Merry and Pippin Go To America

a/n: this is my very first fic.. I hope that it is okay.

Disclaimer: You'd think that we wouldn't have to put these on every story, since this website IS But nooo, WE have to say that we do not own LotR or whatever. So, I don't own LotR, Merry, Pippin, or Gandalf, and all that jazz.

Prologue

"Hey Gandalf!"

"What, fool of a Took?"

"Merry and me are bored."

"It's Merry and I, Peregrine. Why don't you go and toss yourselves off a cliff?"

"We did that yesterday. Now we're bored again."

"What about drinking?"

"Doctor told us to stay off it."

"A doctor? Since when did you see a doctor?"

"Since Frodo got a degree from an online medical school."

"I won't ask. Why don't you smoke some pipeweed?"

"Causes lung cancer."

"Sigh."

A light bulb then went off in Gandalf's head.

'Ouch!"

"What's wrong, Gandalf, dude?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Then the light bulb started to speak.

"Hey you!" is what it said. "Why don't you send those two stupid hobbits to a different dimension? There's that one place you visited, you know, really big, lots of people, many roads, takes over a year to see it all."

"The internet?'

'No, America, you dimwit."

"Ohhhhh. I get it now. You want me to get out that old portal that I got at Saruman's last garage sale and send the young hobbits to America."

"You're finally catching on."

"Hey Peregrine!"

"Have you finally traded your disco ball for Galadriel's china collection?"

"No, you fool. You and Merry are going to a brand new place that you've never been before!

" ROADTRIP! Awesome, dude, is it Mordor?"

'No.'

Then Merry joined in.

"Hey homefries, what's up dawgs?"

"Gandalf is going to send us somewhere we've never been before.

" ROADTRIP!!! Is it Aragorn's bathtub?"

"Quiet!"

"You are going," said Gandalf with a dramatic flare, "to America!"

"Ameriwhat?"

"America. Here's a map, several million dollars, and keys to a VW bug convertible!"

'What are dollars?"

"What's a VW bug convertible?"

"You'll find out soon enough," said Gandalf as a smirk played upon his face. (A/N: why do facial expressions play? Why don't they work?)

"Off you go then! Buh-bye!"

"AHHHH!"

"Yippee!" exclaimed Gandalf.

And that's how Merry and Pippin came to the U.S. of A.

A/N: Good? Bad? I'm not going to be one of those pathetico people who beg others to review. Still, comments are appreciated.