead. She glanced worriedly at Tami who also looked at her anxiously.
It had been a miscarriage. Tami had gone back to her sister's room to talk about Okita's behavior to find her on the ground, unconscious and bloody. The girl had almost fainted when she saw her and ran to get Ayume. Together they took care of her but Tokio did not show any signs of recovery. They assumed that it had something to do with her husband's leaving. An emotional pain could have triggered the miscarriage. The two women were doing everything they could.
Currently, Okita was also lying in bed hardly moving in an empty room. Lights were out and night was falling, enveloping Japan with a cold winter. He dazedly opened his eyes but couldn't see anything. Squinting, he sat up slowly from the futon, rubbing his face with his hand.
He tiredly looked down at it to see it dripping with a warm, sticky substance and a scent that he had known for countless years in battle. A sudden light shined on him and he could clearly see that it was blood. He was coated all over with it. Ahead, he could barely make out a figure stationary on the floor of the room. A leaf brushed past his cheek, tickling it just slightly and it landed in a small river of blood running beside his futon. His brown eyes followed it and saw it disappearing near where the petite form was. Curiosity overcame his fatigue and Okita crawled in the direction of it. Halting with the person's back facing him; he reached over to turn the body to face him.
A very bloody Tokio now looked at him with her sightless eyes, staring into somewhere beyond. He muffled a scream as he scrambled back on his hands and feet. He huddled somewhere as far away as he could from his dead wife's body, shivering with cold sweat at the horror that the blood on him was hers. Okita sensed something moving his way and he looked up to see an enormous wave of blood about to crash down on him. He was barely able to keep his head above the surface of the furious sea of crimson blood. He thrashed around to fight for his life and not to be overcome by the storm. He saw Tokio's body floating on the blood and he reached for her desperately, shouting, "To-chan!"
"Okita-san, please wake up! You're dreaming!" A voice said from far away.
Souji's vision was blurred heavily so he couldn't make out anything in the morning light. He felt so tired that he wanted to sleep for a week, but apparently the person trying to wake him wasn't giving up any time soon. He let out a breath to signal that he was fine. The nurse sighed with relief and tucked the blanket closer to him.
"I'll bring some food, Okita-san."
He tried to speak a thank you, but his throat was dry as sandpaper. He had to swallow and clear his throat five times before he could actually utter a sound. Souji looked around, feeling slightly cold from the frost outside. Trying to shake off the nightmare that he had, he looked just past his futon where he had supposedly killed his wife. The thought of her awakened him.
He wanted to go back to Tokio where they could spend the entire day just watching the snow and talking. He wanted to watch his child grow and play with him or her every single day and buy them candy. He wanted to laugh with his friends and comrades and live through this war. He wanted to hold Tokio's hand and feel whatever she was feeling. He wanted to grow old with Tokio, and he wished for another day to live just to see her again. Ever since his marriage to her, he prayed to any being who would listen to his request every night.
Souji looked around the room and decided that it was evil. He felt like a bird in a cage with its wings bound tightly permanently. A cage...that's what this place was. The only way he could fly again was...
The nurse came in, carrying a tray of dreary soup and rice. It suddenly made him miss Tokio's cooking. He ate automatically, not really tasting anything, just thinking about what he had left behind. He took all sorts of medicine given by the nurse, but he honestly believed that they were not going to help. Okita sighed and lay down again with the nurse giving him a cheerful smile. She left him to rest which he was grateful for. He coughed lightly but it still hurt his throat.
Hijikata came in to visit him, bringing him his swords. Souji feebly laughed and told him to put the swords against the closest corner. The Shinsengumi commandant looked at him and sighed. "Tokio is not faring well, Souji."
The sick man bolted from the bedding. Ignoring his lungs' protests, he shouted, "Is she all right? What's wrong?"
Hijikata stared straight into Souji's eyes. "She had an unfortunate miscarriage. The baby is gone. I'm sorry, Souji. Tokio is still not waking up due to the trauma."
Breathing became difficult for him and his hands shook. Okita forced himself to breathe, but the news hit him like a ton of bricks. "When did this happen, damn it! Is her condition stable?" He seemed to shout at himself rather than to his friend.
The older man breathed in through his nose. "I was informed that it happened soon after you left. The women think that an emotional burden could have had something to do with the miscarriage. But Ayume and Tami are taking care of her now."
