My Ruin
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this idea and/or any original characters that might appear.
Summary: Oh yes, it hurt, it hurt like hell, he didn't love her, she was blind to even think such a thought. He had made her feel like she was put on this forsaken earth just for him, and it had made her feel . . . special . . . for just one moment in her life. But that feeling was long dead, it had died with whatever love they both once shared. Which in this case, there was none.
Rated: R for violence, abuse, and language, NO lemon because I'm too young to write such things.
Genre: Romance/Horror/Drama
Note: As for the songs I put in before the chapter sometimes they will be the entire song or just a part of the song, I do not own these songs and they are only put here because I feel they explain the story in a strange way.
In the moonshine,
I leave no trace,
My visions have gone,
Far away from this place,
They've dissolved . . .
-Dissolve
4444
As long as she did what he asked she would not be harmed, except this time.
"Worthless! That's all you are! Worthless!" he kicked her in the stomach, "You idiot!" and as she laid there in front of him, still as concrete he knew she was fighting off tears, his words hurt more then his punches or kicks. He knew no matter what torture he put her body through; his words could and would cut through her far more then anything else on earth. It almost was enough to make him hysterical with laughter.
"Get up." he said grabbing her hair and forcing her up a quick hiss of pain escaped her lips before he threw her across the room. God it hurt like hell, she was lucky she didn't have a concussion from the fact that her head had hit the wall.
"My Kotori." He said quietly as he bent beside her wiping the blood off of her bottom lip, "If you had done what I told you to do you would not be in the pain you are in now." How long had it been since he had started calling her kotori? 4 years now? Wow, she had really put up with his torture for that long eh? She smiled to herself in her head, as she knew it would end soon, very soon.
"Aoshi." She whispered.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry." Well, why not? She wasn't going to be around him much longer, so why not play his game before she disappears forever?
"Good Kotori."
Why was he so violent with her? What had happened in his life to make him such a mental freak? She wished she knew, they had both grown up together and nothing ever seemed wrong with him when she was around him, nothing at all.
"You have been trying so hard lately Kotori, so very, very hard not to upset me and even though you screwed up just a few minutes ago, I think you deserve a reward." Unlike so many times before, he picked her up gently making sure she was comfortable, or at least the most comfortable she could get. She groaned a bit from discomfort but such groans where not heard by anyone except her. As lightly as possible he set her onto the couch and left the room, yes that was a reward she requested, was to be left alone. Even though right now she could go for a massage or something, she knew she could use this time to escape.
She waited a few minutes, thinking he had just gone to his study as usual, she stood up her legs felt like jelly and she tried walking, her vision a little blurry, she slowly started walking up until she got to the front of the house. She started fidgeting with the lock on the door until finally she unlocked it, opening the door she saw the bottom glass door, as she looked out she smiled, it was her last layer to get through to freedom.
She looked up to get to the lock on the glass door when she noticed it was unlocked, her eyes widened as she finally noticed Aoshi was on the other side of door looking dead at her. He opened the door, "Is they're something you want Misao?" Oh shit, she knew she was in for pain if he used her real name instead of the nickname Kotori. She couldn't say anything; he knew what she had been doing. He sighed slightly and walked in closing and locking the door after him.
'Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!!!!!!!!!!!' Her mind screamed.
She closed her eyes tightly expecting to be slapped and then beaten bloody, but instead there was nothing. Nothing except a warm embrace as he had wrapped his arms around her tightly, and for a brief moment she wanted to cry, she wanted the old Aoshi back, she wanted rid of this monster using his good name. She wanted the boy who had brought her flowers when she was sick back, she wanted the man who would make sure she always had what she needed and wanted back, she didn't want who he was now.
She sighed in his embrace and remembered the happy memories she had of him many years before he became a demon.
4444
It was summer, you could tell by the way the wind blew however, that autumn was near, but that didn't matter at the moment. What mattered were those two children, a boy and a girl close to the same age, were both playing outside happily. The boy had a smile on his face and the girl kept giggling gleefully, it was obvious she was found of him."Let's make a promise." The boy said.
"What kind of promise Aoshi-kun?"
"A promise that says we will be together forever and ever no matter what." Aoshi said cheeks slightly turning a pinkish color.
"Why would we need to make a promise like that?"
"Just promise Misao-chan!"
"Okay." Misao said happily.
The two children closed the promise with a pinky swear and laughed.
4444
'Memories are sweet.' Her mind told her; in fact she was jealous of the happiness she used to have. His embrace felt good, to good almost, like she could lose herself in it, when was it going to end and then go back to pain?"You're stupid." He said in a whisper, "I won't let you leave me."
"But" She said finally speaking up for herself, forgetting he could cause her pain, "How can you expect me to want to stay? Sometimes you hurt me so bad I think being dead would feel better! How can you wake up with yourself? You aren't the man I love anymore! You're some terrible monster in his skin without anything better to do then hurt me!"
Nails scraped across her skin; "You didn't use to be like this Aoshi! You used to be an actual human being who actually cared about how I felt!"
