// Poor General Hammond; he doesn't know what he's in for.
// See previous chapter for details and stuff
// Authors Note: Uh, actually, for once, I've got nothing to put here. Wow. Ok then, on with the story.
Chapter 5
Major General George Hammond of the SGC sat in his office, looking over the four members of SG-1, the Stargate programs flagship team. It had been a long day.
First he had to explain to the President the newest predicament of SG-1 (which meant he owed the man $50, as well). Next, it had been necessary to contact the Asgard and explain to Thor that SG-1 wouldn't be able to attend the Protected-Planets Summit this time around, which seemed to greatly disappoint Thor. Then he had to contact the Tok'ra and insist on one of their medical experts come and take a look at SG-1 ASAP. And last of all, he had had to round up SG-1 in the commissary after they went tearing through the halls and harassed several scientists and a roughed up one nurse.
Also present in the room besides himself and SG-1 was Doctor Frasier, who he was relying on to help keep Jack under control should things get out of hand here. He didn't want to subject her to anymore of this than necessary (God knows, she had been through enough yesterday), but he just didn't think anyone else would be able to control SG-1 like she could.
"Okay, people." He mentally prepared himself for what was to come next. "We've got about eighteen hours until the Tok'ra get here. So, until then-"
"Sir, do we *have* to let the snakeheads visit?"
"Colonel, don't call my father a snakehead."
"Carter, I would NEVER call your father a snakehead. It's the snake inside his head that I call a snakehead."
'Great, Jack's starting already.' "We need their expertise in this matter. They may have encountered something like this before."
"YoushouldlistentoGeneralHammond,O'Neill. TheTok'ramayindeedpossessthekeytofreeing ourselvesfromthisstate." Teal'c O_o
Hammond stared at the Jaffa for a moment. "I'm sorry son, what was that?"
"Whatwaswhat,GeneralHammond?"
The general shook his head, "Never mind." Sam O_o "When the Tok'ra get here-"
"Oh, when are the Tok'ra getting here? Is Dad, I mean, *ahem* is my father coming?"
"I'm sorry, Major, but Jacob and Selmac are needed for a mission in Goa'uld space right now. They're sending someone else they feel we'll be comfortable with: " Jack & Daniel O_o "Anise."
Jack went a little wide-eyed at that. "What?" said Jack. "Anise?" asked Daniel.
"She's coming here to help you," he tried explaining patiently.
"Aaah! No, send her back, get her away, away!"
"Yeah, I'm with Jack on this one; we don't need her."
"Send her back! Send her back!" both men chorused.
"Damn it, what the hell is the matter with you two? She's a scientist, coming to help you get your memory back." Jack O_o "Are you saying you want to stay like this?"
"Like what?"
"It's Anise, Jack."
"Anise? Where?!" Jack looked frantically around the big room, his eyes wide, ready to flee if necessary.
Hammond heaved a sigh. So this was what Doctor Frasier went through earlier. "Never mind, she's not here, Colonel."
"Oh, okay; *whew*." the colonel went back to staring off into space happily.
"PerhapsO'NeillwouldfeelmorecomfortableiftheAsgardweretheonestorenderaidtous. ThiswouldallowtheTok'ratodevotethemselvesmorefullytofightingtheGoa'uld."
Hammond just shook his head. "Doctor Frasier, can you tell what's making him talk like that? Is this a part of the memory loss as well?" Sam O_o
"Uh, no sir. He was just in Kel-noreem for 38 hours, that's all."
"Wow, Teal'c you Kel-noreemed for that long?" Sam sounded seriously shocked.
"IamunawareofeverhavingKel-noreemedforsuchalongperiodoftime,MajorCarter. Itisnotimpossible that,inmycurrent state,somepartofmymindforgottoawakenafteranappropriateamountoftimehadpassed."
Hammond was wide-eyed at this admission. "Well, no wonder, you're so jumpy son." Teal'c & Jack O_o "I'd be itching for something to do, too, if I had just woken up after being asleep for over a day on end."
"Indeed." Teal'c began scratching himself, as did Jack.
"I was thinking now that we should go over what happened before you entered the temple on PV8-366." The general began to get out some documents related to that mission.
"Hey Doc, you got any calamine lotion on ya?"
Frasier frowned. "Not with me Colonel. Why, what do you need it for?" Daniel O_o
"What do ya think? I'm itching here."
"Really?" Daniel began to scratch his arms too. Sam O_o "Me too."
"You too, what?" she asked before Hammond could stop her.
"Itching."
"Itching?" She also began to scratch. "Yeah, I see what you mean."
"Will you all stop that?!" Hammond bellowed at them. They stopped, for the moment.