"I-I have to go to her. I have to be with her. I can't leave her like this. Kami-sama, help her." He threw aside his blanket and tried to get up.
Hijikata pushed him back down and shook his head. "Tokio wants for you to be well. Don't disappoint her. It's the last thing that she needs. Do not make it harder for her than it already is."
Okita stopped struggling and gazed at his lap. Sensing his distress, Hijikata stood from his kneeling position. He left without a sound but the captain did not seem to take notice. His hands itched for his katana. An urge to decapitate anything in his room seemed very appealing. The frustration did not last long.
Burying his face into his face, he silently wept. But soon, the silence was broken by rasping gasps. Small rivulets of tears ran his forearms down to his elbows. Souji learned that reality was more painful than his nightmares. Falling back, he curled up on his side, his mind too exhausted to take in the information of the death of his own flesh and blood and the news of his wife's coma. His fists beat the floor weakly as small speckles of tears wet his pillow. 'I'm so sorry, To-chan."
It hurt so much. It really did. The heart. The soul. All were scarred. Only pain circulated through the system. It felt like the world was caving in, with no hope and no peace. The body felt like it was falling apart, piece by piece and part by part. But to know that their body failed a loved one, it only added to the agony. The nightmare continued. It wouldn't stop. It only got worse. Dreams shattered its million pieces worthless and useless falling to the bottom of the soul. Once perfect rainbows distorted and hideous, once innocent hearts broken and wounded. That hurt. It really did. Help did not come, nor would it ever. Freedom from this pain meant death, and death seemed like bliss.
"Soujirou, what do you think of the stars?" Tokio asked her husband. They sat on the porch, stargazing.
Okita thought for a minute. "They don't seem to be as pretty as you are, To-chan."
Tokio laughed. "Do you believe in destiny?"
"Destiny? Destiny can be created, To-chan. I believe in that."
She looked as if she was concentrating very hard. "Do you think it is destiny that brought us together? Do you think we were destined for each other?"
He wrapped an arm around her. "Destiny or not, To-chan, just remember that we are together, through everything; good, bad, or in between. Do you know why?" A questioned looked crossed her face, "I made it my destiny to be with you."
The woman giggled at his answer. "I believe I can accept that, Soujirou."
"Good." He whispered into her ear.
It took everything in Okita's willpower to stop the violent urge to kill himself. Tokio was still alive. He had to go back to her. That was the only thought that went through his mind as he stared out the window. Snow...it was the first time that they met; when it was snowing for the first time. He sat by that window for hours at a time, a blanket around his shoulders and his katana at his feet. As soon as he received word of Tokio's death, he would join her. The former captain became distant but very obedient to the doctor's orders.
::February 19 of 1868::
It was very dark at night when Tokio awoke, frail and thin. She looked in the mirror and caught a glance of her face by moonlight. She was a mess. Washing her face and brushing her knotted hair, she put on a long haori over her yukata. Her sister was sleeping nearby, and Tokio wrapped her blanket around her.
Slowly sliding the door open soundlessly, she stepped out and slipped on her sandals. It was cold, but she did not mind. All she wanted was to be where Okita was.
"Going somewhere, Tokio?" A voice drawled quietly from under a tree. She was not startled.
"I am going to find Soujirou."
A pair of amber eyes glared at her and measured her carefully. "You are not strong enough. You'd collapse after walking three feet."
"I don't care." Her voice wavered this time.
"I'll take you there. You don't know the way."
He abruptly opened the gate and waited for a hesitating Tokio. The tall Miburo let out a snort. "Why are women so indecisive?"
She followed him out and he walked gracefully north towards the hospital. Saitou slowed down for the woman behind him who had trouble keeping up with his fast pace. He was completely silent. Words did not pass between them as they made progress through the snow.
"His room is the fifth door on the right."
Tokio nodded silently as they arrived at the entrance. She stepped in, this time without any hesitation, and strode quickly with Saitou behind. A nurse passing by was shocked.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, you can't come in here."
"I am Okita Tokio."
"I see, but—"
Souji's wife swept past her and when the nurse tried to follow, Saitou cut her off. He looked down menacingly and she backed away.
Tokio counted down the doors to her right. Arriving at the fifth door, she quietly opened it, to find him sitting beside the window, blankly staring at the moon. Relief flooded her and she stepped in, closing the door after her. She put her arms around him from behind, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know you wanted me to visit sooner, Soujirou."
