Chapter 2: Confusion

A/N: cool, I got a review. Merry and Pippin will eventually make it to the West Coast, but for now they are hanging out in the East.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own LotR. If I did, I could actually afford all the stuff from the Noble Collection. I also borrowed sticky note #5 from literary genius Dave Barry.

Merry and Pippin found themselves on a beach. Right beside them was a VW bug. However, our favorite hobbits didn't know that.

"Merry, what IS that thing?"

"Maybe it's a new evil weapon."

"I don't know. But believe it or not, it could be a transportation device.

"Yeah, right."

"I'm actually serious. Let's go check it out."

"It's not a hobbit lass, Pippin."

"Maybe it's that thing Gandalf mentioned, a VW bug?"

"It doesn't look like a bug to me."

"Well maybe it is.'

'And maybe it isn't."

"And maybe it is."

"And maybe it isn't."

"Let's just go see what it is."

The hobbits ran over and saw about 5 sticky notes stuck on the windshield. They read (in order):

"You are now in America. You will be traveling all around here for a long time, so get used to it."

"This is called a car. Its brand is Volkswagen, also known as VW, and the model is the Beetle. You will learn more about it when you get inside."

"Inside, you will also find something called money. It is all those little green pieces of paper and the round metal bits. You use it to buy stuff, like food and clothes."

"By the way, you'll have to ditch the clothes if you don't want to be beaten up."

And the last one read:

"FordSuzukiHondaChevroletRollsRoycePorsheoffersmoneybackguaranteewegetyourhouseanyourfamilyandyourkidneys."

"What are kidneys, Merry?"

"Don't know, Pip."

Merry and Pippin got inside the car. There they read:

"Most cars you have to drive manually. But since there isn't enough time for you two to get driving lessons, just push this fuchsia button here and it will go wherever you tell it to. KEEP THE MONEY SECRET. KEEP IT SAFE. If anyone takes it, you're toast. Whenever you need anything, just exchange it for what you are trying to obtain.

"What does obtain mean, Merry?'

"Get, you dimwit."

"Oh."

The hobbits also found a road map of the U.S. plus a travel journal, even though Pippin still was only 99 sure what the difference was between "u" and "v".

"According to this map, we are in Florida, who's motto is "Florida: We don't know how to vote, but we sure are friendly."

"What is vote?"

"I guess we'll find out later."

"Let's see, according to this map we are about twenty miles from Miami. Let's go there.'

"Okay," replied Merry, "MIAMI!"

And off they went.

A/N Review if you feel like it. I won't make you. Although I am confused when people say to push the purple button that says "submit review." For me, it's mostly white with a little bit of blue.