Chapter 11
I had left the common room as soon as Hermione had gone back to bed. I
walked the halls, a ghost to all of my surroundings. The real reason I
had set out was to get to Dumbledore's office and explain my dilemma,
but I procrastinated and ended up instead back in front of the
entrance hall door. I could run back to Dameon right now. If I pleaded
with him I'm sure he would let me stay with him. What am I saying?
Dameon told me to stay here. I have to honor his wishes as he would
mine. That's when I heard swift footsteps falling quickly on the hard
stone. I backed behind a corner to watch the approaching individual.
The moment he stepped into view I knew who it was. Snape. He stalked
toward the door. He was wearing a silky midnight blue traveling cape.
He made a move to open the door, but suddenly grabbed his wrist bent
over in agony as if he had been gouged by a knife. What's wrong with
him? If he's injured why doesn't he go to the hospital wing? As soon
as the episode started he regained his composure slipped through the
large wooden doors. This occurrence plagued my mind all the way to
Dumbledore's headquarters. Snape hadn't been at several of our classes
lately nor have I seen him in the Great Hall. What's going on with
him?
When I finally arrived the door to Dumbledore's quarters was open. I
cautiously entered and looked about. The fire was out and the room was
noticeably colder. Light streamed in through the three high windows
accenting the room. The elegant phoenix was perched across the room
from me. Its golden eyes followed my movement across the room. You
look so much like Dumbledore; wizened with age and gentle in manor.
How beautiful you are my companion. I took a place in one of the
darker corners of the room waiting for Dumbledore's arrival. It was at
least twenty minutes before I saw Dumbledore glide down the staircase
towards his desk. His maroon robes swept the floor with a soft rustle.
"Good morning, Raven," he said without looking up. I was speechless.
"How did you know... I was here?" I stumbled over the words.
"After being headmaster of a school for as long as I have you learn
know when students are around. Especially after dealing with the
Weasely twins," he chuckled to himself, "You came here for a reason.
So, what can I do for you?"
"The other day I couldn't tell you the truth. I wasn't prepared..."
"I see." He leaned back in his chair.
"And I guess I'm ready now." He nodded understandingly.
"I'm glad to see you decided to tell me, but I must ask that you
explain to all of the professors, not just myself."
"That's fine, but I will need a favor from you as well?"
"Yes?" he said placidly.
"I want Harry, Ron, and Hermione to be at the meeting. They have been
kind to me and deserve to know the truth," I looked at the ground
tensely.
"I will allow that. Besides they would probably find out anyways." I
made a move to get up, but he raised his hand, "I will summon them.
You stay here. And by the way Raven, next time, don't go off
boundaries when I ask you." I grinned sheepishly suddenly realizing my
clothes were washed in dirt from crawling into the den. I leaned back
in the chair. I felt extremely tense. How am I going to tell them? I'm
afraid of what their reaction will be. Hate? Fear? Or just plain
loathing? The uncertainty plagued me for over an hour until I heard
the heavy footsteps of the several teachers climbing the flights of
stairs. I got up and backed into a dark corner. They filed in slowly.
Most of the professors were still yawning from being suddenly roused
from their sleep. Hermione, Harry, and Ron followed the crowd.
"What are we meeting so early about? It's only 7 o'clock and breakfast
isn't until 9:30 A.M." Ron started to complain.
"Yes, I must apologize to all of you for this early awakening, but our
new student has a confession she wishes to express to all of us,"
Dumbledore explained evenly. Several of the people looked confusedly
at one another.
"It's Raven your talking about isn't it?" Hermione asked breathlessly.
"Yes, Hermione, it is me." I stepped out of the shadows from behind
her. She turned and met my gaze. I looked away uncomfortably. It's not
that I didn't trust you with my identity, but I feared it was too
dangerous to take such a chance... and despite what Dameon said I still
think it is.
"Now let's proceed so we can finish this business as quickly as
possible," Dumbledore instructed while gesturing to a large table that
had suddenly appeared in the center of the room. We all took our
places as I looked about at the faces of my peers. McGonigoll was
hurriedly talking to Flitwick who sat beside her. They glanced at me
worriedly before continuing their conversation. Lupin was in a more
somber mood. He inspected me. You have a predatorily glance professor,
like a wild dog. You're searching for the unseen, but I assure you
won't find it... especially in me. The one person that wasn't among the
crowd was Snape. Where is he? My reflections were interrupted by
Dumbledore.
