My Ruin
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except this idea and/or any original characters that might appear.
Summary: Oh yes, it hurt, it hurt like hell, he didn't love her, she was blind to even think such a thought. He had made her feel like she was put on this forsaken earth just for him, and it had made her feel . . . special . . . for just one moment in her life. But that feeling was long dead, it had died with whatever love they both once shared. Which in this case, there was none.
Rated: R for violence, abuse, and language, NO lemon because I'm too young to write such things.
Genre: Romance/Horror/Drama
Note: As for the songs I put in before the chapter sometimes they will be the entire song or just a part of the song, I do not own these songs and they are only put here because I feel they explain the story in a strange way.
Review Replies:
Misao Mei Mei: I play Viola too! You'll have to wait for the info on why Aoshi's so jacked up though hehe. I'd love for my fic to be up on your site! I sent you the e-mail and everything, although I'm guessing I'll have to send you this chapter too . . . unless you want to put it up for me hehehe j/k
SofaAndAnime: Oh thank you for telling me about my spelling mistake, I forgot to fix that, you see my computer changes her name every time I write it so it got jacked up and since I had only said her name once I had forgotten.
Tesuka-Chan: Haha, I'm 14! I hate writing lemon to be honest with you though, I just felt it fit in good with the story . . . hehe. I have no idea if there's going to be another, and I don't know I'm even going to be able to even write it! I might have to ask another author to or something [You want to? Hehe]. I can't help writing all this angsty stuff I just love it! I plan on writing more really soon. I've actually got a rather happy/humor story of Aoshi and Misao coming up soon, so keep watching because I'm sure you'd love it!
NameleeByChoice: Yes I know I've gotten quite sick of all the happy AxM stories, however I do like a lot of them. I just really wanted to make something that would get people off guard.
Ali-chan6: Sounds like someone is going to need a tissue whenever she reads this hehe j/k.
Pyroaoi: Yes I am too interested in why he's such a mental case. Hmmm . . . gives me something to think on!
Fallen LP Angel: Story of your life eh? Interesting! Glad you got out of it though
Drunkstrawberri: I plan to for a long time! Hehe
BlueRurouni: My first reviewer for this story! Thank you!
4444
Your pretty face just grabbed the headlights,
Leaving nothing but my name,
And all my grief keeps multiplying,
And I pretend to feel no pain . . .
-Uncool
Written and performed by Courtney Love [Ex-lead singer of Hole, now solo- artist, and yes, still guilty of the murder of Kurt Cobain.]
4444
Ding-dong.
"Just one minute!" A light male voice said.
She stood waiting silently, hands behind her back, standing on her tiptoes and then back down, god she was nervous, would Kaoru remember her? Would she help her even though they hadn't seen each other in four years? Would Kenshin remember her? How much had Kaoru changed? God with how she changed she doubted they'd recognize her!
But most of all she was afraid of Aoshi, would he track her down or let her go? She hoped for the second one, but she knew deep down he'd never allow it. 'God help me please!' she thought.
She almost fell from nervousness when the door opened to reveal a small man with longish red hair, he squinted his eyes at her for a moment, then they widened, "Mimi-chan!"
"Help me." Was all she could manage out.
Kenshin ushered her in, "Come in! Come in!"
"Thank you."
Kenshin sat her down on the couch. "What the hell happened? We haven't seen you in years!"
"Kenshin-anata who is it?" The light voice of Kaoru questioned.
"Honey, get out here, quick." Kenshin said not taking his eyes off Misao.
Kaoru came through the small hallway, she had changed so much to her eyes, her hair was longer and her eyes were calmer then she remembered, "Mi- Misao!"
"Hi" She said meekly, with a small weak smile.
Kaoru ran over to her and embraced her; "It's been so long!"
"Yeah."
Kaoru put her hands to her face and looked at her, eyes widened slightly at her looks, "What . . . what happened?"
"Did Shinomori-san do that to you?" The voice of Kenshin asked.
She nodded feeling slightly embarrassed, "Four years now, he's the reason I haven't seen you two in so long."
"I take it this was the first time you've gotten out." Kenshin said.
"Hai Kenshin-kun." She said, "I escaped while he was sleeping, I'm frightened of what will happen when he wakes . . ."
Kaoru hugged her once again and whispered, "We won't let him even 500 feet near you!"
"Ah." She hissed as Kaoru had touched one of her injuries.
"Oh god, I'm sorry Mimi-chan!" Kaoru said taking her arms away.
"It's alright."
"What all has he done to you? In fact tell us everything, that is if you're able to talk about it."
She shook her head, shaking slightly at the memories, "N . . . not now . . . I'm sorry . . . I just can't."
Kenshin smiled, "It's alright, tell us when your ready."
Kaoru gasped, "My you must be hungry Misao-chan! Would you like something to eat?"