Slapped in all her miserable glory, it was all right though, she knew it was coming eventually. "You" he said angrily, "Shut the fuck up!" her back made contact with the wall.
She looked up at him making direct eye contact, "MAKE ME!" she yelled, "ALL OF IT'S TRUE! YOU'VE MADE IT SO THAT MY FAVORITE PASS TIME IS THINKING OF WAYS TO KILL MYSELF! WHERE'S THE KIND MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH HUH? WHERE IS HE? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"
Before she knew what was happening his hands were at her neck, "You want to die!" he screamed, "I can help you with that!"
Air was something she now strive for, she began gasping for it, his grip was strong, and the view in front of her was slowly turning black, until she saw nothing. Nothing except memories flashing before her very eyes. Times when they were together when he never raised even a finger to hurt her.
4444
He was 16 compared to 14 and they both stood together under the porch of an abandoned house waiting for the rain to stop. It was the first time she had been kissed and she was extremely happy it had been by him. She sat on his lap as they swung on an old swinging chair that creaked whenever it was moved. It had been the first time she saw him smile, sure she saw him smile, but this was the first time he REALLY smiled, and it was because of her too. He gripped her arms slightly as if he was going to push her off of him and every now and then joking like he was going to do just that. She turned her head slightly and kissed his forehead where he raised his head and caught her lips with his, it was better then any candy and it was hers alone. He rested his head on her shoulders and closed his eyes, whispering words to her that she secretly had always wanted to hear.
"I love you Misao."
4444
"Get up!" His voiced screamed at her as she now laid silently on the floor from his strangling, she couldn't see, only hear, she heard everything, the water in the pipes inside the walls, she heard the sound of her heart thumping slowly. So surely she wasn't dead. She heard him breath and his heart, which beat was fast from anger, and she heard him scream at her. But she only concentrated on the memories flashing before her.
4444
She fell onto her bed happily with the phone in her hand up against her ear. They finally had gotten a house together in Tokyo and oh, how she couldn't wait! To live in the same house as the man she loved, god! Can you image all the happy thoughts that raced though her head? They were going to college to study and become doctors together and he had even waited two years for her to finish high school before choosing a college. She also wondered if they would have to share a room together, then suddenly a blush creeped up to her cheeks at the thought of that of which might happen. She talked to him on the phone steadily and happily, but something was wrong. He didn't sound happy.
4444
He was dragging her across the floor by her hair; it hurt of course, that was the point after all. Oh how she wished she was dead, or just some where far, far away from him, would she ever wake up from this nightmare and find the man she loved beside her? If only wishes came true for her.
4444
He had hit her, he had actually hit her and when her tears threatened to fall he did not comfort her. Instead he slapped her once again and told her she was weak, and she guessed that he was right, he was always right. But never once in her life did she expect him to purposely hurt her, never once, and oh god how it had hurt, but surely he didn't mean it, no he couldn't have, he loved her. She was his, always and forever. She knew he hadn't been feeling well lately and she knew that had to be the reason he had hurt her. It HAD to be the reason. He'd apologize and they'd go back to normal and they would be happy together just the two of them.
He never apologized and he never stopped beating her . . .
4444
Misao jerked awake as she slowly realized the blindfold was not over her eyes and she wasn't chained to the bed. Best of all she wasn't dead or maybe that's the worst of all. She felt sore all over her body but she had come accustom to it. What she had found odd besides the fact that she wasn't blindfolded or chained down was that he lay right next to her with his arm around her waist, and he actually looked innocent and almost sweet. But she knew what lay beneath that.
Slowly she moved out of his light grasp trying desperately not to wake him up, she succeeded and for a minute she wished she were still in his grasp so that she could pretend that she was really happy. But instead she headed for the bathroom to run a bath.
She got in and immediately she felt the effect the water had on her aching body, but the nice feeling soon disappeared as quickly as it came when he entered the room. Running is left hand through his messy thick hair, he smiled a little, then he sat down on the counter and watched her. Embarrassed she raised her arms to cover as much of her body as she could.
He closed his eyes and chuckled slightly, "There's no reason to be scared."
'Sure there is' She thought to herself, 'You're insane.'
He opened his eyes and turned his head to the side, "You know Kotori, you really are beautiful."
'Oh yeah, tell me that while my face is probably tomato red from you in here, I have all these bruises and cuts on my body, I have trash bags under my eyes, AND my face looks like shit with or without the blushing. Oh yeah I bet I'm beautiful.' She thought. 'Damn, if I had said that allowed I would have gotten the shit beat out of me.'
She brought her knees up to her body to cover even more when she felt his gaze on her. "Relax Kotori, I'm not going to rape you."
'How do I know that for sure you freak? You've done everything else.'
As she sat there dead scared in his view he started humming the song Petals by Hole, this song had been her favorite for a very long time. And for just a moment she relaxed falling under a small sense of security of his deep voice.
Notes: Aww, I only got one review, oh well, THANK YOU BLUERUROUNI! Well, so much for this chapter, R&R please. It'll give me something to concentrate on while I go to my orchestra concert in a few hours.
Kotori means 'Sweet Little Bird' incase you didn't know.