"Please precede Raven." Instead of answering, I merely rolled up my
sleeve and displayed the crook-shape mark. There was suddenly tension
that filled the room. Some went fearfully pale while others even
shivered a little.
"It's apparent you know what this is," I scoffed.
"So she is a carrier?" breathed McGonigoll shakily. Dumbledore nodded
sadly, "But how did this happen? Births of such nature are always
recorded. How did she escape the ministry?"
"I'm not positive Minerva, but I have an idea," Dumbledore answered,
"Raven, I must ask you to answer truthfully to my questions. At the
beginning of the year I spoke to you about your past. What is the
first memory you can recall from your life?" My face twitched
agitatedly at the question. I hated thinking of the future ahead of
me, but even more I despised the thought of my past. I sighed heavily
and looked up.
"As you wish," I shrugged, "First thing I remember was this... this
dazzling white light. When it subsided I felt empty and dull.
Everything I had known a second ago disappeared. I didn't know who or
where I was. Then every time I tried to think of what I had forgotten
my head would begin to ache uncontrollably. I couldn't concentrate or
think. And it's the worst I've ever felt... to feel vulnerable and
stupid at the same moment. Then the cold came. I guess it must have
been winter or something. It was raining. I wanted to get up to get
out of the rain, but I... I couldn't move. It was like my legs were
bound to the ground by invisible chains. There was someone else there
as well. I kept screaming at it to help me, but it just stood there.
Then all I could hear was it weeping, and finally, darkness." I closed
my eyes trying to silence these memories.
"Amazing," Flitwick spoke silently.
"To whom?!" I hissed through clenched jaws.
"I mean to say the vastness of the memory reduction preformed without
permanent damage. Several enchantments of that sort have been
preformed to erase all of someone's memories relating to there
previous life, but all of them ended in the person being driven mad or
reformed to an eternal state of juvenile behavior. Visible proof rests
in St. Mungo's," Flitwick clarified briefly, "only a dark wizard could
perform a feat of such immense power."
"I believe I see where you're going with this Dumbledore. How could
the ministry have discovered her if her identity had been wiped out
completely? It was like she never even existed. So Raven might have
been registered, but if she was reported dead her records would be
erased from all the ministry's accounts," Lupin added.
"Dumbledore if she is a true carrier do you know what this could
mean?" McGonagoll shuddered.
"Basically that Voldemort could take over my mortal body, kill
everyone here, then make the world go to pot in a matter of minutes.
Oh, but not before he releases all his little 'friends'," I laughed.
"This isn't a joking matter, Raven," McGonagoll scolded fiercely.
"Oh, hell professor I'm kidding, but I do know the consequences of
this mark," my voice became sternly icy, "I am no fool so do not take
me as one."
"So what should we do?" McGonagoll asked nervously.
"First we should alert the ministry," Dumbledore said firmly.
Harry suddenly leapt to his feet, "The Ministry! They don't even
believe that Voldemort's back! What could they do?"
"If worse comes to worse and Raven is forced into an alliance with the
dark lord then she would become a large threat to our world. If they
are alerted now they may be able to help in the prevention of such an
event," the Headmaster sighed. His crystalline eyes fell upon me
sadly. You mean to say they would kill me.
"Now tell them the rest Raven," Dumbledore insisted quietly.
"What do you mean?" I looked at him confusedly.
"The mark is not the only thing you've been hiding." How do you know
this? I looked to him uncomfortably. What if I don't want to tell
them? Damn it Dumbledore can't you let me have some privacy?
"Hermione, about yesterday, uh, well..." I paused momentarily to collect
my thoughts, "Basically... you see... oh heck! Alright, the reason I could
protect you yesterday was because I'm a vampyre. I mean a partial
vampyre... half a vampyre." Ron's jaw dropped, Hermione's eyes grew wide
with shock, but Harry seemed to be the only one who remained calm.
Even the teachers grew nervously silent, "Geez, it's not that bad!
It's not like I've been biting people or sleeping in a coffin! I'll
just act slightly "different" at times."
"It's not that simple Raven," Dumbledore frowned gravely.
"Now what?" I snapped sarcastically.