"Sure. Thank you."
"No problem." Kaoru smiled.
There would never know, never know the pain she had endured, and maybe, just maybe would endure, that is of course, if he found her. She prayed dearly that he would not though.
"Perhaps we should call the police?" Kenshin asked.
Her eyes widened, "NO!" even though she wanted nothing to do with him, she would never allow him to be locked away, never. She knew deep down he didn't deserve it, just as she hadn't deserved to be abused, he was just as innocent as small child, no matter what God or Devil said he was innocent.
Kenshin stood half-confused and half-understanding.
"Please, just don't."
Kenshin nodded, "As you wish."
"Perhaps you would like a bath once you're finished with your meal?" Kaoru said, "We could prepare a room for you while you bathe."
"I would like that." She said softly, "Thank you, you're to kind."
"I'm going to guess that your stay with us will be short correct?" Kenshin asked.
"I don't know, I know I have to get away from this city, maybe even this country, I know he'll try to track me down, and I know you two are the only ones I can trust . . ." Her voice broke a little, "I just want to wake up from this nightmare . . ."
"Then we'll find you someplace safe to stay" Kenshin said, "And just to make sure you're safe, we'll go with you."
She nodded, "If you come, you might become victims."
"I don't care." Kenshin said, "All I know is, is that it's better to help others then to help yourself."
Those words, she knew, would stick inside her head for the rest of her life, however she was not sure she would ever need the words of advice. Hell, she'd be lucky if she'd be able to look at another man ever again -besides Kenshin of course-.
4444
Oh yes, he was furious, more then furious actually he was frantic. The walls of the house showed it too as chunks of them where missing from where he had punched them in. Oh how he would get her back, and when she was back, she would be wishing she were never born.
'A little too late for that isn't it Aoshi? After all, remember what she told you.' a voice inside his head told him.
"Shut the fuck up." he said to himself.
He loved her, yes, even though he beat her and abused her, he loved her more then anything. She was his; no man could have her but him, he'd make sure of that, he'd track her down to the ends of the earth, and if another man so much as thought about her in that way he'd kill the man in his thoughts.
'If you loved her, you wouldn't abuse her.' The voice said again, 'She didn't deserve it, all she did was love and trust you.'
"You act like I don't know that!" He screamed to the voice, "She's no more different then me, a human with emotions and nerves, she feels what I feel!"
'Is that so?' the voice said, 'I didn't know she was a Nihilist.'
"I am not a Nihilist."
'The denial of the existence of any basis for knowledge or truth' the voice simply stated, 'you sound like a Nihilist to me.'
"You shut up!"
He punched another hole in the wall and the voice was silent, "I believe in nothing, not even Nihilism."
'Not even her?'
He did not answer. Instead he sat on his bed; ice colored eyes closed, and for the first time in his life, tears threatened to fall . . .
4444
For her, life was hell, the Himura's had always been so kind to her, and when she had been innocent Kaoru had been her best friend. She had even attended their wedding, her being the maid of honor, and all she could do in return for their kindness was drag them into her hell. She couldn't stop them either, once she had come to their door they wouldn't have let her walk away without a fight.
The bath had been more then nice, it had been wonderful, the first bath she had, had in a long time where she wasn't either in pain from the hot or cold water or where she wasn't being watched.
She lay on the bed they had given her and when she was sure they had gone to bed, she had cried, in fact she still was crying, crying not for herself, but for him. Just thinking of the pain she probably had caused him . . . no he didn't love her . . . he felt nothing for her, that's why whenever he looked at her, it was only a look of emptiness.
She was his rag doll, his plaything, the only thing that amused him. That's why he vented his anger out on her, just as a small child throws a hissy fit, he would make her feel pain the make himself feel better. She had always loved how he was possessive; she had especially liked it when he got jealous, she had always thought it was so cute. But she never wanted him to as possessive as he had become.
Rag doll, his rag doll, his Kotori, his prisoner.
But was it right for a prisoner to cry for her kidnapper?
Her mind echoed yes.
She cried herself to sleep as Lovesong by The Cure ran through her head.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am at home again,
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am a whole again,
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am young again,
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make feel like I am fun again, again.
However far away,
I will always love you,
However far away,
I will always love you,
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you,
I will always love you,
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am free again,
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am clean again, again.
However far away,
I will always love you,
However long I stay,
I will always love you,
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you,
I will always love you . . .
And as she slept, she dreamed of a world where she was finally happy.
Notes: Yee, another chapter down the crapper! Oh and I don't own Lovesong by The Cure [even though I'd LOVE to because it's one of the best songs EVER!] it is property of Robert Smith, and I am obviously not Robert Smith. Anyway, R&R and I might tell you why Aoshi's so jacked up!
I'm such a low life