Okita leaned into her hold, his eyes still fixed on the bright moon. "I'm sorry, To-chan," he quietly whispered.
"For what?"
"For making you lose the child. I...I couldn't stand myself. I was so...so close into..." He made the tiniest gesture to the sword at his feet.
It only made her hug him closer. "Yes, it hurt, Soujirou, but losing you would have hurt more. I'm glad you decided to live."
"All I wanted was to see our child grow up. Everything I want never comes true."
"I've had one thing that I want come true. The happiest time was when I married you and the days after." Tokio said, feeling him relax against her.
Okita nodded. "I guess you're right...you are always right. But I don't want you to stay. You'll get sick, To-chan."
She smiled sadly. "I'm afraid you can't make me leave. Everything that I have is here."
Okita Souji had never felt happier in his life. He rested his arms on top of hers and closed his tired eyes, falling into a heavenly bliss.
Tokio held him close watching a nocturne bird fly past the window. Its song rang like a voice of hope in the wind. 'The bird has this world as its only cage. Soujirou, your spirit resembles that bird to me, but you are not quite yet free,' she thought as she felt his deep breathing and slight movement of his hands. 'Not quite free."
Thank you to...
Alice- I did some research on Tuberculosis and found out that it is rare for TB to be spread by sex. Only the air can really transport the disease. Okita doesn't want to hurt her ever, but staying away from her hurts her more...so, I just winged it... Thanks for the review though! I might revise Chapter 7.
Ok, no Saitou being drunk in this one. I had so much w. blocks on this one, but I managed to overcome those.
I hope you understood my pathetic attempt at trying to connect Tokio's coma with the dream that Okita had. He thought that he killed her due to his illness, but it turns out that she was in a coma after a miscarriage of his child. I'm still trying to improve my symbolism.
I think the next or the next two chapters will be the finale of this story. This chapter was rather depressing and I don't think I write depressing things like this. The next one(s) shall be brighter and happier. The dramatic ending will be soon! Keep reading and reviewing until the very end!
Also, it seems that this is turning out to be more of a Souji [x] Tokio romance...I hope you all don't mind. I truly didn't mean for it to turn out like this. If I revise the previous chapter, it will be a Saitou x Tokio romance. Tell me if you'd prefer that!
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Rurouni Kenshin.
Chapter 8
A Cage
January 28 of 1868
::Shinsengumi headquarters::
Beautiful snow was falling to the ground and Tokio was inside reading a book. Tami was sewing a garment for a young man that she recently met. She was usually quiet about this fifteen-year old boy but if Tokio asked about him, she would answer while smiling. Tami ran into the boy in the hallway when she was in hurry to get some water. He was kind enough to carry the pail of water for her and since then, they met each other on the grounds when his training was over.
Tokio was with a child now, only a few months into the pregnancy, but she was delighted. Her appetite was steadily growing, usually having a craving for chicken or beef. Her husband was always running around the market for anything that she felt like eating.
But Okita was getting very sick, his coughing getting worse after strenuous exercises. Only a very few people knew about his illness and he wished to keep it that way. He warned Tokio not to get too near him. His coughs were more frequent and lasted longer and longer, each one getting very difficult to stop. At night, he slept near the door while Tokio slept on the other side of the room. At times he would cough at night and she wanted to rock him back to sleep, but he would not let her risk her health for his own sake. It got to be extremely frustrating for Tokio. He would sometimes take her to the hospital to check if she had gotten his illness. Luckily she did not. Ever since then, Okita made sure she was healthy and that she stayed away from him.
Ayume came in the door to check up on her friend and her sister. They were talking happily when Okita came in the door, weakly smiling at the three women. His breathing was heavy and he clung to the open shoji door, trying to support himself.
"Soujirou, are you all right?" Tokio asked worriedly, standing up. He didn't answer and he started cough violently. Falling to the floor, he spat out blood. His wife ran to him, taking him in her arms, trying to stop the coughing. His chin rested on her shoulder as the other two women wiped the blood from the floor and dashing out to get help.
Tokio cradled him back and forth gently, her hands rubbing his back. His blood trickled down her yukata from his mouth. Okita's arms hung at his sides, and his breathing slowed to a normal rate. He was so weak that he couldn't get out from her embrace even if he wanted to.
