Chapter 12
The rest of the day I spent in the solitude of the dormitory and no one returned to the common room until late. In the quiet vicinity of the tower I had time to recount the day's events and do some inner thinking. I feel like such a coward. I'm running from a monster that has the power to destroy and then disappear within my better self like breath upon a glass. The monster is me, yet how can I win against it? It fears my ability to cut off its powerful grip to the outside world, and because of that this vampyrian fiend would willingly destroy me. I fear this fate, but most of all I am afraid of what it could do to those closest to me; Hermione, Ron, Harry... and Dameon. I would freely take my own life, I'm not afraid to die, if I knew they would be safe, but that can never be- all because Voldemort still exists. He's taken everything from me and made me fear my existence. For this he must die... and I swear it will be my hand that tears his beating heart from his wicked chest. I will not be forced into his servitude to be wielded as a mere weapon! This burden-this fear-it weighs so much, but I know you want me to stay strong Dameon... and for you only will I try.
Just then I heard the door to the common room snap closed. I had been lying on my bed staring at the canopy. While trying to ignore the presence of the other person I focused my attention on the intricacies of the woven cloth. The threads are woven so tightly. A thread alone will break, but together they are invincible. For all my life I've been that single thread... and now I'm shredding and I too will break. Is this what you meant, Dameon? To try and trust them to become part of life's stronger tapestry? But they questioned my self-control, my pride and thus my honor. I'm so fed up with people telling me what I can or can't do! Why can't they all just shut up and back off?!!
I didn't notice (either that or I didn't care) the sound of staunch rapid footsteps approaching the girl's dormitory.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Hermione had burst into the room angrily. Oh, here we go.
"Not everything's your business, Miss Granger," I mumbled offhandedly.
"What?!" Now she's pissed.
"Some things are best unsaid, especially when it's in the best interests of one's companions," I whispered in the same monotone voice, "It's as Dumbledore insinuated. I'm dangerous... to everyone. I just thought it would be easier if you didn't know who-what I was. So if I..." I choked on the words painfully, "if I did something... you wouldn't hesitate to kill me. Because I know that when a person knows another's weakness it is only human nature to stop to pity them before protecting their own life. And I don't want you to make that mistake." She stared at me horrified at what I was saying. I held up my hands to her, "These have been my weapons for at least eight long years and too often have they become drunk with other's blood. I will not allow your blood to become another stain upon these canvases. So don't get too close to me, Granger, since unlike you I wouldn't falter to kill again. And the thing is... my soul is so dark with sin that I wouldn't care." My lips curled into a malicious smile that could have even rivaled Snape's.
"You've kkkkilled someone?" she visibly shuddered. I watched her eyes widen in fear-just like the people in my dreams. My world seems to have crumbled before my feat. First I'm given a fate of destruction and now... I loose you Hermione.
"Many," I continued grinning cruelly, "And now, I don't wish to talk anymore," I left her sitting stunned and strode from the room to wander the ground.
Hey scythe21 here. Thanks to everyone who's kept with the story so far! (That means you Anaili, Crazy-Lil-Nae-Nae, enb2004, deathgoddess017, and PowderedToast510!) Anyways I just wanted to say keep the suggestions/reviews coming and keep reading to discover the rest to Raven's story. Bye for now!
The rest of the day I spent in the solitude of the dormitory and no one returned to the common room until late. In the quiet vicinity of the tower I had time to recount the day's events and do some inner thinking. I feel like such a coward. I'm running from a monster that has the power to destroy and then disappear within my better self like breath upon a glass. The monster is me, yet how can I win against it? It fears my ability to cut off its powerful grip to the outside world, and because of that this vampyrian fiend would willingly destroy me. I fear this fate, but most of all I am afraid of what it could do to those closest to me; Hermione, Ron, Harry... and Dameon. I would freely take my own life, I'm not afraid to die, if I knew they would be safe, but that can never be- all because Voldemort still exists. He's taken everything from me and made me fear my existence. For this he must die... and I swear it will be my hand that tears his beating heart from his wicked chest. I will not be forced into his servitude to be wielded as a mere weapon! This burden-this fear-it weighs so much, but I know you want me to stay strong Dameon... and for you only will I try.
Just then I heard the door to the common room snap closed. I had been lying on my bed staring at the canopy. While trying to ignore the presence of the other person I focused my attention on the intricacies of the woven cloth. The threads are woven so tightly. A thread alone will break, but together they are invincible. For all my life I've been that single thread... and now I'm shredding and I too will break. Is this what you meant, Dameon? To try and trust them to become part of life's stronger tapestry? But they questioned my self-control, my pride and thus my honor. I'm so fed up with people telling me what I can or can't do! Why can't they all just shut up and back off?!!
I didn't notice (either that or I didn't care) the sound of staunch rapid footsteps approaching the girl's dormitory.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Hermione had burst into the room angrily. Oh, here we go.
"Not everything's your business, Miss Granger," I mumbled offhandedly.
"What?!" Now she's pissed.
"Some things are best unsaid, especially when it's in the best interests of one's companions," I whispered in the same monotone voice, "It's as Dumbledore insinuated. I'm dangerous... to everyone. I just thought it would be easier if you didn't know who-what I was. So if I..." I choked on the words painfully, "if I did something... you wouldn't hesitate to kill me. Because I know that when a person knows another's weakness it is only human nature to stop to pity them before protecting their own life. And I don't want you to make that mistake." She stared at me horrified at what I was saying. I held up my hands to her, "These have been my weapons for at least eight long years and too often have they become drunk with other's blood. I will not allow your blood to become another stain upon these canvases. So don't get too close to me, Granger, since unlike you I wouldn't falter to kill again. And the thing is... my soul is so dark with sin that I wouldn't care." My lips curled into a malicious smile that could have even rivaled Snape's.
"You've kkkkilled someone?" she visibly shuddered. I watched her eyes widen in fear-just like the people in my dreams. My world seems to have crumbled before my feat. First I'm given a fate of destruction and now... I loose you Hermione.
"Many," I continued grinning cruelly, "And now, I don't wish to talk anymore," I left her sitting stunned and strode from the room to wander the ground.
Hey scythe21 here. Thanks to everyone who's kept with the story so far! (That means you Anaili, Crazy-Lil-Nae-Nae, enb2004, deathgoddess017, and PowderedToast510!) Anyways I just wanted to say keep the suggestions/reviews coming and keep reading to discover the rest to Raven's story. Bye for now!