"In becoming a vampyre a link to the dark lord is formed that can not
be broken. He owns your soul. He can call to you to his side whenever
he wishes. And what we worry about even more is the possibility of him
taking hold of you mind," Dumbledore continued, "He can twist your
reality and make you think your friends are enemies and even possibly
provoke you into killing them."
"I would never hurt them! If you think I'm that weak you're sorely
mistaken! I can control myself just trust me!" I felt as though a
dagger had pierced my heart. I would never hurt them. Never. I stood
so swiftly that I knocked over the chair, my eye twitching in anger.
Then I turned in disgust and strode towards the door with the sounds
of the professors ordering me to come back into the room. To hell with
them all! I stalked down the hallway. I turned the corner severely
ramming into a curtain of black cloth. My eyes traveled up to meet
Snape's empty eyes. For a moment he seemed as astonished as me, but
then his face slid back into its normal contemptible grimness. This
was probably the first time I could examine his face fully. It's true
I had glanced at him frequently during lessons, but never this
closely. In my opinion I'd describe him as a walking corpse especially
with his sallow skin. Although he usually looked this "dead" anyways I
noticed an odd sort of tiredness that seemed to prevail his features.
His eyes were a dulled gray not the piercing icy black. Snape's hair
might never have been, clean, but now it was extremely disheveled with
streaks of mud tossed into several of his greasy locks. I also noticed
bruises forming above his eye and over his cheek. His tremulous lips
quivered out of anxiety. (Although you put on a heartless face I can
clearly see you're personage is weak Severus.) He said nothing and
silently pushed past me as if wanting to rid himself of this
distressing confrontation. The hem of his sleeve brushed my hand
leaving a weak residue. Looking down I found his blood staining the
crevices of my hand. Upon this horrific discovery my eyes flitted to
his receding figure and down to his left hand. A steady cascade of
blood flowed from under his cloak and curled about his fingers before
adding to the trail of crimson on the hallway floor.
"Professor..." I began but he had disappeared into an adjacent classroom
before slamming the door shut. (Where did you go this morning?
Wherever it was it's apparent that you met trouble. Or were you
expecting such a failure and still went freely into adversity's
painful grasp? No matter, I will find out soon. You can't hide secrets
that kill.)
I had left the common room as soon as Hermione had gone back to bed. I
walked the halls, a ghost to all of my surroundings. The real reason I
had set out was to get to Dumbledore's office and explain my dilemma,
but I procrastinated and ended up instead back in front of the
entrance hall door. I could run back to Dameon right now. If I pleaded
with him I'm sure he would let me stay with him. What am I saying?
Dameon told me to stay here. I have to honor his wishes as he would
mine. That's when I heard swift footsteps falling quickly on the hard
stone. I backed behind a corner to watch the approaching individual.
The moment he stepped into view I knew who it was. Snape. He stalked
toward the door. He was wearing a silky midnight blue traveling cape.
He made a move to open the door, but suddenly grabbed his wrist bent
over in agony as if he had been gouged by a knife. What's wrong with
him? If he's injured why doesn't he go to the hospital wing? As soon
as the episode started he regained his composure slipped through the
large wooden doors. This occurrence plagued my mind all the way to
Dumbledore's headquarters. Snape hadn't been at several of our classes
lately nor have I seen him in the Great Hall. What's going on with
him?
When I finally arrived the door to Dumbledore's quarters was open. I
cautiously entered and looked about. The fire was out and the room was
noticeably colder. Light streamed in through the three high windows
accenting the room. The elegant phoenix was perched across the room
from me. Its golden eyes followed my movement across the room. You
look so much like Dumbledore; wizened with age and gentle in manor.
How beautiful you are my companion. I took a place in one of the
darker corners of the room waiting for Dumbledore's arrival. It was at
least twenty minutes before I saw Dumbledore glide down the staircase
towards his desk. His maroon robes swept the floor with a soft rustle.
"Good morning, Raven," he said without looking up. I was speechless.
"How did you know... I was here?" I stumbled over the words.
"After being headmaster of a school for as long as I have you learn
know when students are around. Especially after dealing with the
Weasely twins," he chuckled to himself, "You came here for a reason.
So, what can I do for you?"
"The other day I couldn't tell you the truth. I wasn't prepared..."
"I see." He leaned back in his chair.
"And I guess I'm ready now." He nodded understandingly.