Jack raised his hand. Hammond let out a sigh. "What is it, Colonel?"
"Sir, permission to scratch freely?"
"I thought that was what you were just doing."
"This is a little more…private, sir."
Hammond nodded in comprehension. He knew how those were. "Very well, just…don't let us see it."
"Gotcha." Jack spun his chair around so that he was facing away from everyone else.
"Hey, hold on a second," Daniel protested, "how come he can scratch and we can't?" Jack O_o
"Fine, fine, you can all scratch." Teal'c and Daniel O_o " Happy?"
"Happy about what, general?" asked Daniel as Teal'c began to grin.
"Oh for God's sake!" the general exclaimed.
They all heard a thumping sound and turned to see Jack sprawled on the floor. "Oww," he moaned.
"Your voice must have startled him, sir, in the midst of his…scratching." Janet kneeled over Jack. "Colonel, sir, are you all right?"
He opened his eyes and, "AAH! NO NEEDLES!"
"WhyareyounothappythatDoctorFrasierisconcernedforyou,O'Neill? Youshouldbepleasedtohave suchadedicatedandintelligentwomanheretotakecareofyou." Then the Jaffa went back to grinning like an idiot for no good reason. Sam O_o
Daniel and Janet, meanwhile, were trying to pry Jack off the ceiling fan, to which he resolutely clung. Jack O_o Suddenly, he simply let go, landing on top of the two doctors.
"Oh, heya Doc, Daniel…what are you two doing on the floor together?" His voice contained a mock accusatory tone.
Sam spun around in her seat to eye her three friends in their situation. She couldn't help but giggle at how Daniel and Janet were in a rather compromising position, with Jack laying sprawled perpendicular on top of them.
"Damn it, Colonel, Doctor Jackson, get off Doctor Frasier immediately." Both complied. 'Poor woman.' Daniel O_o "Doctor, I think you've been subjected to enough for today; you can go."
Both Janet and Daniel started to leave.
"Dr. Jackson, get back here!" Hammond roared at the archaeologist.
"But, you said I could go." Jack O_o
"Sit down, both of you."
"Okey dokey." Jack sat down on the floor, pulling Daniel down with him after a second.
"Not there, damn it. Your chairs!" Sam and Teal'c O_o "In your chairs."
"IN our chairs?" Sam piped up. She and Teal'c immediately began to dissect the briefing rooms chairs they had been using.
"Major, Teal'c stop that immediately." Hammond was reaching the end of his rope now. "Honestly, I will never be able to enjoy Pixar again because of this."
*Bzzzt* The desk intercom rang to life. Hammond slapped it quiet with one meaty fist. "WHAT?!"
"Uhh…" The voice of one scared Sgt. Siler issued from the comm. Jack O_o "Uh, sir?"
"Yes?" Jack and Hammond answered at the same time. Raising eyes brimming with the pure fury of tropical thunderstorms, Hammond glared at the Air Force colonel across the table from him. Wisely, Jack decided to investigate something very interesting on the ceiling. "I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed, Sergeant. What is it?"
"The president, sir. I, uh, have him on hold."
"Oh, for the love of Christ." *Sigh* "I'll be right there, Sergeant." The general shut off the comm., then directed his attention to the two SFs guarding the room. "SG-1 is not to leave this room under any, I repeat, ANY circumstances without my say-so. Understood?"
"Yes sir." Both SFs saluted and formed a two-man barricade at the conference room door after Hammond had passed through.
Not that this mattered to SG-1 in any way, since in thirty seconds all of them had their memory lapse yet again.
"Jack?"
"Yeah, Danny?"
"Why are you staring at the ceiling?"
"Dunno. Bored, I guess."
"Hmm," Daniel grunted by way of agreement.
"AreanyoftherestofyoucravingsustenancelikeIcurrentlyam?"
"Huh?" asked Sam, Jack, and Daniel all at once.
"FOOD!"
"Oh," the rest of the team chorused. "Well, I could do with some jell-o right about now," opined Carter. Daniel O_o
"Excellent idea, Major. SF!" The smaller of the two soldiers advanced cautiously towards O'Neill. Everyone on the base knew that a hungry O'Neill was a grumpy O'Neill. "Go down to the commissary and get us two, no, three buckets of red Jell-o-"
"-and blue, sir"-
"-green, I like green Jack -"
"-Iprefertheorangeformofthedesert-"
"-…yeah and…some of those types too." He sat thinking for a moment. "And bring an inflatable pool as well."
The SF, already halfway to the door, stopped, turned around, and looked at O'Neill like he had suddenly sprouted yellow fur and a pair of horns. 'Well, this IS SG-1. They've done stranger,' he thought. Then he went to fulfill the colonel's request.
