The Adventure of the Legendary Fruitcup
A Shounen-ai Naruto Fic
Sasuke was standing on the edge of the street, glancing down at his watch while waiting for the little person in the box that was living in the lamp post to turn into a permeating green. The moment it did, the cars on the road all seemed to stop for him, and Sasuke smirked.
"Gawd, they all love me," he said in a conceited tone as he walked with his head high. Crossing the street and making sure that he sauntered between the white lines so he wasn't j-walking, he was thinking of just how hot he was. After all, they wouldn't stop just because their traffic light turned red. They stopped because of him! The great Sasuke!
And you know what? Sasuke was on a mission.
That's right. A mission.
Earlier that day, as Sasuke was getting ready to leave school, he had gone by his locker to put away his afternoon books and bring out his morning books for the next day (He needn't worry of homework; after all, he is the great Sasuke) when thousands of letters flooded out. They were pretty, they were pink, and they had hearts. Ooh-La-la!
He piled them all in his bag, telling himself he would read these amazing letters of admiration when he came home to his quarters. His room was gorgeous and beautiful, clean and spotless. Every morning he sprayed an Anti-Itachi spray on his doorknob so his gothic brother could not enter. Ah, he remembered the days of being Goth. What dark, depressing days they were.
One letter, however, caught his eyes, and he refused to wait for it. Instead of being the usual and fluffy pink or white with hearts, this one had an orange cover. Yes, an envelope and yes, an orange envelope.
'This is the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit!' Sasuke concluded. But after a second, he decided to forget there ever was Naruto. This was his orange letter, not Naruto's. That's right. As he read it while standing by his locker, ignoring the other slamming lockers of the children who were ready to leave, his mind grew more and more eager with interest.
'Dear Sasuke,
I am a talking fruit cup. That's right, I live, and I'm a living fruit cup. I want you to find me, and when you do, I, the living fruit cup, have something very important to tell you. I'm sure you're wondering how on earth a cup of fruits could write so beautifully, or have the hands to place this vibrantly orange enveloped into your locker, but if you find me, all will be explained! Please, go to the first place I mention, and you will have you will find your first clue as to who I am.
Yours truly,
The Fruit cup'
Later on in the letter was the hint of going to the local furniture store, and that was exactly where Sasuke was going. He couldn't resist a tasty meal; he loved fruit cups! Indeed he did. The fruit was absolutely gorgeous, and he often used the cucumbers to put over his eyes and protect them from the skin lotion he used to keep him beautiful. The other fruits, you ask? Why, he ate them.
Amazingly enough, right after he crossed the street the cars began to go again. Sasuke thought it was because they had been waiting for him to be on the sidewalk again, but the little man in the box had turned a fiery red, and the traffic light had turned green. Go cars, go!
In front of Sasuke was the tall furniture store, and the excitement welled up inside of him. His adventure was beginning! He held out his hands, a hearty old toothy grin on his face. He didn't care that other passerby's were staring or that mother's were hiding their children from the odd sight. He was destined! This moment was his!
"In this furniture store," he began, his voice so welled up he wanted to laugh, "I shall find the first clue to this talking fruit cup with the envelope the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit! Yes!"
Sasuke opened the door, surprised that the door hadn't opened itself for him, and, oddly enough, he saw a single room piled with massive amounts of furniture. He wondered if many people visited here, and if it was a popular place; after all, why else would they have so many places to sit?
"Sasuke!" he heard, and his heart pounded at the sound of his name; he didn't care that it was an adorable girls' voice that said it. It was only important that she said his name. But, since this girl said his name out of all the names in the world, he figured that he should acknowledge her presence.
She was a girl, a few inches shorter than him, with short cotton candy pink hair and beautiful, glowing green eyes. The moment she ran up to him she stopped, holding her hands behind her back and smiling widely. "I had no idea you would buy furniture from here!"
"And who might you be?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He did it; he acknowledged the presence of another human being. Go Sasuke! This is one step closer to reaching a connection with humanity!
The girl frowned, but her cheeks were still revealing a deep blush. "I'm Sakura!"
Sasuke raised his other eyebrow this time, to show he could raise both of his eyebrows.