"I'm glad to see you decided to tell me, but I must ask that you
explain to all of the professors, not just myself."
"That's fine, but I will need a favor from you as well?"
"Yes?" he said placidly.
"I want Harry, Ron, and Hermione to be at the meeting. They have been
kind to me and deserve to know the truth," I looked at the ground
tensely.
"I will allow that. Besides they would probably find out anyways." I
made a move to get up, but he raised his hand, "I will summon them.
You stay here. And by the way Raven, next time, don't go off
boundaries when I ask you." I grinned sheepishly suddenly realizing my
clothes were washed in dirt from crawling into the den. I leaned back
in the chair. I felt extremely tense. How am I going to tell them? I'm
afraid of what their reaction will be. Hate? Fear? Or just plain
loathing? The uncertainty plagued me for over an hour until I heard
the heavy footsteps of the several teachers climbing the flights of
stairs. I got up and backed into a dark corner. They filed in slowly.
Most of the professors were still yawning from being suddenly roused
from their sleep. Hermione, Harry, and Ron followed the crowd.
"What are we meeting so early about? It's only 7 o'clock and breakfast
isn't until 9:30 A.M." Ron started to complain.
"Yes, I must apologize to all of you for this early awakening, but our
new student has a confession she wishes to express to all of us,"
Dumbledore explained evenly. Several of the people looked confusedly
at one another.
"It's Raven your talking about isn't it?" Hermione asked breathlessly.
"Yes, Hermione, it is me." I stepped out of the shadows from behind
her. She turned and met my gaze. I looked away uncomfortably. It's not
that I didn't trust you with my identity, but I feared it was too
dangerous to take such a chance... and despite what Dameon said I still
think it is.
"Now let's proceed so we can finish this business as quickly as
possible," Dumbledore instructed while gesturing to a large table that
had suddenly appeared in the center of the room. We all took our
places as I looked about at the faces of my peers. McGonigoll was
hurriedly talking to Flitwick who sat beside her. They glanced at me
worriedly before continuing their conversation. Lupin was in a more
somber mood. He inspected me. You have a predatorily glance professor,
like a wild dog. You're searching for the unseen, but I assure you
won't find it... especially in me. The one person that wasn't among the
crowd was Snape. Where is he? My reflections were interrupted by
Dumbledore.
"Please precede Raven." Instead of answering, I merely rolled up my
sleeve and displayed the crook-shape mark. There was suddenly tension
that filled the room. Some went fearfully pale while others even
shivered a little.
"It's apparent you know what this is," I scoffed.
"So she is a carrier?" breathed McGonigoll shakily. Dumbledore nodded
sadly, "But how did this happen? Births of such nature are always
recorded. How did she escape the ministry?"
"I'm not positive Minerva, but I have an idea," Dumbledore answered,
"Raven, I must ask you to answer truthfully to my questions. At the
beginning of the year I spoke to you about your past. What is the
first memory you can recall from your life?" My face twitched
agitatedly at the question. I hated thinking of the future ahead of
me, but even more I despised the thought of my past. I sighed heavily
and looked up.
"As you wish," I shrugged, "First thing I remember was this... this
dazzling white light. When it subsided I felt empty and dull.
Everything I had known a second ago disappeared. I didn't know who or
where I was. Then every time I tried to think of what I had forgotten
my head would begin to ache uncontrollably. I couldn't concentrate or
think. And it's the worst I've ever felt... to feel vulnerable and
stupid at the same moment. Then the cold came. I guess it must have
been winter or something. It was raining. I wanted to get up to get
out of the rain, but I... I couldn't move. It was like my legs were
bound to the ground by invisible chains. There was someone else there
as well. I kept screaming at it to help me, but it just stood there.
Then all I could hear was it weeping, and finally, darkness." I closed
my eyes trying to silence these memories.
"Amazing," Flitwick spoke silently.
"To whom?!" I hissed through clenched jaws.
"I mean to say the vastness of the memory reduction preformed without
permanent damage. Several enchantments of that sort have been
preformed to erase all of someone's memories relating to there
previous life, but all of them ended in the person being driven mad or
reformed to an eternal state of juvenile behavior. Visible proof rests
in St. Mungo's," Flitwick clarified briefly, "only a dark wizard could
perform a feat of such immense power."