"To-chan, why do you love me?" He murmured hoarsely, his voice breaking slightly.
Tokio hugged him tighter. "Do you need a reason?"
He was quiet. "Ask questions that make sense, Soujirou. Do not waste your words on things that you don't need answers to." She stood strong, masking her sadness from him.
A chuckle that sounded like a hiccup emitted from his throat. "I guess you're right...you are always right."
She was still holding him. He weakly moved his arms so that they were around her waist. "I wanted to tell you something, To-chan. Kondo-san and Hijikata-san agreed that they should send me to a hospital."
Okita felt her tense at the news. "I have to leave at the end of the month. Would you come and visit me?"
A moment of silence passed. Tokio tried to smile but failed. "If you want me to, Soujirou."
"I would like it that you would visit me, To-chan. I would like that very much." He whispered. A groan of pain escaped his lips as he winced and he shifted in her arms.
Saitou, Kondo, and Hijikata all burst into the room. "Please help my Soujirou." She pleaded in a whisper. Saitou took his friend from her carefully. He awaited direction from Kondo. The Shinsengumi superior thought rapidly.
"We have to take him to the hospital now. We can't wait until the 31st. I won't risk it."
The three men nodded and headed out the door. Kondo stopped before going out and he turned to her with a pained look in his eyes. "Souji will be fine. I promise. We will help him to the best of our abilities." He quickly followed the other two men after snapping shut the door.
Tokio nodded and looked down at her hands. Her vision blurred slightly and an overpowering sense of nausea blanketed her. A massive amount of agony was placed in her lower stomach. Doubling over while clutching her belly, she muffled her scream. Gasping for breath as the excruciating pain grew worse, sweat trickled down her forehead and face to the ground, some of them mingling with tears. 'Not the child! Please, not the child!' Everything suddenly grew dark.
::Hours later::
Ayume dabbed a wet cloth over Tokio's forehead. She glanced worriedly at Tami who also looked at her anxiously.
It had been a miscarriage. Tami had gone back to her sister's room to talk about Okita's behavior to find her on the ground, unconscious and bloody. The girl had almost fainted when she saw her and ran to get Ayume. Together they took care of her but Tokio did not show any signs of recovery. They assumed that it had something to do with her husband's leaving. An emotional pain could have triggered the miscarriage. The two women were doing everything they could.
Currently, Okita was also lying in bed hardly moving in an empty room. Lights were out and night was falling, enveloping Japan with a cold winter. He dazedly opened his eyes but couldn't see anything. Squinting, he sat up slowly from the futon, rubbing his face with his hand.
He tiredly looked down at it to see it dripping with a warm, sticky substance and a scent that he had known for countless years in battle. A sudden light shined on him and he could clearly see that it was blood. He was coated all over with it. Ahead, he could barely make out a figure stationary on the floor of the room. A leaf brushed past his cheek, tickling it just slightly and it landed in a small river of blood running beside his futon. His brown eyes followed it and saw it disappearing near where the petite form was. Curiosity overcame his fatigue and Okita crawled in the direction of it. Halting with the person's back facing him; he reached over to turn the body to face him.
A very bloody Tokio now looked at him with her sightless eyes, staring into somewhere beyond. He muffled a scream as he scrambled back on his hands and feet. He huddled somewhere as far away as he could from his dead wife's body, shivering with cold sweat at the horror that the blood on him was hers. Okita sensed something moving his way and he looked up to see an enormous wave of blood about to crash down on him. He was barely able to keep his head above the surface of the furious sea of crimson blood. He thrashed around to fight for his life and not to be overcome by the storm. He saw Tokio's body floating on the blood and he reached for her desperately, shouting, "To-chan!"
"Okita-san, please wake up! You're dreaming!" A voice said from far away.
Souji's vision was blurred heavily so he couldn't make out anything in the morning light. He felt so tired that he wanted to sleep for a week, but apparently the person trying to wake him wasn't giving up any time soon. He let out a breath to signal that he was fine. The nurse sighed with relief and tucked the blanket closer to him.
"I'll bring some food, Okita-san."
He tried to speak a thank you, but his throat was dry as sandpaper. He had to swallow and clear his throat five times before he could actually utter a sound. Souji looked around, feeling slightly cold from the frost outside. Trying to shake off the nightmare that he had, he looked just past his futon where he had supposedly killed his wife. The thought of her awakened him.