". . . And?"
"I'm in all of your classes."
". . . This means what?"
This acknowledgement thing was hard.
Sakura sighed, turning around and walking in between a row of chairs and couches to the back of the room, where a business desk sat filled with papers and a cash register. "Anyways . . . what would you like?"
Sasuke fished through the pockets of his designer brand pants and pulled out the orange enveloped that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit, holding it up. "I'm in search of a clue," he said valiantly.
"Huh?" Sakura asked, squinting her eyes since she was on the other side of the room. "I can't see what you're holding."
"Then come over here! I won't move a muscle."
Sakura sighed and walked over to Sasuke, who seemed very happy to still be holding the orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit. She took it from his hand, which he seemed so shocked that he jumped back in fear.
"Is something the matter?" Sakura asked, trying hard not to giggle as she opened the orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit. Sasuke finally sighed after a moment and shook his head.
"No, no, I'm fine," he replied. "It's just that when you took the enveloped, it made a sort of snapping noise."
" . . . Yeah?"
"I thought someone was breaking the door open to kidnap me or something. I am the great Sasuke, after all."
" . . . Oh."
Sakura finally completely opened the letter inside the orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit and read it. She snorted and giggled feverishly throughout it, and then when she was done, she handed it back to Sasuke. He stuffed it back in his pocket.
"Th-That's quite an i-i-interesting letter," she said, laughing. Sasuke did not see what was so laugh-worthy. Was she making fun of him, Sasuke? He decided it was best to ignore this aspect of her if he were to keep going.
"I'm searching for a clue," he repeated to her. "The letter told me to come here, and so I had to. It is part of my journey."
"To find a fruit cup?" Sakura inquired. Sasuke nodded.
"Do you know where in this furniture store is a clue?"
Sakura looked up towards the ceiling in deep thought, putting a finger on her chin. "Hmmm . . . Well, I'm not sure, but I remember Naruto just happening to come in earlier today and stuffing an orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit underneath a cushion."
"And?" Sasuke asked. Sakura shrugged.
"Then he left."
Sasuke struck another heroic pose, and immediately jumped around to all of the couches, throwing off the cushions left and right while laughing like a homicidal maniac. The young girl began to wonder what it was so many people liked about him; maybe the reason why he never spoke in class was because he was so strange. She had always thought of him as stoic. Now the secret was out!
"Sasuke," she started, and he stopped just long enough to look at her. She walked over to a particular cushion hidden behind two couches, a tiny little velvet-red cushion on a chair. She lifted it gently, taking out a second orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit. Sasuke smiled, once again, a toothy grin. Sakura grimaced at the strange site.
"Let's read it together pink-lady!" Sasuke said, already having dismissed her name. He jumped off of the couches he was hopping on almost as excitedly as a monkey, dashing next to Sakura's side. She expertly opened the orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit, and the two read out loud together.
'Dear Sasuke And Sakura,
I understand that you have found the second message that was laid down by me, the fruit cup. Well, I shall inform you of the final location of that short adventure, and that is where I, the fruit cup, shall be waiting.
Yours Truly,
The Fruit cup
P.S. Bring Mints. You shall need them.'
"It says to go to Naruto's house!" Sasuke said, completely stupefied. His brain was rattling, and he was just about ready to explode with anticipation. "Who wrote these letters, I ask! WHO?"
Sakura eyed him strangely as the young man grabbed the orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit. He was a strange one, he was. "Isn't it obvious who sent these letters?"
"You know!" Sasuke was completely shocked beyond belief. To know who actually wrote these, and with such a hard alias to figure out! The pink girl . . . she must be a genius beyond her years!
Sasuke put both his hands on her shoulders after putting the orange envelope that was the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit in his pocket. Her red cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red; weird or not, he was definitely hot. Who wouldn't blush? "I must let you join me on my journey to find this fruit cup!"
"What?" Sakura found this an odd request. But, she was sure that if girls saw her hanging around with Sasuke, they would be jealous. She decided to abandon her duties working at the furniture store to go meet the fruit cup with Sasuke.