"Uh, Jack, why the pool?" Sam O_o
"So Carter and I can wrestle in it."
"In what, sir?"
"A pool filled with Jell-o, Carter."
Sam looked a little skeptical. Jack and Teal'c O_o "Will there be any *blue* Jell-o involved?"
"Idonotknowwhatactivityyouarereferingto,MajorCarter,orwhytherewouldbeanyJell-oinvolvedinitsperformance."
"Huh?" Jack was clueless, as usual.
"In our Jell-o wrestling, sir. Any blue Jell-o in it?"
He looked like a boy who had been told Christmas would come twice this year. "Really? You'll do it if it's blue?"
"Are you kidding? I'll do just about anything for blue Jell-o." 'Which is why I'm so glad I get it for free on base.'
Jack began to smile dreamily. He was about to let a few pleasant scenarios involved the aforementioned scene float through his head, Daniel O_o when –
"Incoming wormhole," the base intercom announced. Sam O_o
"AAHH, DUCK!" Daniel launched himself under the conference table, where his head met a new friend, Mr. Table Leg. *Bump* Jack O_o
"Ooohh, a duck? Where?" Carter was up and searching for the mystery bird, Jack on her heels. Truth be told, he didn't really like ducks; those weird noises and stupid bills rubbed him the wrong way. He DID, however, like the *taste* of duck.
So that's the way they were, Sam searching for a duck that she thought *must* be playing hide-and-go-seek to remain hidden from her this long, Jack following Sam, intent on eating the bird, Daniel under the table, unconscious, and Teal'c sitting in his chair, tapping his feet and his fingers on the floor and table in tune to the theme of Babylon 5 at 20x normal speed-
-when in walked…
"Jeez, George wasn't kidding about you all, was he?"
All of SG-1 turned to welcome Jacob Carter/Selmak back to Earth.
"Dad, hi!"
"GreetingsandgooddaytoyouJacobCarterandSelmak."
"Oh, my head…"
"Great, ducks and snakes, my day just keeps getting better and better."
TBC
// Coming up next, enter the Tok'ra
// Review please! Oh yeah, do I own Jell-o, Disney and Pixar? NO, there I said it, so now they can't touch me! HAHAHA, I'm safe, safe I tell you. *pppbbththhhh*
// See previous chapter for details and stuff
// Authors Note: Uh, actually, for once, I've got nothing to put here. Wow. Ok then, on with the story.
Chapter 5
Major General George Hammond of the SGC sat in his office, looking over the four members of SG-1, the Stargate programs flagship team. It had been a long day.
First he had to explain to the President the newest predicament of SG-1 (which meant he owed the man $50, as well). Next, it had been necessary to contact the Asgard and explain to Thor that SG-1 wouldn't be able to attend the Protected-Planets Summit this time around, which seemed to greatly disappoint Thor. Then he had to contact the Tok'ra and insist on one of their medical experts come and take a look at SG-1 ASAP. And last of all, he had had to round up SG-1 in the commissary after they went tearing through the halls and harassed several scientists and a roughed up one nurse.
Also present in the room besides himself and SG-1 was Doctor Frasier, who he was relying on to help keep Jack under control should things get out of hand here. He didn't want to subject her to anymore of this than necessary (God knows, she had been through enough yesterday), but he just didn't think anyone else would be able to control SG-1 like she could.
"Okay, people." He mentally prepared himself for what was to come next. "We've got about eighteen hours until the Tok'ra get here. So, until then-"
"Sir, do we *have* to let the snakeheads visit?"
"Colonel, don't call my father a snakehead."
"Carter, I would NEVER call your father a snakehead. It's the snake inside his head that I call a snakehead."
'Great, Jack's starting already.' "We need their expertise in this matter. They may have encountered something like this before."
"YoushouldlistentoGeneralHammond,O'Neill. TheTok'ramayindeedpossessthekeytofreeing ourselvesfromthisstate." Teal'c O_o
Hammond stared at the Jaffa for a moment. "I'm sorry son, what was that?"
"Whatwaswhat,GeneralHammond?"
The general shook his head, "Never mind." Sam O_o "When the Tok'ra get here-"
"Oh, when are the Tok'ra getting here? Is Dad, I mean, *ahem* is my father coming?"
"I'm sorry, Major, but Jacob and Selmac are needed for a mission in Goa'uld space right now. They're sending someone else they feel we'll be comfortable with: " Jack & Daniel O_o "Anise."
Jack went a little wide-eyed at that. "What?" said Jack. "Anise?" asked Daniel.