He wanted to go back to Tokio where they could spend the entire day just watching the snow and talking. He wanted to watch his child grow and play with him or her every single day and buy them candy. He wanted to laugh with his friends and comrades and live through this war. He wanted to hold Tokio's hand and feel whatever she was feeling. He wanted to grow old with Tokio, and he wished for another day to live just to see her again. Ever since his marriage to her, he prayed to any being who would listen to his request every night.
Souji looked around the room and decided that it was evil. He felt like a bird in a cage with its wings bound tightly permanently. A cage...that's what this place was. The only way he could fly again was...
The nurse came in, carrying a tray of dreary soup and rice. It suddenly made him miss Tokio's cooking. He ate automatically, not really tasting anything, just thinking about what he had left behind. He took all sorts of medicine given by the nurse, but he honestly believed that they were not going to help. Okita sighed and lay down again with the nurse giving him a cheerful smile. She left him to rest which he was grateful for. He coughed lightly but it still hurt his throat.
Hijikata came in to visit him, bringing him his swords. Souji feebly laughed and told him to put the swords against the closest corner. The Shinsengumi commandant looked at him and sighed. "Tokio is not faring well, Souji."
The sick man bolted from the bedding. Ignoring his lungs' protests, he shouted, "Is she all right? What's wrong?"
Hijikata stared straight into Souji's eyes. "She had an unfortunate miscarriage. The baby is gone. I'm sorry, Souji. Tokio is still not waking up due to the trauma."
Breathing became difficult for him and his hands shook. Okita forced himself to breathe, but the news hit him like a ton of bricks. "When did this happen, damn it! Is her condition stable?" He seemed to shout at himself rather than to his friend.
The older man breathed in through his nose. "I was informed that it happened soon after you left. The women think that an emotional burden could have had something to do with the miscarriage. But Ayume and Tami are taking care of her now."
"I-I have to go to her. I have to be with her. I can't leave her like this. Kami-sama, help her." He threw aside his blanket and tried to get up.
Hijikata pushed him back down and shook his head. "Tokio wants for you to be well. Don't disappoint her. It's the last thing that she needs. Do not make it harder for her than it already is."
Okita stopped struggling and gazed at his lap. Sensing his distress, Hijikata stood from his kneeling position. He left without a sound but the captain did not seem to take notice. His hands itched for his katana. An urge to decapitate anything in his room seemed very appealing. The frustration did not last long.
Burying his face into his face, he silently wept. But soon, the silence was broken by rasping gasps. Small rivulets of tears ran his forearms down to his elbows. Souji learned that reality was more painful than his nightmares. Falling back, he curled up on his side, his mind too exhausted to take in the information of the death of his own flesh and blood and the news of his wife's coma. His fists beat the floor weakly as small speckles of tears wet his pillow. 'I'm so sorry, To-chan."
It hurt so much. It really did. The heart. The soul. All were scarred. Only pain circulated through the system. It felt like the world was caving in, with no hope and no peace. The body felt like it was falling apart, piece by piece and part by part. But to know that their body failed a loved one, it only added to the agony. The nightmare continued. It wouldn't stop. It only got worse. Dreams shattered its million pieces worthless and useless falling to the bottom of the soul. Once perfect rainbows distorted and hideous, once innocent hearts broken and wounded. That hurt. It really did. Help did not come, nor would it ever. Freedom from this pain meant death, and death seemed like bliss.
"Soujirou, what do you think of the stars?" Tokio asked her husband. They sat on the porch, stargazing.
Okita thought for a minute. "They don't seem to be as pretty as you are, To-chan."
Tokio laughed. "Do you believe in destiny?"
"Destiny? Destiny can be created, To-chan. I believe in that."
She looked as if she was concentrating very hard. "Do you think it is destiny that brought us together? Do you think we were destined for each other?"
He wrapped an arm around her. "Destiny or not, To-chan, just remember that we are together, through everything; good, bad, or in between. Do you know why?" A questioned looked crossed her face, "I made it my destiny to be with you."
The woman giggled at his answer. "I believe I can accept that, Soujirou."
"Good." He whispered into her ear.