The two walked outside, and after instantly crossing another road that Sasuke believed was just being polite to him, they had automatically reached the neighborhood. Like a neighborhood should be, it was a very neighborhood-ly sort of place, with many neighbors who would borrow their neighbors' things then move without returning them. You've been there before, haven't you? Of course you have.
At last the two came upon the scariest house in the entire neighborhood, and Sasuke, nervous and anticipating the moment, reached into his pocket and clung to the two orange envelopes that were the same color as Naruto's jumpsuit. This particular house was not a little tiny rambler or two-floor or even three-floor; it wasn't the kind with the squeaky-clean yard and the beautiful flowers with the green grass.
No. This house, Naruto' house, was a HAUNTED HOUSE. Dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuun!
Sasuke and Sakura entered the house that just happened to have lightning over top of it and a shadowy aura, growing weary as they passed dirt brown grass with tombstones sticking out of the ground. The gate was made of long and thin wires, and it opened automatically as the two approached it. Sasuke was very pleased.
"This is a polite house," Sasuke said, telling Sakura how nice the house was. She decided it was best to ignore the rather strange comment.
The door also opened for them automatically when they reached it, and the two walked in together, jumping at the sound of the lightning that was cackling outside. They suddenly heard pounding rain, and they both sighed of relief when they realized that it rained after they came in.
"Naruto?" Sakura called, looking around. It was a large opening, like a mansion, and above them was a pretty chandelier with cobwebs covering the once sparkling jewels. There were two marvelous staircases, one on each side of the very open room, leading up to an inside balcony of sorts. The rain pounded, and the lightning outside flashed. As it did, the two spotted a figure at the top of the stairs.
Naruto.
"You!" Sasuke shouted, pointing out his finger. Magically the chandelier lit up so everyone could see each other. "I am looking for a fruit cup! I was told to meet it here!"
"Oh my Gawd," Sakura muttered, somewhat annoyed by Sasuke's blatant stupidity. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted so there was an echo in the room, "Naruto, just tell him there is no fruit cup and you sent it!"
It sounded as if glass shattered in the room, and Naruto, who hadn't spoken quite yet, and Sakura both turned to Sasuke. There he was, looking like he was broken into a million of tiny pieces.
'No . . .' Sasuke thought, his voice in deep depression. 'No fruit cup? After I just spent the last hour searching? Was everything a lie? What meaning is there to life if I can't have my fruit cup?'
A little cackle was heard, but it didn't sound evil in the least; in fact, it sounded cute. Sakura looked up to Naruto, and Sasuke transformed back into his normal self before watching the young boy in the orange jump suit.
"Sakura," Naruto started, and he braced himself on the balcony, getting ready to jump over, "There is a fruit cup here, and I know where he is."
"What!" Sasuke and Sakura said together. Sasuke in particular was shocked, "It's a he!"
"Yup!"
Naruto jumped all the way over, landing without a single problem on the ground even if the balcony was a good twenty feet up or so and he was landing on hard floor. He approached the two of them and smirked at Sakura, and then he stuck out his tongue.
"You see," he started, putting up his index finger. The other two eagerly awaited his answer. "The fruit cup is . . ."
"Yes!" Sasuke said; he just couldn't wait any longer. "Where is the fruit cu-" his words were cut off by a short kiss from Naruto, whose cheeks were tinged with a strawberry pink. The other boys' eyes were wide in shock, and Sakura looked almost like she was ready to regurgitate profusely.
When Naruto parted lips with the ever so mighty Sasuke, he finally finished his sentence with a smile. "Me!"
X x x x x
Author's Notes
Okies, this was a weird story I came up with in a matter of 12 seconds. XD Literally? I made it up and finished it within a half-hour! This had no planning at all in it, and is just supposed to be a very odd story that doesn't make sense. I hope you enjoyed!
Author's Notes Pt. II
lol, I'm happy people liked it! But I forgot to explain something. XD Fruit cups aren't really a cup of fruits as much as it is a more cute term for someone who is 'silly' or 'queer'! I just took the meaning behind queer and turned it into 'gay'. : p It's not meant to offend at all though! Hopefully people won't take it that way . . . lol!