"She's coming here to help you," he tried explaining patiently.
"Aaah! No, send her back, get her away, away!"
"Yeah, I'm with Jack on this one; we don't need her."
"Send her back! Send her back!" both men chorused.
"Damn it, what the hell is the matter with you two? She's a scientist, coming to help you get your memory back." Jack O_o "Are you saying you want to stay like this?"
"Like what?"
"It's Anise, Jack."
"Anise? Where?!" Jack looked frantically around the big room, his eyes wide, ready to flee if necessary.
Hammond heaved a sigh. So this was what Doctor Frasier went through earlier. "Never mind, she's not here, Colonel."
"Oh, okay; *whew*." the colonel went back to staring off into space happily.
"PerhapsO'NeillwouldfeelmorecomfortableiftheAsgardweretheonestorenderaidtous. ThiswouldallowtheTok'ratodevotethemselvesmorefullytofightingtheGoa'uld."
Hammond just shook his head. "Doctor Frasier, can you tell what's making him talk like that? Is this a part of the memory loss as well?" Sam O_o
"Uh, no sir. He was just in Kel-noreem for 38 hours, that's all."
"Wow, Teal'c you Kel-noreemed for that long?" Sam sounded seriously shocked.
"IamunawareofeverhavingKel-noreemedforsuchalongperiodoftime,MajorCarter. Itisnotimpossible that,inmycurrent state,somepartofmymindforgottoawakenafteranappropriateamountoftimehadpassed."
Hammond was wide-eyed at this admission. "Well, no wonder, you're so jumpy son." Teal'c & Jack O_o "I'd be itching for something to do, too, if I had just woken up after being asleep for over a day on end."
"Indeed." Teal'c began scratching himself, as did Jack.
"I was thinking now that we should go over what happened before you entered the temple on PV8-366." The general began to get out some documents related to that mission.
"Hey Doc, you got any calamine lotion on ya?"
Frasier frowned. "Not with me Colonel. Why, what do you need it for?" Daniel O_o
"What do ya think? I'm itching here."
"Really?" Daniel began to scratch his arms too. Sam O_o "Me too."
"You too, what?" she asked before Hammond could stop her.
"Itching."
"Itching?" She also began to scratch. "Yeah, I see what you mean."
"Will you all stop that?!" Hammond bellowed at them. They stopped, for the moment.
Jack raised his hand. Hammond let out a sigh. "What is it, Colonel?"
"Sir, permission to scratch freely?"
"I thought that was what you were just doing."
"This is a little more…private, sir."
Hammond nodded in comprehension. He knew how those were. "Very well, just…don't let us see it."
"Gotcha." Jack spun his chair around so that he was facing away from everyone else.
"Hey, hold on a second," Daniel protested, "how come he can scratch and we can't?" Jack O_o
"Fine, fine, you can all scratch." Teal'c and Daniel O_o " Happy?"
"Happy about what, general?" asked Daniel as Teal'c began to grin.
"Oh for God's sake!" the general exclaimed.
They all heard a thumping sound and turned to see Jack sprawled on the floor. "Oww," he moaned.
"Your voice must have startled him, sir, in the midst of his…scratching." Janet kneeled over Jack. "Colonel, sir, are you all right?"
He opened his eyes and, "AAH! NO NEEDLES!"
"WhyareyounothappythatDoctorFrasierisconcernedforyou,O'Neill? Youshouldbepleasedtohave suchadedicatedandintelligentwomanheretotakecareofyou." Then the Jaffa went back to grinning like an idiot for no good reason. Sam O_o
Daniel and Janet, meanwhile, were trying to pry Jack off the ceiling fan, to which he resolutely clung. Jack O_o Suddenly, he simply let go, landing on top of the two doctors.
"Oh, heya Doc, Daniel…what are you two doing on the floor together?" His voice contained a mock accusatory tone.
Sam spun around in her seat to eye her three friends in their situation. She couldn't help but giggle at how Daniel and Janet were in a rather compromising position, with Jack laying sprawled perpendicular on top of them.
"Damn it, Colonel, Doctor Jackson, get off Doctor Frasier immediately." Both complied. 'Poor woman.' Daniel O_o "Doctor, I think you've been subjected to enough for today; you can go."
Both Janet and Daniel started to leave.
"Dr. Jackson, get back here!" Hammond roared at the archaeologist.
"But, you said I could go." Jack O_o
"Sit down, both of you."
"Okey dokey." Jack sat down on the floor, pulling Daniel down with him after a second.
"Not there, damn it. Your chairs!" Sam and Teal'c O_o "In your chairs."
"IN our chairs?" Sam piped up. She and Teal'c immediately began to dissect the briefing rooms chairs they had been using.