It took everything in Okita's willpower to stop the violent urge to kill himself. Tokio was still alive. He had to go back to her. That was the only thought that went through his mind as he stared out the window. Snow...it was the first time that they met; when it was snowing for the first time. He sat by that window for hours at a time, a blanket around his shoulders and his katana at his feet. As soon as he received word of Tokio's death, he would join her. The former captain became distant but very obedient to the doctor's orders.
::February 19 of 1868::
It was very dark at night when Tokio awoke, frail and thin. She looked in the mirror and caught a glance of her face by moonlight. She was a mess. Washing her face and brushing her knotted hair, she put on a long haori over her yukata. Her sister was sleeping nearby, and Tokio wrapped her blanket around her.
Slowly sliding the door open soundlessly, she stepped out and slipped on her sandals. It was cold, but she did not mind. All she wanted was to be where Okita was.
"Going somewhere, Tokio?" A voice drawled quietly from under a tree. She was not startled.
"I am going to find Soujirou."
A pair of amber eyes glared at her and measured her carefully. "You are not strong enough. You'd collapse after walking three feet."
"I don't care." Her voice wavered this time.
"I'll take you there. You don't know the way."
He abruptly opened the gate and waited for a hesitating Tokio. The tall Miburo let out a snort. "Why are women so indecisive?"
She followed him out and he walked gracefully north towards the hospital. Saitou slowed down for the woman behind him who had trouble keeping up with his fast pace. He was completely silent. Words did not pass between them as they made progress through the snow.
"His room is the fifth door on the right."
Tokio nodded silently as they arrived at the entrance. She stepped in, this time without any hesitation, and strode quickly with Saitou behind. A nurse passing by was shocked.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, you can't come in here."
"I am Okita Tokio."
"I see, but—"
Souji's wife swept past her and when the nurse tried to follow, Saitou cut her off. He looked down menacingly and she backed away.
Tokio counted down the doors to her right. Arriving at the fifth door, she quietly opened it, to find him sitting beside the window, blankly staring at the moon. Relief flooded her and she stepped in, closing the door after her. She put her arms around him from behind, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know you wanted me to visit sooner, Soujirou."
Okita leaned into her hold, his eyes still fixed on the bright moon. "I'm sorry, To-chan," he quietly whispered.
"For what?"
"For making you lose the child. I...I couldn't stand myself. I was so...so close into..." He made the tiniest gesture to the sword at his feet.
It only made her hug him closer. "Yes, it hurt, Soujirou, but losing you would have hurt more. I'm glad you decided to live."
"All I wanted was to see our child grow up. Everything I want never comes true."
"I've had one thing that I want come true. The happiest time was when I married you and the days after." Tokio said, feeling him relax against her.
Okita nodded. "I guess you're right...you are always right. But I don't want you to stay. You'll get sick, To-chan."
She smiled sadly. "I'm afraid you can't make me leave. Everything that I have is here."
Okita Souji had never felt happier in his life. He rested his arms on top of hers and closed his tired eyes, falling into a heavenly bliss.
Tokio held him close watching a nocturne bird fly past the window. Its song rang like a voice of hope in the wind. 'The bird has this world as its only cage. Soujirou, your spirit resembles that bird to me, but you are not quite yet free,' she thought as she felt his deep breathing and slight movement of his hands. 'Not quite free."
Thank you to...
Alice- I did some research on Tuberculosis and found out that it is rare for TB to be spread by sex. Only the air can really transport the disease. Okita doesn't want to hurt her ever, but staying away from her hurts her more...so, I just winged it... Thanks for the review though! I might revise Chapter 7.
Jazzywolf- kissing?? o.O there wasn't kissing in Chapter 7? --;; I'll go rewrite that too...
Miburo Kid- Once again, I'm very sorry about Saitou. It won't ever happen again! I promise!
Bonessasan- :P I tried...I really did... Saitou is silent now. Go reread!
::Author's notes::Ok, no Saitou being drunk in this one. I had so much w. blocks on this one, but I managed to overcome those.
I hope you understood my pathetic attempt at trying to connect Tokio's coma with the dream that Okita had. He thought that he killed her due to his illness, but it turns out that she was in a coma after a miscarriage of his child. I'm still trying to improve my symbolism.
I think the next or the next two chapters will be the finale of this story. This chapter was rather depressing and I don't think I write depressing things like this. The next one(s) shall be brighter and happier. The dramatic ending will be soon! Keep reading and reviewing until the very end!