"I believe I see where you're going with this Dumbledore. How could
the ministry have discovered her if her identity had been wiped out
completely? It was like she never even existed. So Raven might have
been registered, but if she was reported dead her records would be
erased from all the ministry's accounts," Lupin added.
"Dumbledore if she is a true carrier do you know what this could
mean?" McGonagoll shuddered.
"Basically that Voldemort could take over my mortal body, kill
everyone here, then make the world go to pot in a matter of minutes.
Oh, but not before he releases all his little 'friends'," I laughed.
"This isn't a joking matter, Raven," McGonagoll scolded fiercely.
"Oh, hell professor I'm kidding, but I do know the consequences of
this mark," my voice became sternly icy, "I am no fool so do not take
me as one."
"So what should we do?" McGonagoll asked nervously.
"First we should alert the ministry," Dumbledore said firmly.
Harry suddenly leapt to his feet, "The Ministry! They don't even
believe that Voldemort's back! What could they do?"
"If worse comes to worse and Raven is forced into an alliance with the
dark lord then she would become a large threat to our world. If they
are alerted now they may be able to help in the prevention of such an
event," the Headmaster sighed. His crystalline eyes fell upon me
sadly. You mean to say they would kill me.
"Now tell them the rest Raven," Dumbledore insisted quietly.
"What do you mean?" I looked at him confusedly.
"The mark is not the only thing you've been hiding." How do you know
this? I looked to him uncomfortably. What if I don't want to tell
them? Damn it Dumbledore can't you let me have some privacy?
"Hermione, about yesterday, uh, well..." I paused momentarily to collect
my thoughts, "Basically... you see... oh heck! Alright, the reason I could
protect you yesterday was because I'm a vampyre. I mean a partial
vampyre... half a vampyre." Ron's jaw dropped, Hermione's eyes grew wide
with shock, but Harry seemed to be the only one who remained calm.
Even the teachers grew nervously silent, "Geez, it's not that bad!
It's not like I've been biting people or sleeping in a coffin! I'll
just act slightly "different" at times."
"It's not that simple Raven," Dumbledore frowned gravely.
"Now what?" I snapped sarcastically.
"In becoming a vampyre a link to the dark lord is formed that can not
be broken. He owns your soul. He can call to you to his side whenever
he wishes. And what we worry about even more is the possibility of him
taking hold of you mind," Dumbledore continued, "He can twist your
reality and make you think your friends are enemies and even possibly
provoke you into killing them."
"I would never hurt them! If you think I'm that weak you're sorely
mistaken! I can control myself just trust me!" I felt as though a
dagger had pierced my heart. I would never hurt them. Never. I stood
so swiftly that I knocked over the chair, my eye twitching in anger.
Then I turned in disgust and strode towards the door with the sounds
of the professors ordering me to come back into the room. To hell with
them all! I stalked down the hallway. I turned the corner severely
ramming into a curtain of black cloth. My eyes traveled up to meet
Snape's empty eyes. For a moment he seemed as astonished as me, but
then his face slid back into its normal contemptible grimness. This
was probably the first time I could examine his face fully. It's true
I had glanced at him frequently during lessons, but never this
closely. In my opinion I'd describe him as a walking corpse especially
with his sallow skin. Although he usually looked this "dead" anyways I
noticed an odd sort of tiredness that seemed to prevail his features.
His eyes were a dulled gray not the piercing icy black. Snape's hair
might never have been, clean, but now it was extremely disheveled with
streaks of mud tossed into several of his greasy locks. I also noticed
bruises forming above his eye and over his cheek. His tremulous lips
quivered out of anxiety. (Although you put on a heartless face I can
clearly see you're personage is weak Severus.) He said nothing and
silently pushed past me as if wanting to rid himself of this
distressing confrontation. The hem of his sleeve brushed my hand
leaving a weak residue. Looking down I found his blood staining the
crevices of my hand. Upon this horrific discovery my eyes flitted to
his receding figure and down to his left hand. A steady cascade of
blood flowed from under his cloak and curled about his fingers before
adding to the trail of crimson on the hallway floor.
"Professor..." I began but he had disappeared into an adjacent classroom
before slamming the door shut. (Where did you go this morning?
Wherever it was it's apparent that you met trouble. Or were you
expecting such a failure and still went freely into adversity's
painful grasp? No matter, I will find out soon. You can't hide secrets
that kill.)