"Major, Teal'c stop that immediately." Hammond was reaching the end of his rope now. "Honestly, I will never be able to enjoy Pixar again because of this."
*Bzzzt* The desk intercom rang to life. Hammond slapped it quiet with one meaty fist. "WHAT?!"
"Uhh…" The voice of one scared Sgt. Siler issued from the comm. Jack O_o "Uh, sir?"
"Yes?" Jack and Hammond answered at the same time. Raising eyes brimming with the pure fury of tropical thunderstorms, Hammond glared at the Air Force colonel across the table from him. Wisely, Jack decided to investigate something very interesting on the ceiling. "I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed, Sergeant. What is it?"
"The president, sir. I, uh, have him on hold."
"Oh, for the love of Christ." *Sigh* "I'll be right there, Sergeant." The general shut off the comm., then directed his attention to the two SFs guarding the room. "SG-1 is not to leave this room under any, I repeat, ANY circumstances without my say-so. Understood?"
"Yes sir." Both SFs saluted and formed a two-man barricade at the conference room door after Hammond had passed through.
Not that this mattered to SG-1 in any way, since in thirty seconds all of them had their memory lapse yet again.
"Jack?"
"Yeah, Danny?"
"Why are you staring at the ceiling?"
"Dunno. Bored, I guess."
"Hmm," Daniel grunted by way of agreement.
"AreanyoftherestofyoucravingsustenancelikeIcurrentlyam?"
"Huh?" asked Sam, Jack, and Daniel all at once.
"FOOD!"
"Oh," the rest of the team chorused. "Well, I could do with some jell-o right about now," opined Carter. Daniel O_o
"Excellent idea, Major. SF!" The smaller of the two soldiers advanced cautiously towards O'Neill. Everyone on the base knew that a hungry O'Neill was a grumpy O'Neill. "Go down to the commissary and get us two, no, three buckets of red Jell-o-"
"-and blue, sir"-
"-green, I like green Jack -"
"-Iprefertheorangeformofthedesert-"
"-…yeah and…some of those types too." He sat thinking for a moment. "And bring an inflatable pool as well."
The SF, already halfway to the door, stopped, turned around, and looked at O'Neill like he had suddenly sprouted yellow fur and a pair of horns. 'Well, this IS SG-1. They've done stranger,' he thought. Then he went to fulfill the colonel's request.
"Uh, Jack, why the pool?" Sam O_o
"So Carter and I can wrestle in it."
"In what, sir?"
"A pool filled with Jell-o, Carter."
Sam looked a little skeptical. Jack and Teal'c O_o "Will there be any *blue* Jell-o involved?"
"Idonotknowwhatactivityyouarereferingto,MajorCarter,orwhytherewouldbeanyJell-oinvolvedinitsperformance."
"Huh?" Jack was clueless, as usual.
"In our Jell-o wrestling, sir. Any blue Jell-o in it?"
He looked like a boy who had been told Christmas would come twice this year. "Really? You'll do it if it's blue?"
"Are you kidding? I'll do just about anything for blue Jell-o." 'Which is why I'm so glad I get it for free on base.'
Jack began to smile dreamily. He was about to let a few pleasant scenarios involved the aforementioned scene float through his head, Daniel O_o when –
"Incoming wormhole," the base intercom announced. Sam O_o
"AAHH, DUCK!" Daniel launched himself under the conference table, where his head met a new friend, Mr. Table Leg. *Bump* Jack O_o
"Ooohh, a duck? Where?" Carter was up and searching for the mystery bird, Jack on her heels. Truth be told, he didn't really like ducks; those weird noises and stupid bills rubbed him the wrong way. He DID, however, like the *taste* of duck.
So that's the way they were, Sam searching for a duck that she thought *must* be playing hide-and-go-seek to remain hidden from her this long, Jack following Sam, intent on eating the bird, Daniel under the table, unconscious, and Teal'c sitting in his chair, tapping his feet and his fingers on the floor and table in tune to the theme of Babylon 5 at 20x normal speed-
-when in walked…
"Jeez, George wasn't kidding about you all, was he?"
All of SG-1 turned to welcome Jacob Carter/Selmak back to Earth.
"Dad, hi!"
"GreetingsandgooddaytoyouJacobCarterandSelmak."
"Oh, my head…"
"Great, ducks and snakes, my day just keeps getting better and better."
TBC
// Coming up next, enter the Tok'ra
// Review please! Oh yeah, do I own Jell-o, Disney and Pixar? NO, there I said it, so now they can't touch me! HAHAHA, I'm safe, safe I tell you. *pppbbththhhh*